by La Jill Hunt
“It’s not. It’s like investing in the stock market and using the money to make more money. Same thing, like one of those 529 college plans. At the end of the day, Avery’s gonna benefit, trust me. She’s gonna have plenty of money. I’ve hired a lawyer to file a lawsuit against the city and the police department. I’m even making sure to avoid them so they can’t get no statements from anyone so I can prove that they’re dragging their feet on solving the case. It’s all good, Darnell. I’ve got it all worked out,” I assured him. “And now, I’ve got the icing for the cake that’s already baking, baby.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ve got you.”
“Yeah, you’re right. You do,” he said and kissed me again.
My phone vibrated and showed that I had a text from Junie, telling me he had everything set up and giving a time and place to meet up.
“Listen, I gotta go,” I said.
“Who’s that?” Darnell asked, trying to look at my phone.
“That is the bat signal. I will call you later.”
“Are you sure about this, Di?” he asked.
“I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life.”
He kissed me one more time before getting out of the car, and I could see him watching as I drove away. I couldn’t believe everything was working out better than I ever imagined. I was about to have it all: the car, the house, the money, and even a man. Then, I remembered that it was my sister’s man. I knew that as happy as I was, she was going to be heartbroken. She loved Darnell; and now, Darnell loved me. As much as I hated Celia, she didn’t deserve this. Or did she? If she really loved him, she would’ve made sure he was happy with her the way he was with me.
My nerves were all over the place, and I suddenly became so nauseous that I had to pull over and throw up. I told myself to calm down before I met up with Junie and the connect, because Darnell or no Darnell, I wasn’t about to fuck this opportunity up.
* * *
The directions Junie gave me were to a house that looked like it should have been condemned. The siding was worn and hanging, and so were the shutters. The lawn, if that’s what you wanted to call the dead grass out front, looked like it hadn’t been watered in years. I considered turning around and leaving; then, someone tapped on my car window, causing me to jump.
“You getting out or what?” Junie seemed to appear out of nowhere.
“Yeah. I was waiting on you. I wasn’t about to go in there by myself,” I yelled through the closed window.
“A’ight, well, I’m here. Let’s do this,” he said.
I reached into the glove compartment of my car and took out a .22 caliber pistol and tucked it into my shirt, then zipped up the oversized jacket I wore. I grabbed the miniature bottle of Grey Goose that was stashed in the car console and drank it, hoping it would help me calm down. Finally, I stepped out of the car.
“You scared the shit out of me,” I told Junie. “Where the fuck did you even come from?”
“I was over there on the other side of the porch, talking to my man. I don’t know why you ain’t see me,” he said.
I looked in the direction he was pointing and didn’t see anyone. Patrick’s voice played in my head, warning that this could be a setup for a robbery, and I became hesitant. “Are you sure about this?”
“Girl, bring your ass—and the cash. I hope you got it,” he said.
“Yeah, I got it.” I nodded, reaching into the back seat and taking out a duffle bag.
“And my fee?” he asked.
“Got that too.” I reached inside the bag and handed him an envelope containing ten hundred-dollar bills.
He grinned as he counted it. “A’ight, let’s go.”
I followed him toward the house. He opened the door without even knocking. Inside, there were several guys sitting on a raggedy sofa, playing video games. A girl was sitting on the other side of the room, painting her fingernails. No one even looked up when we walked in.
“Hey, hold tight for a sec. Lemme go let my man know you’re here.”
“What?” I said, clutching the duffle bag tighter.
“It’s cool. Ain’t nobody finna do nothing to you. Chill,” Junie said and walked out.
When he was gone, the girl stood up. Looking me up and down, she said, “Ain’t you a little old to be fucking wit’ Junie?”
“First of all, I ain’t fucking with him. And it ain’t got nothing to do with his age. I don’t fuck wit’ broke-ass boys. Second, what I ain’t is too old to whoop your ass if you don’t get outta my face,” I said, letting her know that I was not about to be intimidated by her lanky, ugly self.
