“Who the fuck is Jerry then?”
Yeti laughed. “You serious?”
Bo huffed. “What?”
“It’s Jerry. You know, Butch’s cousin?” Yeti shook his head, pushing the whisky bottle back into its place on the shelf. “You’ve hung out with him plenty.”
Bo rubbed at his face, feeling some of the tightknit rage relaxing finally. “Whatever.” He stared at the bar top, trying to focus on anything other than his irritation, something to make the spell break. He couldn’t even figure out who he was pissed at—Dakota, or himself. Maybe both.
Or maybe just himself.
Bo this is the same shit you always do, you gotta fucking stop it already. The heavy spiral was beginning, he could feel it from a mile away, except this time he was standing on the precipice and peering over at the infinite depths of his own dark side. It was too easy to fall into that hole—usually triggered by alcohol or heartbreak—but he’d been doing such a good job at avoiding it in recent years.
But maybe that was only because he’d made relationships a huge no-no. Letting people in—that was a surefire way to unleash the possessive beast. Because what happened when he got too close?
Shit exactly like this.
Bo stormed away from the bar, heading for the hallway. He burst through the doors, making them clang obnoxiously behind him, and went straight to his bedroom. He paced for a little bit, unsure what his next step should be. He desperately wanted to see Dakota, but also he couldn’t let go of the jealous rage, not entirely. It still had a death grip on him, even though he could glimpse rationality from between the claws.
He pushed aside the drapes, staring out the window. It was dusky but clouded, a smoggy orange blaze in the sunset, and one of the last items of the meeting came back to him: send recon about the Demon Seeds spotted in Burning Angels territory.
It shouldn’t be him on the squad, but hell if it wouldn’t be tonight. Secret ops were one way to keep his mind off unsavory shit, and tonight’s mission fit the bill. The brothers might protest if he joined the team, but oh well—in the dark of night, hardly anything mattered.
Bo grabbed for his backpack and took stock in the room for what he might need—two extra handguns, cases of bullets, black face mask, black gloves.
Dakota opened the door while he packed, poking her head in. “Can I come in?”
He sniffed, nodding. She came inside and shut the door quietly behind her. Nobody spoke for a moment.
“You so mad at me that you’re moving out of your own room?” He caught the lightness in her voice but he didn’t react. When another few moments of silence dragged on, she tried again. “What the fuck is your problem?”
Bo set the backpack down, steeling himself to look at her. “Nothing.”
“You came out of your meeting like a half-cocked hellion. I was giving Jerry a tattoo. Nothing fucking wrong was happening. Jesus, if I was going to be in a porno, I’d at least have the decency to not do it in plain sight.”
Her words slashed through him, leaving jagged trails. “Oh, so that is the sort of thing you’re into, then?”
She scoffed. “You’re missing the fucking point.”
“Am I?” He picked the backpack up, zipping it shut. “Seems like a lack of respect, and good sense.”
“No, it actually seems like a completely irrational fit of jealousy.” She put her hands on her hips, mouth thinning to a line. “And I don’t give a fuck how you spin it. What happened out there was not my fault.”
“You don’t need to put yourself on top of every guy you work on,” Bo spat, feeling his own vitriol dissipating into the void. She was right. “You don’t have to fucking mount him to get an angle.”
“I didn’t mount anybody,” Dakota said, “And if you talk to me like this again, I’m fucking out of here. I don’t give a damn how risky it is.”
Bo’s jaw tensed and he slung the backpack over his shoulder, studying the comforter. “Don’t say that.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” She scoffed, tossing her hands in the air. “Like I want to stick around someplace where I get accused of bullshit like this. Bo, I didn’t do anything wrong. This is your issue.”
Bo sighed, the last piece of his resistance unhinging and floating away. “Jesus, Dakota. I know.” He dropped his backpack, the guns inside clattering, and he sank onto the bed. “This is why I don’t do this type of shit.”
Dakota wavered, like maybe she was unsure to believe his about-face. “What type of shit?”
“Fall for women like you.” He rubbed at his face, trying to get a handle on the careening emotions. “This shit always happens.”
She stepped closer. “You mean…”
“The jealousy.” He ran a hand through his hair, afraid to meet her gaze. “I can’t…I don’t know. I feel like I go crazy.”
Dakota sighed, sitting next to him on the bed. “It’s pretty awesome you just said that.”
“What?”
“I mean, I feel like most guys can’t even admit that jealousy is a problem.” She paused, smoothing her hand over his knee. “Like trying to make it all the girl’s fault.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice came out a raw whisper. “I don’t want to drive you away. I don’t want you to go.”
“I won’t. But only if you promise to let me in.”
He smiled wistfully, clasping her hand between his. “That’s the hard shit.”
“I’ll let you in if you let me in.”
Bo dragged his gaze up to meet hers. The swirling, vibrant green of her eyes held him captive. “You go first.”
Dakota hesitated, but opened her mouth to speak. “I’ll tell you the real reason I came to L.A.”
“Tell me.”
“I was escaping a past relationship. I don’t have a stellar history, like it seems you might not either. And my last boyfriend was, well…taken. By someone else. He was actually my college art professor, and we’d been dating in secret for over a year. By the time I graduated and wanted to make things legit, I found out he’d been engaged to a former student practically the entire time.”
Bo blinked a few times, squeezing her hand in his. “He was your college professor?”
“Yeah. Was one of my most influential professors too. I guess eventually my adoration for his knowledge and skill eventually morphed into lust and…whatever. It kind of blinded me.” She pinched her eyes shut for a second. “I don’t ever want to be blinded again, Bo. I won’t be. No man is worth that, especially when it ends up in heart break.”
