Chapter Eleven
When he knocked on Jayda’s door, Chase had promised himself that he’d do his best to keep it light, to give her time to think about the possibility of putting their family back together. Instead he’d dropped the L-bomb, and she was looking at him like a deer in the headlights as the color drained from her face.
Damn it. The last thing he wanted was to back her into a corner and risk losing what little progress they’d made.
“I know you think if we did get back together, you’d be the one making all the sacrifices, but that’s not true. We could still spend part of the year in Aurora, just like we do now.” Except this way, they’d be living under one roof again, like a real family. “We could build a place, if you want?”
“Chase,” Jayda said, rubbing her temple as she closed her eyes, “you’re getting way ahead of yourself. We’re not even married anymore.”
“That could be rectified in one day with a quick trip to Vegas after this series.” They’d eloped the first time, and he couldn’t imagine Jayda wanting the big church wedding this time around.
“We’ve been apart a long time. It’s crazy to think we can just pick up where we left off. Too much time has passed. Too much has happened.”
“You’re right. Too much time has passed.” His ex-wife may be stubborn and opinionated, but so was he. And he never backed down when he wanted something as much as he wanted her. “Too much time without my wife and daughter. Too much time sleeping in separate beds, eating at different tables. Too much time thinking about each other.”
When her eyes flashed to his, he knew he wasn’t the only one who fell asleep thinking about the love they made. She had to think about it. She was the one still sleeping in the bed where they’d gotten engaged, consummated their marriage, and conceived their daughter. As far as he was concerned, that spoke volumes. If she didn’t want to remember him, she would have gotten rid of the one piece of furniture that had to remind her most of him. Their bed.
“We have to go slow,” she said, shaking her head. “We have to think about Cadence.”
“I am thinking about Cadence. I’m thinking about how much she wants her mommy and daddy back together, how much she wants us to be a family.” When she was about to interject, Chase raised his hand. “Do you know what it did to me tonight when I heard she’d asked you if we could give her a brother or sister? It damn near killed me, Jay. ‘Cause I want that too. So bad. I want another baby… with you. Only with you.”
She swallowed repeatedly before she whispered, “It’s not like I haven’t thought about what it would be like to have another baby. I have.” She smiled. “You were so amazing with her when she was a baby. I’d never seen that side of you before. You were always this big, tough guy, but with her, you were soft and sweet and gentle. It made me fall in love with you all over again.”
“So when did you fall out of love with me?” His voice was low, his inner voice scolding him for pushing too hard.
“I…” She shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes. “I don’t know. I’m not sure that I have.” She reached for his hand. “But please try to understand where I’m coming from. We’ve been apart a long time. I have my life now, and you have yours.”
“Do you love your life?” That was the most important question she had to answer. Did she love her life in Aurora too much to leave it? Or was it just her obligation to her family that was keeping her there?
She bit her lip, looking confused. “I like it,” she said slowly. “I’m happy, for the most part. You know it’s a good place to raise a family. I have a lot of friends there. I feel safe. And everyone’s been so great about helping with Cadence.”
He’d offered to hire a nanny so she wouldn’t have to worry about childcare during the season when he couldn’t be there, but she’d insisted she could handle it. Like everything else, she had it under control.
“When we talked about it the other night, it sounded like you might still want to go to college. Do you?” He knew it wasn’t fair to dangle that carrot in front of her, but he was a desperate man, willing to do just about anything to get his family back.
“Sure, I’ve thought about it. But it’s not feasible right now. I can’t afford to—”
“You could afford to do anything you wanted if you just say yes, Jay.” He stood and took her hand to pull her to her feet. He wrapped his arms around her, tipping her head back so he could look into her eyes. “Just think about it. You wouldn’t be bored during the regular season if you were taking classes. Maybe you could even work part-time or volunteer or—”
“I know what you’re trying to do,” she said, covering his lips with her fingertip. “Sweeten the pot. Make it impossible for me to refuse. But what about the shop and my father and my house and our daughter’s school and friends—”
“Honey, kids are resilient. Besides, she’d still see her friends during the off-season.”
She frowned. “But how would that work? Spring training starts in March and your season runs into October, with the postseason. Cadence is out of school in the summer, which would be her only chance to spend time with her friends and grandfather. And we couldn’t go back to Aurora during the off-season. She’d be in school.”
At least she was thinking about the logistics of the arrangement he was proposing. He took that as a good sign, even if she seemed determined to throw up road blocks.
“You could take her back for a few weeks in the summer so she could hang out with her friends and see your dad.”
He knew Jayda was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, putting everyone else’s needs ahead of her own because of some long-ago promise she’d made to her mother, but he was determined to make her think about what was best for her. “Just tell me one thing. If you had to pinpoint a time in your life when you were the happiest, when would it be?”
A slow smile spread across her face. “When we newly married and expecting Cadence. I was so happy then. I didn’t think anything could tear us apart. You had your pro contract, and I thought we were going to have a house full of kids, just like we’d always talked about.”
