Unfaded

by Sarah Ripley

  “Did you know the second you saw me?”

  “No,” he admitted. “I could sense something but I wasn’t sure. Either was Micah. But once again, you’re an exception. You’re...”

  “Yes, cursed,” I finished for him. “I get it.”

  “We watched you for a bit,” he said. “I was certain within a few days but Micah took a little longer. But he doesn’t know you like I do.”

  He knew me. Not me, someone else who was still me.

  “Can I see that picture again?” I asked.

  Kian pulled out his wallet and handed it over again. The blonde haired girl stared out past the camera and straight into my eyes. Beautiful and young, but there was something in her face that caught my attention. She knew in this picture. She knew who she was. She knew she didn’t have much longer to live in the world.

  “How did she react when you explained to her what she was?”

  “You responded the same way,” he said. “You told your father that I was insane and he chased me through the fields with his shotgun.”

  I smirked. “Yeah, that sounds like something I might do. What happened next? What changed my mind?”

  Kian looked down at the floor. His eyes squeezed shut tightly and he rubbed his hand over his forehead. Shoulders slouched forward and when he finally raised his head, his eyes were smouldering.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “They came for you in the night,” he said. “They killed your entire family because there should never be witnesses to Unfaded crimes. You only escaped by chance. I found you wandering the prairie, dehydrated and ill with fever, screaming from the visions that refused to leave you alone. They had driven you half-mad. You had little sisters, three of them under the age of seven. Two brothers. You never got over them. But you believed.”

  I placed my hands to my mouth.

  “I managed to keep you alive for two more years,” he said. “We travelled halfway across the world before Dialexa caught up with us. That’s when you left me and by the time I found you again, it was too late.”

  I glanced down at the picture again, the two of them, holding hands, comfortable with each other. There was something there I hadn’t noticed until now. It was Kian’s retelling of the story that made it so obvious. The emotion in his voice was so clear. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it until now.

  “You loved her,” I said.

  “Yes,” he said.

  His lips were parted as he waited for me to respond. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t that girl. No matter whom he expected me to be, no matter who I might have been in the past, I wasn’t her. Not anymore. I had a new life, new memories, new experiences that had moulded me into someone completely different.

  I opened my mouth but his hand reached out and touched my arm. “No, he said. Don’t say it. Just understand me. I’ve always loved you. Over four hundred years. Ever since I first met you.”

  “But I’m not that person,” I said. “I’m not her.”

  “Yes, you are. You’re all those girls. It’s your soul I love, not the body that comes attached to it. But I’m willing to wait if that’s what you’re about to say. You don’t love me. I can’t expect you to. You barely know me.”

  I nodded. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’ve waited a long time for you to come back to me. I can wait longer.”

  His eyes stayed fixed on mine. He wanted me to say something but my mind was such a mixture of emotions and thoughts I couldn’t fixate on just one. It was like I’d fallen into a play in which I no longer remembered my lines. What would Romeo have done if Juliette had refused him? What if Emelye had forgotten about Palamon?

  Kian reached out and gently stroked the side of my face. The touch against my cheek was more intense than anything I’d ever experienced. Even when he pulled his hand away I could still feel it as if his fingers had burned my skin in the most wonderful way. All my nerve endings were on fire. He leaned forwards towards me and my lips parted against my will.

  But the kiss never came.

  There was a knock on the door, two short raps and a longer one. Kian immediately pulled back and it was like my entire body churned to a halt. I had to force myself to start breathing again and when I did, I inhaled several times like I was hyperventilating. Kian got up off the bed and opened it. Micah entered the room, unaware of just how lousy his timing was. I grabbed my jacket and pulled it close, trying to get my arm into the sleeve but unable to actually make it work. My brain just didn’t want to deal with such a simple task. It was too busy working overtime on everything else.

  “I should go home.” I stood up, jacket half on my body. I fumbled again and finally managed to make it work. I left it open, the zipper would have been too embarrassing to try to handle.

  “I’ll drive you.”

  I let him. It was colder out and I just didn’t want to be stuck walking this late at night. We drove in silence. Half a block away from my house I insisted he pull over. I didn’t want to take the chance of the engine waking up Dad. I’d walk the rest of the way. Kian turned off the engine and walked with me. He even went as far as to follow me to the backyard where I was prepared to climb back in through the bedroom window. The house was still silent. No one appeared to have discovered my sneakiness.

  “I want you to go home,” I said. “Micah said you’ve been watching the house. I don’t want you doing that. I’ll be fine. You must be exhausted.”

  “Ok,” he said. “But promise me that you’ll keep your phone by your bed and call me if you hear anything out of place. Even a creaking in the floor boards.”

  “I promise.”

  “Anique and Sobek might not be the only ones out there. Others could be coming.” Glancing up at the house, he made it obvious he was thinking about whether or not he thought I’d be safe. “If they come I might not be able to help you. We might have to run.”

  “Ok,” I said. But I had no intentions of going anywhere with him. That was the problem, I still wasn’t fully aware of just how dangerous things were about to become. If I had known I might have packed my bags on the spot and booked a one way flight to Australia or Iceland. If Kian had known he would have done anything in his power to keep me safe, which probably would have meant locking me away in a tower where no one would ever find me again.

