by Jack Lewis
“Think about what you’re saying,” I said. “What are you searching for, Darla? Some kind of utopia? It doesn’t exist. Every day you spend with your heart beating and lungs breathing are a victory.”
I looked up at the people around me.
“Surely you don’t all agree with her?” I said.
“We’ll have a vote,” said Darla. “The ten of us. To stay or leave.”
As the morning wore on we debated back and forth until my head began to throb. I threw the same arguments at Darla and she spat words back at me. Other residents would chip in from time to time, most of them supporting Darla.
When it came time to vote, I looked at the faces of the people in the circle and I felt empty. I didn’t see any sympathy in their eyes, and I knew that this was a vote I was sure to lose. That meant that the people would follow Darla, and they would leave camp. They’d follow her to their deaths.
Just before the vote, one man raised his head to speak. He had stayed silent throughout the meeting, but now Reggie looked like he had something to stay. I knew this wouldn’t work in my favour. Reggie’s son had been brutally killed while in camp, and I had personally exiled his wife. Under my watch, Reggie’s family had been torn apart.
“We’re making a decision that will change us forever,” he said, his voice croaky. “The kind of thing we need to get right. We need to. I’ve lost as much as anyone here.”
He looked down at the ground and paused for a few seconds as if he was thinking about what he had lost. From somewhere across camp came the pathetic sound of someone retching. The birds in the forest were silent.
Reggie looked back up.
“And even with everything I’ve lost, I still follow Kyle. There are kinds of men who can keep themselves alive in a world like this, and then there are the kinds who allow others to survive. Kyle doesn’t just look after himself. He does what he needs to do, and he does it because he’s the only person with the resolve that we need. I’d follow him anywhere. If he said we need to go, I’d leave. And if he says we should stay, then I’ll stay.”
The circle took in Reggie’s words. Coming from a man who had lost everything, they seemed to carry weight. I thought of my role in the fall of Reggie’s world, and I felt guilt weigh down on me until I thought I would crumple to the ground. I didn’t deserve his support, but I needed it.
Finally Stacey broke the silence. Her blonde curls swirled in the gust.
“I vote to stay,” she said.
There were murmurs of assent, nods of agreement. Within ten minutes all the votes were cast. Seven voted to stay in camp, and only three voted to leave. I had won. I knew that I should have felt relief, but instead I was tense. It was a hollow victory.
“Fine,” said Darla. “It’s on your heads. I want you to all remember this day. When you’re lying on the floor spitting blood. When the infected tear apart your families. Remember what you did today.”
It was a victory, but not one I would celebrate. I knew deep down that we had to stay here. For now at least, it was the safest place we could be. After today though, I was aware that my power was slipping. It would only take one thing to go wrong, one more person to die, and everything would crumble.
If we travelled, then we’d die. The cities and towns were full of infected. The food in the supermarkets was rotting, and the water systems were corrupted years ago. Out here, nestled in the greens of nature, we had a chance. Yet if something were to go wrong, the knife edge would turn and it was me who it would cut first. Some people needed only the tiniest excuse to start following Darla.
I wouldn’t give it to them. This had to work.
We saw Lou walking toward us from across camp as we were about to leave. She took strong strides across the grass. Her face looked troubled. When she finally stood in front of us, everyone in the circle looked at her. Lou took a deep breath.
“There’s been another body,” she said.
The group murmured. Some of them looked to Darla, others to me. A wave of nausea hit me.
Lou carried on.
“It’s a kid this time.”
Chapter 10
Over the next two days we did what came natural in the face of a crisis. We turned our heads from it. I kept myself occupied with the organisation of camp. The morning after the body was found, I rounded up as many people as I could who weren’t sick and we spent hours chopping the grass in the fields. I liked the protection that overgrown grass gave, because it helped shield the camp from passing eyes. The problem was that strange eyes rarely came near by camp, and even if they did, most Wild dwellers avoided large crowds. It seemed better all round that we cut the overgrowth. If stalkers were to blame for the killings, it made little sense to give them thick patches of grass to sneak through.
In the absence of the necessary equipment -there weren’t many lawnmowers to be found – we were forced to use scythes. Reggie, Lou, Mel and I worked our way along the outskirts of camp with scythes that someone had found in a nearby barn, swinging at the grass as it bristled in the breeze.
At one point I stopped. I put my hand to my head, and when I pulled it away my index finger was coated in sweat. I watched the others wield their scythes under the shadow of the trees and I felt a cold shiver run through me. In the dim light, under an unfriendly sky, my friends worked with the tool of the Reaper, and their faces were grim and heavy.