“It’s not too late for that.” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as he whispered in her ear, “I made you happy once before. Let me do it again. For the rest of our lives this time. We’ll work out the logistics, baby. I just need to know that you want this as much as I do.”
“I need…” Her hands covered his chest as she closed her eyes. “Time to think. This is a huge decision, Chase. And it’s all happening so fast.”
Ironic that she thought it was happening fast, since he’d been praying this day would come since he walked out of their home and left behind everything that mattered to him. “Then let me give you something else to think about.”
He kissed her neck as she pulled the oversized T-shirt bearing his name over her head. They’d always had incredible chemistry, and as much as he wanted to make love to her for his own selfish reasons, he had to believe that reminding her how incredible they had been together would only help his cause. She fell back on the bed and shimmied out of her little black shorts, taking her panties along with them.
He took a moment to admire her as his mouth watered. It had been so long since he’d had the right to touch her that his palms itched and his body reacted immediately. “You are so beautiful, Jayda.”
She smiled, stretching her arms over her head. “I’m glad you think so. But why don’t you show me instead of just telling me?”
“My pleasure.”
He stripped off his clothes as she watched him. Her eyes trailed over his body, resting on his defined abs as she licked her lips. “How is it possible that you got even sexier?”
He chuckled, glad that he spent more time in the gym than most of his teammates. He loved working out, and it showed. Now that he had Jayda back in his life, he had one more reason to want to stay in peak condition. “As long as you think so, baby.”
Their kiss was long and de
ep, more intimate than any kiss he’d ever shared with another woman.
“I love you so much,” he said, looking into her eyes while her breath caught. He didn’t care if she was scared to say it back. He trusted that she would eventually, when she learned to trust in him and what they had again. “I never stopped loving you, Jay.”
His ex-wife wasn’t a crier, never had been. But with the exception of the day they split and the day Cadence went missing, he’d seen her on the verge of tears more tonight than he ever had. When the tears spilled from her eyes, he kissed her cheeks.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart,” he said. “I never want to make you cry again.”
He didn’t know if that was possible. They were both passionate, headstrong people, and they couldn’t spend the next forty or fifty years together without a few nasty fights. But he knew one thing for sure—he’d never walk out on her again. And he’d never let her walk out on him. This time, he’d fight for his family as though his life depended on it. Because it did.
“I’m not crying because I’m sad.” She sniffled. “I’m crying because I’m happy and surprised and… hopeful. I never expected this to happen. When I called to tell you about Cadence’s disappearance, I never thought we could end up back here.”
He smiled. “In bed?”
“In love.”
Those two little words threatened to break him. He could feel his composure crumbling. His whisper was harsh when he asked, “Does that mean you’re—”
“In love with you?” She brushed the back of her hand against the stubble on his cheek. “Yes.”
“Jay,” he said, feeling frantic as he framed her head with his hands, “I won’t screw it up this time, I promise. I’ll never put my career first again.” Though he hadn’t really done that the first time. He’d signed that contract because he fully expected his girls to come with him. He should have known better than to think his headstrong wife would settle for being told what to do. “From now on, it’s you and Cadence, then my career, in that order.”
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
“I never questioned how much you loved our little girl. But the way you reacted when you found out she was missing, hopping on a plane right away, even though your team needed you…” She kissed him. “That told me all I needed to know about where your heart is.”
“My heart is right here.” He kissed her breast above where her heart was thudding. “With you. Just like it always has been. You’ve always owned me, even when you didn’t know it.” He eased back, slipping his shaft through her folds. She was evidently as turned on as he was, primed and ready to go. “If you’d called me at any time since I walked out and asked me to take you back, I wouldn’t even have hesitated. I would have booked an airline ticket within seconds before you could change your mind.”
When he swirled his tongue around her nipple, she bucked while threading her hands through his hair. “Really? You mean that?”
He reached between them, finding her hot button as she moaned softly. “Of course I mean that. I wanted my wife back. I still do. More now than ever.”
She opened her eyes when he slipped two fingers inside her.
“You’re still mine. You always have been. That’s why you kept my last name, isn’t it? Because you know it too?” He drove his point home slowly and deliberately, letting her reaction remind him exactly what she liked.
“Oh God, Chase…” She squeezed her eyes shut as she breathed heavily before tensing and pulsing around his fingers.
He released her, kissing her slowly before looking into her eyes. “Tell me that you’re mine. That you always have been.”
“You already know that. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
Using a condom wasn’t an issue with Jayda. Since she was allergic to latex, she’d always been on the pill… except for the month it took them to conceive Cadence. “You know we have to go through rigorous testing at the start of every season,” he said, poised at her entrance. “I’m clean. I promise.”
“I believe you.”
