by Aya Walksfar
Books stacked high in my arms and partly obscuring my line of sight, I toed the partially open library door wider. Moonlight spilled in through the various windows gracing two of the walls. I could see well enough to cross to the antique library table over by the windows before fumbling with light switches. With a hip check, I closed the door and headed across the room.
After setting the books on the table, I placed my hands against the small of my back and stretched. Damn, those things were heavy. My eyes flicked to the far right. A figure detached from the dark background of the curtains that hung to one side of the expanse of windows and turned. I yanked my sword out of its sheath before the figure could speak.
“No need to draw your sword, Alexis. Though if you wish to take my head for the harm I have brought to you, I would consider it a mercy.” No pity rode the flat words.
I slid my weapon into its sheath and hiked a hip up on the corner of the table. “What are you doing down here, Serena?”
“Couldn’t sleep. Vampire perks can become liabilities. I wish I could simply go to sleep and not awaken.”
Arms crossed, I swung one leg back and forth. The heel of the boot tapped a light tattoo on the wooden table leg. “That sounds pretty defeatist.”
With a slight lifting of her shoulders, Serena turned her head toward the windows. “Perhaps, it is merely realistic. I don’t know everything that I’ve done. Even if I did know, it is apparent from what little that I have gleaned about my behavior recently, that I could not make enough reparations in the course of several lifetimes to begin to balance the scales of justice.”
I ran a hand through my hair. “None of us may have a full measure of this lifetime if we don’t find a way to end this war. Earlier today word reached us that rogue vampires wiped out an entire pack of werewolves in Montana.”
Serena sighed, regret heavy in the sound. “I wish I could do something, but Patrice feels it is not safe to unblock my Power. I can’t say I disagree for inside of me I still feel something is not quite right. It feels as if there is an unhealed wound and that it would not take much for the darkness to overwhelm my Spirit again. I feel like my Soul is sick. Does that make sense?”
“Your Soul is sick, Serena, as well as your Spirit.” I waved toward the stack of books. “I'm determined to find a way to heal you. Meanwhile, you can’t give up.”
A bitter laugh burst from her. “Matriarch Belora worried that the call of magic would cause you to turn away from Artemis’ path and to harm our people. I suppose she should have been more worried about me.” With an almost human-slow shuffle, Serena left the library.
****
The sky had lightened in that peculiar way that it always did an hour or so before dawn. I scrubbed at my burning eyes with the back of a hand then returned my focus to the parchment spread before me. The ancient text--splotched in some places where dampness had touched the ink and faded it--crackled beneath my fingertip. The words of the long dead language flowed ahead of my finger, melting and reforming into English. As my hand passed on, the words reverted to their earlier shapes.
I had re-read that particular block of text many times, trying to be certain that I truly understood it. Gently, rolling the scroll back up, I retied it with its bit of horsehair string. There was no getting around what had to be done.
Fear and dread wove knots in my guts. It was one thing to blithely traipse into a potentially deadly situation, but dragging others in went against everything inside of me. Yet, it had to be done. No other way according to Gregory’s words and the wisdom of the ancients. Still, it didn’t guarantee that everyone would survive.
My feet dragged as I entered the basement and returned the scroll to its place on the bookshelf. I headed up the stairs. Halfway between the door to my room and the door to Serena’s room, Tabitha squatted on her heels, squinting at the book in her hand. She peered up when I blocked the light.
“Tabitha, don’t you have a room? I mean, wouldn’t it be less eye strain if you read in a normal place--like the library or your room, or maybe just some place with brighter light than a hallway?” I arched my brows.
The young witch flowed to her feet and tucked the book into the waistband at the back of her jeans. “Then I wouldn’t have known when you showed up, and I needed to be here when you did.”
“Why not just come downstairs and talk to me?”
“Kira said to wait here.”
“Kira?” Puzzled, I studied the young woman’s face.
