by catt dahman
“One at a time. First, a secret men keep: we think pregnant women are very sexy, seriously; it’s some sort of instinct we have; we think it is very hot.”
“Oh, boy, that’s weird.”
“Next, you have done great with Hannah and Katie, and, I guess, like all new mothers, you’ll figure it out; that’s instinct, too. Besides, all the females will want to help you with a baby.”
“Okay.” She wanted to laugh again at him for being so logical when he was usually all about brute toughness, but she held herself in line.
“I doubt Len will give you more than fifteen minutes to have a baby and get back to work…so….”
She laughed now.
“Laugh at me, will ya? Fine, but I’m telling you, you’ll have to have the baby and get back to helping Len, or he’ll be a mess, a worse mess, I mean. But if you need a little more time away from responsibilities, I think Len and everyone else would understand.”
“Okay. Good. I might need a full hour.”
“Wow…selfish.” Juan kissed her. “Now, as you can plainly see, I am not turned off at all…in fact….”
“Shut up, and explain the rest after I’m finished with you.” She rolled over onto him, and he did stop talking for a while.
Later, they waded back, Juan helping her on the slippery rocks. The water felt amazing, cold and clean. They waited to dry a little before getting dressed.
“I can’t do anything about there being zombies, raiders, and nuts in the world, yanno,” Juan said, holding her hand. “I wish I could. But I’ll swear this to you: I will give my life to protect you, and the baby and the girls.”
“Juan….”
“Hush. I don’t know what you want or have planned, but I’ll follow your lead with this.If you want me, I’d like to be with you. I’d like to be your protector….”
Beth kissed him lightly as she dressed, “I want to be with you, just slowly because of the girls, not too slowly though, if that’s okay? I have to move on, and I want to be with you.”
“Half of the men in camp are crazy in love with you; how did I win you?” Juan asked, and his innocent, open question made her stomach flip.
“You can handle…about the baby?” She hated that question, but he was a man, and maybe he loved her already, but the fact was, she had another man’s baby in her belly.
“Yes. And I like something like John Kimball Vasquez for his name; think it over anyway.” He finished dressing and folded the blanket, stowing it back in a saddlebag.
“Ummm…and if it’s a girl?”
“Then, she’s gonna hate having that name.”
Beth let loose peals of laughter, not commenting that he threw in his own last name, and the Americanization of Juan as well.
They mounted their horses and went back to patrolling the fence.
Juan didn’t comment about the rings from her left hand being gone.
Or that she hadn’t told him ‘No.’
21
Arkansas
It was another week before Kim knew much of what was going on. Ricky helped him into the big tub to get him clean, but then he was unable to do much more for him. It took everyone to help Kim out of the tub and onto a clean bed that Ann and Velma prepared for him.
A former nurse, Ann, took supplies home with her from the small hospital where she worked.When the Red got so bad, she saved Kim’s life with her skills and medicine. He was unconscious, but she rigged an IV for him and then tended his back, hissing when she saw the marks left by a whip. As gently as possible, she pressed out infection, debrided the dead flesh, washed out the wounds, applied cream, taped them shut, and bandaged tightly. His thigh wound was just as bad, and it was close to being gangrene.
Ann gave him antibiotics through the IV, along with pain medication, which helped him rest. For a week, it was too close to call; Ann didn’t give them false hope.
Mark and Andie held each other in their bed and let time and medicine heal their wounds.
After two weeks, Andie began her journal, but she was still skittish and afraid; Mark worried. He watched her one night as she shivered violently; her eyes were still somewhere else as she looked blankly ahead in a thousand-yard stare. Her skin was paler, with an opal cast, and her lips, trembling over chattering teeth, were a violet shade, turning purple.
The thunder and lightning terrified her.
