by La Jill Hunt
“Love you too, Ashley.” I laughed.
“Hey, girl.” Nikki’s face replaced Avery’s on the screen. She looked like she was exhausted, and I felt bad. Not only had she worked a double shift, but instead of going home, she stopped by the hospital so that I could FaceTime with Avery. I didn’t dare call Ashley’s phone, even though I was the one who paid the bill. I didn’t want to take the chance of Diane seeing my number and taking it out on her.
“Thanks so much, Nikki. I know you’re tired, so go ahead and go home. Call me in the morning,” I told her.
“I’m fine. I’m gonna hang out here for a few.”
“Di still not around?” I shook my head.
“No, they said she was here earlier, but she doesn’t stay around for long. Told the nurses she had a meeting and would be back,” Nikki said.
“She’s probably still avoiding talking to the police.” I lowered my voice so the girls wouldn’t hear me.
“What’s up with that? I heard Patrick talking to some lawyer about taking her case. This whole thing is getting crazy,” Nikki said.
While standing in the kitchen, I heard the front door open, followed by the sound of keys being placed in the bowl on the table in my foyer. Darnell was home. I had found a way to avoid him most of the time by either not being home or locking myself in our bedroom or the upstairs study, where I was temporarily working from home.
“Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call you back in a little while,” I told her and hung up. I looked at the sandwich I was halfway finished making and contemplated throwing it in the trash, but I was starving. I inhaled deeply and decided to finish doing what I was doing.
“Hey,” Darnell said when he walked in and saw me standing there.
I glanced up at him and paused before finally saying, “Hey.”
“How was your day?”
“Fine,” I said, cutting my finally finished sandwich in half.
“That’s good. So, you making one of those for me?” he said with a weak smile.
My fingers tightened around the knife I was holding, and I looked at him like he was crazy. “You really do have a death wish, huh? Did you really just ask me that while I’m holding a knife?”
“I’m just trying to break the tension in here, Celia. Hell, it’s so thick you can use that knife to cut it. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true. You’ve been home for three days and haven’t said a word to me.” He leaned against the island and folded his arms.
“I don’t have shit to say to you, Darnell. You’d better be glad that we’re having this brief conversation, which is now over.” I tossed the knife into the sink and picked up the plate holding my sandwich.
“So, we’re just not gonna talk about this at all. We’re gonna walk around here like total strangers who happen to live together in this big-ass house?” He frowned.
“That’s pretty much how we’ve been living for the past few months anyway, isn’t it? At least now I know why. For months, I asked you what was wrong, and you lied. I don’t do well with liars, especially ones who are fucking my sister. So, excuse me if I don’t feel like talking right now,” I snapped.
“I get it, Celia. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I don’t even have a lame-ass excuse for doing what I did, except I was selfish. But I need for us to figure this out and move past it. I’ll do whatever it takes—counseling, therapy, whatever. Just tell me what you need from me, and I’ll do it,” he pleaded.
“What I need from you is some space, Darnell. Guess it’s a good thing that we live in this big-ass house, huh?” I rolled my eyes and went upstairs to my bedroom. As hungry as I had been while I was in the kitchen, somehow, I no longer had an appetite. I put the sandwich on my nightstand and wiped away my tears, grateful that they hadn’t started falling until I was alone. Darnell sounded sincere with his apology, but I wasn’t ready to accept it. I was still mad as hell, and just because he said sorry, that did not mean I was ready to forgive him anytime soon.
I grabbed the remote and tried to find some drama-filled, ratchet reality TV show to distract me from my own problems. I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep until I heard my cell phone ringing. I sat up and saw that it was Nikki.
“What’s up?” I answered, clearing my throat because I sounded like a man.
“Have you talked to Kendra?” she asked.
“No, why?”
“Cele, Bilal just called me from the hospital.”
“Is something wrong with Avery? What happened?”
“No, it’s not Avery. Kendra’s missing,” Nikki said.
“Missing? What do you mean, missing?”
“She left the hospital earlier, and no one’s seen or heard from her since. She texted Bilal and asked him to bring food to the girls, and they were supposed to meet up here. But she hasn’t shown. He’s called, Ashley’s called, but she’s not answering,” Nikki told me. “He went home, thinking she’d be there, but she’s not. We’re worried.”
I looked at the time and saw that it was almost ten o’clock. “Okay, let me see if I can reach her. I’ll call you back.”
I dialed Kendra’s number, but her phone went straight to voicemail. I sent her a text, asking her to call me ASAP. Then, I called Bilal.
“What’s going on?” I asked. “Where’s Kendra? When’s the last time you talked to her, and what did you say?”
“I—she—I talked to her last around noon. I told her I was doing a system install for a client. She was excited because Avery was awake, and the nurses told her Diane asked her to sit with her this afternoon. You know she’s been tripping about when Kendra could be in the room. She sent me a text a little later, saying she had somewhere to go right quick, and I haven’t heard from her since. I don’t know where she is. She never came back to the hospital. She’s not at my apartment, and she’s not answering her phone.” Bilal sounded nervous, which made me anxious.
“What errand did she have to run? Did she say where she was going?” I stood up and started pacing back and forth.
