He stopped. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “You’re right. I was alone. I just didn’t know how to stop.”
“You pick up the telephone”—he leaned in close, staring meaningfully into her eyes—”and you make a call. And the person on the other end says, ‘When are you arriving? I’ll pick you up.’”
“I know. It just felt so awkward. You’re all Logan’s friends.”
“Oh, my God! You’re Brian Ellis, aren’t you?”
Brian turned to the two middle-aged women, and his public persona kicked on. Suzi stepped back. He’d been about to say they were her friends, too. She should have known that. Jason and Marc were probably half out of their minds worrying. Or had been. The emails had stopped. Brian would have let them know when she called. No, Brian wasn’t in love with her. He was a very concerned friend. She just wished it was more.
One of the women gasped. “You’re Suzette Miranda Bazian.”
Suzi pasted on a smile. Naturally, they would recognize her, too. Hanging out with these guys had been a fantastic sales boost, and she’d been photographed with them often. “It’s very nice to meet you.”
“Oh, my God. I had to read one of your stories just because Brian liked it. It was so good.” The other woman pressed her hands over her heart. “I bought an e-reader so I could read them all.”
“I was so sorry when you broke up with Logan Fitzpatrick. That must have been so awful. Breaking up is so hard anyway, and having to do it in public like that?” The first woman sighed, clenching her hands together like she wanted to throw her arms around Suzi. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.”
The other woman glanced from Suzi to Brian. “Are you dating? I always thought you looked so good together. Every time I saw you together, you just looked so natural. Can I have a picture of the two of you?”
Suzi positioned herself next to Brian. He did his fan photo-pose, one arm around her shoulders, slouching toward her with his head tipped in her direction. Of course, she had to admit she was doing what she always did in photos with fans, too. Standing straight, hips twisted just a bit to make her appear thinner, head tilted toward him. She remembered a photographer friend taking pictures one day in college and snapping at her, “For chrissakes, Suzi, be in the moment. This is supposed to be fun.”
She was in homey little Potterville with someone who cared deeply about her. Someone she had always been able to trust. And these people, these total strangers, cared about her, too.
The flash popped in her eyes. Suzi blinked so she could see to autograph the slips of paper the women produced. As she wrote her name under Brian’s, she imagined the women would frame their picture together with the autographs and tell people they once went on vacation in Potterville, West Virginia and bumped into Brian Ellis and Suzette Miranda Bazian walking down the street.
“Can you send me a copy of that shot?” Suzi asked.
“You want me to send my picture of the two of you?” The woman’s eyes were so round Suzi was afraid she’d go into shock.
“If you wouldn’t mind. Just go to my website and click contact me. I think my fans might like to see a recent picture.” Suzi smiled.
The women giggled and said their goodbyes.
“You ready to go?” Brian asked.
“You suggested coming out tonight.”
“I thought it would please you.”
“It did.” Suzi leaned against him, wrapping her arm around his waist. Too bad he wasn’t in love with her. Every moment with him was so easy. So natural. But he wasn’t in love with her. He couldn’t be. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He opened the truck door for her and waited while she climbed in.
“So why did you ask for that picture?” Brian asked when he climbed in the driver’s seat.
“The picture? Oh, I was trying an experiment when she took it.”
“What was that?”
“A friend of mine once yelled at me to be in the moment when she took my picture. I was wondering if it would work now. I was thinking about how exciting this must be for them to come here on vacation and bump into the two of us.”
“You know a bunch of people who come to Potterville are hoping to run into somebody from Touchstone.”
Suzi shrugged. “That doesn’t mean they weren’t excited when it happened.” She peered at him. The woman on the street had said they looked good together, echoing what Ida had said. In fact, most of the comments on the photos of the two of them together were about how nice a couple they made. Maybe in all those pictures, she’d been more in the moment than she’d realized. Maybe he had been, too. What if, when all those pictures were snapped, he’d been in the moment thinking how happy he was to be standing beside someone he loved? His message was mixed, not negative. Mixed enough to be positive.
Brian turned off the main road onto the long driveway up the mountain, and she turned sideways to study him, cradling the tartlets in her lap, and trying to decide how much of a gamble she wanted to take with this friendship.
“What?”
“You said everybody felt bad when I left Logan.”
“Everybody did.”
“But you knew I wasn’t alone. I left the party with Brett.”
Brian rolled his eyes. “Brett.”
“Why do you say it like that?”
“Well, he’s Brett. He’s famous for going through women like toilet paper. And you were alone with him.”
“I’m a consenting adult.”
Brian either blushed or the light got strange all of a sudden. Nothing else in the truck had such an odd coloring so he must be blushing over the fact she’d been alone with a well-known sex fiend. Brian pulled around the house to the garage.
“Well, it was just weird to think of you with Cherney. He’s…”
“A man?”
“There’s that.” Brian shut off the truck. “Why all the questions?”
“There’s a shortage of answers.” Suzi felt as if she was sitting on a crate full of live questions, hissing and growling, demanding to be fed. “Why did you leave Bonnie so soon after you met me? Why then?”
