by Aya Walksfar
Seated in the corner of the beige leather couch, Serena glanced up when the door whispered closed. As I started across the living room, she set the papers she had been reading on the wood coffee table in front of her and then looked up at me, one brow cocked in question. My heart lurched in my chest.
For a moment, my forward progress toward the chair across from the couch stuttered to a halt. My body began to pivot toward Serena. Abruptly, I arrested the motion and, with effort, scuffed over to the chair on the far side of the coffee table. Legs wobbly, I gratefully sank into the soft leather. Head hanging, hands braced on my thighs, I felt as if I faced my death. To be honest, it was death that I faced--death of my dreams and my hopes and the love that I had thought was mine. I raised my eyes to meet hers. “We need to talk.”
Wariness flashed across her smooth features, but she gave an abbreviated nod. “As you wish.”
Sadness rose up in my throat and I choked on the words I had to say. I swallowed hard several times before I could speak. Even then, each word felt like the drumbeat of defeat. “I thought I could handle our arrangement, Serena. I really did. I thought I could give you the space and the time you seemed to need.”
I closed my eyes against the pain. “Nikki helped me to see that I was actually just waiting for you to change, to become....more like me.” My eyes popped open and the words rushed out. “I can’t do this.” Tears blurred my vision. I blinked them away. The words tasted bitter as bile on my tongue. “I can’t be in a relationship where I'm not...enough; where I can never be enough.”
Serena sank into vampire stillness, not even blinking as she stared at me. After what felt like an eternity, she finally spoke in a level, but distant voice. “Are you saying that you desire to leave our relationship, Alexis?”
My head wagged slowly side to side. “It’s not what I want, Serena.”
Head cocked, her voice reflected no emotions whatsoever. “You are the one speaking; the one saying she can’t be in this relationship.” Her eyes never left my face.
Lunging to my feet, I paced with short, jerky strides between the chair and the fireplace on the far side of the room. “Goddess damn it, Serena! I may be voicing our problem but I am not the one who requires other women to be fulfilled.” Hands fisted at my sides, I swung around and glared at my lover. Pain ripped through my chest like sharp claws.
“Alexis, I'm a vampire. You knew that when you entered this relationship. The rule in my domain is that a vampire does not partake of blood and lust at the same time with the same human. There is simply too great of a risk involved.”
“Enthrallment...” I spit out the damnable word, but Serena interrupted by holding up a slender hand.
“Please, you know that it isn’t simply enthrallment that I worry about, though I still do not trust the words of one scroll against the teachings of many over the course of hundreds of years. There is also the risk that intense sexual lust will trigger uncontrolled bloodlust. If there is no other person present to seek help, the donor might be drained before the vampire regains control of her hungers.”
The very reasonableness of Serena’s voice and arguments inflamed the hurt. As often happened, the hurt twisted into anger on its way out. Nostrils flared, eyes wide, I faced Serena. “I'm human, Serena! You knew that when we entered this relationship. I'm not a vampire like Gregory, nor am I a mindless blood donor constantly seeking a vampire high! So, no, I can’t handle this kind of relationship. I thought I could. I wanted...I needed to be able to do this. But I can’t. I want to be enough.”
My hands clenched so tightly that my fingers ached. Tears burned, but I refused to let them fall. I would not be the kind of woman who begged. In a soft voice, I whispered, “I just wanted to be enough.” Stumbling from the room, I closed the door softly behind me.
****
As the sky faded from black to gray, Nikki stepped out of the edge of the woods and made her way over to the flat rock where I sat. She held out a stainless steel travel mug. I gratefully accepted it and sipped the hot bitter brew as my lieutenant eased down on the rock next to me and then I shifted my focus back toward the coming dawn.
Wrapped in my own thoughts, I silently drank the coffee while the sky changed from charcoal gray to washed-out blue.
Finally, she stood and dusted off the seat of her jeans. “Ri arrived a few minutes ago.”
I tossed back the rest of the coffee and stood up. “That young woman doesn’t let any grass grow under her feet.”
