‘No, don’t go.’ My intensity of feeling at seeing Ruth and Hannah surprises me. As a man without a past it is a rare blessing to have these people back in my life. Hannah is a reminder of happier times and Ruth represents the chance that my sins at Lindisfarne may be redeemed. ‘I have a room here for the night. You should both stay with me.’ I look at Stetson, who rolls his eyes.
‘Very well! And please, Sister Hannah, if it’s not too much to ask and only if you’re quite ready, can you do your job? The Lady is waiting.’ He turns and walks into the Keep with Hannah following behind him. The steward turns his head over his shoulder and calls back to me. ‘This isn’t a doss house, Weed. It’s Alnwick bloody Castle.’
Chapter 24
Ruth and I stand alone in the emptying courtyard and together we breathe in the cool air of the evening. The gardens are bathed in limpid yellow light and distantly I see Gwirdrych’s feathered leaves swaying at its heart.
‘Malina left me.’ Ruth says quickly. She looks very small and thoughtful in the glow of dusk.
‘But you have your voice back, Ruth.’ I smile down at her but she does not return it. ‘The muteness is cured!’
‘Yes, Weed. I have the use of my voice. But I am afraid to speak to you.’ She looks guiltily.
‘Because you abandoned me in that strange chamber?’
‘That is one of the many wicked acts I have committed, Weed. I could always talk. There was no muteness; Malina forced the whole degrading lie onto me to get influence over you. I had been with her for so long, I did not resist.’ She is crying again.
‘I can’t blame you for being deceived and manipulated as I was. I am a grown man and you are only a child, Ruth.’
‘But I was part of the deception.’
‘And where is Malina now?’
‘I don’t know.’ She looks pained. ‘Oh, Weed! It was terrible. No sooner had we left the island than Malina made one of her terrible sacrifices. The fire burned so brightly around her and I was scared. I am always scared when the frenzy takes her. And I am ashamed to say that there is something enticing about that power; I get caught up in it dreadfully. Like on the heath where we first saw you and later, in that damned forest. I cannot bear to think of what we did there.’ The child’s voice is reduced to a whisper. ‘And of what other crimes I have committed while in her charge.’
‘Things change, Ruth. You can make amends for the wrong you do. You are helping Hannah in her work now.’
‘No. Do not mitigate my crimes!’ There is anger in her voice, but directed at herself, not me. I do not think I have ever beheld a child with such an old soul; her eyes are streaming. ‘The evil that I have committed with Malina is not confined to the past. What she might do now I fear to think! When she ate the strand of that root, her mind–’ Ruth heaves deep in her throat. ‘I saw her!’ She falls to the ground. ‘I–!’
‘Ruth!’ I lift her into my arms. ‘Stop it. Whatever you saw or did is finished and done with. Don’t think on regrets and pain. Malina is gone. Just be here now with me. I will help you.’
She nuzzles into me, clinging hard. ‘Do you swear?’
‘I do. For always.’ A chilling wind blows around us. ‘Come, Ruth. Let us go inside out of the cold.’
I carry her through the wide hall of the Keep and we ascend the Grand Staircase to the room prepared for me. I lay Ruth on the bed and heat some water over a fire as it burns in the hearth.
‘I’m sorry I have no Tea.’ I say handing her a cup.
She accepts the warm drink and I sit on the bed beside her. ‘Thank you, Weed. Hannah has Tea in her bundle but she is tending to the Lady.’
‘Tell me, do you display the same aptitude in plant lore for Hannah as you did for me at Soutra Aisle?’
Talking of her good work, Ruth’s cares seem to lift and she takes on the bearing of a child once more. ‘Oh yes. I have not forgotten your lessons and I have learned a deal more about all the poisons and healing herbs thereabouts. Sister Agie has taught me much and I seem to have a way with that garden. It favours me. All of that began with you, Weed.’
That makes me smile. ‘Perhaps it is not just destruction that I bring after all.’
A sharp rap on the door interrupts us and I look up to see Hannah bound cheerfully into the room. ‘My! Isn’t this grand! Nicer than my old house at Fala. Wouldn’t you say so, dear Ruth?’
‘Anywhere with a bed is fine luxury to me.’ Ruth grins at Hannah. ‘Is the Lady well?’
