What did her wolf want then? She knew…and refused to hear it.
Hollis.
Her wolf instantly perked up.
No. She pushed back.
He glanced at her, briefly, his mussed copper curls and the stubble on his strong jaw distracting. And appealing. He hadn’t had time to shower and shave since their outing this morning. Her wolf had enjoyed every second of that run, partly because he was with her.
All she had to do was close her eyes to visualize one very good, very impressive, very large reason to take him to bed.
She breathed deep, letting the mix of pine trees, sweat, and Hollis flood her senses. It was a delicious scent, heady and rugged. His shirtsleeves were rolled back, revealing the shift and flex of his muscled forearms as he reached across the map. A damning, wonderful, fluid heat pooled between her legs.
“Can you help us?” Finn asked.
Hollis’s green gaze locked with hers. Blazing tingles ran along each nerve, stirring the heat into something electric and molten. What she wouldn’t give to know what his wolf was thinking. Her wolf and her body wanted one thing. But taking Hollis to bed had consequences that extended beyond a few hours of sensual pleasure. Her wolf’s preoccupation with the good doctor was dangerous. Besides, even if she was willing to risk it, Hollis might not be eager to have her drag him to her room. No matter how tempting the idea was. And it was. Very.
“Ellen?” Finn’s voice startled her.
“What?” She sat upright, tearing her gaze from Hollis. Her breath escaped on a long, shuddering breath.
“You came here for Jessa.” Finn glanced at the tiny baby in his arms. “I am forever in your debt. We’ve never talked about what happens now.”
The warmth in her stomach turned to ice. “It’s time for me to go.”
Finn’s brow furrowed. “You want to leave?”
“It’s what we agreed to. I live by my word.” Had he expected her to ask to stay? She glanced around the room, trying to decipher the expressions of the pack. They didn’t want her here. They viewed her as an Other. True or not, she suspected she was and always would be an outsider to them. And her wolf, it’s affection for Hollis, would fade once they left.
“So you won’t help us?” Mal asked, his tone hard.
“I thought I had? With Cyrus. And Jessa.” Her annoyance flared instantly. Mal was a fool. Now she understood why he irritated her. His short fuse reminded her of William. Ready for the fight. Ready to act. But slow to think and plan. She only hoped Olivia would not suffer because of him.
“You have.” Olivia grabbed Mal’s hand. “And we are all thankful for you, Ellen.”
Mal stared at his mate, his mouth pressed shut. He seemed to love his mate in a way that offered hope. Perhaps he’d love her enough to listen to her.
“You were the one who said Cyrus wouldn’t give up.” Dante turned to Finn. “She can’t leave. She knows how to get here. She can lead them here. Sorry, Ellen, but we all know what he’s willing to do to get information. Even if you don’t want to betray us, you will.” He pushed off the table, staring around the room.
The call to fight warmed her blood. “You can’t keep me here against my will. I know you to be a man of honor, Finn.”
“I’d like to discuss this calmly,” Finn said, holding his hand out. He shot Dante a look.
“There is nothing to discuss. I’m not your enemy.” Her gaze settled on little Diana, sleeping peacefully in the crook of Finn’s arm. She ached, the flood of memories gripping her by the throat. Did they really think so little of her? That she would risk her life to save this baby only to hand her over or endanger her? Never. If that’s what they truly thought, she’d already stayed too long. “I would never give you or your children up,” she managed, sadness and anger all but choking her. She pushed herself from the armchair and hurried from the room before they saw her pain.
“I’ll go.” She heard Hollis say.
“No,” she called back. “I’ve no need for a babysitter.”
But his steady footfalls followed anyway. She waited, slamming the door in his face at the last possible moment. It was petty, but the surprise on his face was rewarding nonetheless. Her forehead rested against the thick wooden door, eyes pressed shut, breath coming in short bursts.
“Ellen.” Hollis’s voice was soft. “Let me in.”