As we headed for the house, Nikki shrugged. “Actually, I think she likes Wanton Sally Mae’s cooking. Where in the world does she put the food?” The lieutenant shook her head in awe, but probably more in admiration. “If I ate like she does, I’d be the size of a Volkswagen car.”
When I failed to respond as I normally would with some smartass crack, Nikki touched me lightly on the shoulder. “Captain, are you going to be all right?”
A short, bitter laugh burst out. “Yeah, I'm going to be fine. Just peachy.” Lengthening my stride, I pulled ahead of my friend.
Automatically, I searched for Serena as I stepped into the kitchen. When I didn’t see her, worry warred with relief. Was she all right? Regardless of our relationship issues, we needed to work together. Could we do that?
Resolutely, I shoved those nagging worries aside as I piled eggs, hash browns, bacon, and pancakes on my plate. When I slid into the seat at the head of the big plank table, Ri gave me a quick nod between bites of pancake.
By the time I finished eating, a shy ray of sunlight filtered in through the kitchen window. I turned to Nikki. “Find Gregory and Serena and ask them when they want to meet with Ri.”
Minutes later Nikki returned. “First Councilwoman said that Gregory left yesterday afternoon to check on one of the Families who haven’t checked in this week, but she’ll meet with us and Ri in her office in ten minutes.”
Serena was seated at the desk, her hands primly folded on top. She regally inclined her head as Nikki, Ri and I entered. “Please, bring the chairs closer and have a seat.”
We grabbed chairs and dragged them in front of the desk. Nikki shot me a questioning look. I gave a slow blink of my eyes and a minuscule shake of my head. I had no idea why Serena was acting so....distant. Even her voice felt like a blast of Arctic air.
Turning her cool gaze on Ri, she asked, “What was the result of your meeting with your elders?”
Ri fidgeted in her seat before she raised her eyes. Something on Serena’s face—maybe the remoteness in her eyes—caused Ri to sit up straighter in her chair and to respond formally. “Elder Coahoma agreed to meet with one of you, First Councilwoman Longer—either you or Gregory or Alexis. No Guardians or Warriors are to accompany whoever attends the meeting. I am assigned as your escort.”
A frown gathered furrows across my forehead. “Surely Elder Coahoma realizes that Serena does not travel alone, no more than we would expect the Elder to travel alone.”
Ri gave an uneasy shrug. “I am sure she is aware of that. She said she doesn’t expect the First Councilwoman to attend this preliminary meeting. You or Gregory could speak for her and then if things progress, she would have a formal meeting with the First Councilwoman.”
I slammed a fist on the desktop. “Damn it! Is she just jerking us around, or does she really want to explore the possibility of joining forces? Undoubtedly, she can see the advantages.”
Anxiety radiated from Ri as she scooted to the edge of her chair and twisted to face me. Pleading shone in her dark gaze. “I’m sure she realizes we need to join forces, but there are other panthers who have lost relatives to vampires and they’re against having any meeting at all.” She swiveled back around toward Serena. “Please, First Councilwoman, don’t let these demands keep a meeting from happening. Our Peoples need each other.”
With a skeptical look, Serena lifted one brow, but she didn’t speak.
I leaned against the chair and propped my elbows on the arms. Tapping the pads of my fingers toge
ther, I considered Ri’s words. “So this is some kind of test to see if we’ll meet her more than halfway.” It wasn’t a question and Ri didn’t bother trying to confirm or deny it. “She does realize that Serena prohibits her People from preying on Supernaturals, doesn’t she?”
Ri ducked her head. “Yeah, she does.”
I tossed my hands in the air and let them fall to the chair arms. “If she knows Serena’s not out to suck panther blood, why this test? Why place Serena in a position no sane leader would accept? Would Elder Coahoma meet with vampires without at least a couple of her own guards?”
Nikki hunched forward on her chair and cleared her throat. “It’s the history, Captain. You can’t erase years of distrust,” she snapped her fingers, “just like that. Besides, Ri’s elder may not think the First Councilwoman is sucking panther blood, but some vampire sure is. When you think about it, all she’s asking is for a show of good faith. She’s not really asking the First Councilwoman to show up; just someone high-ranking enough to show respect and serious intent.”