“Whatever,” she said.
One of the guys on the sofa said, “Fee, sit your skinny ass down before Junie come out here and stomp you. He already told you he was bringing a broad through to talk business.” She backed off.
“A’ight, Di. You can come on back,” Junie called from the hallway.
I walked down the small hallway, and Junie led me into a back room, where an oversized, frog-looking guy wearing sunglasses smiled at me.
“How you doing, sexy lady?”
I stared at him, thinking he looked more like the character on the Sugar Smacks box than a drug dealer. “I’m good.”
“D-Lo, this is my cousin I was telling you about,” Junie told him.
“So, you tryna buy some wholesale product, huh?” D-Lo asked.
“Yeah, you got some you tryna get rid of?”
“Depends on what you tryna get.” D-Lo walked over and took out a key to unlock the closet door. My mouth dropped at the contents. There were shelves that held guns, powder, weed—you name it, he had it. “Now, what you tryna do?”
“Well, before I do anything, we need to discuss a few things,” I told him.
“We can discuss whatever you want as long as you got the cash Junie says you got,” D-Lo said. He gave Junie a slight nod. Junie walked over and closed the door then locked it.
“I got it. But I . . .” I gripped the bag tighter and took a few steps back, trying to figure out how I was going to reach my gun.
“Relax, Di,” Junie said, walking up on me so close that I could feel his breath on my neck.
“Listen, I don’t think this is gonna work,” I said. My heart was racing, and the same nausea I felt earlier was creeping back in. “As a matter of fact, I need to leave, because I’m gonna be sick.”
“Damn, you sexy as fuck.” D-Lo stood up and licked his lips at me. Not only was I about to be robbed, but I was about to be raped as well.
“You ain’t going no-fucking-where.” Junie went to grab me from behind, and I doubled over and vomited on the floor.
“What the fuck?” D-Lo screamed.
I reached under my shirt between heaves and pulled out the gun. Junie was confused by what was going on until I turned around and pointed the gun at him.
“Bitch, are you crazy?” He laughed and went to lunge at me. I pulled the trigger, and the gun went off.
“Oh, shit!” Junie fell to the floor.
I heard a loud crash and screams coming from outside the room. D-Lo ran to the closet and pulled out an assault rifle and snatched the door open. More gunshots rang out, and I began gagging as the room filled with smoke. I was terrorized and in a frenzy, and I couldn’t see anything.
“Metro police department! Everybody put your hands up now!”
Those were the last words I heard before I passed out and fell into the pool of vomit on the floor.
Kendra
“All these people, Kendra. Look!” Avery stared out of the pink Hummer limo that we were riding in. We had just turned onto our street, where we were welcomed by a crowd of people holding signs and clapping. My heart leaped as I saw the reaction in my little sister’s face.
“I know, and they’re all here for you, girl!” I hugged her body against mine.
“Wow,” Ashley said, sitting on the other side of her.
“They’re here to welcome you
home, Avery.” Aunt Celia smiled.
The limo had been a pleasant surprise for all of us when Avery was discharged. We had wheeled her out of the hospital, and the limo was waiting for her, along with a full police escort. People had been so supportive, including the police department, who wasted no time in arresting Terry for a long list of crimes for what he did to my sister.
“I can’t believe this.” Avery smiled and squeezed my hand.
Our motorcade slowed and came to a halt in front of our house. A huge WELCOME HOME sign was hanging across the front, and people were shouting and clapping. I scanned the faces and noticed Sierra standing near the front door, along with Nikki and a few other neighbors.
“You guys ready?” Aunt Celia asked.
“Yes, let’s go!” Ashley nodded.
The driver got out and opened the door for us. I climbed out first, waving at the crowd. Aunt Celia got out next, then Ashley, who took her time and helped Avery ease over to the door.