She stared at the door, willing the memories crashing over her, pulling her away and tearing at her heart. Tiny Isabel. So soft and sweet. Innocent to the dangers of their world. She’d had her daughter too short a time. What would she be like now if Cyrus had not found them? Her mind wouldn’t show her, her dreams never ventured beyond Isabel’s and William’s deaths—the same day she had been struck by whatever had left the corded scar along her head.
They should have had their vengeance by now. Ellen should have found a way to avenge them. It was time. They would have their vengeance, and Diana and Oscar would be safe.
“Ellen.” Hollis’s voice was muffled through the thick door. “Let me in, please.”
Better to embrace her anger than drown in her sorrow. The doorknob was solid in her grip, but she nearly ripped the door off its hinges when she yanked it wide. “Worried I’ll climb out the window?” Her anger almost choked her.
“No.” He frowned. “Of course not. They don’t know you the way I do.”
“The way you do?” she repeated, his calm dismissal smothering some of her fury. “You know nothing about me.”
“You’re not mad at me,” he said. “Dante’s acting like a dick. I agree. But he’s scared. They all are.”
“Of me?” She crossed her arms over her waist.
“No, of what you can bring down on the pack.” He pushed into her room and closed the door behind him. “To be honest, I don’t understand why you’re going back. If you won’t stay, why not go someplace new. Start again?”
“Start again?” She swallowed down a bitter laugh. He was right, she wasn’t angry with him. But she was angry. At the world. “Not yet.”
“Not yet?” He studied her so long and silently that Ellen began to think the conversation was over. His question surprised her. “Cyrus will let you live?”
She’d imagined her homecoming a dozen different ways. Each time she was successful. Cyrus was dead. Ripping off his head. Tearing out his throat. Slicing through his stomach. Her promise was honored. She’d made peace long ago with the fact that she wouldn’t survive. “Do you care?”
“Of course I care.” His surprise was disarming, and oddly adorable.
She smiled. “I’ve lived enough, I think.”
His face paled. Poor Hollis. Instead of living this life, he’d studied it. Buttoned-up in his lab coats, surrounded by every possible gadget and resource, he knew nothing of his heritage.
While he sought to destroy the very thing that made her who she was, she craved revenge against the man who’d nearly broken her. It was all that mattered to her now. The species would go on without the constant fear of Cyrus and his pack. Hollis couldn’t understand that until he accepted what he was.
“I will pick my end, not stand by, wringing my hands, and worrying over every shadow.” She drew herself upright. “If it is my time, it is my time. There is nothing left for me but revenge, Hollis.”
“You want children,” he argued, his green eyes flashing. “If you didn’t, this wouldn’t matter to you.” The tick in his jaw surprised her. As did the flare of his nostrils. She’d upset him.
And it humbled her. “I want a great many things. Oh, Hollis, you have no idea.” Her fingers stroked his hair from his temple. “But I want nothing more than his death.”
His hand circled her wrist. “Then stay. On that, we are all united.”
“You want me to stay?” she asked, hoping to divert him. He’d never understand why she must do this alone. He wasn’t driven by emotion and passion. They were alien concepts, things too insubstantial to warrant further investigation. “Tell me why?”
He
frowned, swallowing. “Because what you’re planning won’t end well.”
“For Cyrus,” she agreed.
“For you. Dammit, Ellen, you can’t give him that. He doesn’t deserve you.” The hint of a growl made her insides tighten. “You don’t need to fight alone.”
“I won’t have anyone else’s blood on my hands.”
“Who says this is your choice?” His eyes narrowed, the tightening of his jaw doing incredibly delicious things to her body. This Hollis, angry and rigid and demanding, her wolf adored. “If Finn knows this is what you’re planning, you won’t be going anywhere.”
She was too intrigued by the effect he was having on her body and her wolf to get angry. It had been years since she’d needed a man’s touch, needed the taste of his lips, and the growl of his release. But, right now, she trembled for this man. Needed what only he could give her.
The moment she realized it, her heart shuddered to a stop.