Mark tried to lead her by the hand, but she couldn’t walk, so picking her up, he carried her to the large bathroom. He turned on the hot water, watching her as he waited for the inside of the shower to get steamy. He and the rest worked on the generator, and he carried the fuel himself for them to have hot showers, but Andie was not washed yet. He was afraid she was shutting down mentally.
She didn’t look at him in the eyes, and if he moved right in front of her face, suddenly her luminous eyes would settle on something just to the right or left of his face. Up close, she couldn’t look away, but she stared at his forehead.
“You’re going into a kind of shock, so get into the warm water. I’ll leave you alone to get showered,” he said.But Andie didn’t move or act as if she heard him. “Okay, we’ll do it the difficult way.”
The water was very hot and would feel good, so he pushed her to the open door of the large shower, his arms guiding her. The first splashes soaked through his shirt and pants, so he kicked off his shoes, pulling her in with him, fully clothed. Her pajamas turned deep teal as the water soaked her. She stood still, allowing the water to sluice over her body. “Andie, you’re safe now. I promise.”
He held her close to him, letting her feel his heartbeat against her own chest, running his hands over her back and shoulders, trying to get her knotted muscles to ease up and relax. She didn’t fight him or move a muscle when he positioned her so that the hot stream ran down her hair and face. She didn’t wipe water out of her eyes.
“I’m going to get some of your clothes off so that you can bathe and relax. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay, or I’ll go, if you want.”
“Don’t leave me,” she said softly, “am I ugly, Mark?”
“No, Andie, you are a beautiful woman.”
“They made me feel ugly and dirty. I want to be clean again.”
He first took her hands and washed them under the hot water, scrubbing away the stains only she could see. Next, slowly, so as not startle her, he knelt at her feet, took her pajama bottoms and slid them down her hips, thighs, and legs. He tossed them, too. He held her again close to him, muttering that everything was okay.
He yanked his dripping shirt over his head and threw it into the growing pile of sodden clothing, and gently, inches at a time, raised her top, watching her eyes for anything at all. When the top was in the pile, he turned and yanked off his pants and still held her, stroking her arms. “You’re clean, Andie. I swear.”
With one hand, he grabbed the shampoo he liked: a hemp and y’lang y’lang. “In Tagalog, Y’lang Y’lang means wilderness or rare. That fits, doesn’t it?”
He soaped her scalp, massaging gently, slowly pulling the rich lather through her hair, then rinsing; he repeated the steps.
Next, he picked a sponge with two sides; he poured the shampoo onto the side with the dense, soft bristles and began to wash her neck, throat, and then her back, where he scrubbed a very long time.
Her muscles began to relax, and Mark decided the work involved in having hot showers was worth the trouble.
He then used the soft brush on her breasts, stomach, and chest. Sitting cross-legged in the downpour of hot water, Mark took her foot, making her balance on one leg, but she showed no reaction. He used the brush, cleaning. He went up her leg to her knee and over the calf, then the back and front of the thigh. Then he washed her other leg.
He was the one trembling now.
He stood and pulled her against him again, reassuring her, promising she was okay and telling her to trust him. He dried them off and led her to bed.
In the night, she began talking to him more,
was less afraid, and was more like the Andie he had known before.
During the third week, Kim was awake, and Andie began putting on some of the weight and muscle she lost. “Hey, Kimball, now you stay quiet and behave, or Ann will have my ass.”
“I promise. If you tell me everything about you and Mark getting away.”
Andie told him about how she ran like a frightened rabbit; then, she told him Mark’s story as Mark came in and sat on the edge of the bed, glad to see Kim awake and sipping broth. He took over telling Kim how they were found by Ivory Joe and his family.
“It took all of us to get you out of that nasty tub, dried, and into bed; you may have lost weight but still….”
“Sorry,” Kim said.
“You were a bloody, filthy mess, Kim, seriously, you owe Ricky for getting you clean.”
“I owe them my life,” Kim said.
Ann came in. “Don’t you tire my patient,” she threatened.
“We won’t.”