The camp started to recover from illness. Tents doors were unzipped and people stepped out and stared into daylight, sometimes for the first time in days. There was just one death through sickness, and that had been because he had a heart condition before he even got ill. It was one death too many, but privately some believed that we were lucky that the number didn’t grow.
***
“You look like you’re about to drop,” said Mel.
Later on, we were all sat in my tent. The door flap was shut but it was still cold inside. Every so often the green fabric billowed from the force of the wind. Dawn hadn’t long rose over the third morning after the newest body, and despite the early hour, my tent was full.
For once each chair was occupied, but this wasn’t one of our usual meetings. Mel sat across from me. She wore a green khaki shirt with the German national flag sewn into the right sleeve just below the arm. Her hair was tied back and her face was clean, but some of her fingernails hid flecks of dried blood.
Next to her was Lou. Her hair was greased, and she wore a thick black jumper. The neck of it rose up to her chin, covering her tattoos and threatening to swallow her face. It was the thickest piece of clothing I’d ever seen her wear, and I wondered where she had gotten it. Maybe a fashion boutique had somehow opened up without me realising. I’d always suspected that capitalism could even withstand the apocalypse.
Charlie and Reggie filled the other chairs. Reggie had a faraway look in his eyes, though the skin around his left eye was healing, with the blue tint making way for a rosy pink. Charlie glanced at the tent door from time to time as if he couldn’t wait to get back to his room so that he could carry on his work.
The last member of our meeting was Ben. The boy sat in the corner on my bed playing with his necklace, twisting the beads back and forth along the string. His shoes were lined up on the floor below him and his legs were crossed. On his right foot, there was a hole in his sock and his big toe poked out. His toenail was nearly an inch longer than it should have been, and I made a mental note to make sure they were cut. With Alice gone there was nobody to tell him about this kind of thing, and I was left feeling inadequate about my role as protector.
A gust of wind hit the tent and made it bulge inwards. It looked as though some unseen force was pressing against the side and trying to push its way in. I wondered if the weather ever brightened here, or if the valley was just a trap for cold gusts and clouds full of rain.
“We need to talk about the body,” I said.
Mel glanced over at Ben.
“Go wait outside,” she told him.
Even th
ough it was daylight, I didn’t feel comfortable having Ben out of my sight. I had left my responsibilities to others for too long, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. The latest body meant that everyone was on high alert. I didn’t want to take part in the panic that was rising around camp, but I felt paranoia settle over me.
“He might as well stay,” said Charlie. “He’s seen worse things than some of the adults around here.”
I leaned forward. I spoke in a quiet voice because I didn’t want my words to leave the tent.
“I’m beginning to think it isn’t stalkers. I mean, I can’t be certain. But there sure as hell isn’t a nest within ten miles of here, and I’m not willing to believe that stalkers get up in the night and commute to camp.”
Charlie sat with his hand cupping his chin. “We simply don’t know enough about them to ascertain that. For all we know, stalkers could travel across the whole country for their kills. This isn’t a known species, they’re a mystery. And their behaviour is just as mysterious.”
Lou sat forward. She crossed her arms in front of her chest in a posture that looked defensive.
“If not stalkers, then what?”
There was silence as we all considered the question. The wind seemed to die down until it was just a breeze gently blowing on the sides of the tent. Charlie glanced over at the door and then back at the floor.
The only sound was a gentle murmuring. I looked across the tent at Ben on my bed. With his index finger and thumb he slowly moved beads from one side of the necklace to the other. As he did so, his lips moved and made faint words that I couldn’t hear. I leaned forward and listened.
“….Dead God…with you I take….”
I snapped my head toward him. I stood up so quickly that the chair nearly fell behind me. Ben looked up and his eyes widened. He grabbed his necklace in his right hand and closed his fingers tightly around it.
“What did you say?” I asked.
Ben gulped.
“Nothing Kyle.”
Mel coughed.
“We gotta talk about the kid,” she said.
I looked at her. She’d put on weight. Not fat, but muscle. Being a butcher’s apprentice agreed with her.
“Spill it,” I said.
My heart was beating. There was something about Ben that was disconcerting. I felt that there were unspoken words that the people in my tent were holding back from me. I looked at them, meeting all of their eyes in turn. My heart began to pound.
“You don’t look too good,” said Lou. “Sit down before you have a heart attack.”
What was happening to me? I suddenly felt as if my forehead was drenched in sweat. It pooled on my skin and then poured down my face, but it was cold like ice water. My skin buzzed, and my vision blurred as if I was looking at everything cross-eyed.
A hand touched my shoulder and guided me a few steps back until I felt the hard seat of the chair under me.