He stared at her, unguarded. Beyond his anger and frustration, he burned…for her. His hunger was undeniable.
Without thought, she pressed herself against him—pressed them both against the door—and brushed his lips with hers. Featherlight. At first. Then more. She needed more. While she was reeling, her wolf reacted. Her hands fisted in his hair, tugging his head down to her. Her lips sealed against his, exploring the feel of that full lower lip. His breath fanned her cheek. Unsteady and rapid and harsh. Her gaze met his as his lips parted beneath hers.
She shuddered, gasping with pure pleasure as he spun her against the door and pinned her there with his hip. His hands stroked up her sides, cradling her breasts firmly while his tongue slid between her lips. On and on, his sweet invasion made her drunk on him. Clinging to his shirt, arching into him, hoping he’d take what she so willingly offered. His hands, his growl, his touch—he was pure bliss.
And then he was gone.
“Jesus Christ, Ellen.” He stared at her in complete confusion.
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But she was too caught up in the thrum of lust to form a coherent response.
“That was…” He stood straighter, pulling himself together and putting distance between them in the process. “I don’t know what that was. But it won’t happen again.” He was staring at her mouth, gasping.
She licked her lips, pleased by the instantaneous hitch in his breath. “Are you sure?”
Chapter Nine
“I’m sure.” No, he wasn’t sure. What the fuck had just happened? One second, he was pissed as hell at her calm willingness to sacrifice herself to the motherfucking Others, then the next he couldn’t stop touching her. She’d filled his hands, his senses, and stripped away whatever willpower was left. All that mattered was her and the thrum between them. He had to have her, needed her, desperately. To claim her—to bury himself inside of her.
In the three feet that separated them, he could make out the rapid beat of her heart and the husky rasp of her breath. Her scent. Her arousal. For him. She craved him, too. And, dammit, he wanted her. His hands fisted at his sides. If he reached for her, he wouldn’t stop.
She pushed off the door and paced the room, the quick glance between him and her bed too much.
“I’m going.” He forced himself from her room and closed the door behind him. Then he stood there, staring at the door like an idiot. He’d kissed her. No, he’d fucking mauled her. Against a door. A door that he could open easily. Would she be right there, waiting for him? Would she welcome him?
Her scent had been invitation enough. He groaned, his head falling forward to thump against the closed door. The echo of her breasts filling his hands. The tips of her nipples hard against his palms. She’d been so soft against him, yielding. She never yielded.
“Fuck,” he whispered, his fingers biting into the wood.
The door wasn’t enough of a barrier. He wanted to finish what they’d started, to lose himself in her, but knew that would be the biggest mistake of his life. One he’d likely never recover from. With a groan, he spun on his heel and walked back down the hall, around the corner, and into Finn’s office. If he didn’t do something, he’d turn back to her room. Being surrounded by the pack might help, too.
“Everything okay?” Finn asked when he entered.
He nodded. If he was lucky, they’d believe him.
“Did you talk to her?” Olivia asked. “I know she’s not officially one of the pack, but she’s not an Other. If she goes back—”
“They’ll kill her,” Mal finished.
“You guys can’t seriously trust her?” Dante was unapologetic. “Just because her eyes are different doesn’t mean she’s not one of them. She’s been living with them for years.”
“Like Tess,” Hollis snapped. “But we’re considering turning her. Tess, who has done unforgivable things. When Ellen has only helped us.”
The room fell quiet, all eyes on him. Because he sounded unhinged. His voice trembled, almost a borderline growl.
Finn cleared his throat. “I trust her. I trust her with my children’s life. And the safety of this pack.” His face grew thoughtful.
“She’s too careful.” Mal nodded. “There’s a reason she’s going back.”
A reason that sent him out of control. “Cyrus,” Hollis said, clearing his throat. “She can’t stop until he’s dead. It’s personal.” He glanced at each of them. “She talks when she sleeps. Her nightmares—Cyrus is always there. She’s going back to kill him.” He glared at Dante. “And protect us.”
