“It’s not that I’m tempted.” Her eyes drifted over his torso. “Sex with you was… addictive. That’s why I can’t risk it again.”
Knowing once would never be enough for him either, he conceded. He had to change the subject or risk losing his mind, so he asked one of the questions that had been plaguing him for years, “You kept my last name. Why?”
She shrugged. “I thought it would be easier for Cadence, you know, at school, if we had the same last name. It wouldn’t invite as many questions from nosy teachers and classmates.”
“But this is a small town. Everyone knows of me. They know I’m Cadence’s father. Your ex-husband.” Her logic didn’t make sense. Unless…
“Fine, maybe I couldn’t bear to let go completely.”
He swallowed, his heart clenching from the knowledge that he hadn’t been the only one holding on to the past. If he’d had even a hint that she still had feelings for him, he would have fought like hell to save their marriage. He’d thought she didn’t want him anymore, that she was done with him and ready to move on with her life. That was what she’d told him when she finally told him to get out. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“Stupid pride, I guess.” Jayda jumped when her cell phone rang. “Unknown number,” she said, scrambling to reach the phone on the table before it went to voice mail.
He grabbed her wrist. “The investigator called while I was outside. He said something about hiring a ransom specialist. Maybe we should wait until we’re able to line someone up—”
“Are you crazy? If I can find out where my daughter is, I’m not waiting another second!” She put it on speakerphone as she looked at Chase, wide-eyed. “Hello.”
“Hey, sis.”
“Oh my God. Dillon. Where are you? Cadence?” She sobbed, covering her mouth. “She’s with you, right? Please tell me she’s okay.”
“She is. You know I’d never hurt her. Here, Cadence. Say hi to your mommy.”
“Hey, sweetheart,” Jayda said, her voice breaking. “How’s my big girl?”
“I’m okay. Are you crying, Mommy? Why are you crying?”
Jayda and Chase exchanged a look as she obviously debated how much to tell their daughter.
“Why are you still awake, princess?” Chase asked. “It’s so late. You should be in bed by now. You do have a bed where you’re staying, right?” Chase wanted to find out as much as he could about where Cadence and her uncle were staying. Maybe that would give them a clue to her whereabouts.
“Daddy? Why are you with Mommy? You said you had a game.”
She didn’t sound distraught, just tired, which made Chase question what her uncle had told her when he’d picked her up from the bus stop earlier that day. “Um, I’m here waiting for you, sweetness. When are you coming home?”
“I don’t know. Uncle Dillon says we’re havin’ an adventure. I don’t even have to go to school tomorrow.” She hesitated. “That’s okay, right? My teacher won’t get mad at me?”
“You don’t have to worry about a thing, sweet pea,” Dillon said to Cadence. “Your mommy will call the school for us, won’t you, sis?” When Jayda glared at the phone, Dillon said, “Well, I just wanted you to know we’re doin’ just fine. So you wouldn’t worry.”
“Dillon,” Chase interjected, “I’d like a word with you. In private.”
“Sure. You say good night to your mommy and daddy,” Dillon said to Cadence. “Then go to sleep like a good girl, okay?”
“Night, Mommy, Daddy. Love you.”
“We love you too, baby,” Jayda said, biting her lip. “We can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too.”
“Okay,” Dillon said a few seconds later. “I’m in the bathroom. What do you want, Miller?”
“The question is what do you want?” Chase said, trying to hold his temper. He didn’t know when or if he’d get another chance to negotiate with this loser. He had to make the next few minutes count. “How much is it going to cost me to get my daughter back? One million? Two? Three? Five?”
“You’d really give me five million dollars?” he asked, sounding intrigued. “Or are you just blowin’ smoke?”
“You really think you’re going to get away with this?” Jayda asked. “You’re going to jail for this, Dillon!”
Chase made eye contact with Jayda before bringing his finger to his lips. The last thing they needed was to scare this guy off. If anything, they needed to give him the incentive to return. Jessie had put a recording and tracing device on both of their phones, but that didn’t mean Dillon planned to stay in one place long enough to meet his fate.
“You’d turn your own brother in?” he asked, sounding incredulous. “You can’t be serious!”
Apparently he’d been completely cut off from the outside world for the past ten hours, or he would have known an Amber Alert had been issued for Cadence and Chase had called a press conference to ask the public to help him find his daughter. Dillon was now as famous as Chase. He couldn’t go anywhere in this country without being recognized.
“You want money, right?” Chase interjected. “We both know that’s what this is about. So just name your price. I’ll call my bank first thing in the morning.”
“I can’t do that,” he said, sounding sorely tempted.
“Why not?” That was when Chase realized Dillon wasn’t in this alone, and that made it a hell of a lot more dangerous. He could be taking orders from anyone, which meant his life and Cadence’s could be on the line.
“I can’t say.” He sighed. “I just wanted you to know that she’s okay, that she’s with me and I’d never let anything bad happen to her.”
“Why are you doing this?” Jayda cried. “We’re family! How could you trade that for a few lousy bucks to feed your sickness?”