“We talked about it. You gave me some ideas on how to save my marriage. They didn’t work so I threw in the towel.”
She remembered sitting beside him in the warm sun, wanting nothing more than to lean forward and press her lips to his. “Marc told me things had been bad between you and Bonnie for five or six years before you divorced her. He said they all thought you’d never leave her.”
“There were a lot of reasons.”
Suzi clutched the container of tarts, making it crackle. “Was one of them me?”
Brian opened his mouth to speak. Then he closed it. The garage light cast weird shadows across his face. If she, Ida, and Paul, were wrong, it would be embarrassing, but the light made it hard to tell if his mouth had curled into a frown or not. Suzi held her breath. She didn’t want to be wrong. She wanted, needed, to be right.
He reached over, slipping his hand behind her neck, and pulled her closer, pressing his lips to hers. With a heavy sigh, he drew her lower lip between his. Suzi unsnapped her seatbelt and put the tartlets on the dash so she could reach for him. Brian abandoned her lip to invade her mouth. He stroked his hand down her waist, sending a hot shower of sparks along her nerves. Clutching his shirt, she moaned.
Abruptly he pulled back. “Is that a good enough answer?” he asked.
Chapter 17
Suzi nodded, too breathless to speak for the moment. Her whole body trembled. Every time she was near him, she’d sensed some tension, but she’d always thought it was only hers. “When?”
“I wanted you the moment I saw your picture.” He stroked her cheek with the backs of his long fingers. “Then I met you, and I fell in love with you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I knew it would just upset you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
&
nbsp; “But I’ve been here for a week.” Suzi cupped his jaw, a bristle of whiskers scratching her palm. All week long, she’d been moping around, wondering why he couldn’t fall in love with her the way she’d fallen in love with him. Longer than that. Every time Logan hurt her, her first thought always had been Brian would never do anything like that. “Weren’t you going to say anything?”
“I didn’t want to pressure you. I wasn’t sure you were ready.” He put his hand over hers. “It drove me crazy you were out there alone, and I didn’t know where or who with. I was afraid you’d find another man before I got a chance.”
Suzi bit her lip, studying his blue eyes. He’d never once miscued her. Trusting him was automatic. “I think I love you.”
“Thank God, because I’ve been in love with you for years.” He kissed her again, light and sweet. “Can we finish this conversation inside? The car’s not especially comfortable.”
Suzi drew away and climbed out. Her legs still worked. That was a relief. Meeting him at the garage door, she ran her hands up his arms until they rested on his shoulders. Distantly, she heard thunder. A storm coming in over the mountain. “So what do we do now?”
“I’m letting you lead. You’ve been hurt, and I don’t want to add to it.” He rested his hands on her hips. “I also don’t want to be your rebound guy. I’ve waited a long time for you. I don’t want to lose you by rushing now.”
Suzi twisted a lock of his hair around her finger. He was letting her lead. If she told him she wanted to sleep alone tonight, he would let her go without pressure. For her, the weight of his hands on her hips was pressure enough. Another volley of thunder shook the house. “Make love to me.”
“Your place or mine?” He ran his fingers through her hair.
“Yours. Tonight, I’ll let you have home court advantage.”
He laughed. “I’ll make sure the windows are closed and meet you upstairs.”
Suzi hurried up to the guest room, her body sizzling with desire. Life with Logan had included sex at least once a day when he was home. Usually more often, but since she left him, she’d been solo. She missed regular, heated contact. The assurance she was loved and wanted. Based on how she’d always felt with Brian, sex would make her feel more loved and wanted than she ever had before.
Brian had thrown the covers over the bed this morning so she folded down the thin blankets. This was the first time she’d been in this room. There hadn’t been any reason. She had always stayed in the guest cabin when she visited here with Logan. Tomorrow, they could exorcize the cabin.
Through the windows, she watched the storm coming over the mountain. Black clouds and flicking tongues of lightning blotted out the sunset.
“Big storm.” He stood in the bedroom door with his head tilted, watching her. “Are you afraid of thunder?”
“No. Are you?”
“Not in the least.” He crossed the room and ran his finger around her collar. “You’re still dressed.”
“I thought you might like to do the honors.” Her skin tingled in anticipation.
“That was nice of you.” Leaning down to kiss her, he pulled up her shirt.
So many concerts she had been backstage when he came off shirtless, or at least unbuttoned. So many times she had straightened his collar or adjusted his jacket before he went on or had his picture taken. Her palms slid over his skin.
“Hmmm, nice.” He unhooked her bra and brushed it off her shoulders, kissing her bare shoulder. His tongue flicked against her skin.
“I thought you hated me at first. I thought you were disappointed because I wasn’t what you thought I’d be.” Suzi stripped his shirt off him.
Brian traced her nipple with his thumb, making her shiver. “You weren’t. You were a lot more. So bright and cheerful. I didn’t know how to talk to you.”
Suzi dragged her lips across his chest. He tasted divine. Warm and tangy. She found his nipple with her tongue. The tight, hard bud rolled along her tongue as her fingers opened his jeans.