‘Aye. Just a bit jittery with her first child. The baby will come around midsummer and her father-in-law is willing to indulge her every concern. With any luck we’ll be rich by then.’ She holds up a coin purse and laughs. ‘But there are other careworn ladies about this castle in a spot of trouble, and with fewer means to ameliorate them. Oh! A kettle! How wonderful!’ Hannah refills the boiler from a pitcher and throws in a large bunch of Black Cohosh and Motherwort. She looks at me. ‘I think you can guess what I mean. I have asked those ladies to attend here for their doses. But I rather think that the presence of a man would put them off.’
‘I can administer to the women if you like, Hannah.’ Ruth offers. ‘Why don’t you and Weed take a turn in the grounds? The moon is full and the air is not too cold. From your greeting in the courtyard I guess that you would like to spend a moment together.’
‘Oh, Ruth! You are so clever for a child. What do you say, Weed?’ Before I have time to answer, Hannah is leading me to the door. Her exuberance is infectious and I find myself laughing with her as we stumble down the staircase, falling through the hall and into the gardens. Dark shades of blue and green shine under the full moon and Hannah pulls me through the growing beds until the lights of the Keep are distant twinkles like the stars above us.
Finally she stops and turns to me. ‘Dear Weed, I’m sorry I took so long. Those poor serving girls are too amorous for their own good!’ She puts her hand to her mouth to cover a timid smile. She is filled with nervous energy. A momentous pause grows between us. It swells to fill the whole garden until, heedless, Hannah bounds towards me and kisses me on the lips. Unsteady, I stumble backwards, tripping over my own feet. I fall into the mud and she lands in a heap on top of me, laughing again. ‘Sorry, Weed. I hope I didn’t hurt you.’
‘Not at all.’ I untangle myself from under her and get to my feet before helping her off the ground..
She looks at me askance, dusting herself down and picking grass from her skirts. ‘So. You are welcomed by the Duke and given free reign of the Castle itself. How marvellous for you.’ She takes my hand and threads it through her arm before putting on a plummy voice. ‘You simply must show me around your home. How quaint it would be to play Duchess to your Duke.’ Kicking her skirts out ahead of her as she strides around me, twirling on the spot, she makes me burst out laughing. ‘Aha! I knew that you could laugh. Though it’s the first I’ve seen of it.’
‘I know how to laugh as well as any man. Though only a fool laughs at nothing.’
‘Utter nonsense, Weed. You’ve got to laugh. It’ll make you feel better than any herbal brew or tonic.’
‘What about your young ladies who beg for help to carry off the fruits of springtime love? They require more than laughter to escape from their predicament, I dare say.’
‘I dare say you’re right. Indeed a little too much laughter and giggling got them into that position to start with. But you needn’t worry about associating with me, Weed.’ She takes my hand from the crook of her arm and places it on her waist. ‘I may play in that green garden to the limits of my desire. Stoneseed Root, Smartweed Leaves and Rutin are a delicious and nutritious measure to prevent the preventable. But then you know all about it, Weed. I must introduce such plants to sir Duke’s greenhouse. It is so much nicer to resolve problems before they arise.’
‘Your knowledge of the gardens is a boon to your clients.’
‘Ah, Boone! Do you remember him? Delivered by sweetest Ruth.’
Hannah is such a carefree spirit, the wa
y her mind swings from one thought to another without pause. It is as if every idea sparks within her a simple delight. Her nature could not be more distinct from the subtle connivance of Malina. Seeing her under the moonlight, in her simple dress and talking so charmingly, I cannot resist the impulse to kiss her. My hands find the small of her back and I draw her to me.
‘My, Sir Weed! You burn so hotly. Have you been at the growhouse’s treasures as well?’ She beams up at me.
My lips graze against hers and I whisper. ‘I must confess I have savoured Borrachero today in that great glass wonder.’
‘How perfect for you. Do you have any more?’ She holds me around my waist and returns my light kisses.
‘In my pocket belt I have kept a fruit or two.’ I am grinning at her in the half-light.
Her eyes sparkle and her red wavy hair dances over her face and shoulders. ‘Then I must find it.’ She smiles as her hands travel gently from around my waist, creeping under the waistline of my trousers. Her fingers slide softly to my hip and then drift across my pelvis. She lets her hands linger there, brushing lightly against me, and I gasp in pleasure. She murmurs. ‘I think I’ve found it.’
