by Sarah Ripley
“You did warn me,” I said. And he had. Back at the truck stop when he’d first unleashed everything about my past.
Keep in mind, not all those memories will be good. I hope you’ll forgive me when the time comes.
“I should have been more specific,” he said.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because this was the first time.” Kian let go of my hand and stood up, moving over towards the window. It was as if he was trying to keep himself as far away from me as possible. “In all the times I’ve been with you, you’ve never remembered.”
A flame sparked in my stomach that had nothing to do with my injuries. “And that made it ok? Just because you’ve never been caught? Just because I never found out the truth?”
“No! I just thought...”
“What?” The anger and frustration was pouring from my body and I couldn’t stop it. “What did you think?”
“I didn’t want this to happen,” he said. “I never wanted you to know. The way you’re looking at me. You hate me. I never wanted you to hate me.”
“I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. Please come back.” I patted the bedspread beside me.
He pulled away from the window and sat down at the edge of the bed. He didn’t reach out to take my hand.
“How many times have you killed me?”
“What?” He looked away from me but not before I saw the shame in his eyes.
“How many? Answer me.” I reached out towards him, ignoring the pain in my body as I stretched out my arm.
“Twenty-one.”
The room began to spin. I lay back against the pillow, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I was so cold. How could he have done this to me? He was supposed to love me. He said he’d do whatever it took to keep me safe and I believed him.
“I’m four thousand years old,” he said. “I’ve been with the council for most of my life. I had one of the highest positions, I sat beside Aelin and debated the pros and cons of Unfaded and Human affairs. I made laws and bent rules. Almost all other Unfaded answered to me. I’m not going to say I was brainwashed by them but I believed. I helped make decisions, sent people to hunt you and your sister down. I was very good at my job. You’ve got to understand, the council was not about doing evil, not like Rafferty and his followers. I’ve always stood on the side for preserving humanity. I was taught that Dialexa and Apani were weapons that needed to be stopped and there was only one way.”
“What changed your mind?”
“You did.” Kian held out his arm towards me. “Take my hand, Mai. You’ll know if I’m lying. My energy will tell the truth.”
I reached out and accepted his grasp. His fingers closed over mine and it was like opening up a gateway. Energy poured over my body, flowing through my hand and straight into the pits of my stomach, washing away the pain and all the emptiness. I could feel his thoughts and they were filled with the exact same hurt as me.
“Remember when I said I first met you?” Kian moved closer towards me on the bed. “It was along the banks of the Thames and I’d found you in front of the Globe Theatre, trying to sneak into see Shakespeare. You were only eleven years old. Just a child. At first I was pleased. I thought it would be easier to kill you being you were so young. I approached you with thoughts of how to lure you into an alley where I could get the job done quickly. But as it turns out, killing a child wasn't something I could do, no matter how dangerous I believed you were. The innocence was too strong. So I took you to the theatre instead, trying to gather up my nerves.”
Everything he was saying was true. This much I knew for certain. There was no way he could open his emotions this widely and deceive me. Words can always lie but the soul can’t.
“What did you do?” I asked.
“I stayed with you. I thought maybe I’d wait a bit till you got older. I had time to spare. The others were searching for you thousands of miles away. The council was in London, they never would have dreamed that you’d be under their very noses. I kept my position by day and visited with you every evening. I brought food and medical supplies to your family. I became drawn to you, first as such an innocent child and then later as a beautiful young woman. But by then it was too late and I was in love with you.
“I began to question the council. Maybe I was blind but I couldn’t see how you could have done the evil things that our history claimed. I wanted to know why in over four thousand years no one had ever tried to come up with an alternative to simply killing you. Why hadn’t anyone bothered to try and break the curse? Aelin wouldn’t give me these answers so I decided to seek out Rafferty. You didn’t want me to leave but I didn’t listen. I was obsessed with finding the truth. It took me months to search out Rafferty and when I finally found him, he didn’t have answers either. I came back angry and confused. I was torn. I was supposed to be serving my people by helping stop the evil. But at the same time I wanted to follow my heart. I needed to see what would happen if you lived.”
“And what happened?”
“You didn’t live.” Kian let go of my hand but not before I felt the tremendous weight bearing down on his soul. “When I returned the council was rejoicing. You were gone. I had made a crucial mistake by not telling you what you were. I should have warned you. At least then you might have stood a chance. They found Dialexa two months later and the cycle started over again. But I was no longer as convinced about their intent. Shortly after, I left the council and started my search all over again. Only this time I was looking for something different.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes and they’ve cost me dearly,” Kian closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. He was trying to stop the pain. “Every time you die, the cycle continues. It’s no longer about good and evil. It’s become a game. I don’t think half the Unfaded know what they’re fighting against. I believe that if either Dialexa or you came into your full powers, you’d no longer be a threat. Five thousand years is forever and you’ve both been living human lives over and over. It gets into your soul, that’s something that the others don’t understand. You’ve lost your Unfaded ways because you haven’t had the chance to live them again. I’ve met Dialexa several times and she was never the big evil everyone claimed her to be. She was nothing more than a scared girl half the time. All I need to do is keep the two of you alive long enough to prove it. Only then can the cycle be broken.”