  Either way, my life as I knew it would never be the same again.

  Eleven

  The building around me was made of logs. There were two windows covered by curtains made out of harsh cloth. Grass bushels were tied to the ceiling with woven twine. I sat on the floor beside the empty fireplace. It must have been summer because the air was humid and sweat dripped from my face. My body was flushed and wet and I was slightly lightheaded from sitting in the sweltering room. I was wearing a simple brown dress and it was sticky and glued against my body. My hair was long and thick; it flowed from my head and reached all the way down to my knees.

  There were other people in the room with me. Several men appeared to be arguing over something. They spoke with a language I didn’t recognize yet at the same time I knew what they were saying. They were discussing what to do with me. I managed to figure out the extent of their conversation as they continued their discussion. There was to be a marriage and apparently I wasn’t allowed an opinion. They talked over me, ignoring me as if I was nothing but a pretty flower discarded on the floor. A lanky youth turned and smiled, he was already thinking about what he’d do once the marriage was completed. His family was discussing payment.

  How much was I worth?

  From outside I could hear the sound of a bird singing. A signal I was waiting for. Standing, I excused myself but no one noticed except the youth but he didn’t seem to care. His parents were too busy holding up his arms and showing my father just how strong he was. My father needed to know that this youth would take care of me. He’d provide. He’d build me a perfect house and I’d have many babies for him in return.

  Once outside, I headed off towards
the edge of the village. There were about a dozen other houses such as the one I’d just been inside. The majority of them were log huts but there were also buildings made of stone. I passed a temple where a young priest sat in the shade and wrote on a piece of European paper.

  Just beyond the village he was waiting for me. Kian. His hair was long, down to his shoulders and tied back into a pony tail. A grey buttoned jerkin and linen pants clung to his body, it must have been horrific to wear in the heat but he was barely sweating. He took my hand and led me away and I followed him happily. I wasn’t afraid of him, even though he was different than anyone I’d ever met before. He was the kind my village warned me about, the treacherous outsiders, only content in destroying what we sought to preserve.

  But I was young and I didn’t care.

  There was a stream where the women often went to wash clothing. They waded through the water with bark rope baskets of clothing. Spreading them out on rocks, they’d pound the dirt out and talk quietly amongst themselves.

  Kian led me further upstream until we were far enough away from these women and their loose lips. If they found me with him I’d never get second chance to sneak away.

  We walked along the stream until we came across a place where a large rock lay flat and wide enough for two lovers to lie across it. The dense trees grew above us, giving us some protection from the sweltering sun. Kian knelt down on the ground in front of me, wrapped his arms around my legs and held me tight. There was urgency in his actions. He wanted me to come away with him but I was afraid to leave my family. But I didn’t want to get married. Not unless it was him.

  I knelt down in front of him and we stared into each other’s eyes. I ran my fingers along his pale white skin and his own hands found my hair and pulled me closer. My lips parted. I closed my eyes.

  And when I opened them again I was staring up at the ceiling lights of my bedroom.

  “Now that’s just mean,” I muttered to myself.

  The last thing I remembered, I’d been brushing my hair and Marley called up to me, telling me there were eggs and bacon. Now I was lying on the floor of my bedroom and the back of my head was throbbing from where I’d landed. Was this my future? Would it get to the point where I’d have to go around with a helmet to keep from getting brain damage? Grimacing, I reached out and touched the tender spot. Not even a lump. I guess I’d survive this time.

  Glancing at the clock, it was a relief to know I’d only been under for a minute or two. No one had come looking for me so at least there’d be no explaining to panicked parents. Note to self: If I was Unfaded and apparently had all this power, then maybe there was a way to curse myself again so that I could have a five minute warning before these things happen. At least then I could lie down on the bed or go hide in a bathroom.

  Look on the bright side, I told myself as I grabbed my books and threw them in my backpack. At least the blinding panic is almost gone. You know you’re not having an aneurism or dying of tumours. You’re just an Unfaded who’s been reincarnated hundreds, if not thousands of times over the past several millennia. It all makes perfect sense now.

  I snickered to myself the entire way to the kitchen.

  “You’re in a good mood,” Marley said.

  “At least laughter can’t kill me,” I said. My response was a puzzled look. “Never mind.” I grabbed a piece of toast and took a bite.

  Dad was reading the paper and chewing on a piece of bacon. “At the table, Mai.”

  I sat down and stifled a yawn. By the time I’d managed to climb back in my bedroom window last night, it had been well past three. Of course my mind had been unable to rest, there were just too many thoughts going around up there to relax. So sleep hadn’t been instant, my bed looked like a stampede of wild monkey’s had thrown a party. My alarm clock went off at seven and it took every ounce of willpower in my system to get up. This was starting to become a regular occurrence. My sleepless nights were closer together these days. A few weeks ago I was dreaming of adventure and passion. Now that I'd gotten that wish, all I wanted was eight hours.

