by J. D. Rivera
“Should be sometime today. I can’t fucking wait to charge that bastard. I already know it’s Zimbow’s blood.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.”
I ran a hand through my hair as I leaned back in my chair. “Security cameras have him picking her up, her body was found on an interstate side road on the west side of the city with trauma to the head, and he has traces of blood in the cab of his truck.”
“Oh, I know. I’m just glad you were able to make out his tag from the camera footage.” He pulled his desk drawer open and took out a piece of candy. I wanted to punch him. Of all the candy in the world that he could’ve had, he had Laffy Taffy.
I glanced away from him and stared at the screen of my computer, not really looking at anything. “Yeah, well, he isn’t too smart. He thinks a quick clean up job would get rid of the DNA. And who doesn’t think about truck stops having cameras? If a woman wasn’t dead, it would be comical how stupid he is.”
“I know. Look, I gotta run. When you hear something, call me.”
I nodded and went back to staring at the computer screen. Images of Miranda underneath me, naked, flashed through my mind.
“Damn it!” I said to myself, just a little too loud.
“You okay?” David asked from a couple of desks down.
No, I wasn’t okay. I had sex with the sweetest, most beautiful girl in the world and then dropped her off like she meant nothing. “Yeah, I’m good.” I stood up and went in search of coffee.
I stepped into the break room and instantly regretted it. “Maria,” I said, greeting her.
“Aw, Brad, always so friendly.” She chuckled. “I guess some things never change.”
I poured some coffee into a cup. “Yeah, you mentioned that the other day. I don’t know why you think things would change in a matter of months. You’re still you and I’m still me.” I took a drink then tipped my cup in her direction before walking out.
“Hey,” she called from behind me.
I turned around. “Yeah?”
“How are you?”
The look of concern etching her face confused me. “I’m fine. Why are you asking?”
“You were shot just a few months ago.”
I had been shot in the shoulder while making an arrest in February. Most days, I forgot all about it, and I really didn’t think she would care enough to remember. It wasn’t like we were ever in love or anything, and we definitely were not friends. “I’m good. Thanks for asking.”
I went back to my desk and started working on another case. A male in his twenties had been found shot in a burning house ignited by gasoline and the neighbors claimed they saw nothing. I didn’t have a lot to go on.
In order to get my mind off Miranda and the Zimbow case, I decided to go question one of the neighbors again. He had been fidgety the last time I talked to him—he was hiding something.
I grabbed my stuff off my desk and left the station. I was three blocks away from the victim’s neighborhood when my phone rang.
“Nicholson.”
“I’ve got your results,” Tony, one of the forensic lab technicians, stated.
“What do you have?”
“It’s a match.”
“It’s Zimbow’s?” I began turning my truck around.
“Yep.”
“Thanks a lot, man”
“Not a problem,” he said and I disconnected the call.
I quickly called Rob to let him know about the match and drove back to the station. We had a lot of work to do in order to charge this scumbag.
***
After spending the rest of the day filing paperwork, interrogating, and formally charging the suspect, I was drained. I had always worked hard, but I had doubled my efforts since dropping Miranda off. And to top everything off, Natalie wouldn’t stop calling and texting me.
I dropped onto my bed as soon as I could and passed out. I was too tired to change or to fucking care.
The next morning, I went for a run, pushing through my exhaustion. When I got back to my apartment, I had two missed calls from Mackenzie.
Fuck.
I didn’t know whether I should call her back. What if Miranda had told her I had sex with her? Mackenzie was like my sister and Miranda was her best friend. I had made a complete mess out of the situation. All because I couldn’t stay away from the girl I knew was too young for me.
I hit the call button and prayed she had no clue.
“Hello.”
I swallowed thickly. “Hey, you called?”
“I’m going to head over to the diner to see your mom, do you want to come with me?”
She didn’t know. Thank goodness for small miracles. “What time? I have a lot of cases right now.”
“Eleven-thirty? My eleven o’clock appointment was canceled.”
“Sounds good,” I said, puffing out a breath.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just work stuff.” I hated lying to her, but it was the partial truth. “I’ll see you at eleven-thirty.”
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone and plopped down on the couch. I leaned my head back, running my hands over my scruff before shoving my fingers into my hair. I took a deep breath and tried to relax.
Miranda might only be nineteen, but she was still an adult. She also seemed to be keeping her mouth shut, which meant she was a mature nineteen-year-old adult. It was just sex between two consenting adults. There was nothing to be worried about.
Except the part where I treated her like shit.
I sighed as someone knocked on the door. I wasn’t in the mood for company and I had to leave to meet Mackenzie. I yanked open the door to see a very pissed off Natalie standing in front of me.
“Can I help you?” I guess she didn’t take the hint when I ignored her, so it was time to be an asshole. Perfect fucking timing.
“Yeah. You’ve been ignoring me.”
“And?”
“What the hell, Brad? I’ve called and texted you fifty times since Saturday. It’s Wednesday!”
“And some people would call that crazy.”