“If you eat on your own and get to the bathroom, we can remove all the tubes and needles, okay?”
Kim said he thought he could handle that. Ann promised she would be back in a few minutes.
“What happened out there, Kim?”
He told them about dragging the man and leaving him and about how he handcuffed Mike to the tree. “Then, I don’t think you really want to know.”
Andie kissed Kim on the forehead and left the room.
“Did you get revenge? Is that it?” Mark asked.
“You sleeping with Andie?”
“Yeh, I…it happened, ” Mark said, “I didn’t mean it to happen; we were both having a bad time and thinking you were going to die.”
“It’s okay. We do what we have to do. George would say we do what we have to do on our own terms, and we stand by those terms,” Kim said, “so I had Mike cuffed, and I thought about all they did to us, all of it.”
“And what did you do?”
“I removed his tongue and eyes and his fingers and toes, and I skinned him.”
“Jeez, Kim, you sat there skinning a dead guy…what were….”
“He wasn’t dead.”
Mark sighed. “I didn’t think…I don’t know how you did it.”
“I just thought like Len on a really pissed off, bad day,” Kim said.
Ann shooed Mark out before he could say anything else, and as the days passed, Kim refused to speak of it again.
Once the pain medicine was taken away, Kim didn’t talk as often but spent hours just staring into space when Ricky and Bernie weren’t making him exercise and stretch his back muscles. Mark helped by rubbing good-smelling oils into Kim’s back as Ann directed; she didn’t want him to lose his range of motion.
“Ivory Joe and the rest want to go back home with us.”
“To Hopetown?” Kim asked.
“Yeh. Some of the gas may work long enough for us to get home again. I miss home and Misty. I am thinking two SUVs, and we leave day after tomorrow.”
“Mark,” Kim handed him his ring, “give this to Beth for me?”
“Why can’t you?”
“I’m not going with you.” Kim smiled sadly. “I’ll miss you and Andie, and you give the rest my best, and tell Beth I love her. I mean, I love her with what’s left; things are different; I’ve changed.”
“Awe, Kim, come on seriously….”
“Mark, you handle it, you and Andie. I’m gonna find a saddle, tack, and a horse, and ride around for a while, see what people are doing, and help some if they need me.”
“Are you ever coming home?”
“Maybe. One day, I guess I will, but I need time, Mark; this changed me. I need some time to get used to who I am now.”
“Everyone wants you to come on home though….”
“Maybe in time,” Kim said, but he didn’t look sure of that.
It was four weeks almost to the day from when they arrived at Ivory Joe’s home until they left in two SUVs. They waved as Kim began his walk to find a horse and tack; Ann sniffled as they left him, worried, but Mark just watched one of his best friends go off alone, feeling as if he somehow failed him.
22
Hopetown
Beth gathered her closest friends: Len, Alex, Misty, Julia, Johnny, and George, along with Juan and her daughters to tell them she was pregnant.
“Doc thinks I’m about three and a half months along, so we can expect the baby next January.”
“Are you excited?” Hannah asked Juan. She noticed that Beth and he spent as much time together as possible and suspected they were together; it was okay since she liked and respected Juan.
Beth glanced at Hannah with a little shock. Hannah was a sharp girl and knew Juan couldn’t be the father, but she was setting up the pretense. “He’s very excited.”
“Hannah, as she gets further along, you have to help me make sure she rests and doesn’t go off on adventures. I’m depending on your help,” Juan said.
“I will run away if you all gang up on me,” Beth groaned, making Katie giggle. “I hope we get a boy.”
“Well, now you all know.Charlie team has gate duty,” Beth said. She tied her boots and got to her feet. She and Alex went out together so he could tell her about the cute guy he had his eye on, making Beth laugh.
Bravo team told them the gate had been quiet all day and mostly they patrolled with little to keep them busy. All of them were good on horseback now, but Beth thought her team learned the best since Juan spent so much extra time teaching them skills; he was a natural with horses.