  Outside, everything was covered in frost and I was able to take a bit of a power nap while I waited for the windows to defrost and my car engine to warm. As I sat there with my eyes closed I thought about going back inside and telling Dad I was sick. Maybe I should spend the day in bed. It can’t be good to miss this much sleep. I might end up getting sicker. But no, I’d all ready missed most of the afternoon yesterday and if I stayed at home I’d only be letting Breanna know she’d gotten to me. I was stronger than that. I wasn’t going to let her call me names and cower in the corner.

  A knock on the glass made me jump so high I almost knocked my head on the top of the car. It was Kian and the corners of his lips turned upwards as I rolled down the window.

  “Jumpy?” he asked with a straight face.

  “Tired,” I said. “I didn’t get much sleep last night. I believe you’re responsible. What are you doing here? I told you not to watch me anymore.”

  “I wanted to catch you before you left,” he said, the amusement drained from his face. “I realised this morning you probably shouldn’t be driving anymore.”

  “Oh? Why? Are you afraid someone might try and run me off that road? Oh wait! That happened yesterday. I survived.”

  “I was thinking more about your visions,” he said. “What happens if you have one while driving?”

  He had me there. Why didn’t I think about that before? Dad was always telling me stories about people who fell asleep at the wheel and the end results were often fatal. Almost all of Dad’s driving stories ended badly. Wasn’t this the same thing? What if I hit someone? I wouldn’t even know about it until I woke up. I shuddered and it wasn’t because of the cold.

  “Great,” I said. “Now you’re telling me I’ve got to walk everywhere? This keeps getting better and better. No offense, but this whole ‘living forever’ thing just isn’t as thrilling as one might think.”

  “Never said it was,” Kian said. “And you don’t have to walk. I’m more than happy to drive you.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said. Turning off the engine, I climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind me. “You say that now but you can’t be with me all the time.”

  He didn’t answer me.

  His car was nice and warm and I sunk down into the passenger seat, trying my best to curl up into a ball but the seatbelt made it hard. I managed to twist my body a bit until I was leaning against the headrest and halfway on my side. Finally I gave up and watched Kian as he drove. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him but I couldn’t think of which one to ask first.

  “How come you look so much younger than Micah?” That seemed like a good start. “Is he older than you? How do Unfaded age?”

  “Micah is older than me but that’s not why he looks the way he does,” Kian said. “I don’t know how that works. The majority stop aging between what humans would consider their twenties to forties. I got unlucky.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I’m four thousand years old and still get carded if I want a drink. It’s rather annoying.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I guess that sucks. What about me? Will I continue to age?”

  “Maybe. I don’t think so. Dialexa and Apani were always described as being young. But they died before they reached twenty so I’m not sure.”

  “So young,” I said.

  “Youth is the most dangerous time to be alive,” he said. “None of the wisdom and all of the arrogance. Dialexa should have waited a few hundred years before she tried to destroy the world. Things might have been different.”

  “You sound like an old man,” I said.

  “I am.”

  Kian turned into the school’s parking lot just as I pulled myself up into a more demure position. My back was starting to ache, no wonder I never slept in cars. We only had about ten minutes before the bell would ring, just enough time to grab a parking spot and hit my locker.

  We
found a spot a few minutes later and pulled in. The second I got out of the car I noticed Connor standing a little ways off with Eugene. His eyes fixed on mine and then he noticed Kian. It wasn’t pretty. I had no choice but to walk past him with Kian at my side. I wanted to stop and talk to him but even I knew it wasn’t a good idea. There was too much anger in his eyes. I smiled weakly at Eugene and he nodded back at me, being careful not to do anything to betray his best friend. I was now officially the enemy.

  This was terrible and I knew I had to do something. Everything was happening so fast, I hadn’t even had time to think about Connor like I’d planned. It wasn’t my fault but how could I explain that to him? How long had it been since we’d had that fight? Two days? Three? My sleep depraved mind couldn’t remember. We’d never gone this long without talking. Had he even tried calling me? When was the last time I’d checked my phone?

  I’d been too preoccupied. Suddenly I was realising how much he was hurting. It was selfish of me to act like I didn’t care about him. I needed to talk to him. But not now. It wouldn’t do me any good to stop, especially with Kian right behind me. That would only make things worse. I needed to be diplomatic. I’d have to get him alone.

  I decided to stop by the gym at lunch period. Maybe if I got lucky I’d be able to catch him. Hopefully I could repair the damage before things became worse.

  * * *

  Amber was waiting for me by my locker.

  “I tried calling you a gazillion times last night,” she said. “You had your phone turned off!”

  “I did?” I twisted the combination lock, stopping at the right numbers. “I’m sorry, I guess I didn’t realise. I stayed at home, it was a bad night.”

  “Of course it was,” she said. “You must be dying about Connor. Did you talk to him?”

  “No,” I said. I didn’t want the conversation going in that direction. She might start asking about Kian. “It’s not just Connor. Dad told me it’s time to put Granny in a nursing home. He’s talking about taking her to Pine Valley.”

  Amber’s face fell. “Oh no.” She threw her arms around me, embracing me in the kind of hug only a good friend can give. “That’s not fair. Your grandmother doesn’t deserve that. Remember when she used to make us Christmas cookies? You and I used to get covered in icing. It was so much fun.”