“I’m okay,” I said, as my sight cleared. “Just tell me about Ben.”
“What do you mean?” said Mel.
“You said we have to talk about the kid.”
Mel leaned forward.
“I didn’t mean about him. I mean the body. This one was worse than the rest. The way it was opened up, I mean. Christ, it was worse than some of the animal carcasses after Gregor’s finished with them. There’s been a lot of talk about….”
As Mel talked I felt my vision start to blur again. My ears rang, as though someone had shot a gun next to me and the blast had shattered my ear drums. Cold hands slipped up and down my spine. Was this a heart attack? Lou had joked about my age, but maybe this kind of life was enough to kill me.
“I can’t breathe,” I said.
My throat felt as though it was closing. There were hands on my back, rubbing up and down. They moved around and settled on my shoulders. I twisted my head and saw Mel above me, staring at me through eyes shot with concern.
“Kyle?”
I took deep breaths. My hearing started to return, my vision corrected itself. I felt my throat open up again. After a few seconds my pulse had settled until it was approaching a normal pace. What the hell just happened?
Charlie stood up out of his seat. He grabbed his chair and dragged it over to the side of the tent.
“We better go,” he said. “Kyle needs sleep.”
“It’s morning. I’m not going to sleep.”
Hands squeezed my shoulder muscles in what I assumed was meant to be a relaxing way. From somewhere, Mel had developed a hell of a grip.
“It might be morning, but you’re an insomniac’s worst nightmare. Stop being action man and get some shut eye. Don’t worry Kyle; the camp will still be here when you wake up.”
The idea of sleep was a nice one, and I knew I needed it, but I couldn’t let myself believe the second part of Mel’s sentence. A big part of me worried that one day I would wake up, unzip my tent and then step outside to find an empty field. I worried that people would leave me in the night, and that I would be left with nothing but the barren Wilds.
I became aware of a shadow outside the tent.
“Better get the door,” I said.
Charlie looked at me with confused eyes. A second later, the tent started to open from the outside. The zipper traced its way around the door until finally the light of the day streamed in through the entrance. A familiar face stood there.
“Darla, what a horrible surprise,” said Lou.
It wasn’t just Darla. When we all left the tent and stepped outside, it seemed like half the camp was stood with her. Darla positioned herself at the front, a General with a mean face and crossed arms. The people behind her stood hesitantly, and most had pale skin. Some would not long have recovered from illness, so I was surprised to see them stood there as though they were an army.
“I won’t waste words,” said Darla.
“Good,” said Lou. “Your voice grates on me.”
Darla ignored Lou, instead focusing on me. I felt unsteady under her glare. The last thing I needed was to have another dizzy spell, especially not in front of Darla. That would have just proved what she already thought. It would have shown her how weak I was.
Mel stood beside me. She grabbed my shoulder, and I was glad of the contact. For a flicker of a second I remembered meeting her more than a year ago and saw flashes of how shy she had been back then. In the time that had passed it seemed she had grown in strength, while mine was beginning to ebb.
“This is it Kyle,” said Darla. Miles behind her, cast against an angry sky, were the jagged hills of an unwelcoming countryside. “I want change. Everyone else wants change. It’s time you accepted it.”
“Let’s talk about this,” said Reggie.
Darla shook her head.
“We’ve wasted too much time, and we’ve made our decision. Nobody will follow you, Kyle. And more importantly, we won’t stay. Today we’re going to prepare, and come first light the camp will disband.”
There was finality to her words, and I knew that everything was done. I felt cold all over and knew that I should do something, but at the same time I was aware how pointless it would be. I only had to look at the people stood behind Darla to know that they had all cast their lots with her.
In less than a day we would all be on our own. I couldn’t help but wonder how many of the people here would still be alive a year from then. The only chance we had was to stick together, but I had failed to keep things that way.
The breeze seemed to close in around me and wrap itself around my bones. Mel kept hold of my shoulder but her touch seemed weaker, muted as if she were miles away. I tried to think of the magic words that would turn this in my favour, but when I looked at the crowd before me, I knew there was nothing I could say.
“We won’t take everything, Kyle. I might be a bitch but I’m no monster. But you can’t come with us when we leave. Your road will split away from –”
There was a noise overhead. At first I thought it was the choppy g
ust of the wind, but it grew louder and louder until I couldn’t hear myself think. The noise raised something in me, a feeling that started as confusion but grew into recognition. I hadn’t heard anything like this in years. More than a decade, even.
One by one everyone lifted their heads and looked into the sky. The roaring sound drowned everything else out until it seemed to shake the whole valley. It grew until its decibels were loud enough for some of the people to put their hands to their ears.