by J. D. Rivera
I cleared my throat, trying to find my voice. “Mackenzie, I’m sorry if this upsets you.”
Her brows furrowed. “Upsets me? Why would it? I’m happy for you.”
“What? Why are you being so…angry then?” Brad asked.
“I’m being angry?” she questioned and we nodded. “Oh, well, I’ve known for a while you’ve had the hots for Miranda, I just don’t like the idea of y’all hiding it from me. I mean, the three of you in this room are basically the only people in this world I trust. I’d hate to think that you were hiding something from me.”
Brad squeezed my hand, a gesture to ease my nerves. “We aren’t hiding anything from you.”
“Miranda,” Mackenzie said, standing up, “would you mind helping me in the kitchen?”
I smiled at Brad and released his hand. “Sure,” I replied.
I followed Mackenzie into the kitchen, leaving Hayes and Brad to watch some sports’ show. She opened the fridge, taking out a pitcher of sweet tea. “Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed when she turned around. “I knew this would happen eventually.”
“What?”
“The way he looks at you? He’s been attracted to you from the beginning. In fact, I knew it from the very first time we had dinner and went to the movie together.”
“No you didn’t.” There was no way he had been attracted to me since…since February?
“Yes. But tell me how it happened.”
“It just kinda happened. I mean, we just kept running into each other. He gave me shooting lessons last weekend, but I honestly thought nothing would happen again,” I said, evasively. “Then he showed up at my apartment Friday night and…yeah, that’s how it happened.”
“I’m so happy for you two!”
Either she was lying or Hayes hadn’t told her about what happened to me. “Are you sure?” I asked, fearing she’d tell me no.
“Of course.” She pulled me in for a hug. “We can double date now!”
“Yeah, I guess we can.” I grabbed two glasses of tea from the counter. “I’ll take these to Hayes and Brad.”
“Those are for you. I have to add extra sugar to Hayes’.” She rolled her eyes, opening the sugar jar.
I nodded and walked into the living room, handing Brad his glass before sitting down beside him.
“How long does Harley normally sleep?” I asked.
“Usually about two hours,” Hayes replied. “She had just fallen asleep when you got here.”
I had hoped Harley would wake up, acting as a buffer between Mackenzie’s questions and Brad and I. Mackenzie was my best friend, and hopefully she was genuinely happy for us, but that didn’t mean I wanted to answer questions. Honestly, I was too insecure to answer anything and I was positive Brad didn’t want to be the only person to answer.
“You okay?” Brad whispered in my ear.
I nodded, watching Mackenzie sit down in the chair. “Thanks, babe,” Hayes said, taking the glass of tea from her. One day, I hoped I’d be as secure in my relationships as they were. They’d had problems—major problems, actually—but they had beat the odds and came out on top. One look at Hayes and you could see his love for her written all over his face.
I glanced at Brad, wondering if he’d ever be able to look at me in the same way. I immediately knew the answer was no. You can’t completely love someone if they are keeping secrets. And I was positive I’d never be able to reveal my secrets to him.
Chapter 22
Brad
I walked into the station the following Thursday after a long day of questioning witnesses to a new case.
I sat down in the chair next to Rob and tossed my legs on the table.
“What’s up, man?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Just about to take off.”
“Have either of you tried a dating website before?” David asked, leaning against a cubical wall.
“Can’t say that I have,” I responded, already feeling sorry for the person on the other side of that dating site.
“Did you join one?” Rob inquired.
“Well, yeah, but I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Was he a complete idiot? “What do you mean?”
“I mean I need to look hot in my profile picture—”
“That’s not likely,” Rob said, straight-faced.
I placed my fist over my mouth, trying not laugh. I was unsuccessful though, dipping my head toward the floor to snicker.
“Y’all are assholes.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes. “We’re sorr…” I trailed off, choking back another laugh. “We’re sorry. So, you need help with your profile picture?”
“Yeah. Should I just take like a regular selfie, flex a bicep, sexily stare at the camera? What would be best? What would get a girl’s attention?” The sad part was he wasn’t trying to be funny; he really had no idea.
Rob glanced to the ceiling, as if in deep thought. “If it were me…I’d put on some kick ass shades and flex my arm.”
“I’d wear one of those brightly colored tank tops. You know, the color would catch a girl’s eye,” I chipped in. It was a miracle I didn’t double over in laughter.
“That’s a great idea,” David exclaimed and I almost felt bad for messing with him. Almost. “You and Rob wanna grab a beer with me?”
Rob snickered. “Have you not heard? Brad, here, has found him a woman.”
“What? Who? Really?” David questioned, sounding like a gossiping teenage girl. Miranda had been right when she described David as a dumbass.
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, really. Her name is Miranda.”
“Miranda…Miranda…where have I heard that name before?”
“Odds are you’ve arrested a Miranda before. It’s a common name.” I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him any longer. I was tired and I couldn’t wait to see my girlfriend.
“She’s the blonde hottie from the barbeque,” Rob described.
I shot him a warning glare. “Let’s not talk about her like that. Unless you want me to knock the shit out of you.”