He had a sickening thought, one he hated to even think about. Especially now. “How did you manage after the divorce with your, uh, allergy? The guys you were with… you didn’t just take them at their word that they were clean, did you?”
She blushed, dipping her head.
“God, Jay. How could you?” The last thing he wanted was to lose his temper with her now, but when he thought about some asshole infecting her with—
“I haven’t been with anyone else.”
It took a second for him to process what she’d said. “What are you talking about?”
She buried her face in his neck, obviously embarrassed. “I know I may have implied that I’d been with other men. But I know you date a lot, and well, I didn’t want to seem like a loser for sitting home alone at night, not getting any action.”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jayda was hands-down the most beautiful woman he’d ever been with, and she was telling him it had been years since she’d let a man touch her? “That’s crazy,” he said, skimming the scruff on his jaw along her cheek. “You always liked sex almost as much as I did. How could you have abstained for so long?”
“I had opportunities,” she said, looking him in the eye. “But when it came down to it, I just couldn’t go through it.”
“Why?” He held his breath, waiting, praying…
“I guess because they weren’t you. Besides, with my little problem, it makes it tough. I couldn’t imagine taking that kind of risk with someone unless I really trusted them, and I never got that serious with anyone.”
The realization that he’d been her only lover overwhelmed him, as did the guilt for all the women who’d warmed his bed since her. “I don’t know what the hell I did to get lucky enough to deserve this second chance with you, but I swear I won’t take you or what we have for granted again, baby. Not for a single second.”
She responded by raising her hips, silently inviting him to close the gap between them. He took his time, needing to be gentle with her as much as he needed to savor the moment.
She gripped his ass with a saucy grin, taking matters into her own hands. “I won’t break, you know.”
The moment was meant to be light, but her choice of words made them both pause. They’d broken each other before, and the intensity of their love and everything at stake—namely their daughter’s heart—meant they could break each other again.
He moved slowly, needing her to feel him while he whispered, “I’ll put you first this time. I swear I will. I won’t hurt you again.”
“And I’ll put you and our daughter first this time.” Her eyes drifted closed as she sucked in a breath while curling her hands around his bulging biceps. “You’re right. You’re my family now.”
“Marry me again. Please, Jay. I need to make you my wife again. Officially.”
“Come and live with us during the off-season.”
He would never turn down the opportunity to wake up to her every morning and fall asleep with her every night. To drive their daughter to school, share meals with her, and read her a bedtime story. That was all he’d ever wanted… ever since he lost it. “Okay.”
Jayda clenched him hard, making him sigh as he struggled to hold on. “That’s all you’ve got to say when I ask you to move in with us? Okay?”
“I’m sorry, but I want a more permanent arrangement.” He swore softly when she continued using her body to torture him. “I want to see a ring back on your finger. I want us to start making plans for the future.”
“How about we just focus on the immediate future?” Her eyes sparkled when he picked up the pace. “Yes… that’s exactly what I had in mind.”
Chapter Twelve
Jayda slipped into bed with Cadence in Chase’s hotel room sometime before dawn. She hated to leave the comfort of Chase’s strong arms, especially while he was asleep, but their daughter would have a million questions if she woke up and found her p
arents in bed together.
Since Cadence had been so young when they split, she’d never known her parents to share a bed. And she wouldn’t. Not until Jayda and Chase had their relationship sorted out. She knew her ex would balk when she asked him to sleep in the guest room instead of sharing her bed in Aurora, but they had to put Cadence’s feelings first. She was just a little girl, and the last thing Jayda wanted was to confuse or hurt Cadence if things didn’t work out.
Jayda wanted things to work out, more than anything, especially after last night. But she was scared. She didn’t want to lose herself in Chase’s world. Plenty of his teammates’ wives were probably happy being wives and moms, holding down the fort while their husbands traveled the continent trying to rack up wins. But she would never be that woman. She was used to solving problems every day, dealing with challenges and difficult people. There would be a void in her life without work, and the last thing she wanted was to grow to resent Chase because he’d forced her to give up her job so she could be with him.
“Hey,” he said, standing in the doorway. He smiled at the sight of Cadence. “Why don’t you come back to bed? It looks like she’ll be out for a little while longer.”
“Um, do you think you could order us some coffee and breakfast? I’m starving.” That way she’d have an excuse to be in the other room with Chase when their daughter woke up.
He winked at her. “Worked up an appetite last night, huh?”
“Something like that.”
God, Chase was the sexiest man she’d ever met, and it still blew her mind to think that he wanted her. She didn’t think of herself as a hag or anything, but he could have any woman he wanted. Hell, he could have every woman he wanted, and he was choosing to be a one-woman man again. How lucky did that make her?
“Okay, I’ll take care of it.” His eyes softened when he looked at Cadence. “Looks like our little princess needs her beauty sleep. I’ll order her pancakes when she wakes up.”
“Sounds good. I’ll just freshen up and meet you in there.”
Make Up Call (Summer Rush #3) Page 12