“You don’t understand,” Dillon said, sounding miserable. “I didn’t want to do it, sis. I didn’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice,” Jayda said, swiping at the tears streaking her cheeks. “And you chose drugs over your family. Because as far as I’m concerned, you can rot in prison for this.”
Chase understood Jayda’s outrage. He felt the same way, but lashing out at Dillon wouldn’t help their cause. “Dillon, listen to me, man. This has gone far enough. Don’t get in any deeper. I don’t know who you’re working with or what they’ve got on you, but I can help you. I’ve got the money and connections to help, you know I do.”
“You hate my guts. Why would you want to help me?”
It was a legitimate question, and Chase knew he had to be convincing to sell his idea. “You’re Cadence’s uncle. That makes us family, right? Is that why they came after you, because they thought they could get to me?”
“I’ve got to go.”
Chase knew he was closing in on the truth, but he wasn’t going to get it tonight. “Do me a favor? Take good care of her. Don’t let anything happen to her. Promise me?”
“Yeah, sure. I promise.” Just as Jayda was about to hang up, Dillon said, “Jayda, wait. I want you to call your boyfriend and tell him to call off the dogs. Tell him it’s not a kidnapping, just a misunderstanding.”
“You really think Jessie is stupid enough to believe that?” she asked, frowning at her phone.
“I think he’ll believe anything you tell him.”
Chase narrowed his eyes at his ex, wondering if there was more to her relationship with his former friend than she’d let on.
“Why should I do anything for you?” she demanded. “You stole my daughter, and you’re refusing to bring her back.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t steal her.”
“Oh, really? What did you do, borrow her? So when are you going to bring her back then?”
“Soon, I promise.”
“How can I believe anything you say? You’ve lied to me time and again, and this… this is the ultimate betrayal. Whatever mess you got yourself into, to drag my daughter into it? That’s unforgivable,” she said.
&nbs
p; “I know, I’m sorry, okay? Just call the pigs off.”
“We’ll see what we can do,” Chase assured him, knowing they had to make him believe they were on the same side.
“Hey, you two aren’t getting back together, are you?” Dillon asked.
Chase wanted to tell him it was none of his goddamn business, but he bit his tongue instead. “No, I’m just here ‘til you bring Cadence home safe and sound.”
“Good, that means you won’t be around long enough to reel Jayda in again. You’re the last thing she needs in her life right now.”
“No!” Jayda argued. “You’re the last thing I need in my life right now. Chase isn’t the one causing me all this pain. You are.”
“Then you forgot about the way he tore your heart out when he left? You forgot about crying yourself to sleep every night, losing all that weight, having to go to the doctor to get sleeping pills ‘cause—”
“Shut up!” Jayda shouted. “This is none of your business! I just want my daughter back!”
“And you’ll get her back, just as soon as you do what I tell you to do. Call the hounds off.”
A second later the line was dead, and Jayda sank into the pale blue sofa, dropping her head in her hands. “At least we know she’s okay. I guess that’s something, right?”
“Yeah.” He sat on the coffee table in front of her, resting his hands on the outsides of her thighs. “How about you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s her we need to worry about.”
“I am worried about her,” he said, brushing a strand of hair off her face. “But I can be worried about her mom too, can’t I?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, closing her eyes. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“No worries.”
“God, what are we going to do?” Tears slid down her cheeks as she looked at him. “I’ve never heard him sound so desperate. What if I’m wrong about him, believing he wouldn’t hurt her? What if he’s so out of it, he turns her over to someone who—”
“Don’t even think like that.” He sank onto the sofa beside her, pulling her into his arms as he cradled her head against his chest. When he knew she was still torturing herself with the worst-case scenario, he asked a question to distract her. “What he said on the phone, about the effect my leaving had on you… was that true?”
She glanced at the photo on the end table of Cadence in her pretty white lace christening dress. “I was a mess when you left.” She picked up the picture and ran her fingertip across the glass. “But this little angel needed me, so I had to pull myself together.”
“You always seemed so strong,” he said, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. “You acted like you never needed me, or anyone, that you could take care of yourself, your father, Cadence, without any help from me.”
“Is that how I made you feel?” she asked, looking into his dark eyes. “Like I didn’t need you?”
“Well, yeah.”
“God, you couldn’t have been more wrong. I did need you. So much it scared me.”
“Really?” He couldn’t reconcile the image of his strong wife, the woman who’d refused pain meds during childbirth, with someone who needed him.
“I never told you that?” she asked, looking as surprised as he felt. “That I needed you?”
“Never.”
“But you knew how much I loved you. You knew that you and our daughter meant everything to me.”
“No, what I knew was that your family meant everything to you—that’s what you kept telling me. You said your father couldn’t make it without you, that he needed you. You said your brother couldn’t beat his addiction if you didn’t foot the bill—”
“Chase,” she whispered, “you were my family, you and Cadence. My God, you were my husband.”
He swallowed all of his pain and grief over never feeling like he belonged anywhere, to anyone. “There’s no point talking about this now. It’s over.”