Brian tipped her face up to capture her mouth. When she succeeded in getting her hand around his member, a feral growl welled up from his chest, and he clutched her tighter. “Angel,” he murmured against her mouth, pushing her back onto the bed.
But instead of climbing on top of her, he turned to the table and kicked off his jeans as he searched for something.
“What are you looking for?”
“Condoms.” He threw a book over his shoulder and then a couple of picks and a crumbled piece of paper. “Shit. I don’t have any.”
Suzi wiggled out of her panties and tossed them to one side. “Don’t worry about it. I’m safe. I was tested after I left Logan, and I haven’t been with anyone since.”
He pulled out the drawer and dumped it out. “Aren’t you worried about me?” he asked, sifting through the mess on the floor.
“I trust you.”
He turned to her, amazement blooming on his face. “You trust me?”
“You told me about the Paternity Suit Insurance Bowl in Sandy’s office, and you have yourself tested once a year when you get a physical.” Suzi rolled onto her side. “Besides, you’re hunting for protection like it’s a deal breaker. I know you, and I trust you.”
He shuddered as if that was the most erotic thing she could have said. He pressed her hand to his lips. “Are you sure?”
Suzi slid closer to him so she could wrap her hand behind his neck. “I trust you. I’ve never trusted anyone the way I trust you.”
Brian crawled onto the bed. “Angel,” he whispered, kissing her fingers and then her cheeks.
Suzi ran her hands down his back, feeling the fine muscles under his skin. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you. The moment I met you, I knew I could trust you.”
“My angel. You drive me wild.” He sank into her.
Suzi moaned. The friction of their skin brought tears to her eyes. Being touched, held. His long, easy strokes filling her. He caught her earlobe between his lips. She gasped. He was so gentle. His hands touched her so carefully. The sweet sensation of his breath on her skin.
This man had always loved her. From that first moment when she’d shaken his hand. His touch had been gentle then, too. As if he knew he could crush her if he wasn’t careful. Even when things got out of hand, when tempers ran high, he’d been aware of her tolerance level. The only time he’d pushed her had been England right when his divorce came through.
Every moment they had been together led them here.
Thunder exploded over the house, rattling the windows. The white flash of lightning filled the room. A sweet wash of joy overflowed inside her, and she cried out. “Brian, I love you.”
He shuddered and groaned before sagging to one side of her. “Beautiful Suzi. I love you too,” he murmured.
Rain lashed the window. Suzi curled against him, resting her head on his chest. Under her ear, his heart pounded. He seemed relaxed and well pleased. When she moved to lie beside him, his arm coiled around her shoulders.
But he wasn’t saying anything. Logan always talked after sex. He always told her how good she made him feel. How much he loved being with her.
Brian snuggled her closer, kissing the top of her head. Still not saying anything.
The whole time she’d known him, they’d talked about everything. Almost everything. Not this. But everything else. And now—now he wasn’t saying anything. What if she wasn’t enough? Or was too much? Or was younger than he thought? Or he’d suddenly realized she made a better friend than lover? Or he was just horny, and now that he was done, he wanted her to go away?
Suzi blinked, fighting back a rush of tears. What if she’d just ruined one of the friendships she treasured most because she was rebounding and he was horny? How was she supposed to face him? He said he’d always loved her, but that could have been a line.
Or he might have made love to her just to make her feel better. It was just the kind of thing Brian would do.
Going along with the pressure from Ida and Paul and the fans.
A sob hitched in her throat.
“Angel? Are you crying?” He turned her onto her back. “What’s the matter? Did I hurt you?”
Suzi squeezed her eyes closed, forcing tears out the sides. She shook her head, hating herself for crying. The cloying manipulation of it sickened her. It felt too much as if she was taking advantage of Brian’s sweet nature, twisting a one-night stand into something permanent.
“Then what’s wrong? Come on, Angel. Talk to me.” Brian stroked her cheek, and his gentle touch threatened to bring on another sob. Thunder rattled the windows again. “Are you afraid of the storm?” he asked lightly.
Suzi shook her head. She tried to force air into her lungs, but couldn’t seem to get any.
He laid his head on the pillow beside her, nuzzling her cheek. “Tell me, Angel. Whatever it is, I can take it. I’m a big boy. Did making love to me make you realize how much you miss Logan?”
Suzi let out a sharp breath. “No.”
“Then what’s making you cry?”
Suzi turned to him. They were nose to nose. His eyes were close enough she could make out the uncertainty in them. The tone might have been light, but the question was real. “Was it…? It was okay for you?”
“It was fantastic, Angel. More than I’d ever hoped for.” He rested his hand on her stomach. It fluttered at his touch. “Were you worried?”
“You don’t think it was a mistake?”
“Do you think it was a mistake?”
“I…” Suzi bit her lip. “You didn’t have to do this to make me feel better.”
“I thought we were doing it to make both of us feel better.” Brian stroked her cheek. “Suzi, I love you. What’s going on in your pretty little head?”
Let Me Be the One Page 17