Heart's Reflection

by P. R. Mason

  Why hadn't I thought of it before? Keagan was the other half of the equation.

  If he didn't play the game on Friday, then he couldn't be there to kill Liam. The fact that someone else could replace Keagan and make the death-dealing tackle remained a possibility. Nothing was certain. But that wasn't likely, I told myself. Only Liam's brother had the heated drive to stop his brother at all costs. The other team members were just playing a sport. Most likely if I could stop Keagan from going to the game, I could save Liam.

  Suddenly, I did have a chance to change fate, but only if Keagan had meant what he said. And even if he meant it, would I be able to carry through? I was too inhibited to have sex with Liam. Could I cheat on him with his brother? Of course, Liam would never forgive me. But in the end, which was worse, betraying Liam in a way that he would never forgive or allowing him to die?

  Chapter Three

  Bolting out of the bathroom stall, I shot past a shocked Juliette and out into the hall. I made it out of the school without anyone stopping me. As I strode to my Camry, it occurred to me that this was the first time in my entire school career that I'd skipped out, leaving school before my last class. I'd be missing cheerleading practice too but I didn't care if I was thrown off the squad.

  "Who cares if I get in trouble," I muttered. "Where has it gotten me to be good?"

  A parking ticket rested on the windshield, which I grabbed and promptly tore to pieces before throwing on the ground. After a few moments fumbling in my purse, I managed to grab the key ring and unlock the car. I jumped inside, fired the engine, and peeled out.

  Keagan's school was to the south of the downtown and I shattered many a traffic law getting there. Now that I had a plan, it seemed imperative to put it into operation before I chickened out. Or before fate conspired to put some other blockade in my way.

  When I turned the corner to approach his school, Keagan and two other guys were lounging next to the dumpster, smoking.

  Rolling down the window of the old Camry, I shouted to him. "Hey Keagan. Can I give you a ride home?"

  For a mille-second, surprise widened his eyes and slackened his jaw. He tossed the cigarette butt to the pavement and ground it under the heel of his boot. Then a casual smirk replaced surprise. He muttered something to his companions, causing them to laugh and shoot me a leer as Keagan sauntered my way.

  "What are you doing here, Goody?"

  "Don't call me that." The nickname set my teeth on edge. "Do you want a ride or not?" Great. What a way to start a seduction.

  "Oh yeah," he said, pulling open the passenger door. "I definitely want a ride."

  His statement was loud enough for his friends to hear. From their nasty chuckles I knew they were reading in a double entendre, as Keagan had no doubt meant them to do.

  Once he was inside, I set off but couldn't think what to say. We drove along in silence. My hands clenched and unclenched on the steering wheel while Keagan sat in his seat, staring at me with that horrid smile. A glance at him and my stomach churned as if somebody had installed a roulette wheel inside me.

  "Put on your seatbelt would you?" I said, finally.

  "Concerned about me?" he asked.

  "About the ticket I'll get. Since I'm underage I could lose my license."

  He didn't answer, just snorted and reached for the strap. He jerked it down and buckled himself in. "Happy?"

  So far from happy that happy wasn't even a speck in the distance.

  When I didn't answer, he spoke again in that too knowing drawl. "What's this about? I don't imagine you're giving me a ride for my convenience."

  I'd have to tell him sometime but somehow I couldn't force out any words. This had all seemed like such a good idea in theory but in practice my seduction techniques reeked.

  "Well?" he asked.

  "Ummm."

  We pulled up in front of his house and I stopped the car but kept it idling.

  "Okay, then," Keagan said with a fake cheerfulness, as if he knew I was struggling to come out with something. "Thanks for the ride."

  He pulled on the handle and the passenger door swung open. Keagan had one foot out the door when I put a hand on his arm.

  "Wait," I said.

  He relaxed back into the seat and shut the door while I switched off the ignition.

  "Youwannagooutwithme?" The mumbled words tumbled out of my mouth.

  "Huh?"

  Straightening my shoulders, I sucked in a deep breath. This ninny act of mine just wouldn't do. I turned and faced him.

  Staring Keagan in the eye, I said, "A date. You and me. How about it?"