Chapter Five
Jayda didn’t want to analyze why she was making her ex-husband’s favorite breakfast—blueberry pancakes. She told herself it was because she had woken up early, had the ingredients on hand, and needed something to do so she didn’t go crazy waiting for the phone to ring. All true. But there was also another truth—she felt bad for Chase.
For five long years, she’d made him out to be the bad guy because it was easier to let him take the fall than accept some of the responsibility herself. But she was to blame. She’d chosen her commitment to her father and brother over her marriage vows. She opted to give her daughter a grandfather and uncle instead of a daddy, and look how that turned out.
“No word yet?” Chase asked, walking into the small kitchen. Before she could respond, he added, “Stupid question, since you’re trying to distract yourself cooking when I suspect I’m not the only one finding it tough to even think about eating.” He smiled through the fear and sadness she saw in his eyes. Her daughter’s eyes. “Smells great though. I haven’t had those in years. I guess since the last time you made them for me.”
She shuddered as she wondered when or if she’d ever get to look into Cadence’s sparkling brown eyes again. She was trying so hard to remain optimistic, but she knew anything could happen.
“Why haven’t you had them since?” she asked, warming the butter and syrup in the microwave. Jayda knew the food would likely go to waste, but they had to at least try to keep their strength up… for their daughter’s sake. They were of no use to her if they were battling low blood sugar, making it impossible to think clearly.
“Because they remind me of you.” Instead of looking her in the eye, he reached for the coffee pot and poured himself a cup.
“Seriously?” she asked, pausing mid-stack as she placed pancakes on a platter.
“There are lots of things I don’t do anymore… because they remind me of you.”
“Like what?”
“I haven’t taken my bike out of the garage in years.”
They used to love riding his Harley together. “But why? You loved that bike.”
“I loved the girl more.”
She felt those few words like a shot to the solar plexus. God, what had she given up? And why? For the sake of family members who didn’t even appreciate her, who took her for granted and tore down the only man she’d ever loved because they believed he was trying to take her away from them? She set the platter down gently and gripped the edge of the counter when she realized her hand was shaking.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, looking at her with a crease between his dark brows. “Are you not feeling well?”
She’d been feeling sick to her stomach ever since she pulled up to the curb where she normally met her daughter’s bus and saw that it was gone. But this time she was nauseated for an entirely different reason—the overwhelming feeling of loss and regret over her marriage and the sense she could do nothing about it.
“I’m just…” She swallowed. “I always feel a little queasy when I don’t get enough sleep.”
“I remember.” He nodded toward the small dining area off her kitchen. “Go sit down. I’ll bring this stuff in.”
“Thanks,” she muttered, needing a moment to collect herself.
She watched him place the food down and flashbacked to all the other times he’d taken care of her. Since her mother died when she was ten, she’d been the one to take care of everyone else. To make sure there was food in the fridge and a meal on the table, even though she’d gone to school or worked just as many hours as the men in their house. That was a promise she’d made to her mother, to take care of her boys for her. And Jayda had taken that promise seriously—to the detriment of everything else in her life. Being a good daughter to her late mother translated to being a lousy wife to Chase.
Chase touched the back of his hand against her forehead, frowning. “You sure you’re okay, Jay? You’re feeling kind of warm… and you look a little pale. Maybe you should try lying down for a little while. I’ll wait by the pho
ne, see if he calls back.”
“I thought you were trying to control me,” she blurted, wondering where the admission had come from. It was the truth, but a long-repressed truth she hadn’t even been willing to share when they were on the verge of divorce.
“What?” He sat down next to her, looking confused.
“I thought you were trying to take me away from my work, my family, everything I loved. I thought that’s why you accepted that contract.” She stared at her plate, curling her short nails into her palms. “I thought you were ashamed of my job… that it wasn’t fitting for a pro athlete at the top of his game to have a grease monkey for a wife.”
He gaped at her before snapping his mouth shut. “When did I ever make you feel as though I was ashamed of what you did? Or that I’d want you to do anything else?”
Never. “I thought maybe you’d get us out there, set us up in some fancy house with the country club crowd, and leave me there while you traveled around the continent playing baseball.”
“Where is all this coming from?”
She knew what he was really asking: Why now? When it’s too late?
“I enjoy what I do,” she said, feeling a bit like she was locked in a confessional. But she had to get this out before she lost her nerve. “But I think I got into it because I had to prove myself.”
Chase stared at her, clearly stunned because he’d never heard her say these things before. Not during the four years they were married or the five years they’d dated prior to eloping.
“My brothers and father always treated me like I wasn’t…” Good enough. “Um, one of them. They made me feel as though I couldn’t do the things they could, so I wanted to prove to them that I could.” Though they’d treated her like one of the guys, she always felt like the odd man out.
“That’s understandable,” Chase said, obviously finding his voice after her unexpected outburst.
“I thought you were just like them.” She realized she’d painted all men with the same brush because of her experience with the men in her family. “They tried to control me. They told me when to come home, who to date, what I should and shouldn’t do.”
Make Up Call (Summer Rush #3) Page 4