“Celia, that’s the thing. She was going home to get something for Avery,” he told me.
“Home? Her home?” I slipped on my sneakers and grabbed a hoodie from my closet.
“Yeah, her home.”
I hung up before Bilal could say anything else and headed out to find my niece.
I kept calling Kendra’s phone over and over, but it was either dead, or she had turned it off. I became overwhelmed with guilt for not being there when she needed me the most. I knew how unstable and psychotic my sister was, and I was the only reliable person she had, but I got too caught up in my own issues to even be concerned with everything she was dealing with. I was just as selfish as Darnell.
I made it to Diane’s house in record time. The house was completely dark when I got there. I sat in front for a few seconds and tried to think. Then I called Champ.
“Hey, Celia. Everything okay?” he asked.
“Have you talked to or heard from Kendra?” I asked.
“No, not since yesterday when she called to tell me Avery was awake. Why? What’s going on?”
I didn’t know if telling him Kendra was missing was premature. I didn’t want to cause a panic if there was no need. I decided that I wouldn’t alarm him just yet. “I’ve just been trying to call her, and she’s not answering.”
“Oh, okay.” He got quiet for a second and said, “She told me what happened, Celia. About Di and Darnell. I’m sorry. It’s a bad situation, and she feels bad. She was just caught in the middle and couldn’t figure out what to do. Her mom put her in a position that she never should have been in. Kendra loves you. You know that.”
“I know she does, Champ. And I was wrong for abandoning her when she needed me. But I’m gonna fix it,” I told him.
“I know you are. But hey, I’m working overnight tonight, and I gotta get back. If I talk to baby girl before you do, I’ll let her know you’re looking for her,” he said.
“Thanks, Champ,” I said.
I sat outside the house, waiting for another half hour, then I drove to the one place I figured my sister would be. As I drove through Crossways Projects, a lifetime of memories came flooding back to me. It was the neighborhood where Diane and I had grown up, and the place where we vowed we would move away from and never look back. It seemed as if I was the only one who had done so. Even though she no longer lived there, my sister still hung in Crossways like it was home sweet home.
I took a deep breath as I parked my car and got out, praying that it would still be there when I came out. I walked up to Ronda’s door and knocked hard so I could be heard over the music that was blasting.
“Who is it?” Ronda yelled.
“It’s Cele!” I yelled.
“Who?”
“Cele, Ronda.”
“What the hell do you want?” she asked, opening the door slightly. I glanced past her and saw several people sitting in the small living room area, but I didn’t see Diane.
“I’m looking for Di,” I told her.
“She ain’t here.” Ronda gave me an ugly look, which wasn’t hard, considering how unattractive she already was.
“Aunt Celia!” Ashley came running to the door and gave me a hug. I kissed the top of her forehead and said, “Hey there.”
“What are you doing here? Is Kendra with you? Did y’all come to get me?” she said in a pleading voice.
“No, baby, Kendra’s not with me. I’m here to see your mom,” I told her.
“She’s in the back room,” Ashley said. “I’m not allowed back there.”
“That’s probably a good thing,” I said, then looked at Ronda. “Can you go get Di, please?”
Ronda rolled her eyes again and said, “You wait out here.”
“Aunt Celia, I don’t know where Kendra is. She didn’t come back to the hospital at all. She was supposed to go and come right back, but something happened when she got there. I heard Mama telling Ronda she and Kendra had a fight,” Ashley whispered. “I don’t wanna stay here. Please take me with you.”
“I don’t think your mom’s gonna let me, Ashley, but if anything happens, you call me, you understand?”
“But you said if Mama found out I called—”
“Don’t worry about what I said. You call me.” I hugged her close to me.
A few seconds later, Diane appeared in the doorway. “Go get your ass inside, Ashley.”
Ashley looked from her mother to me, and I nodded.
“Go ahead inside. Remember what I told you.”
Ashley hugged me one more time and then ran back into the apartment. When we were alone, Diane asked, “This must be hella important for you to bring your ass here to find me. I’m surprised you knew how to get here.”
“Di, where’s Kendra?”
“What? How the hell should I know where the hell she is?” She frowned.
“Because you were the last person to see her, and now we can’t find her, that’s why,” I said, trying my best to remain calm.
“How you figure?”
“Di, don’t play dumb. You had some kind of fight at your house while she was there. Now, what happened to her?”
“We ain’t have no fight. It was more like a misunderstanding.” Diane smirked.
“What kind of misunderstanding?” I demanded.
“She saw her little boyfriend leaving my house, and she flipped out. Said I was a whore who stole everybody’s man, including yours.”
“You slept with Bilal?” I screamed. I couldn’t believe my sister, especially after what she had just done to me. My heart broke for my niece, because I knew exactly how she felt. It took everything within me not to strangle Diane.
“Did I say I slept with him?”
I paused then said, “But she thinks you slept with him. And you let her believe that? Why would you let her think that?”
“I don’t give a damn what she thinks, and I don’t know where the fuck she is. I told her to stay away from me and the twins, and she left. That’s the last time I saw her.”