I sigh through my lips. ‘A little to the left.’
Her fingers move deliberately against my skin and when she finds the pocket belt her hands delve within. She lets her fingers loiter there, feeling me through the thin fabric. ‘What’s this?’ She asks.
I kiss her again. ‘You know what it is.’
‘It feels like a pod of seeds. But it’s big.’
‘No love. Don’t eat them. The fruit instead.’ She smoothes her hand across my thigh until she murmurs happily and draws the yellow fruit from my pocket. She steps away from me and places it in her mouth, arching her long pale neck up to the night sky. Closing her eyes in pleasure, I watch the line of her delicate jaw as she chews and swallows. Smacking her lips together she laughs and returns to my embrace.
Under the pale Moon her skin is milk-white, like mine, but at my touch it flushes hot and red. Malina seemed ghostly and insubstantial in the light of that same shining Moon, her small frame thin and strange. Hannah’s beauty by contrast is real and natural; her body is honest and roundly curved. I kiss her neck and the taste is pure and earthy, heady as Lavender. In the clean breeze, the aroma of her hair is alive with her scent, a sweet tribute to her body.
I take her chemise in my hands and draw it over her head, clumsily catching it on her chin. I look at Hannah’s face through the thin white linen and her smile broadens to a bright giggle. I teasingly kiss her through the fabric. She takes my hand in hers, guiding my fingers to her chin, and we free the caught cloth together. As the chemise sweeps over her head, her exquisite face and wild flowing hair are revealed to me all at once.
‘You’re radiant, Hannah,’ I say as she looks fondly at me, an intimate glance to show that she enjoys every natural fumble and foolishness as much as I.
My heart is beating fast now and I grasp Hannah’s skirt with trembling hands. She takes them in her own and whispers ‘Here, let me,’ and with a touch of her fingers the garment is loose and lies on the floor at our feet. She leans her naked softness into mine, kissing me gently, and with her hands on my waist, she guides me to the grass beneath us. She expertly unbuttons my coarse shirt, lifting my torso off the ground, before removing it from my shoulders and throwing it aside. Lying on my chest, she puts her ear to my heart. ‘I can hear it beating, Weed. Beating fast. That’s a good sign.’
She leans up, displaying her soft round breasts to me, and I watch her, admiring with eagerness the contours of her body. Trills of her red hair fall loosely about her shoulders and neck. The sight kindles a great desire within me and I take her head in my hands and study her face, her pale freckled skin, her deep eyes and full red lips. My fingers move to her waist and I spin us both around, until she lies with her back to the grass and me on top. My hand reaches for my trousers but she stops me. ‘Slow down, Weed. Can you feel that?’
I lift myself off her, smiling. ‘What do you feel?’
She breathes in deeply, her breasts rising, and looks up at me. ‘Spring has come, Weed. Everything is growing and full of life. Isn’t it wonderful? Everything to come.’ She lets her fingers dance along my chest, drawing fine circles up and down the ridges of my torso. Her hands curl around my back, where she plays them lightly along my spine until she reaches my hard shoulders. ‘We have all the time in the world.’ She kneads the taught muscles of my neck, making me quiver and shake. I twist my head and kiss her slim wrist, pale in the moonlight. Her fingernails graze down my spine once more and when she reaches the hem of my waistband she lets them brush beneath it.
I lean down and taste her lips again as she laughs up at me. ‘Weed, you are so cool to the touch. I feel as though I am burning up.’ The sound of her voice trembling deep in her throat arouses me and I can hold back no longer. I kiss her strongly then as she finally unbuttons my trousers and pulls them to my knees. I lie closely upon her, but she checks me, grinning. ‘No, Weed. Remove your trews and be free.’
I stare back at her, frowning, ‘Alright, I will.’ I stand up and kick off my boots before carefully taking my trousers from each foot and throwing them aside. ‘Satisfied?’ I declare loudly, laughing as my stiff cock bobs up and down in salute to the night air.
‘Better!’ She leans up to me, drawing me to the ground and we lie next to each other on the grass. She embraces me again, placing one hand on my thigh, and pressing me into her. As we make love, she takes my fingers and raises them to her breasts. We hold each other fast in rhythm and she winds her legs around mine until there is no distinction between us; we are one human body enfolding love into one another.