Tabitha gave a vigorous nod. “Yes, she said I had to wait here or you might deny what you planned to do in order to keep us safe.”
I crossed my arms. “What I planned to do?” I dropped my arms to my sides. “You might as well go wake Kira, Sheena, and Ri while I gather supplies from my room.”
“Kira said Ariel should come, too.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
“You can’t keep Ariel away, Captain. She needs to be here.” She hurried down the hall.
When the others arrived, I led the way to Serena’s room. I tapped twice before the door swung open. “May we come in?”
She shrugged and walked away. “Suit yourselves.”
I followed her through the bedroom and out onto the balcony.
Serena gazed down at the backyard, hands propped on the cool wrought iron railing. “What is it that the five of you want?”
Instead of grass, witch herbs and bushes populated the large area below. The smell of sage wafting up on the warm breeze soothed me. “We need to talk.”
“What is there to talk about? I’ve personally apologized to each of you, but words can’t rewind time and undo the hurt I’ve caused. I can’t even recall everything that I did. Months of my life are nothing more that bits and pieces and fogged memories.”
Sorrow filled her voice. “Now I know what I’ve done to others when I’ve mind-altered them. I’ve taken away the good and the bad of who they were and replaced it with things that meant nothing to them.” She swiveled around and crossed her arms, the railing pressing against the small of her back.
“We might be able to change that.”
Hope flared, darkening the sea green of her eyes closer to emerald, and then it died. “Patrice told me how, and why, you’ve been going into the Cold-Between, Alexis. You need to quit making that journey. It’s too dangerous; and besides,” she spread her hands wide, “if you haven’t been able to release my Spirit from this spell and my Soul from this sickness in the months that you’ve been trying, you need to accept that it’s not possible. Killing yourself chasing after something that can’t happen is foolish.”
“I’ve met Gregory twice since he died. Once in the Cold-Between when his Spirit left his body to save you from the karma of killing him.”
“I did kill him! Me!” She slapped her chest with an open hand. “That is one of the few things I do recall. If I hadn’t remembered, Baskell was kind enough to remind me of it. The bastard watched the whole thing.” She shook with anger, her eyes flashing emerald.
I waited until the trembling in her hands eased off. “The reason you can recall that particular death, Serena, is because you didn’t do it. The darkness within you didn’t overcome Gregory and take his life. His Spirit freely chose to release its hold on his Body Mortal to keep you from having that death on your Soul.”
Confusion scrawled across her face. “The voice...she was right. She said I didn’t kill Gregory. That he chose to die. I don’t understand.”
“Sometimes, a Spirit is so evolved that it can choose when the body that houses it will die, if the reason is good enough.” I spread my hands. “Don’t ask me what reason is good enough to give a Spirit that kind of autonomy. I have no clue, except that apparently keeping the stain of Gregory’s death off your Soul was such a reason.”
Color had blanched from her face and she looked lost, really lost. I walked over and took her hand in mine. “Come in and talk to us, Serena. Gregory did more than simply give his life for you. He gave us a way t
o heal you.”
“I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve the sacrifice he made.”
“None of us deserve the gifts of love that others give to us. There isn’t any way to earn love, Serena. Love just is. Gregory loved you. His life wasn’t a sacrifice. It was a gift.” I tugged her inside and took her to the wingback chair beside the fireplace.
She sank down on it and stared around at the others. “What do you intend to try?”
“I need to go into the Cold-Between and....”
“No!” She jumped up from the chair. “Absolutely not. I won’t allow it. I heard how you went there and nearly died. I won’t have your death on my conscience, too. I can’t.”
I sighed. “Please, Serena, sit down. At least, listen to everything before you make up your mind. Please?”
Shaking her head, she edged away from our half circle. “No, just no. I would rather die.”
“Mother,” Ariel stood up. “This isn’t all about you. We are in the middle of a war. You don’t have the luxury of giving up; no more than the rest of us do. Now, sit and listen to what needs to be said. At least, grant us that boon.” Mouth set in unyielding firmness, arms crossed, she stared across the small space at her mother.