Her mouth dropped open and her eyes shot daggers at me right before her hand connected with my cheek. Damn. “You don’t get to treat me like this. I thought we had something going on and then you just ditch me off like trash.”
“We most definitely did not have something going on. I thought I had been clear about that the last time we talked.”
“So, what—”
“Nothing is ever going to happen between us. It was just sex.” I looked her up and down. “I thought you were used to that,” I said, closing the door. I don’t think I had ever been so disrespectful to a woman before, but the bitch had slapped me.
She started to mumble something but I completely shut the door and locked it. It was only ten-thirty in the morning and I already needed a beer.
After taking a shower and dressing, I grabbed everything I would need for work and headed out to meet Mackenzie. Once I was on the road, I turned on a random station. Nothin’ But a Good Time by Poison blared through the speakers and I wanted to bang my head against the steering wheel. Miranda’s favorite band.
I couldn’t escape her. I wanted to so fucking bad, but I didn’t at the same time. I never wanted to see her again, yet I wanted to drive to her apartment, strip her clothes off, bury myself deep inside her, and never leave.
I pulled up to the diner at exactly eleven-thirty, noticing Mackenzie’s SUV already parked. Once inside, I headed over to the booth in the corner we always sat in, ruffling her hair as I passed her to sit on the opposite side.
“Jerk,” she mumbled as she fixed her hair.
“I’ve missed you, too, kiddo.”
“I have missed you. I feel like I never see you anymore. All you do is work.”
I nodded. “I do work a lot, but you’re pretty busy playing house and going to school.”
“Playing house?” she repeated. “I don’t think I’m playing. I think I’m living
it.”
“Yeah, I guess you are. How’s my little girl?”
A grin spread across her face. “She’s good. She’s at home giving Hayes hell.”
“Giving Hayes hell? She is my favorite girl.” I nodded to Joan, our waitress, as she stepped up beside our booth. “Hi.”
“I haven’t seen the two of you in a while,” Joan remarked, getting her pen and paper ready.
“School’s been keeping me busy. How have you been?” Mackenzie asked.
“I’ve been good. Just working.” She glanced at me. “How are you, Detective?”
Noticing the tears in her eyes, I sprung to my feet. “Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” I asked, enveloping her in a hug. My mom had managed the diner for several years, which meant I knew most of the staff. The older waitresses were like adopted aunts to me.
She wiped her tears and patted my arm. “Oh, it’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but it’s not nothing.”
“We’re here,” Mackenzie stated as she squeezed Joan’s hand. Mackenzie was close to the staff as well, considering she had worked with them for over a year before she quit.
Joan shook her head. “Y’all kids are too sweet. It’s stupid really. My daughter called this morning to tell me she’s moving to Florida and it upset me. She got a wonderful job offer she couldn’t refuse, but I sure am going to miss her.”
“I’m sorry,” I said as I sat back down. I understood her sadness, but I was expecting something major to be wrong.
“I’m acting silly. It’s not like she had a health scare or anything.”
Mackenzie and I exchanged a look, both of us agreeing with Joan—she was being silly.
“What can I get y’all to drink?”
“Oh, I’ll have a Dr. Pepper,” Mackenzie answered and I nodded to let her know I’d have the same.
“Your mom will be out in a minute. She’s finishing up something in the office,” Joan said before walking away.
I glanced back at Mackenzie, who was laughing. “What?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “You’re just funny, that’s all.”
I cocked my head. “And how am I funny?”
“You can be so sweet, especially to old ladies, then turn around and be a complete asshole.” If she hadn’t been laughing, I would have thought she was referring to Miranda and me.
“I’m not being an asshole now, am I?”
“No, but I’ve definitely seen it. Just now, for instance, the look you gave me when she said she was overreacting…I don’t even think you know you’re doing it.”
She had no idea how much of an asshole I could be. I shrugged. “Well, you live with the king of assholes, so I guess you would know.”
We both laughed and my tension eased. A short time later, my mom joined us, and we all ate our greasy burgers and listened to Mackenzie talk about Harley. I laughed and joked so much, I almost forgot I was a dickhead.
Almost.
Chapter 15
Miranda
My finger hovered over the phone number, poised to make the call. Ever since Brad had dropped me off the previous night, I’d been physically aching for a hit. I knew with just one call to Preston, he’d get me the coke I needed.
Tears streamed down my face as I sat in my bathroom floor, shaking. I knew the price I’d pay if I made the call. I’d feel free, euphoric almost at first, but Hell would still come. It wouldn’t be enough. But I needed it. I needed to feel good again, even for just a few minutes.
A sob tore through me and my body convulsed as I dropped my cell phone on the floor, followed by my head. I lay there for several minutes, it could have been hours, weeping in the fetal position until I let the darkness close in.
***
Unable to pull myself out of bed, I skipped my classes on Monday and Tuesday. Since I only had one class on Wednesday morning, I decided I’d go. Therefore, I got up, showered, and dressed for the first time in days. Not caring about impressing anyone, I threw my wet hair into a bun and threw on some jeans, T-shirt, and sneakers. Even if I were trying to impress someone, it was apparent no one would care to look.