She smiles in pleasure as we rock together, hot sweat glinting off our bodies in the moonlight. We kiss and there is a storm of breath at our lips. Our tempo increases and she is burning up, the heat from her body evaporating our perspiration into the cool air. In our animal passion we steam into the night and finally we climax together, loudly and boldly. I look at Hannah and there are tears in her eyes. Her chest is heaving, gulping sweet cold air into her lungs. She holds me tight then and, with sweat dripping from our bodies, we breathe together in harmony.
My body is still tingling when she moves her mouth to my ear and whispers. ‘I love you, Weed! Since first I met you I’ve thought of nothing else but this moment.’ I stroke her wet hair out of her eyes and pull her closely into my arms. She tucks her body into mine and with crickets chirping around us and glow-flies circling in the air above we fade into a deep sleep together.
Chapter 25
A light drizzle falls in the garden to rouse me from slumber. I take the hand of my sleeping Hannah and remember her hot breath and body from only hours ago. The rain is fresh against my skin, the moon is high and full, and lying on the grass I feel happy once more. Hannah’s hand is cool to the touch and I think that she should not be out in the Green world so late; she is not like me, impervious to the elements. I quickly dress myself and gather Hannah’s skirt and chemise to my chest before lifting her naked body into my arms. She is light as a feather and her smooth skin glows in the moonlight. Looking down at her I notice that her mouth is drawn up into an almost comical grin. I kiss her sleeping lips.
They are cold. Too cold. I bring her mouth to my ear, listening, but there is no sound. There is no draught of hot breath issuing. A tightness grips the back of my throat. I stare at her lips. They have lost their red lustre. They appear almost blue in the half-light. I frantically lay her back onto the grass and feel her chest, searching for a heartbeat. But I cannot find one. ‘Hannah?’ I cry but the cold breeze steals the word from my lips. ‘Hannah!’ But there is no reply. What is happening here? Tendrils of fear crawl through my body, freezing me from the ground up. Panic rises: what has happened to my girl? I grab sweet Hannah from where she lies and hold her in my arms. Numbness blots my senses. I look to the Keep. It is at the end of a long dark tunnel. My legs f
eel like listless blocks of lumpen flesh. I beg them to move. I will them to action. I force them to run.
I sprint for the stone edifice looming before me and with tears blurring my vision I curse the distance between us. The world is falling apart, shuddering and quaking as my hammering strides punish the ground beneath me. All I can hear is the sound of rushing blood in my ears and the thud of my boots on the earth. I strain desperately. I tear in the night for what seems like an age until I finally crash through the Keep door and roar to anyone who will hear. ‘Help! Help! Stetson! Anyone! Someone! Help me!’
The embers of a fire are burning in the hearth of the great chamber and I haul Hannah to it, laying my beauty near the red glowing coals. ‘Dear God, please! Let her be alive!’ I stab the fire with a poker and hurl wooden logs onto it. I drag Hannah’s cold body towards the stoking flame. ‘No! No! No!’ Her skin is dusky in the glare of the fireplace and I try to rub colour into her cheeks.
‘Who is this? What is here?’ The same two guards from before rush into the hall and down to the fire’s side. One takes hold of Hannah’s bare, cold hand.
‘Don’t touch her!’ I scream at them, spittle flying from my lips. I cover her naked body with her clothes and groan miserably. ‘Find help! Dear God! Find help!’
Moments later Stetson arrives in the chamber carrying a torch of his own. ‘Dear heaven. It is Sister Hannah! What have you done to her?’
I cradle her head in my hands, my tears streaming onto her pale cheek. I look up at Stetson. ‘Help her!’ My voice is cracked and small in the great hall.
‘Get the Housekeeper! And the nurse! Run, you muds!’ As the guards flee the wretched scene Stetson sets his torch in a sconce by the fire and crouches next to me. He holds Hannah’s hand gently. ‘Oh, Weed. Oh, Weed. She is so cold. And that ghastly grin on her lips!’
I rock her in my arms and look down at her beautiful still face. I stroke Hannah’s high, pale forehead and I know that she is dead. My voice grinds with pain. ‘Oh, Hannah! Why do you say you love me and now you leave me?’
Weed: The Poison Diaries Page 15