by Vicki Weavil
“Not sure I want to.” I pad over to the microstove and lean into his back, wrapping my arms around his waist.
“Careful, chica. Don’t want to splatter,” he says, but reaches up one hand to pat my arm.
“Sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” Dad lays down his plastic spoon and turns off the burner with a wave of his hand. “Want some eggs?”
“No thanks.” I release him and step back.
He turns around, allowing the eggs to congeal in the pan. His brown eyes study me with the intensity he uses to examine engineering diagrams. “Now—what’s this I hear about Kam traveling on the Ada? You know what’s up with that?”
“Captain Patel made a deal with him or something. He has to replace Calla … ” I take a breath. “Anyway, he’ll be another pair of hands. And it’s better than him staying here with everyone watching him all the time.”
“Makes sense. Good of Patel to offer.” Surprisingly, there’s no trace of rancor in Dad’s voice. “Of course it’ll be rough work, but it is probably better if Kam stays off Eco for a while. The rest of his family, and the others who helped them, are going to be under surveillance for some time.”
“I imagine so.” I fiddle with my braid. “I really don’t want to go, Papa. Not sure what there is to say.”
“You’ll regret it later if you don’t.”
“Did you?”
“Talk to her? Yes, briefly. There wasn’t much to say that hadn’t already been said. I understand why she’s leaving, and I can deal with it. It’s been a long time coming and now that it’s here … ” he shrugs, “it’s actually something of a relief. But, chica, I’m not her daughter.”
I draw small circles with the tip of my boot. “All right, I’ll go. For you.” I stand on tiptoe to plant a swift kiss on his cheek.
“Gracias, mi hija.” Dad turns back to the skillet. “I’d better eat this before it gets cold.” He examines the eggs without making any move to scoop them onto his plate.
I head for the door, pausing before I step into the hall. I catch Dad still staring at the skillet. “You’re really okay?”
“Sure,” he replies, with a smile. A sad smile, but still … “It’s just going to be different, you know?”
“New,” I tell him. “It’s going to be new. A brand new life.”
This time I receive a real smile.
***
My steps slow as I approach the lab. I know my mother’s disappointed in my decision to remain on Eco. Just like I’m hurt by her decision to leave—especially after I said I wouldn’t accompany her.
Mom’s standing in the middle of the room, the filtered light creating a nimbus about her golden hair. All her things have been cleared away, and I realize she’s already moved her belongings to the Augusta Ada and only returned to speak with me.
To tell me goodbye.
“Still time to change your mind,” she says, as I walk toward her.
A few feet separate us. Soon it will be millions upon millions of miles. Facing her, it occurs to me how young she looks. She has many years ahead of her—plenty of time to rebuild her life, to recreate herself. To become whatever it is she wants to be.
I straighten to my full height and meet her determined gaze. “I’m staying—for now. I have things I need to do before I can think of leaving.”
“And I’m leaving—for now.” Her lovely lips curve into a smile. “I won’t say forever, because that’s not how things work. Hope you’ve learned that.”
“I have. One thing you’ve taught me.”
The smile leaves her eyes. “A good lesson. Nothing is forever, my dear. Change and adapt if you want to survive.”
“And if I want to do more than that?”
My mother closes the gap between us in two strides. “Then you must find what matters to you and pursue it, whatever the obstacles.” She presses her cool hand against my cheek. “You must know yourself and what you want.”
I gaze into her hazel eyes. They reflect, as always, her fierce will, but something else as well. It might be pride. It might even be love.
“That’s my plan.” I capture her falling hand and close my fingers around it. “I hope you find that, Mama, for yourself. With Captain Patel, traveling, or whatever.”
She tilts her head and examines me, her eyes bright and beautiful as those of Eco’s lizards. “I will try. I’ve never really known exactly what I wanted, you see, so that’s the first step.” She swings our clasped hands. “Don’t be shocked if I don’t stay with Connor, though. Not really sure about that yet. Early days.”
I think about Raid and Dace. “I won’t be shocked. You will follow through on divorcing Dad, I hope? Not right to keep him hanging on.”
“I will.” She pulls her hand from mine and crosses her arms across her chest. “When did you become so grown-up? I expected you to fight to keep us together.”
“When you weren’t looking.” Despite my best intentions, I can’t resist a little jab.
A sound suspiciously like a chuckle escapes her lips. “Oh, you’ll do just fine, Ann.” Her bright expression fades. “Will you answer, if I call you?”
“Of course,” I say. “If you’re paying.”
She laughs out loud and pulls me into an unexpected embrace. “Ann Cooper Solano, you will definitely be just fine.”
I hug her and step back, out of her arms. “Wrong name if you’re planning to holo me, Mom. It’s Anna-Maria Solano.”
She looks me up and down. “Very well.” As she walks past me, heading for the door, she allows her fingers to graze my bare arm. “Are you coming to see us off?”
“No. I already said goodbye to Dace. And I guess this is our goodbye.”
Mom pauses in the doorway. “A temporary farewell. I expect to meet up with you soon, my dear, in space or elsewhere.”