Ri chewed at her thumbnail. It brought home to me that she was barely out of her teens, if that. What a hella situation to be placed in—go between for a powerful vampire and a just-as-powerful werepanther. Shoulders hunched, she looked toward Serena. “Please, First Councilwoman, let Gregory or Alexis attend this meeting. I...I’m afraid of what’s going to happen if we don’t all fight these rogues together.”
“I’d really envisioned Serena, Gregory and I--all three of us--attending that meeting.” I crossed my leg over my knee as I studied Serena. “By the way, where did Gregory take off to and why didn’t he tell me he was going?”
Serena gave a dainty lift of her shoulders. “He failed to apprise me of which Family he chose to inspect. I thought you would know, Alexis.”
Something about Serena’s voice and look sent a shiver down my spine. From the very first day when I met her on the streets, I had never before felt any frisson of fear. I shoved that ridiculous thought aside. What did I have to fear from Serena? We may have relationship issues, but she would never harm me. “No, I didn’t realize he was gone until Nikki told me a little while ago.”
A fleeting look of disbelief darted across her face so quickly that seconds later I doubted that I had actually seen it. Yet the question nagged at me—why would Serena think I would lie about knowing where Gregory went?
Head tilted, Serena asked, “What would you recommend that we do, Alexis?”
The words felt like a trap, but I shook that nonsense out of my head. Serena—and Gregory--often asked for my opinion. After all, I had been trained by excellent teachers when I formed Artemis’ Warriors--Matriarch Belora, Gregory and Serena had been my teachers—and had learned even more since the war had begun.
I spread my hands. “We need to form an alliance with other Supernaturals. I guess we need to accept the terms for the meeting. Will you attend the meeting or should I plan on going? Unless Gregory will be back soon?”
“As First Councilwoman I should know when my general plans to return, but he did not see fit to apprise me of his schedule.” Anger pursed her lips momentarily before she smoothed them out. “Do you suggest I attend this meeting?”
I stared into her green gaze and tried to fathom why I felt like I’d found myself dropped into a mine field. Nausea swarmed in my gut and I swallowed hard then licked suddenly dry lips. Nikki and Ri must have felt the same dangerous vibes because they froze in their chairs, only their eyes darting between Serena and I. Carefully, I responded, “That is your decision to make, First Councilwoman. I stand ready to abide by your decision.”
The green in her eyes flared to brilliant emerald. My heart took off at a breakneck pace. I pressed back against the chair trying to put more space between us. Sweat beaded on my forehead and trickled down the side of my face. A roaring sounded in my ears. A lance of pain ripped through my head. I clenched my jaw against both.
As quickly as it had come, the pressure in my head disappeared along with the roaring in my ears.
Serena blinked her eyes. They had returned to their usual spring green. With a tiny smile that showed a hint of fang, she said, “I believe I will send you to that meeting, Alexis.”
****
The thick canopy threw the forest into a perpetual twilight. Though Ri was right in front of me, I couldn’t hear the werepanther’s footsteps as she slipped through the trees. I wondered how long we’d been walking when Ri finally halted next to a thick-trunked Douglas fir.
“We’ll wait here.” She leaned against the tree.
I slumped against the nearest tree trunk and gazed around. “I would hate to live in your village and have to hump my supplies in and out.”
A chuckle rolled from Ri. “We don’t hump our supplies in. We’re just as advanced as the rest of the world. We have cars and trucks and even computers.”
I pursed my lips then sucked air between my teeth. “Then why are we hiking? Why aren’t we driving into the village for the meeting?”
“The Elders don’t allow strangers to visit the village. We’ll be meeting in the forest.”
“Your People paranoid much?”
“Who was it that said you’re not being paranoid if people really are out to get you?”