I walked into my Principles of Communication class and sat down in my usual spot. A shuffling noise followed by books slamming onto the desk startled me. Carson sat down and sighed. I turned my head, giving him a “what?” look.
“I texted you on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and you know what I got in return? Nothing. That’s what. And now you want to look at me like that?” Carson declared in mock anger.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? What the hell, Miranda? And you missed class on Monday and Tuesday. You do know it’s only the second week of class, right?”
I glanced down at my desk, my finger trailing over a crack on the surface. I couldn’t tell him the truth, so I lied. “I was sick. I haven’t even looked at my phone since Saturday morning.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You were sick? What was wrong?”
“I don’t know. It felt like the flu.”
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I’m glad you’re better and I’m sorry for being annoyed.”
I smiled weakly at him, feeling awful for lying. “It’s okay. What did you need?”
His eyebrows furrowed and I could tell he was thinking. “Shit. I can’t even remember.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Are you drunk, hungover, or high? How could you not remember?”
“I don’t think I needed anything. I was just texting you.”
“You are such a dork.”
He smirked. “But you love me.”
I nodded as the professor stepped into the room, signaling the beginning of class. I took copious amounts of notes, probably more than I ever had in that class. Before I knew it, the professor was dismissing us.
“Wanna head to the union?” Carson asked as he stood, stretching.
I placed my notebook and textbook in my bag. “I can for a little bit, but I have to get to work.”
He nodded and we both walked out of the classroom, making our way to the union. As we marched across the beautiful campus, I started getting lost in my thoughts. What was I even doing here? Even if I did graduate, would I ever really be able to help someone? Hell, I could barely help myself. Why would I think I had anything to offer someone else? Would I ever be good enough…for anything?
My eyes began to pool with tears and I blinked them away. I didn’t want to explain anything to Carson. I had already unloaded on him about Preston, I was way too embarrassed to explain what had happened with Brad. Then it occurred to me that I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to face Mackenzie again. What if he told her? No, I doubted he’d ever admit sleeping with me.
“Hey!” Carson shouted beside me.
I glanced around, looking for the reason he was shouting. “What?”
He stopped walking, staring at me with a scowl on his face. “I’ve been talking to you. What the hell is wrong with you?”
Had I really been that zoned out? I had to think fast. “I’m sorry, it must be the medicine I’ve been taking. It makes me kinda…out of it.”
“Yeah, I’d say so.”
“I’m really sorry.”
He studied me for a minute then began walking again. “Don’t worry about it.”
Neither of us said anything else until we slid into a booth in the union. We both took a bite out of our burgers as the noises of the people around us drowned out our silence.
“What are you doing for your birthday?” Carson asked after swallowing his bite and washing it down with his drink.
“Class in the morning, then working,” I replied.
“Going out after work?”
I shrugged. “Gage mentioned something about taking me out after our shift, but I have no idea if that’ll actually happen.” I really didn’t care either way.
He took another bite, chewing slowly as he studied me. “What?” I asked.
He smirked. “You do know Gage has the hots for you, don’t you?”
I took a small bite of my burger. “Yeah. I mean, I know he has a small crush on me, but I don’t really care.”
“Has he contacted you anymore?” he asked, referring to Preston.
“I don’t know. Like I said, I turned my phone off on Saturday and it’s still off.”
“You are not normal.”
He was exactly right. I wasn’t normal. I was lacking something most people had that made them desirable. Like the ability to make wise choices. I wanted to cry at the thought, but I blinked back my tears as I stared at my plate.
“Hey,” he said gently, grabbing my hand. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just mean you couldn’t give a rat’s ass about your phone while everyone else can’t stop staring at theirs.”
“Once upon a time, I was addicted to mine…among other things.”
He bit the inside of his cheek and I could tell he wanted to ask me something. “Just ask.”
“How have you been…with that? I mean, the drugs.”
I leveled my eyes with his. “I’ve been clean since graduation. Being knocked unconscious, waking up alone, then wrecking my truck because I was bawling my eyes out made me reevaluate where my future was headed. I don’t want to go back there again.” Except I almost did on Sunday.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”
I plastered on a fake smile. “It’s okay, Carson. I know you didn’t mean it in a bad way. You were just checking on me.” I stole one of his fries. “I don’t even drink that much anymore. In fact, it’s been months.”
He sipped on his drink. “That’s great. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks. What about you? Are you clean?” I asked, referring to his drug of choice, Sam.
“Do I still drink? Don’t tell Mr. Detective, but yeah, I do.” At the mention of Brad, I began to choke on the fry I had just swallowed. “You all right?”
“Yeah,” I said, taking a drink. “I’m fine. But, um, I was referring to Sam. Did you ever meet up with her?”
He grinned. “Oh, I’m very clean when it comes to her. I never called her and I’ve been very busy elsewhere.”