Beth dreamed of the dinner to come: fried chicken and gravy with rice, cucumber salad, squash, and apple pie, plus a dozen side dishes.
The gardens flourished, and the herd animals and chickens kept them in meat and eggs. The library was filled with books they gathered from the city library, and Beth wanted to learn more about the emus they collected.
Juan made her take a break and drink water since it was a hot July day. August would be hotter and more humid, but the temperature now was over a hundred degrees. In fact, the only thing Beth really missed was air conditioning although George said their bodies would adjust after a few years.
“You okay?”
“I’m good. The shade feels nice. What say we get in a swim later, take the girls, and enjoy some time in the water?” Beth suggested.
“Good plan,” Juan said, pulling Beth to her feet for a kiss. She welcomed him into her life with the girls, and he took every bit of the opening she allowed him, claiming her. Life was too short not to fall into things full tilt. Some were surprised at them as a couple, but not a lot.
He was strict with the girls, and they enjoyed the attention since it was just over-protection and caring. Hannah, when she didn’t get her way with Beth, would sometimes call out, “Dad, Mom is being stubborn….” And Katie mimicked it, but it was teasing, so Juan didn’t take it seriously, just glad for the role he had.
“Incoming,” Carl announced.
Beth was all business as they walked to the gates. “What do you have?”
“Two SUVs.”
Juan radioed to base that they was incoming.
Carl motioned that both SUVs could enter the first gate. The dark windows didn’t give a clue as to who was coming in, which bothered Carl. He motioned the drivers to get out. “Only drivers,” he called out, gun ready if needed; his body was wire-tense.
A young man stepped out of one, and from the other, a familiar man climbed out. “Hi, US Militia.”
“Mark? Oh, my God, Mark?” Beth broke protocol and ran to hug him. “Someone go get Misty; hurry.” All around, there were cheers.
Mark swung her around as he hugged her. “Oh, Bethy, I’m so glad to be home. I kept dreaming of this moment.” He had tears in his eyes, but he was smiling.
Everyone crowded around to shake hands with Mark, though most of the team didn’t know him since they came in after he was gone. Mark knew Thurman, Benny, Conner, Teeg, Pan, Rev, Natalie, Henry, Randy, Rae,
and Big Bill, but there were as many new faces as familiar ones.
Mark introduced the other man as Ricky and said he and his family saved their lives after the escape from the RA and zombie attack, which he promised to tell them about. “Ricky and the rest are amazing. Ann is a nurse….” Mark broke off to hug Hannah and Katie as they arrived at the gate.
“Mark….” Misty came flying down the slope, screaming, and Teeg broke the rules, opening the second gate so Mark could meet her in that area, scooping her up while they talked at the same time and cried together. Len and the rest waited patiently until they could welcome Mark home. Maryanne and Toni made their way along the path, too.
Someone got Misty a chair as she almost fainted from the excitement. She slumped in the chair and sipped water for a few seconds, not letting go of Mark’s hand.
“Maybe….” Juan looked at his hand that held Beth’s hand.
She gripped his hand tighter. “Maybe nothing. I moved on with the man I want to be with.” She said in certainty. She loved Kim, and that was something that would always remain in her heart, but she was in love with Juan, and despite the baby, they had their own family now. He was moving in that evening, in fact.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Beth told him. She meant it.
“Look, Andie is here.” Mark motioned, and she shyly got out of the SUV. She was no longer bruised, but she had lost weight and had taken some severe beatings; her eyes still flickered with a little fear.
“Andie, about time we saw you again,” George said, hugging her.
Len kissed her right on the mouth, making her blush, “I’m glad to see you.”
Hannah and the rest all wanted hugs.
“Andie and Mark, I’ll be damned,” Johnny said happily. She drew her lips tight, waiting for Kim to emerge. It was as if they returned from the dead, and didn’t people do that every day in this new world? Only this was a good return.