With a grunt I conceded her point then glanced at my wrist and cursed. “Damn, I didn’t realize how often I looked at my watch until now. Explain to me, if you would, why I wasn’t allowed to wear my watch.”
She rolled her eyes. “Seriously? You’re asking me that?”
I gave her a sheepish grin. “Okay, some watches can be outfitted with a GPS tracker. I get it, but I had to ask.”
A grin stretched her lips. “We may turn into animals but we aren’t dumb animals.”
“Am I meeting just one Elder or more than one?”
Her eyes skipped away from mine. “I am not at liberty to say.”
“Hmmm, no info then until the Elder, or Elders, arrive?”
Obviously uncomfortable with the conversational direction, she shifted her position against the tree. “I don’t have the status to give you any more information than what I already have.” Red crept over her cheeks. “Some of our People think I sold out to the vampires and that’s why I want the werepanthers to ally with them.”
“What?” I jerked up straight.
Misery lay heavy in her voice. “There are some rumors that I bargained information about our People in return for my life.”
“Why would anyone think that?” I glared around the darkening forest as if challenging it to answer.
A deep voice, more growl than words, replied, “How else does a young panther survive an attack by an old vampire?”
I whipped around. A few feet behind me stood a man who towered at least six-foot-five and must’ve weighed in around two-seventy-five. His arms were bigger than my legs. Chin jutted forward, I glared at him. “Maybe by being tougher and smarter than the vampire. Besides, at that time, she didn’t know anything about her People to tell.”
The rough laugh felt like thick dull knife blades hacking at my skin. The laughter dropped away as suddenly as it had come. Anger hardened his features. “That is her claim, but no young panther can best a vampire.”
Before I could snap a reply, a woman glided from the darkness. I blinked and wondered how I had missed seeing her approach, especially since her silvery slacks shimmered even in the gathering blackness.
“That is enough, Sven.” The crack of authority caused the man to drop his gaze.
“Yes, Queen Coahoma.”
The woman covered the distance between us so quickly that it felt as if she’d simply appeared in the space in front of me. “Alexis Night Runner.” She paced around me, taking my measure.
When she walked behind me, my skin itched with the need to turn to keep her in my sight, but I dared not bare my back to the man. Shivers raced over me. My heart picked up speed. I flinched when a warmer than normal breath feathered across the rim of my ear.
“I have heard that you are the favorite of the First Councilwoman. Is this true?”
Hoping I infused my voice and my shrug with a nonchalance I didn’t feel, I replied, “I am the Captain of Artemis’ Warriors, and a friend to First Councilwoman Serena Longer.” A long sniff on the back of my neck raised the hairs on my forearm. I wanted to pull away but feared that it would be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
Elder Coahoma walked in front of me and tilted her head in curiosity. “What are you, Alexis Night Runner?”
What a strange question. “I'm human.”
The Elder shook her head. “You smell of Other.”
Brows furrowed, I asked, “Other?”
“Are you truly so ignorant of your own heritage, young one?”
“The only heritage I'm aware of is my mother’s, and I’ll guarantee that she was fully human. Besides,” I lifted my chin and hoped to put the subject to rest. “We aren’t here to discuss my parentage. I’d rather use this time to discuss our mutual enemies.”
A slight smile showed white teeth, the canines a bit sharper than a human’s, but not as pointed as a vampire’s teeth could become when aroused to anger or lust. Did Were teeth elongate as a vampire’s teeth would under certain conditions? Undoubtedly, it’d be rude to ask. I’d wait until later and ask Ri.
“You are an impatient one, not at all like the vampires I’ve known.”
With a shrug, I said, “I’m not a vampire. Besides, right now, none of us can afford to waste time, Elder. We are at war, whether your People know it or not.” Gaze unwavering, yet not challenging, I waited in respectful silence. The next move belonged to her.
The Elder tilted her head as she studied me. “I smell no deceit in you, Alexis Night Runner. Come.” She spun around and strode into the coming night.
We wound through ever-denser forest, twisting and turning until even my acute sense of direction became confused. At last, we stepped into a small clearing. The moon spilled light on the gathered figures.