“Are you threatening an officer?” Rob joked.
“Sounds like it.”
“Wait a minute,” David interrupted, “are we talking about the girl with the straight blonde hair or the curly hair? Because I could’ve sworn curly hair was dating that other guy.”
I closed my eyes at his stupidity as Rob laughed beside me. “You are such a dumbass.”
“What?”
“The girl with straight blonde hair.”
“She was hot. Nice rack.” David nodded in appreciation.
I’d had enough and Rob knew it. “Hey, man, that’s enough,” he warned.
I grabbed my stuff off the desk. “And with that, I’m out.” And just because I felt like being a dick, I added, “You know, to see my hot ass girlfriend with the nice rack you can only dream about touching.” And then I thought about him actually thinking about her tits. “But if you do, I’ll kick your ass.”
David’s face turned red and Rob barked out a laugh. I walked past them and exited the station. I had several hours to kill before seeing Miranda, so I decided to swing by the grocery store. I usually only stocked beer, Dr. Pepper, and chips, but I wanted to be able to feed Miranda a little better than that.
I grabbed a cart and instantly felt a little overwhelmed. I had no idea what the hell to buy. What would she want to eat? I had no idea, but decided to skip the vegetables. I grabbed a couple apples and a carton of strawberries for breakfast. The strawberries would be great for other things. Along with some whipped cream.
I knew my stupid grin probably made me look a little crazy, but I didn’t care. Wheeling the cart down the bread aisle, I threw a loaf and some bagels in, along with Nutella before deciding that was about all the non-frozen food I could handle.
I found the frozen food and placed some waffles, pancakes, pizza, and cheese bites in the cart.
“Let me guess, the bachelor that can’t cook?” I turned my head, noticing a very att
ractive brunette staring at me.
“Uh,” I replied, taken off guard by her boldness. I didn’t spend much time in grocery stores, but it seemed a little weird to start talking about the items in someone’s cart—especially without some other introduction or even eye contact.
“I could teach you how to cook.”
“I’m good.” I began to push the cart forward, but she grabbed my arm. “I’m good,” I repeated.
“Seriously, I could teach you how to cook. It would be fun.” What in the ever living fuck?
I was used to this type of thing in a bar, but really, the middle of the frozen food aisle? “I don’t want to learn anything about cooking.”
She dragged her fingernails up my arm and I pulled away. “At least let me give you my number. We don’t have to cook.” She ran her eyes down my body and back up. “We can do other things.”
“My girlfriend probably wouldn’t like that.”
“You said you were single.”
I took a deep breath. Did everyone want to piss me off today? “I never said I was single. You assumed I was single. Maybe you shouldn’t assume things. You might have better luck and wouldn’t have to resort to accosting men in the grocery store.”
I didn’t look back as I pushed the cart toward the front, picking up some chocolate chip cookies on the way.
***
I threw the bags in the backseat of my truck then hopped inside. My phone dinged inside my pocket, making me smile after I checked the screen.
Miranda: I’m so freaking bored. It’s unusually slow.
Me: I’m sorry, beautiful. You forgot the part where you’re missing me.
She texted me back, almost instantly.
Miranda: Yes, and I’m missing you.
Me: Do you still remember how to get to my place?
Miranda: It’s programmed in my GPS. I gotta go. See you later.
I tossed my phone in the cup holder and cranked the engine, heading toward home. A few minutes later, I pulled into a parking space and grabbed the bags from the backseat.
“Having a party?”
I glanced to the right, noticing Natalie outside her door, smoking. “No. Just decided to eat something other than chips for a change.”
“Do you need a hand?”
“I’ve got it,” I called. Had she forgotten our last encounter? Maybe she was on drugs.
I unlocked the door, kicking it closed on my way to the kitchen. I tossed the bags on the counter and began putting everything away. After I finished, I glanced around the apartment, trying to find something to pass the time. Before Miranda, I worked and came home to sleep. Now I was actually trying to leave work at a decent hour because I wanted to spend time with her.
I went for a run to fill the time. After I returned home, I decided to take a shower—I seriously stunk. I stripped my clothes off and threw them in a basket in the corner of my room before heading toward the bathroom. I turned the water on, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
Running my hand over my cheeks and brushing them through my goatee, I debated trimming it, but decided against it—Miranda had said she liked it longer. I laughed at myself, less than a week and I was already whipped.
After taking a quick shower, I dried off and heard a knock. Wrapping the towel around my hips, I made my way to the front door and opened it.
Miranda stood on the other side, a disgusted look on her face. “What’s wrong?” She didn’t say anything, but her doleful eyes had me pulling her inside and wrapping my arms around her. “What’s wrong?” I repeated.
She pulled away from me, as if my touch disgusted her. My heart began beating wildly with her silence. “I ran…” she trailed off and cleared her throat, “I ran into your neighbor.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “You ran into my neighbor. Did they do something to hurt you?”
“No. Well, at least not physically.”
“Just fucking tell me.” It came out harsh, but I needed to know why she was upset.
She glared at me. “I ran into your whore. She let me know that this,” she gestured between us, “is what you do.”