We all looked over to see Detective Donaldson, or Detective Sean, as we now called him. He walked over to the limo and took Avery into his arms, then carried her all the way to the front of the house, gently placing her down. Aunt Celia gave a brief thank-you speech to the crowd, on behalf of Avery and the family, as people yelled out “We love you, Avery” and “Welcome home, baby girl.” Avery gave one final wave, then Sean picked her up again and carried her inside. Sierra and Nikki followed us into the house.
“Something smells good,” Sierra said.
“We have so much food that people have brought over. Every restaurant in town has delivered something, seems like,” I told her.
“Officer Sean, you can put her down now. She can walk,” Ashley said when they made it into the living room.
“Stop being a hater,” Avery said.
“Stop being lazy,” Ashley fired back.
“Hey, how about both of you ladies chill out?” Aunt Celia told them.
“Well, I guess things are gonna be back to normal sooner than I thought.” I laughed.
Sean put Avery on the sofa, and she looked around the room. Once we’d gotten the word that Avery would be coming home, Ashley and I spent three days cleaning the house from top to bottom. We’d rearranged the furniture and organized all the cards and gifts that had been sent over. The room somehow seemed bigger and brighter.
Nikki went straight into nurse mode and made sure Avery was adjusted on the couch and her arm, still in a cast, was supported properly on the pillows.
“You good?” Sean asked her.
“Yes, thanks.” Avery nodded.
I looked over and noticed her smile fading. Immediately concerned, I asked, “What’s wrong? Is something hurting?”
She shook her head. “No, but I was hoping Mama was gonna be here when I came home.”
Aunt Celia, Sean, Ashley, and I all looked at one another, waiting for someone to speak. Avery knew what had happened to our mom; hell, the entire city did. The drug bust and her arrest had been all over the news. Some of the people crowded out front were probably there just to be nosy and see if my mother was going to be here. But she wasn’t. Diane Hughes was still very much in jail. We hadn’t heard from or spoken to her at all. She’d refused all visitors except for her attorney, who assured us that she was fine. On the one hand, I was hurt; on the other, I was glad. Not having her around made things easier for all of us in some ways. I was able to come back to the house and, for the first time in my life, live in a stress-free environment. I made sure Ashley got back and forth to school, and we both spent a lot of time at the hospital, where the staff was able to help Avery recover a little faster without my mother giving demands and making scenes or threatening everyone with lawsuits. But I could see my younger sister’s disappointment in not having our mother there to welcome her.
“Hey, even though she’s not here, she’s glad you’re home,” I told her.
“That’s right. And if she finds out you were in here pouting, you know she would be giving you something to cry for.” Ashley went and sat beside her.
“I ain’t pouting.” Avery perked up a bit. “I just miss her a little, that’s all.”
“I know you do, and that’s fine. It’s okay to miss her,” I said. “But you have all of these people here that love and support you, so you can continue to get better.”
“And you have all of those gifts over there that people sent that you need to open.” Ashley pointed.
“Those are all for me?” Avery asked, clearly no longer thinking about our mother.
“Yep, they’re all for you.” Aunt Celia walked over and picked up a few of the wrapped boxes and brought them over to Avery. We spent the next hour watching Avery open her gifts, then indulged in the smorgasbord of food in the kitchen.
“I’m sleepy,” Avery announced.
“Come on. We got Mama’s room set up for you to sleep in for now,” Ashley told her.
Avery hesitated. “What? Won’t she be mad?”
“No, she won’t be. I wanted you to be able to have your own bathroom without having to walk down the hall. It’s just for a little while,” I explained.
“You want me to carry you?” Sean offered.
“No, I think I got it. Ashley can help,” Avery told him.
I expected Ashley to protest about Avery volunteering her assistance without asking first, but she didn’t. She helped Avery to her feet and back down the hallway to the room.
“I’ll go help her get settled,” Nikki said. “I wanna make sure she keeps that arm elevated.”
Sean stood and announced, “Well, I guess I’ll get out of here too.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Aunt Celia said.