  Except for a few blinks, Keagan's expression didn't register any reaction. Why had I never noticed before what long lashes he had over those gray eyes?

  "You want to go on a date. With me." He pronounced every word distinctly.

  "Yes."

  Now his eyebrows arched and he pointed at himself. "With me?"

  I nodded.

  Shifting to turn away and stare at the floorboards of the car, he said, "Sure. Tonight?"

  "No. Tomorrow night."

  "After the game?" Keagan looked up at me and a smirk twisted his lips. His eyes twinkled with a cynicism that cut at me. Somehow he already knew what I would say. I said it anyway.

  "No. During the game."

  "Do I get the same deal you offered Liam," he joked. "You'll go with me to the reserve?"

  "Yes," I said, swallowing a lump the size of the hope diamond. "If that's what you want."

  "Why?" He asked.

  "Maybe I just want someone to care enough about me to give up the big game. You heard Liam. I'm a manipulative tease."

  "That just doesn't seem like you," he muttered. He shook his head as if trying to clear it of confusion. "There has to be something else—"

  Interrupting him, I squeezed his arm. "The important thing is you said you'd have taken the deal."

  "You were joking." His eyes bored into mine with their intensity. "So I was teasing you."

  "I'm not joking now." My gaze didn't waver from his. "I want to go out with you. You've been telling me to go wild. Now I have."

  "I don't believe it," he said. " Something is going on and I just don't know what."

  The thoughts in his head almost screamed out of his furrowed brow, thoughts that would have him backing out. I had to stop those thoughts.

  Acting on impulse, I lunged forward to plant a hard kiss on his lips. When I pulled back, slightly breathless myself, his eyes had widened and his mouth had shaped into an "o".

  "Wha—" He touched a finger to his lips.

  "There. I want your awesome body. I want to go out with you. Satisfied?"

  His face relaxed back into his cynical smirk. "Okay," he finally said. "I'll go out with you."

  "Good—"

  "But if we're going to the reserve, we go tonight."

  When I would have protested he added, "And tomorrow night. Two dates. You spend the night with me at the reserve tonight and I'll go out with you tomorrow night during the game."

  My mind spun as I nodded.

  "But there's one more thing you have to do," he said.

  Nodding again I said, "I'll do it."

  "Don't you even want to know what it is before you agree?"

  "Whatever it is, I agree."

  In for a penny, in for a pound. Even if it was a pound of my flesh, what choice did I have? How much worse could it be anyway?

  * * * * *

  When I arrived at the Ellsworth house promptly at six, as Keagan had demanded, I switched off the car engine but couldn't quite bring myself to go in. After about five minutes, I pushed the handle mechanism, swung the car door open, and got out. I then grabbed my purse, to sling the strap over my shoulder and across my chest, before straightening my pink cardigan so the buttons wouldn't bunch.

  "Stop stalling." A thump of my fist to thigh didn't produce movement. "And stop talking to yourself or somebody will think you're crazy." What do you mean somebody? You are crazy.


  Eventually, dragging in a deep breath, I set off. The walk up the path to the house was like the walk to the gallows—not to be overly dramatic or anything. Every step of my clogs on the cement seemed to echo. I was about to fulfill Keagan's condition for the date and it had been worse than I thought.

  After a couple tentative knocks so soft that the most attentive elephant couldn't hear them, I pulled myself up straight and wiped my wet palms against my denim skirt. "Quit being ridiculous. You can do this," I muttered before rapping—hard. Pounding was probably a fair characterization.

  Keagan's father jerked the door open. "What the hell is that—Oh, Tara, it's you."

  "Sorry, Mr. Ellsworth. I didn't mean knock so loud." Trying to force out a smile, my expression was probably more like a grimace because my lips felt set in a fast drying cement.

  His face relaxed into a smile in return as he widened the door. "Come on in. But Liam isn't home right now."

  With my purse hugged to my body, I stepped forward. "Thanks, ummm. That's okay." A bullfrog in my throat needed clearing before I could get out the next part. "I'm here for Keagan."

  A huge gasp of air escaped with the last word. There. I'd done as he'd demanded. I'd told his parents...or at least one of them.

