Mister Romantic

by Alice Cooper

  “I know that you’re right. It galls me to think that he has these attitudes about women being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. I’ve met his wife and she is nothing like that, which leads me to believe that he needs to insert some of his own authority to make himself feel better for what’s happening at home.” I feel sorry for him, but I’m more sorry for his wife Michelle. One look at Victoria and I want to tell her to wear something more appropriate for the office. She likes to flaunt what makes her special. The balloons on her chest certainly do wonders for the morale around here with the male staff finding every opportunity to stop by and say hello.

  Colleen had a few moments to collect her thoughts, going into her office and sitting down to contemplate what tonight’s program was going to be about. She needed to find something to get on her soapbox about and maybe the attitude of men towards women was exactly what she was looking for. It might not be good for her career and those that listened might feel like she was getting too carried away. It might cost her this job, but she really didn’t care. It was time for a resurgence of the battle of the sexes.

  30 minutes later and she was gathering up her papers. She was looking at the notes that she had accumulated from sources on the Internet about men’s attitudes. It was all very fascinating and she had to wonder what kind of reaction she was going to get from the listeners.

  She walked out to find that her secretary Victoria was bending over provocatively in front of her program director Mark Bellamy. They thought that they were fooling everybody, but it was a known fact that they were sleeping with each other on the sly. He wasn’t the only one that Victoria coveted, but he was the only one that she felt powerless not to give in to. She really didn’t consider Mark to be part of the staff, as he was never there in the first place. He was the son of the owner and he only showed up when it was absolutely necessary. He had the equipment at home that he could program the music and be able to enjoy many hours of playing video games, instead of doing his job.

  Colleen had to shake her head, going into the booth and sitting down with the pair of headphones over her ears. She waited for the news break to end, when her delivery was made with the seductive drawl of a woman that was fed up with today’s society of what men wanted from women. “Recently, I’ve begun to realize that women in the workplace have a hard time trying to adjust to those dinosaurs that run roughshod over a woman in a higher position than them. Bullying is not just in high school and if you think otherwise, I want to hear from you.” She continued her tirade, getting various calls from female listeners that were ready to hear her point of view.

  Colleen was an only child and her parents were living in Las Vegas playing games of chance and losing her inheritance $1.00 at a time. She was not foolish to think that they would have anything left over in her twilight years. It was the reason why she dedicated herself to building a reputation for knowing what was best for business. She had tried in vain to find a man to settle down with, but sex was fleeting at best. She wanted somebody that could go the distance and so far there were only those that said they could and turned out to be disappointments.

  There was a conveyor belt of lovelorn males feeling her footprints over their back, as she ran for exit, as fast as she could. Two months and she had celibate and feeling that itch like never before. She took a break from men, knowing that the toys in her collection were going to get one hell of a workout. Batteries were used in abundance and she was thankful that she had the kind that could be recharged while she was at work. She had a pair of panties that had a vibrator built right into the crotch and she had them on right now.

  Every so often, she would move a certain way and let the vibration take her into her own little world. The lights were flashing on the dashboard and she grabbed for one that said for once that it was a man calling in. “I really don’t know where you get off on making these kinds of statements on the air. Women are only good when they’re lying down with their legs in the air. If you women out there think that I care about what you want, then you really don’t understand anything. Most guys are only after one thing and then they will tune you out the rest of the time. Make us happy by making us smile and getting us a beer once in awhile and maybe we might listen to you prattle on about your daily lives.” I hated him from the moment that he opened up his mouth. It was time to whip this boy into shape.

  “There is no room for men like you. I sense that you are alone and I think that there might be a reason for that. Look into the mirror and tell me if you are truly respectful of women. If not, then there has to be an underlying reason and until you find it, relationships are never going to work out in the end.” Colleen didn’t give him a chance to make some kind rebuttal. She disconnected him, feeling a sense of relief from knowing that she had that power in the palm of her hand.

  She was starting to get into a groove, when the lights began to flicker and then outside her window, she saw a man standing there completely naked. She stared at the object between his legs and then suddenly he disappeared like he wasn’t even there to begin with. She shook her head and closed her eyes, wishing for that man to materialize once more. It was like he was there one second and in the blink of an eye gone the next.

  The entire room began to shake and then she had this terrible pain that shot up her arms and legs. She thought for sure that she was having some sort of heart attack. She was only 30, but it was not unheard of for women in stressful situations to feel it physically.

  Chapter 2

  Colleen woke up and felt like she had been on all weekend bender that had ended by landing in somebody’s bed that she didn’t know. She didn’t remember drinking, but sometimes liquor does get the best of her. When it’s flowing freely and she wants to lose herself, then she finds a reason to find the answers to life at the bottom of a bottle. Her head was pounding. Her eyes were trying to adjust to the lights that were now flashing in her eyes.