I gave Sierra a look so she could confirm the vibe between them that I had noticed.
Sierra nodded. “I think you’re right. He’s feeling her.”
“I told you,” I said.
“I think she’s feeling him too, though.”
“Could be,” I said. “I mean, he is fine, and he’s really been there for us and making sure we’re good. You see he ain’t waste no time having that asshole Terry picked up and arraigned.”
“I’m glad he did.”
“Me too. This whole thing has been crazy for all of us.”
“You sure you and your sisters are gonna be okay here? You know y’all are more than welcome to come and stay with me and Gran. She would love to have y’all,” Sierra said.
“We’re fine. And I know she would. I miss her.”
“She misses you too. It’s a pan of mac and cheese and yams in the fridge that she made for y’all, though. A big pan.”
I laughed. “Good looking out, Gran.”
“I’m surprised Bilal isn’t here.” Sierra raised an eyebrow at me.
I glanced down at the floor and said, “I guess.”
“You guess what? You can’t still be mad at him, Kendra. Even your aunt told you he didn’t do what you thought he did.”
“It’s not about that.” I sighed. “And I know he didn’t.”
“Then what the hell?”
“I don’t know. I think I just fell too hard too fast, and right now, I have too much to deal with. My mom is in jail, and now I gotta take care of Ashley and Avery, and I have so much school work to catch up on, and I gotta figure out when I’m coming back to work before Dante fires me.”
“Bullshit,” Sierra snapped.
“What?” I frowned.
“Everything you just said is bullshit. First of all, you know Dante’s ass ain’t firing you. He may talk shit, but you know he loves you, and when you’re ready to come back, your job will be there. Second, you’re smart as hell, and it ain’t gonna take that much time to catch up on that little bit of schoolwork you’re talking about. And you have a support system to help you out with your sisters, including me. Hell, truth be told, you were damn near raising them by yourself before your mom got locked up.” Sierra shook her head at me.
Her words were brutally honest, and I knew t
hey came from a place of love.
“You made up all those excuses because you’re scared,” she said.
She was right. I was beyond scared. I was terrified. My already upside-down world was flipped around even more when my mother told me she’d slept with Bilal. I was crushed, and my heart was broken. I was relieved when Aunt Celia explained how it was all a lie and Bilal had done nothing wrong, but I realized the reason I had been so devastated was because I was in love with him. I also discovered that being in love with him gave him a place of power in my life. I enjoyed the euphoric feeling I had when things were good between us, but I never wanted to feel the pain I felt when things went bad.
“I can’t . . . he just . . . what happens if he hurts me again?” I asked her.
“He hasn’t hurt you, Kendra. Your mother did. She’s always hurt you. Being in pain is your comfort zone. That’s why you want to stay there and not resolve this issue with him. I know you and Bilal weren’t together that long, but he made you happy. And now you’re scared to feel that again, because you don’t know how long or if that feeling is gonna last.”
“You’re right.” I stood up and shrugged. “So why even take a chance right now when I have all of this other stuff going on? I just need to get some of it off my plate, and then I’ll be able to deal with Bilal and all that comes along with him.”
“You sound crazy, and I’m telling you right now, you’re fucking up. You’re an amazing woman, Kendra. Any man would be lucky to have you. You deserve a good man—one that makes you happy—like Bilal. You’re worried about everything you’ve got going on, when there isn’t a perfect time for love. You can’t schedule it. It happens, and when it does, you work hard to keep it. That’s what love is. It’s work, it’s communication, and it’s trust. It takes all of those, even with the right person.”
“She’s right,” Aunt Celia said. Sierra and I both looked up and saw her standing in the doorway of the kitchen.
“I don’t know.” I sighed.
“You can’t push Bilal out of your life, Kendra. Now, if he’d done something wrong, that would be different, but he didn’t. You’re running away from a good man because you’re scared,” Sierra said. “You can have it all, Kendra. You can be a great sister and have a good man. You don’t have to choose.”