Serena sank back into her chair. “Okay. You’re right. It’s not solely about me.”
I hunched on the edge of my chair. “There’s more to your sickness than just the last few months, Serena.”
****
With my hands on either side of Serena’s face, I closed my eyes and sank into my Power. It rose up like a living, sentient entity from the core of my being. Its black wings blocked out all light as they wrapped around me. The warmth calmed my thundering, panicked heart. It slowed to a rhythmic beat.
Weightlessness enveloped me as the blackness came and claimed me.
I soared high in the blackness for a long time. Crisp cold air that smelled of new snow brushed my face, chilled me. A low hum filled my ears, almost like the Power sang to me.
The Endless Black began to fill with tiny, pinpricks of light; lights that wavered, and flickered. Some burned with a bright white light while others shimmered with a dim yellow light. Still others glowed with a blue light. All around, the lights appeared against the velvet black. It looked like the most beautiful night sky I had ever seen.
Captivated, the sight held me immobile. My fingers grew cold, and then began to ache. The frantic spinning of my mind slowed, and kept slowing.
“Alexis! Alexis, listen to me!”
In slo-mo, I batted at my ear. Why couldn’t that voice shut up and go away? I needed to stay here; I needed to look at the stars.
“Alexis! Listen. To. Me.” Right behind the command, a surge of warmth rushed through me. It chased the numbing cold from my mind and then bit by bit from my body.
I gave a vigorous shake to my head. Great Goddess! What was that?
The thought had barely formed before Tabitha’s voice snapped, “That was the Cold-Between trying to claim you. Focus!”
I peered into the darkness, turning in a circle. “I hear you, but I can’t see you this time.”
“That’s because I'm sending just my Energy to you. Now focus and get on with it.”
With a deep inhale, I pushed forward. Though no hills existed, it felt as if I struggled up a steep grade. “I hate how I never know if I'm moving in the right direction.”
A burst of light laughter flowed over me. “There are no directions in the Cold-Between. As long as you are consciously moving, you are headed in the correct direction.”
A vicious wind suddenly sprang out of nowhere. It slapped me, spun me around and then began shoving me backward. I called to Power; envisioned a sleek black horse, muscles bunching beneath me as we fought our way forward.
A horse appeared, snorting and stamping. I grabbed a handful of jet-black mane and swung up on its bare back. Haunches gathered and the animal launched itself against the wind. Ears flat against its head, neck stretched nearly level with its withers, the big creature strained as it galloped into the buffeting wind.
Plastered against the horse’s neck, the wind continued to batter me. It lifted tiny grains of sand and scoured my arms, hands and the side of my face.
A gust slammed into me. Slapped me sideways until I clung by one leg over the horse’s barrel; holding on with one hand tangled in its mane. The animal never broke from its gallop and for a heart-stopping moment, I knew I would fall. Would such a fall kill my Body Mortal? Somehow, I fought back up and clamped my legs tighter around the horse, burrowing both hands into its thick mane.
Why was this journey in the Cold-Between being so difficult?
As if I had asked the question aloud, Tabitha replied, “You are looking for a Darkness that does not wish to be found. It knows you hunt it.”
All conscious thought ceased. Time held no meaning. The cold surrounded me. Cut me off from all that was warm, all that was good. What made me think I could succeed? Inner city kid makes good! Yeah, seriously. Not.
Tired. Just need to close my eyes for a second.
“Alexis!”
“Lay off, Tabitha. I need some rest,” I mumbled.
“Whine, whine, snivel, snot. The baby needs a tit. Get over it. Now get up and focus!” A sharp point poked my side.
“Oww! Knock it off. I'm going to mess you up if you don’t leave me alone. This is my spot. Go find your own,” I growled without opening my eyes.
This time the poke felt more like a stab. I jumped up, hands fisted and swung around searching for the culprit.