  “I would suggest that you settle down. These things go a lot better when the candidate is more cooperative. We’ll be sending in one of our best to make sure that you are compatible to his physical needs.” To the scientist on board this vessel, she was only a specimen to be used and then tossed away after they were done with her. “Normally, we would give you the treatment by a less evasive procedure. It’s unfortunate that your DNA makes it necessary to inject the main substance in a more unsavory course of action.”

  Colleen noticed that this man was also naked and was eerily similar to the one that was standing outside the window of her booth. She remembered the static on the radio and the way that the room seemed to gyrate on its axis like some kind of earthquake was happening below. “I want to say something, but I have no idea what’s going on around here. It feels like I am not here, but I know that I am. I must be on some sort of drug or maybe this has something to do with what happened at the radio station. What did he mean by injecting the substance and why does that give me this funny feeling in my gizzard?”

  The scientist opened up the door and North, a very prominent member of the royal Guardians was standing at the ready. He had gone down to survey the area and had found Colleen to be something like a draw. It was a magnetic force that made him stand there for a little too long, before being discovered by the woman in question. “I’m ready. Please leave us and let me do this quickly and with no fuss. The emperor is ready to receive her when we arrive back at our planet. We should be there shortly and by then I might have something of a surprise for him.” He was tall, a fierce competitor and somebody that was always on the battlefield first in any excursion.

  He weighed more than 250 pounds of pure muscle and that was before putting on his uniform. He felt a little out of sorts standing here with nothing on. It was meant to be sterile. They couldn’t allow anything to interfere in what needed to be done. This was a means to an end and he had already been subjected to one experiment by the emperor himself. His DNA was mixed with his own and being the most virile and potent of his species made him the perfect
tool to assist in getting this girl pregnant with one of their own.

  “I don’t know what’s going on around here, but I’m not going to be used like some kind of whore. I just got through telling the world that women deserve more than just to be used, as physical objects of pleasure.” Colleen tried to get up, but something was keeping her down. There was nothing there, but still she felt like something was strapped over her arms and her legs. “They should feel ashamed of themselves for treating anybody like they were some kind of cattle. I don’t condone animal cruelty in any way, but that is the way that life is for them. As the female of our species, we have evolved into productive members of society. I’m not going to say that I’m not enjoying the view. This man is built to make a woman scream for hours on end. I doubt that he will be able to connect the dots, because guys in his position usually only want their own pleasure and be damned the woman.

  “I’m not very happy about this myself. I find all of this distasteful and I’d rather that the emperor does his own dirty work. With that being said, I do have a duty to perform. They believe that I am better suited to performing this task and like you I feel like I’m being used. Let’s not make more of it than it has to be. I’m here, you’re here and I’m really just waiting to get this over with.” What north didn’t tell her was that he was enjoying the way that she squirmed. It wasn’t her fear, but the way that her legs slightly spread to allow him to see the object of his desire.

  He felt the shift in the floor and he knew that they had arrived at his home planet. Outside was perpetual night and seeing sunshine on another planet had given him hope for the future of his people. The emperor would use this new heir to lord over others. It was to make them think that the rule of the Guardians would always be prevalent in any situation.

  Colleen stared unabashedly at his crotch. It was a marvel of male technology at its best. The thing was not even hard and had to be at least 7 inches. She wondered what kind of stimulation he would need to rise and become known for his sexual prowess. “I would say that you should buy me dinner first, but I don’t think that you would understand what I meant by that.” He looked puzzled. She could almost taste the lobster that she had ordered on those given dates to make them think that they were going to get something. There were never any times that she was willing to take one for the team.

  Colleen was very selective in choosing a man, even though her instincts didn’t exactly pan out. She knew almost 20 minutes into the date, if the man was vying for love or just what was between her legs. Looking at North, she thought that maybe this man was different. He was licking his lips and that jerk below his waist had certainly opened up her eyes to the possibilities. She wanted to run over to him, to touch his skin and to see if there was any real comparison between her and him. There was no way that she could do that in her immobile state.

  “I really don’t have time for these guessing games. You and I both feel the same way, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t going to go through with it. You think that you have a choice, but you really don’t. I’m willing to let you out of your bonds, but only if you promise that you won’t become a problem. It would be better if you were willing, but don’t think that that will stop me from completing what my emperor has ordered me to do.” North had always known that those in high command would never sully their good name by getting nasty in this way. They would always turn that duty over to somebody that was lower on the actual echelon of command.

  “You can’t fool me. I’ve been around men long enough to know that you think one thing and do another. You say that this is a distasteful task, but the way that your cock is growing tells me that there is something that you’re not saying. You may, as well just put it out there, because we need to have some sort of respect and honesty.” The one thing that I hated more than anything was somebody holding a secret over my head. I would rather go limp and let him do his business. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I wasn’t going to do it with a blindfold on.”