  As the thought occurred to me, his mother stepped around the corner and into the entry. "Hi, Tara. Liam isn't home. Are you supposed to meet him here?"

  "No I...ummm."

  Just then my date came out of his room and strode down the hall to stand at the top of the stairs. The white t-shirt that evidenced the hard muscles of his chest hung over low-slung jeans. His bicep flexed as he slipped on a navy blue dress shirt and began to button it.

  I found it hard to swallow again, but not from fear this time. But even acknowledging to myself how physically drawn I was to him, pangs cut at me with a thousand tiny razorblades. How could I feel this way, betraying Liam in thought as well as act? My boyfriend at least deserved emotional fidelity.

  For a moment I registered a hopeful expression on Keagan's face before our eyes met. Maybe not hopeful as much as anticipating something. But as if he knew my guilty thoughts about his brother, his expression transformed in an instant to its usual bored cynicism.

  "Liam should be home any time now," Mrs. Ellsworth continued.

  "I'm meeting Keagan, not Liam," I announced.

  "I don't under—Oh, are you giving Keagan a ride?" Mrs. Ellsworth asked.

  "I'll just call Liam and tell him you're here," Mr. Ellsworth chimed in, moving to the hall phone.

  "Don't call Liam," I said in a harsher tone than I'd intended. "I'm not giving Keagan a ride...well ... I am but..."

  Keagan grabbed his off-white hoodie from where it had been draped over the banister and proceeded down the stairs with a grin rivaling the Grinch's. He was clearly enjoying the uncomfortable scene.

  "That is, we're going in my car but it's a date," I continued. "I'm going on a date with your son... with Keagan."

  Just as I said his name, he reached the bottom of the staircase.

  His parents' shocked silence continued for the time it took him to walk down the hall to my side.

  His father's shock was the first to change to anger. "What is this?" Mr. Ellsworth finally demanded, his gaze darting back-and-forth between his son and me. "What has Keagan done? What is he threatening you with?"

  "Nothing," I answered, my entire body shaking as I put my arm through Keagan's. My action seemed to startle him almost as much as it did his parents.

  "He must have done something," Mr. Ellsworth said.

  Keagan shook his head. "Is it so impossible to think she might want to date me?"

  "Yes," his father yelled. "When she can have your brother, why would she want you? Tara's always been a good girl. I know you must have done something to force her. You worthless piece of shi—"

  "Stop it! You're wrong," I interrupted with a sharp shout.

  As Mr. Ellsworth's jaw dropped Mrs. Ellsworth gasped.

  I lowered my voice for the next bit. "Mr. Ellsworth, I don't want to be disrespectful to you or Mrs. Ellsworth but I'm just not going to listen to you run down Keagan any more. It's not fair. He hasn't threatened me or done anything...ungentlemanly." Weird word but I couldn't find anything any better. "In fact, I had to beg him to go out with me. Keagan is a good person. You've been forcing him to be bad in order to live up to your expectations."

  "Now listen here, young lady—" Mr. Ellsworth started.

  "No, sir. This is your home, and you're adults. I can't stop you from verbally abusing your son when I'm not here, but I don't have to listen to it. I've been a witness to it for too long without saying something."

  "Verbal..." Mr. Ellsworth sputtered. "What abuse? Witness what?"

  "Tara," Mrs. Ellsworth exclaimed. "I'm going to call your grandmother, young lady."

  "Go right ahead. She knows what I'm doing." I tugged at Keagan's arm. "C'mon. Let's go."

  Outside, Keagan abruptly stopped when we reached the end of the block.

  I'd been so mad we strode right past my car. I was just about to say something when he looked up at the sky. A sound between a scream and a cry erupted. He turned to look at me and another sound more like a laugh boomed out of him.

  "What?" I asked.

  "Goody's not so goody."

  "Yeah. Maybe now you can give that horrid nickname a rest."

  "Not only the nickname but no more lewd comments," he said but then ruined it with, "for tonight at least."

  "Nice."

  He hooted to the sky again. "My parents—"

  "I know. They'll probably take it out on you later. I'm sor—"

  He grabbed my shoulders and then stopped my word with a quick kiss.