“Do you believe that?”
“With all my heart.”
I sunk back into the bed. No matter how tough I wanted to pretend I was—my body was still quite weak.
“I’m sorry, Mai,” he said. “I’m not a good guardian. I haven’t been successful in case you haven’t noticed. But I should have warned you that I’m an expert at killing you. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I’m still alive,” I said. “You must be doing something right.”
He smiled but it wasn’t very convincing.
“I spoke with Lina a few days ago,” I told him. “She got on my case, telling me that I needed to be more scared. But I’ve never been scared, not even when Anique came at me with that knife. It’s because you’re always close, even when you’re not by my side. You make me feel safe. That’s got to count for something.”
“I guess so.”
“Lie down with me.” I shifted over a bit on the bed, ignoring the pain which wasn’t as bad as it had been when I first woke up. It was incredible how fast my body was working to fix itself. Kian hadn’t been kidding when he said Unfaded healed fast. But he’d never mentioned that they could heal others too.
Kian curled up beside me, his body warm and soft against mine. Tentatively, he pulled his arm around me and I leaned against his shoulder. I could feel the hardness of his biceps, all his strength pulling me close. Regardless of how insecure he was at that moment, it was impossible not to feel completely secure in his arms. I rested my ear on his chest and listened to his heart beating to a soothing rhythm.
“Déjà vu,” I said. “Only the last tim
e we were in this position it was you who was suffering.”
“Serendipity,” he responded and he kissed me on the top of my head. “Fate’s given us a second chance. Let’s not waste it.”
“Thank you,” I said. “For Granny. I don’t know how you did it but I can’t ever thank you enough. It was the greatest thing you could have done for me. You never mentioned that Unfaded could cure humans.”
“Most of them can’t,” he said. “I wasn’t even sure I could do it. It took a lot of energy from me. When you saw me I could barely stand. I don’t think I’ve ever been so wiped out in my life.”
“How did you do it?”
“I untangled her brain,” he said. “I spent the last week reading up on Alzheimer’s disease on the internet. The brain gets Neurofibrillary tangles. I sent her brain a burst of power that managed to sort some things out. I can’t guarantee it’ll be permanent. She might end up regressing.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “You’ve given her life again, even it’s for a short time it’s still better than nothing. She’s going to stay with us now. No more nursing home.”
“That’s fantastic.”
“It is,” I said and a giant yawn escaped my lips.
“You should rest,” he said as he pulled the blankets up around me. “It’s late and you’ve lost a great deal of energy. You’ll need more in order to heal.”
“What time is it?”
“After midnight.”
“Oh, God, I hope Dad didn’t call me. Where’s my phone?” I struggled to get up but Kian tightened his grip so I couldn’t move.
“Relax,” he said. “No one called. Your phone’s been by the table all night. I kept it out in case he called. Seito said you mentioned they were going to be away for the weekend. Good thing too, I probably would have been up on kidnapping charges. It’s not like I could have brought you home or to the hospital. There would have been too many questions that I can’t explain. One thing about humans, they don’t deal with things outside the norm and speed healing is definitely abnormal.”
“They must not have heard about the fire yet. Otherwise he would have kept calling until I picked up. Dad’s a bit obsessive that way. I’ll have to call him in the morning and let him know.”
“He loves you,” Kian said. “I would do the exact same thing.”
I yawned again. “What about you? You must be tired too. Most of the energy inside my body is yours. You and Seito helped me while I slept.”
“I’m doing fine. I can replenish faster. I’m not the one with a hole in my stomach.”
“Ok.” I yawned again and rested my hand on his chest so I could feel his body breathe. “But don’t leave me if I fall asleep.”
“I won’t.”
He fell asleep before me and I laid there in the darkness and listened to his heart as his chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his breathing. It was soothing and the warmth of his body washed over me, making me stronger as every minute passed. I watched his face while he slept, admired the curve of his jaw and the fullness of his lips. His eyelashes were long and dark, they fluttered softly when he twitched in his sleep. Longish hair rested against the pillow, it was the exact same shade of freshly roasted chestnuts.
While he slept I was able to study him in a way I’d never had the chance. I’d never met anyone as beautiful as him before. It wasn’t just his looks, although I fully understood why every girl in the school was so interested in him. It was his soul.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’d met plenty of good looking people who became uglier once I got to know them better. I’d also met a lot of plain girls whose inner beauty made them shine brighter than any supernova. I didn’t believe in perfection. There was no such thing as a perfect face or ass or legs. Humans had flaws and so did Unfaded. Kian had plenty of faults as I was slowly learning. But he was perfect to me. I was accepting him for what he was. I wanted him regardless of what transpired in his past.
There was no force in the world that could keep us apart.
* * *
It was the murmuring voices that woke me. I couldn’t have been asleep long, it was still dark out and my body ached like I’d only closed my eyes for a few moments.