  “You are the first species that has put up such a fuss. I’ve never had to deal with the likes of your kind and I hope that I never have to again. I am of a one track mind, but for you I will make this very rare exception. The emperor has given me his DNA and it swirls around in my own to combine into something more. The warrior spirit within me will be translated into the son that he will raise on his own.” He did not like the way that he was feeling. This was the first species that they had conducted this annual experiment on that had a mind of their own. He would change his physiology to mimic that of the one that he was with at the time. It was hard to concentrate for that long, but it was necessary not to scare the subject into running the other way. He didn’t have to do this for Colleen. Amazingly their bodies were similar, but not quite the same.

  “I really don’t care about anybody else that you’ve been with. If you intend to do this, then you will tell me what I want to know. You could probably take what you want, but you don’t seem like the kind of man that would be of that kind of mentality. You have a kind pair of eyes and I see in them that you’re a man that is struggling.” I didn’t want to sound like I was some kind of backseat therapist. I just saw a man that had seen too much. He was now dealing with the aftermath. He was supposedly dead inside, but to me there was a flicker of life waiting to get out.”

  Chapter 3

  “I’ve never felt this way before. Usually it’s just a matter of getting it done and then moving on to the next. For some reason, I want to know more about you. I want you to feel what it’s like to truly be sexed up. I’m sure that sounds crude, but your pleasure is supposed to be secondary. I don’t want that this time. I’m getting tired of playing second fiddle to those that think that they can do better than I can. If that were true, then they would be here and I wouldn’t have to contend with one lover after another.” Colleen felt the bonds lessening and then whatever was holding her down was no longer there.

  She did not see him press any sort of button, but maybe there was somebody watching this entire time. Having an audience really didn’t sound that delightful, but something inside of her wanted to put on a show that would be worth the price of admission. Colleen could have tried to escape, but she saw no visible door to speak of. Where the scientists had used to walk away from the scene had virtually disappeared with a seamless wall in place.

  “I would fight you, but I think that I would like to see if a species that isn’t my own is more willing to learn. I’ve had men think that they can put a smile on my face and not be able to even rise the temperature in the room. 5 minutes is not near enough to satisfy and that is the one lesson that I’m going to give you for free.” I was in a position to show this species that sex didn’t have to be some clinical experiment. It could be pleasurable, but only if you were willing to listen to your partner’s advice. It would mean that North would have to see past his own anger towards the emperor.” Colleen never thought that she would say something like this in her lifetime. She never believed that there was life outside of her own planet.

  “I admire that you are willing to entertain the idea of showing me something that I didn’t know before. To be honest, I’m a little put off by the very idea that I would enjoy something like that.” This was the one time that a species almost was the same, as his own. There were only subtle differences. The hair on his body had a bluish tinge, where hers was a plain black matte. “Every other species, we fight our natural urges. With you, I feel it’s necessary and even important to make it pleasurable for both of us. We’ve been pre conditioned to ignore those feelings that creep up in the middle of the night.” It must’ve been the animal sexuality that Colleen was projecting that made North think that there could be more than just an exchange of bodily fluids.

  “I would say that you were missing out on something, but I really don’t know for sure. I’ve heard my friends talk about this animal out of control sex, but I’ve never experienced it myself before. I’ve tried to find a man that will make
me feel like I was floating afterwards, but they never seem to measure up to expectations. I don’t see how I’m going to get away, so I may as well accept the fact that I’m here. If I’m going to do that, then we need to come to some sort of understanding. Nothing is to happen without my permission and if you try something that I don’t like it, I expect you to stop immediately. This is the only way that this is going to work for me.” “I would say that I don’t want to do this, but that’s not entirely the truth. I’m curious. I know that sometimes curiosity kills the cat, but for this one instead I don’t care. He is a specimen that is such a delicious treat that I just can’t prevent myself from taking a taste.”

  “I have no idea what this concept of love is. I do feel this connection towards you, but I think that that will only grow stronger.” He did not try to grab her like other subjects. He instead touched her gently and saw that her body was naturally responding to the stimulant of his fingertips. “I do love what I see and your breasts are a natural wonder that none of my females have in abundance. I don’t know why, but I find your form pleasing. I want to trace all of your curves.” He proved that by moving his fingers all over her body. She was lying there prone and allowing him to explore and loving every second of it.

  “This is better than I’ve ever had with any other man. They’re usually ready to get down to it with few moments of foreplay. I think that you could teach them a lesson on what it is to have a bit more restraint. I do enjoy that and it’s when you graze the inside of my thighs that makes me want more.” He unconsciously fluttering his tongue in her direction and Colleen had to stare with the wonder of what that would feel like inside of her. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for something like this. I hope that it was worth all the trial by error with the other guys.” She was a woman that did not shy away from the unknown. She may not have believed in extraterrestrial life, but it didn’t mean that she couldn’t turn her mind around to thinking differently.