“Maybe on Earth, if Emie and I achieve our goals.”
“Now that is something I would happily put credits on,” says my mother. She leaves the room without looking back.
A temporary farewell. Just like my goodbye to Dace. Because, if I’ve learned anything from my very difficult, very brilliant mother, it’s that you can never predict what the next moment might bring.
***
Grandmother is in the greenhouse. I see her dark head moving behind a screen of tangled sweet potato vines.
“The ship just took off,” I call out as I make way down the aisle to her side.
“I heard it. Not deaf yet.” She continues clipping tendrils of vine to the metal grid.
“Mom’s gone.”
“And your friend?” Grandmother looks over at me, her dark eyes glittering like the silver-flecked stone of the cavern.
“Yes, but it’s not forever. I mean, for either of them. I’ll see them again.”
“Of course.” Grandmother straightens, pressing her fist into the small of her back. “There’ll come a day when I can’t do this anymore. You planning to stick around to help out, or should I be training someone else?”
I want to lie, but know there’s no point. “You might want to find a few additional kids to train. I’ll be here for a few years yet, but I don’t know about after that.”
“Going to study at the virtual u, are you?”
“Yes. General stuff, and then Law. If I can.”
Grandmother looks me up and down. “You can do anything you put your mind to, I expect. So that’s that.” A slow smile spreads across her face. “I figured you’d come to it eventually. The thing you’d put all your heart and soul into. Knew it wouldn’t be this.” She waves one hand, indicating the rows of plants.
“It is very important, what you do.”
“Sure, but it isn’t for you. Bien. We all have our own paths.”
I fiddle with the leaves on one of the vines. “Like Mom. She has her own path too.”
“Took her awhile to decide. Best if you don’t do that, nieta. Or at least, don’t invol
ve too many other people until you’re sure.”
That brings up the other thing on my mind. “Abuelita,” I say, leaning against one of the building supports in what I hope is a nonchalant pose, “how do you know if you’re sure? Like in relationships, for instance.”
Grandmother wipes her hands on her work apron before turning to face me. “Like whether you should be dating Raid or that Keeling boy, you mean?”
There’s no fooling her. I don’t know why I even try. “Yes. I like them both, you see. I don’t know what to do about that.”
“Why do you have to do anything?”
“Well, I mean—sometimes I think I want to be with Raid, but then when I’m with Dace … ”
Grandmother moves close to me, until we’re standing toe-to-toe. “Anna-Maria, how old are you?”
“Seventeen. You know that.”
A little smile plays about her lips. “Yes, seventeen. Which means you have so much time to figure all this out. So much time. Years and years.” She takes hold of one of my hands. “As long as you’re honest and don’t make promises you can’t keep, why do you have to choose?”
“I don’t know. I thought … ” I stare at my boots.
Grandmother tips up my chin with one finger, forcing me to look into her eyes. “You are so young, nieta. With so much yet to learn, to experience. Now is not the time to decide. Now is the time to discover.”
I stare at her as those words register and I realize—as usual—she’s right. I don’t have to choose now. I can love more than one person, as long as I don’t promise them things like forever. If I’m fair. If I always tell them the truth.
If I’m willing to lose them if they find their “forever” before I’m ready to choose mine.
“Any more work that needs doing around here?” I push myself away from the support and roll up my sleeves.
Grandmother’s face expresses her approval better than anyone else’s words. “There’s always work that needs doing around here. Come on, let’s get to it. No time like the present.”
Raid is waiting with two solar bikes when I close up the greenhouse.
“We going somewhere?” I consider the dirt caked under my fingernails. I’m sure I look a mess—sweaty and smudged with nutrient fluid mixed with earth, my hair springing free of my braid and curling around my face.
It doesn’t matter, though. This is me.
And this is Raid, who still sports a greenish discoloration around one temple and eye. “Thought we might head out to check on the Selk,” he says, tossing me a helmet. “Told you I found a new entrance to the cavern system. Much easier access.”
“Yes, you told me.” I grab one of the bikes. “I was actually going to ask about that. But do we have time to get there and back before dark and still spend time with the Selk?”
Climbing astride the bike, Raid eyes me with interest. “If we put on some speed.”
“A race?” I fasten my helmet, leaving the visor up. Thinking of racing reminds me of Dace and how he’s rocketing away from Eco on the Augusta Ada. “Are you up for that?”
“Are you kidding?” Race flashes a grin. “Now, to make it more fun, how ’bout a little wager?”
“What kind?” I narrow my eyes.
“Oh, nothing bad.” Raid pops on his helmet and adjusts the strap. “Winner just gets to ask one favor, that’s all. That must be granted,” he adds, flipping down his visor and taking off.
I rev my engine and speed after him. The problem is he knows the way and I don’t. So of course he’s bound to win.
Just like he planned.
After we race over the hard, dusty ground for some time, my bike almost parallel to his, he pulls away in a wide spin, stopping by a circle of low rocks. “We’re here,” he says, after yanking off his helmet. “And I won.”