“Now, will you please focus? I'm not sure how much more Energy I can feed you.” Exhaustion wove through Tabitha’s confession. “It’s not just you that the Darkness is fighting.”
I rubbed a hand down my face, struggling to overcome the sluggishness of my mind. The horse had disappeared at some point. Far ahead a tiny light glowed. I would get there. I had to. Hanging onto that thought, I dragged one foot then the other forward.
A speck of light floated just ahead of me. Hope flooded my chest. It’s just like Kira Dreamed.
My legs began cramping. The right calf muscle knotted. The leg folded. I tumbled to the ground. Both hands squeezing and rubbing, still the tight muscles kept the leg jackknifed. Have to get up; have to keep going. Have to reach that light. I forced my leg straight and stumbled to my feet. Afraid to bend that leg, I limped on.
A cruel laugh floated across the blackness. What the...? Fear rose in a tidal wave and swamped me. Have to go on. No other choice. Though my insides quivered, I forged toward that speck of light.
In a corner of a dungeon room, the pinpoint of light hung close to the floor. Rusted iron bars blocked the small rectangle that sufficed for a window. Dampness glistened on thick stone walls. Straw littered the cold, stone floor.
The heavy plank door had a tiny square cut into it. The square was nearly six feet above the floor and barred with iron. A woman’s face pressed against the bars. Cold, black eyes locked on the corner where the tiny light huddled against the wall. A malicious smile twisted the woman’s lips. “This is where you’re going to die. How do you think your mother is going to feel when I toss your body at her feet? This is all her fault, you know. I gave her a choice.” A vicious laugh. “And she didn’t choose you.” The face disappeared and an iron flap slapped over the opening.
I eased closer to the corner, closer to the flickering pale light. A young child huddled on the floor. Welts shone red across her back even in the watery daylight seeping down from the lone window. The whip had torn away slices of cloth and skin.
My heart ached for the child. I hunched down in front of her. “Hey, how you doing?”
Hair so matted and dirty that I couldn’t tell what color it had been, grime engrained around the child’s nails and on her slender feet. Her clothes had once been of high quality, but now hung in ragged pieces on the emaciated frame.
She raised her tear-stained face. Serena’s sea green gaze stared up at me. “Who are you?”
The young voice quivered.
“I'm....a friend.”
“Can you ask my mommy to come and get me away from Lady Outterridge?”
I pushed words past the lump in my throat. “Some friends and I have come to help you.”
“Oh, I guess my mommy must be too busy to come.” Disappointment fell like a gray and limp cloak over the child’s face. Her shoulders slumped even more.
“No, honey, that’s not it.”
She lifted her chin. Her voice quavered. “That’s all right. My mommy has a hard job. She has to keep all of our People safe.” She blinked back tears then said, “Our People are more important than any one of us alone. I understand.” Tears quivered on her lashes.
The dungeon door flew open. The woman who had earlier peered through the door’s window hole stomped across the small room. She stopped in front of the child and propped her hands on slender hips.
Flowing honey gold tresses topped a classically beautiful, alabaster face. Fathomless black eyes stared out from beneath long, dark lashes. A well-endowed bosom tapered down to a slender waist and hips that flared out just enough to be sexy.
How can someone so beautiful on the outside be so evil on the inside?
Face contorted into a snarling mask, Lady Helena Outterridge glared at the child. “It appears that it’s not going to be...prudent...to torture you to death. However, I certainly don’t intend for you to forget your stay with me.” In a foreign language the woman chanted.
Blood red threads appeared, writhing like snakes, in the air above the child’s head. I lunged at the threads and hit a force field that prevented me from reaching the other side.
The threads dropped onto the child. Lady Outterridge flung out her hands and thousands of black spiders raced over Serena the child. She screamed, and tried to leap up, but one of the threads had wrapped around her ankles and she crashed to the floor. Rolling on the floor, she batted at the spiders swarming her. Small red bites blossomed on her pale skin.