“What is wrong with you, Diane? Why would you push away the one person who was always there for you? That’s your daughter, your first born, and you hurt her to the point of no return?” I asked.
“You should’ve heard the things she said to me. She was the one who hurt me, over a dude who is only using her and is gonna eventually throw her ass away for the next piece of ass he comes into contact with. She would rather be loyal to him and not me.”
“How do you know he’s going to do that?”
“Because, Cele, that’s what men do, and the sooner she learns that lesson, the better off she’ll be. What I did today helped her. I taught her a lesson she’ll never forget.”
“What lesson? How not to trust men?”
“Exactly. You trusted Darnell, and look at what he did. They’re all the same. Even if I didn’t fuck Bilal, I did her a favor by letting her think I did. Now, is there anything else?” Diane asked. “Because I have somebody waiting for me inside.”
I realized that my sister was damaged beyond repair and emotionally scarred to the point that she could no longer feel human emotions. The only thing she cared about was attention from men. She had always been that way, even as a child. She was a daddy’s girl, no doubt. Our father loved us both, but there was something special about Diane. When he would come home from work, she would climb in his lap and tell him all about her day, and he would laugh. On those occasions when he would have his friends over at the house, he would call Diane to come into the living room and perform for them.
“Di, show them that dance you were doing the other day,” he would yell, turning up the radio.
Diane would smile as she effortlessly moved her body to whatever song was playing and showed off her dance moves. “This one, Daddy?”
“Yeah, baby girl. That’s what I’m talking about. Look at my baby, y’all. She got some moves!” Daddy would brag.
“You right, Nelson. That girl can dance, and she’s pretty, too,” his friends would comment.
I would stand in the doorway, unnoticed, watching this group of grown men leering at my baby sister, whose innocent moves seemed to have them in some kind of trance. Diane loved being the center of attention. It wasn’t until I got much older that I realized Daddy was objectifying my sister without even realizing it, and in actuality, he had created a monster.
As I stood there in the hallway, staring at Diane, who was more concerned about whatever man she had waiting inside than her missing daughter, I cringed.
“Yeah, there is,” I said.
“What?”
“I want to take Ashley with me. Avery’s awake, and you don’t need her for your little prop anymore. Besides, now that Kendra’s not around to babysit, what are you going to do?” I waited for her to think about what I said.
She turned around and opened the door, going back inside without saying goodbye. I walked back to my truck and was about to get in when Ashley came running toward me.
“Aunt Celia, wait!” she yelled.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She walked to the passenger side of the truck and got in. “Mama told me to get the hell out and go with you. And she said you can go see Avery now too.”
Even though my sister was a cold-hearted, evil bitch, she still cared enough to release Ashley to go with me. There was probably some underlying ultimatum in her doing so, but I didn’t care. And now I could finally go see Avery at the hospital. Once we were both buckled in, I hauled ass out of the Crossways, determined never to come back again. I called Bilal and told him what Diane had done and asked if he had heard from Kendra, but he hadn’t. I promised to let him know as soon as I heard anything.
“Aunt Celia, how are we gonna find Kendra?” Ashley said, bringing our pressing issue back to the forefront of my mind.
“I don’t know, baby. We’re gonna need some help,” I told her.
“From who?”
I thought of the only person I knew that could
help me, and I called. After several rings, he finally picked up, and I said, “I need your help. My niece Kendra is missing.”
Diane
I watched Ashley get into Celia’s truck, and they drove away. For a second, I wondered where the hell Kendra could be, and I wondered if she was okay. Then, I told myself I didn’t have time to be distracted by her little disappearing act because her feelings were hurt. I had more important things to deal with. I had let it slip to Ronda what Patrick and I planned to do. She was concerned that even though Patrick seemed to be on the up and up, maybe I should talk to someone who had experience in the drug game that could offer some insight. That person turned out to be her cousin, Junie, who had done time for selling dope and considered himself an expert.
I walked back into Ronda’s back bedroom, where he was lying across the bed, blazing up while he finished giving me a lesson in Street Hustling 101.
“Now, the good thing is you got a lot of free capital to work with. You use that shit to your advantage. So, what exactly are y’all trying to buy?” Junie asked, trying to feel me up when I sat on the bed.
“I don’t really know now. We had a more solid plan when we were gonna deal with his nephew. Now things are a little up in the air. All I know is I ain’t getting ready to be selling drugs outta my house or on no street corner. That’s for damn sure.”
“Well, the return on powder would be high, but so is the risk. Weed has a lower return, but it’s safer. Definitely stay away from heroin. It’s too much fucking work. You gotta cook it and shit.”
“You make a great point.” I nodded.
“I can’t believe y’all was tryna fuck with whack-ass Dell anyway. That dude ain’t got no ten grand worth of product, not even weed. Dell small-time now. He ain’t running these streets like folks think he is.”
“Sounds like you’re hating.” I laughed.
“Nah, just stating facts.” He shrugged and put his hand on my leg.
I pushed it away and said, “Well, we ain’t dealing with him anymore. We ’bout to go meet another dude in a few minutes. Patrick’s on his way to pick me up.”
“Who?” Junie sat up.