“Hardly fair and square.” I dismount and prop my bike with the kickstand. Hanging my helmet over the handlebars, I look around but see nothing that appears to be the entrance to a cave. “Where the hell are we? There’re no rock hills nearby.”
Raid smiles and motions for me to move closer to him. I walk forward until he throws out an arm to halt my progress.
“Optical illusion,” he says. “We’ve been traveling uphill so slowly, you didn’t notice the incline.” He takes my hand and walks me forward a few steps.
I’m staring down into an open well, similar to the one Dace and I found. This one is wider, with a gently inclined path that leads to a vegetation-covered pool.
“See that shadow?” Raid leads me down the path, still holding my hand. “That’s the entrance to another underground lake. Just beyond the curve of the passage.”
As we make our way down, I note the varied types of vegetation growing along the edge of the pool. More research for Dace. Or maybe, for my grandmother. I wonder if I can convince her to venture out into the wilderness to examine these plants.
“This way,” says Raid, pulling me into the darkness of the passageway.
He’s prepared, switching on a solar light he brought along. We only have to walk a few paces in the dark, though, before we step into a cavern.
This one boasts a wide, perfectly round skylight that rises above the lake like a dome. It must open directly to the surface.
“Have to be careful in the future.” Raid voices the thought running through my head. “Now we know some openings aren’t marked by any rock piles.”
“Good idea.” I reply automatically, distracted by the sheer size of this cavern and the width of the lake it encloses. It’s so large that I have to readjust my thinking. This is a lake—the other caves we’ve visited hold ponds. Attached to one side wall, a spur of rock juts into the middle of the lake like a stone finger. Several clusters of Selk lounge on this rock peninsula, while others frolic in the water.
“Come swim with me.” Raid holds out his hands.
“What about the wager?”
“This is it. This is what I want.” Raid grins. “What’d you think I’d ask for?”
I shake my head. “Not sure.” Of course, I thought he’d demand a kiss, at the very least. Swimming with the Selk never crossed my mind.
“You have a very dirty mind, Ann. Now—strip.”
I spare one thought for what I’m wearing under my jeans and jacket: a dark blue T-shirt and black underpants. I suppose that will do. I sit on a nearby rock ledge to pull off my boots and socks.
“Slow-poke.” Raid, already stripped down to his boxers and a T-shirt, darts over and reaches for my legs. “We don’t have all day,” he says, yanking off my jeans.
“Wait up,” I say, but Raid has already dashed to the lake and slid into its clear water. I walk to the edge and stare down, calculating the depth. Good enough.
Before Raid realizes what I’m doing, I jump in, grabbing my knees to my chest to create a great splash.
“Hey!” He sputters as I surface and swim up to face him. “Where’d you learn that?”
“From those old films my other grandmother brought to Eco. It’s called a cannonball, by the way.”
“Good term for it.” Raid reaches for me.
Hah, I see his game. Now he’ll try to kiss me.
But no. “Race you to those rocks,” he says, and takes off, all flashing arms and kicking legs.
I chase after him and we reach the rock peninsula at the same time. Clinging to an outcropping of stone, we turn to each other, breathing hard.
We lean in at the same moment. This kiss tastes tangy, like the mineral-laced water lapping silkily about us. Raid uses his free hand to pull me closer. Soaked as we are, our clothing molds to us, and I feel we’re pressed skin upon skin all along the length of our bodies. Raid groans softly, and I wrap my buoyant legs, light as flower petals, around his waist.
“Dangerous,” he whispers in my ear.
At that moment, something butts against my back. I pull away from Raid and look over my shoulder—into the face of one of the Selk.
>
“Oh, hell,” says Raid, with a strangled laugh. “Chaperones.”
Several more Selk swim up, surrounding us in a wide arc. Their bright brown eyes survey us with comical solemnity.
Friends. Above.
I’m prepared for the mental onslaught now. I nod and send my own greeting forward. Yes, friends. Humans. From above.
The Selk use their tails to propel themselves backward, still keeping their eyes fixed on us.
Play.
I cast a surprised glance at Raid. “Did you hear that? They said … ”
“Play,” Raid finishes. He stares at me, his mouth twitching.
I giggle. “Play. They want to play.”
“So—you up for it?”
I nod and we both swim out into the circle of Selk.
We play—diving and gliding underwater, swimming in circles and figure eights as the Selk leap and spin around us. After a while the Selk drift away, some scrambling onto the rock promontory to rest, and some gliding off toward the other side of the lake.
Raid and I swim to the shore. Pulling ourselves onto the bank, we sit in silence for some time, holding hands as we watch the water creatures move about the lake.
When we rise to our feet I stride over to my other clothes, discarded in a darker spot of the cavern. I slip on my T-shirt, then hop as I tug the jeans up each leg.
Raid watches this procedure, amusement sparkling in his dark eyes. “I’d be glad to help, you know.”
“I can do it,” I say, and slip and fall on my butt.
Raid rushes to me, but I wave him away. “I’m fine. Just … ” I press my hand against the stone floor of the cavern to push myself up. Something digs into my palm. “Mierda, what’s this? Smooth for a rock.” My fingers close over the object.