  "Don't say you're sorry. I don't care what happens later. I loved it. I love y—I loved what you said." Another booming laugh finally trickled to chuckles. "Did you see their faces? I bet dad'll have to check his pants. He probably shit so many bricks he can build that retaining wall in the backyard he's always wanted."

  I bit my bottom lip to stop a laugh, not to mention the tingles that rippled along its surface from the touch of his mouth on mine.

  "Let's go." Clutching my hand, he tugged me into a run the rest of the way to the car.

  "Where to?" I asked.

  "Anywhere."

  Chapter Four

  The local organic burger joint with a vintage car motif seemed like a good idea—meat for Keagan and vegetarian fare for me. But then I spotted Liam's football teammates Billy and Quinn, known at school as BQ, seated at the counter. The two were both engrossed in jamming food into their faces as fast as possible.

  With them busy with their private burger-eating contest, we just might avoid them seeing us, I thought. Even so, I couldn't help squirming. If BQ saw us, they'd spread the news all over school. Liam didn't deserve that humiliation.

  "Two tonight?" The hostess asked.

  Glancing at Keagan, anticipating his affirmative answer, I found him staring at me instead. "Would you rather leave?"

  His question surprised me. He'd insisted I declare our date to his parents and I'd have thought he'd glory in Liam's embarrassment at the hands of BQ no matter my discomfort with it.

  "No, it doesn't matter they're here." I tried to sound convincing but my voice wobbled.

  "Why don't we get something to-go," Keagan said, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. "You can wait in the car while I order. Veggie for you, right?"

  Nodding with a grateful smile, I squeezed back.

  Before I could move out the door, Billy's obnoxious voice stopped me as he shouted from ten feet away. "Tara-girl. Where's my wingman, Liam?"

  "We're both going," Keagan whispered to me and, with his guiding hand at the small of my back, we turned to push out the door.

  "Hey," Quinn said. "She's here with his brother."

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Billy jump off his stool as we exited. Billy followed us outside with Quinn at his heels. Bi
lly grabbed my shoulder to pull me around just as Keagan and I reached the front of my car.

  "You're here with him?" Billy demanded.

  "Yes." I nodded and cleared my throat. "I'm with him on a date."

  "Hands off her Billy or I'll make your head into a hood ornament," Keagan warned, shoving Billy.

  "You and what army, dog breath?" Quinn joined in with a child-like taunt so ridiculous I wanted to come back with yes you are but what am I?

  Billy stepped back. Lifting both hands, he released me as if I had cooties. Then he shook his head and gave a snort. "You aren't worth it. You're a traitor to Double Dick as well as a slut."

  Keagan made a motion, his arm twitching, and I had to grab him to stop him from swinging on Billy. "No," I said. "Please. No fighting."

  He subsided into a huffing glower first at Billy then Quinn then back again. Keagan's angry breath chugged in and out.

  With a disgusted, wave of his hand and a pfffffffft, Billy turned on one heel and sauntered back to the door of the restaurant. Quinn got out his phone, and held it up as if taking a photo, before trotting after Billy.

  My hand shook as I reached in my purse for the car keys. Finally, getting them out of where they had seemed caught, I held them up triumphantly. Keagan took them from me and unlocked the passenger door. He opened it wide and motioned for me to get in.

  "I'm driving," he said. "You're too shaken up."

  "I'm all right," I insisted, but slipped gratefully into the passenger seat anyway.

  "Yeah sure," he muttered. "You're about as right as a feather in a hurricane."

  He closed the door and then rounded the front bumper to the other side. Billy stuck his head out of the restaurant door and shouted something I, thankfully, couldn't make out.

  I heard the ping of my cell phone as Keagan opened the driver's side door. Pulling the cell out to examine its face, I then saw a message from Liam: Whas'up? A photo of Keagan and me outside the restaurant accompanied the text. Omigod, Quinn had wasted no time.

  Oh well, Liam would know soon enough anyway. With shaking fingers I texted back: Imona d8 w/ K. And then I stared at the phone waiting for a reply. The silence hurt my ears, so I powered the cell off and threw it in my purse.