Everyone was back in the room. Over at the table, Micah, Lina and Seito were talking in low voices. I pulled myself up a bit, giving Kian a nudge with my elbow to wake him. Lashes fluttering, he opened his eyes, giving me a slight panicky stare before he realised he’d just fallen asleep and nothing bad had happened.
Seito immediately noticed.
“Aww, aren’t they just the cutest things.”
I blinked twice and Seito came over to the bed. Beside him followed Lina and she was smirking.
“Looks like the love birds made up,” she said. “It’s about bloody time. There was enough brooding around here to sink a ship.”
“Of course now we’re gonna have to put up with all this mushy stuff,” Seito said. “I’m not sure which is actually worse.”
“Ok, enough.” Kian’s jaw quivered. “Don’t make me take you outside, Seito. I won’t go easy on you like last time.”
“Ha! Try it, pretty boy.”
“I’m glad you’re all enjoying yourself,” Micah said from his normal spot across the room. “But perhaps we should see how Mai is feeling before we continue down this happy-go-lucky path.”
I caught Seito’s expression and he mouthed the words ‘happy-go-lucky’ and raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes at the same time. I had to bite down on my tongue to keep from bursting with laughter.
“How’s the stomach?” Seito asked.
I carefully pressed my hands against my body. There was still some pain but it was relatively minor compared to the extent of the injury. “Good.”
Kian got up off the bed, breaking the connection between us. I’d spent a lot of time wrapped in the warmth of his body, surrounded and being healed by his energy. Now that we were apart I could feel the coolness of the room. It was like breaking out of a cocoon after spending a few months in blissful sleep. I wanted to reach out and pull him back to me, but that didn’t seem like a feasible idea since we were no longer alone. It would just give Seito more ammunition, not that I minded in the slightest. There were far worse things to be teased about.
“Either way,” Micah said. “You’re to stay in bed for a bit. It’s going to take more than a few hours to recover from those injuries. I understand your parents are away so there’s no need to worry there?”
I nodded. “I’ll give Dad a call in a bit but they won’t be home until Sunday. Lucky break I guess.”
“Luck would have been not attaining the injuries at all,” Micah said, giving Kian a hard look. “But there’s no point in going there. There’s been enough pain and blame and it isn’t going to get us anywhere. The main fact is you’re alive.”
Micah was furious with Kian, which was perfectly clear.
“That’s not fair,” I said. “You have no right to be mad. I was the one who refused to talk to him. There is no one to blame here except me. If I hadn’t been so stubborn this could have been avoided.”
“It’s ok, Mai,” Kian said. “You don’t need to defend me.”
“Someone does,” I said. “I’m tired of all this bickering. We’re all here for the same reason. I think it’s about time you started acting like adults.”
Ok, so telling ancient Unfaded to stop behaving like children probably wasn’t the best I could come up with but I was getting tired. Micah might still be holding a grudge over Lina and Seito, but if it hadn’t been for them I’d be dead.
“She’s got a point,” Lina said. “Seito saved her life. He’s the hero. We’re here to help, Micah, whether you like it or not. The least we can do is be civil. Have we really digressed this much as a race?”
“I can’t be on the same side as someone who wishes to destroy humanity.”
Lina’s eyes flashed with anger. “Oh, give it a rest you crank pot. Just because we don’t share th
e same goal doesn’t mean we’re not on the same team. Or is that what’s bothering you? It must kill you to know that the only Unfaded who side with you, are the enemies. Get over it. Your precious council wants nothing to do with you. Aelin is your enemy and that’s not going to change any time soon. We need to make it through today and worry about the future later.”
“Fair enough,” Micah said. “But when the time comes, I will not let you exploit that girl. I’d rather die than let you manipulate her soul.”
“Have you even met Mai?” Seito said. “I seriously doubt she’d let anyone tell her what to do. Give her more credit than that. She’s her own person.”
I could have kissed him. It was nice to see him take a position for once even if it was only for a short second. He’d said his piece and was back to playing non-caring guy by ignoring everyone and daydreaming out the window.
“Did you find Anique and Sobek?” Kian asked. I guess he figured it was a good time to change the subject.
Lina frowned. “No. Wherever they are, it’s not here. We turned this town inside out and didn’t come across a single blonde hair.”
“They might have skipped town,” Micah said. “But I don’t believe it.”
“At least we agree on that,” Lina said. “I think they’re still here. But who knows if they’ve contacted anyone. It’s time we put a stop to this before it really starts to get out of hand.”
“And just what do you propose we do?” Micah said. “Should we just wander around and hope we stumble across them by accident?”
“I suggest you think of something soon,” Seito said, speaking up for the second time in a row. His eyes were still focused on the parking lot. “Because it’s about to get more interesting.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kian asked.
“We’ve got company.”
Seito stepped back to let them look. They all raced to the window. Lina and Kian got there first, followed by Micah. There was no mistaking the look of surprise on all of their faces. I sighed, it would have been nice to join the rush but jumping out of bed wasn’t on my list of things to do immediately after being stabbed. Whoever was in the parking lot couldn’t be that bad because Seito gave me a wink as if to suggest this was about to get interesting.