Dante’s gaze fell from his.
Mal snorted. “That’s not her job.”
“She feels differently,” Hollis argued. “Death sentence or not, she’s going back. She’s determined to finish this. For our pack, our wolves.”
“No.” Olivia’s voice broke. “You can’t let her.”
Mal’s nod was tight.
“Fuck,” Dante’s whisper was soft. “I didn’t know.”
“Your time with them was hell on earth.” Finn looked at Mal. “That’s been her life for who knows how long. She has every right to want vengeance,” Finn spoke calmly. “But she is one of us now.”
“How do we convince her of that?” Anders asked. “No offense to Ellen, but she’s downright prickly when she wants to be.”
“Being nice to her is a good place to start,” Olivia said, elbowing Mal in the side. “She’s tough because she has to be.”
Hollis couldn’t argue with Anders’s description or Olivia’s insight. But the Ellen he’d pressed against the door not five minutes ago was anything but prickly. He cleared his throat, moving across the room to pour himself a glass of water.
“Sounds like Hollis has an in.” The amusement in Mal’s voice drew all eyes his way.
“I do?” He took a long sip of his water.
“Um, yea. You’re sleeping with her.” Dante sat on the edge of the desk, grinning when Hollis choked on his water.
Anders chuckled. “Never pegged you for being so adventurous.”
“Is she your mate?” Finn asked.
He set his cup down with more force than he intended. “I’m not sleeping with her.”
They waited.
“She’s fallen asleep in the lab.” He cleared his throat.
“Then why is she always touching you?” Anders added. “She’s nicest to you.”
“He’s nice to her,” Olivia explained, her hazel gaze searching his. “I don’t think she’s had many people be nice to her.”
Hollis stared into his glass. She wouldn’t thank him for sharing what little he knew with them. But he wasn’t done. “We can’t let her leave,” he said. “If she goes, she dies.”
“You’re asking me to keep her here?” Finn asked.
Hollis nodded, ignoring the variety of expressions the pack wore. They could interpret his request however they wanted. As long as Ellen didn’t leave, he was happy.
“You’re not sleeping with her…yet.” Mal chuckled.
Olivia punched him in
the arm.
“I don’t know who to feel sorrier for.” Anders winked at him. “You for having to tame the wolf. Or her for having to break yours free.”
“Her, definitely her.” Dante chuckled.
“Can we stick to the facts?” Hollis snapped. “It’s not about getting laid, goddamn it. It’s about saving her life.”
The room fell silent again.
Finn nodded. “She’s not going anywhere, Hollis.”
Hollis slumped into the easy chair then. It was easier to breathe and think, knowing she wasn’t immediately in harm’s way. She’d fight this, fight him, but the pack would have his back. He had to find a way to show her this was where she belonged. And, together, they could beat Cyrus without anyone else dying.
When baby Diana started to fuss, Finn headed out. “Hollis,” he called, leading him down the hallway and into the living room. “How did the conference call go?”
The conference call he’d almost forgotten since his run-in with Ellen. He drew in a slow, calming breath. “It went well, but I’d like to be there when they implement the new protocols.”
He paused. “I’d like to fly to San Antonio for a few days.”
Finn nodded. “When?”
The sooner he went, the sooner he could come back. “Is tomorrow too soon?”
Finn shook his head. “That’s fine. Take Ellen with you. The break might do her some good. We’ve a full week until the next full moon.”
Hollis sucked in a deep breath. Leaving her made him…anxious. But he and Ellen, alone in the residential hotel he called home, was dangerous. Now that she’d woken up whatever the fuck this was, he had no idea how to control it. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
Finn looked at him. “Why?”
How the hell was he supposed to answer that? “I can’t watch her and work. It would be easy for her to leave.”
“Mal and Olivia can go with you,” Finn answered quickly. “Pick up some things. Have a little break. Give us a little break from them.” He smiled.
Protecting the Wolf's Mate (Blood Moon Brotherhood) Page 10