So, she had run into Natalie. Did she always stand outside? “What exactly is it that I do?”
“You lead girls on. Make them feel special, have sex with them for a while, then discard them.”
“Fuck!” I roared, my temper snapping. I wasn’t mad at Miranda, but I could tell I had frightened her. I was mad at the bitch who wanted to ruin my relationship because I didn’t want her. “That’s not it at all.”
“Then what is it?” she asked. “Because I know you’re great at the discarding part.”
I closed my eyes, silently counting to five. I needed to calm down and make her see that wasn’t me. “Okay, I deserve that. From you. But you need to sit down and listen to what I have to say. Don’t assume things based on what some random whore says.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Did you sleep with her? Be honest.”
“Yes.” I sighed.
“Then you don’t get to call her a whore.”
I didn’t agree but didn’t voice that opinion. “Please, just sit down. Let me get some clothes on and I’ll explain my side of things.”
“Fine,” she spat. She crossed her arms over her chest and sat down on the couch.
I knew I was in deep shit, but I couldn’t help but fall for her a little harder each time she was angry. She might have a lot of self-doubt, but a fighter was buried inside.
“I’ll be right back.” I quickly jogged back to my room and yanked on some gym shorts. Why in the hell was this happening? Taking a few deep breaths, I walked into the living room and sank down beside her on the couch.
She kept her arms crossed, shielding herself, and stared straight ahead. She didn’t immediately say anything, so I did. “What do you want to know?”
“What do I want to know?” She turned to face me, anger and hurt radiating from her. “Was she your girlfriend?”
“No.”
“Then what was she?”
Shit. I had no clue how to answer that without it sounding bad. “She was—”
“You’re fuck buddy,” she answered for me.
I’m sure my wide-eyed expression gave her all the answer she needed, but I nodded, whispering, “Yes.”
“Is that what I am to you? Because I will never be anyone’s fuck buddy.”
I placed my hands on her cheeks. “I already told you I want more than that from you. You’re my girlfriend. We’ve told my mom and our friends. What else do you need?”
“I don’t know.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “I need your ex-lover to leave me alone and not give me details of your sex life. Do I need to get tested?”
I stifled a laugh at her cattiness. “Just tell her to fuck off if you see her again. And no, you don’t need to get tested. Trust me, I’ve been tested and I always use a condom. Well, before you anyway.”
She nodded and was silent for a bit before blurting, “She’s ugly,” then she followed it up with, “and she’s a bitch. She’s an ugly bitch.”
“And jealous. Don’t forget that part.” I smiled, cautiously.
“You’re right. She’s a jealous ugly ass bitch.” She smiled, but it was laced with sadness.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I didn’t, I wanted to drop the subject, but I felt like I should offer.
“She noticed me knocking on your door and she said, ‘Oh, he’s probably busy with his newest conquest since he kicked me to the curb. But you can wait if you want.’ It was disgusting to hear, Brad. And with what happened before…”
I grabbed her around the waist, shifting her to sit across my lap. “Beautiful, I’m sorry about what happened. But I assure you, we are different. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. In fact, I know I’m in love with you.” I hadn’t meant to tell her that. Hell, I hadn’t even admitted it to myself yet, but I knew it was true. I loved her.
She stared at me with wide eyes before b
linking slowly. “Brad…you love me?”
“Yeah, I do. A lot.”
“I think I love you, too.”
I laughed. “You think?”
“No. I know. I love you.”
“Good,” I said before kissing her. I pulled back. While we were admitting things, it was as good a time as any to see if she’d open up to me. “Now, you know I’m an asshole—”
“I kinda already knew that,” she interrupted.
“Okay, since it was confirmed that I’m an asshole, why don’t you tell me why you’re so unsure of yourself? It’s seriously baffling. You’re insanely gorgeous, smart, and your personality is great. You’re the complete package. Why the doubt?”
Her heart rate accelerated as her eyes danced around the room. Her entire demeanor changed into a ball of nerves. “You don’t—” I began, but she placed her hand over my lips.
“The summer before my senior year, I met a guy named Preston. We started dating and I was completely taken with him. He was sweet and caring…he made me feel special. I met Mackenzie that August and we instantly became friends, but I didn’t spend much time with her. And knowing what she was going through, I feel awful about that.” She paused at her regret. “But he wanted me to spend all of my extra time with him. I liked him so much, I was okay with that. Hell, I was more than okay with that.” She took a deep breath and looked down, fidgeting with a nonexistent piece of lint. I understood she couldn’t look at me and I braced myself for what she was about to say. “Things started changing around January. He began saying things…” She paused, taking a deep breath, and I noticed a tear drip onto her jeans. “He said I was worthless, pathetic, stupid…things like that. And…I started believing it.”
I was a homicide detective—I put killers in prison—but in that moment, I wanted to murder this Preston guy. With my bare hands, then set his body on fire.
Chapter 23
Miranda
“You are none of those things. Do you hear me? None of those things,” Brad said sternly as he cupped my face. “I…you are the smartest, funniest, most caring, beautiful girl I know.”