Bo gritted his teeth, wishing he could snag that professor by the collar and put his head into the wall. “I know it, darlin’. You deserve a million times better than that loser.”
“If anything, he showed me that I don’t want to live in someone else’s shadow…or under some guy’s fucking delusions.” She tutted, shaking her head. “I mean, what a dumbass, to think that the situation could have ever ended well? That he could’ve had it all?”
Bo brought her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there.
Dakota relaxed a little—maybe his kisses had that effect. She nudged him. “Now you.”
Bo studied the ground, trying to find the best way to say it. He didn’t like diving into this territory. It hurt too damn much. “I don’t like to get close to people.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ll get hurt.”
Dakota softened, running her thumb over his knuckles. “How do you know?”
“Because that’s all that’s ever happened. I know we come from different worlds and all, so maybe that means I can learn something from you. But any other girl I’ve let in, she’s slashed my heart. And everyone else has their own way of hurting too. My little brother is disabled for the rest of his life because of me, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him and feel guilty.”
Dakota’s hand stroked his back, a pleasing rhythm. “What happened to him?”
“He was trying to stop a robber at a gas statio
n. He was mimicking the type of shit I’d tell him about here with the club. Standing up for your brothers, doing the best good possible, all that shit. But the guy clipped him in the spine with his gun, knocked out some nerves that handle walking and all that shit. He’s in a wheelchair.”
Dakota covered her mouth. “You couldn’t have controlled that.”
“He hasn’t spoken to me in five years.” Bo rubbed at his face, trying to wipe away from of the residual hurt that pooled like rainwater after a storm. “And I hate how much that hurts.”
“He’s your brother. Of course it hurts.”
“So why should I let more people have that power?” He grabbed for her hand again, needing to feel her warmth, her silky grip. “It ends bad.”
“Are you telling me you don’t want to let me in that far?” She nuzzled the side of his neck. “Because I want to go as deep with you as possible. Even though it makes so little sense.” She chuckled softly, biting at his earlobe, sending a thrill of desire through him.
“Darlin’, what I want with you doesn’t make any damn sense either.” He turned to her, scooping her into his arms, pulling her onto his lap. “But you’re the only one I want to try with. Even though it might hurt.”
She nibbled on his other earlobe, arms linked around his neck. “That’s how I feel too.”
He grinned, cinching her closer. “Sounds like we’re on the same page then.”
“But you can’t act like a raging jealous freak,” she warned, pulling back a little to give him a stern look. “That shit’s not okay.”
Bo rested his forehead against hers. “All I can do is try to do better.”
She kissed the tip of his nose. “Good. I think that’ll be just fine then.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Bo flipped her over onto her back, pushing her back onto the bed. Dakota threw her arms over her head, grinning up at him as he straddled her on the bed, his knees pressing into the mattress on either side of her.
“Can we have make-up sex now?” His tone was joking but his eyes were tender, like the emotional spill-over from before had softened him all over, made him porous and vulnerable.
“We fucking better.” She hooked her arms around his neck, letting her legs fall open as he eased himself down. He winced a little, which she knew had to be a strain on the still-healing wound. He buried his face in her breasts, dragging his tongue up the exposed valley of her cleavage.
When his lips met hers a desperate kiss emerged, one that made her heart clench. They kissed until no air remained in her lungs, and she pulled away from him, drawing shaky breaths.
“Fuck.” He pushed back onto his heels, tugging his t-shirt over his head. “You keep kissing me like that and I’ll never be able to let you go.”
She smirked, smoothing her hands over the newly exposed hard planes of his chest. “Is that a promise or a threat?”
“A promise, darlin’.” He unbuckled his belt, then stepped off the bed to push his pants off. He stood before her fully naked, his gaze skimming her like he was looking at a work of art.
Bo slid his hands up the sides of her legs, up to the button of her jeans. He popped it and then slid her pants down slowly, kissing the skin that was revealed, down her thighs, over her kneecaps and shins, all the way to the tops of her feet. He tossed the jeans and panties aside, easing back on top of her. She tugged her shirt off while he kissed around her mons, dragging his tongue up to her belly button, making a teasingly complex trail.
“Come on, Bo.” She wiggled beneath him, need making a dense coil inside. She might burst if she didn’t get it, which was a little frightening since she’d been getting it on the regular from him, which only made her need it more, not less.
His kisses skipped up to her breasts, taking each rosy nipple between his lips in turn. “Impatient.”
“I know what I want.” She pressed her hands to his low back, their bodies forming a hot seal. “And it’s you.”
He leaned onto one side so he could take her chin between his thumb and forefinger, a heartbreakingly boyish smile on his face. “Is that so?”
She nodded, loving the connection that zipped between them when they were on like this. “Mm-hmm. A million percent.”
He dropped his lips to hers and they kissed softly, his tongue pressing in hot and slow, their kisses so deep it almost made her cry. When they broke for air, she had tears in her eyes, but hell if she knew why. Bo must have noticed because he kissed her eyelids, feather light.
“I’m not gonna hurt you like he did,” Bo whispered, kisses skipping down the ridge of her nose.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Yeah, but I could feel it.”
Dakota smirked, locking her ankles behind him. “Then we have a problem, because this just went from level three to level ten.”
“I like level ten,” Bo murmured, wiggling his hips into place. His cock slid into the slick groove of her pussy and she gasped at its heat. He always felt so good, in a way that no other boyfriend or temporary lover ever had. There were a slew of things about this guy that just didn’t make sense on the surface…but once she stopped trying to rationalize it all, there was nothing that made more sense.
“Yeah, me too.” Her breath hitched as he moved against her, his cockhead seeking her opening. It pushed at her entrance and she arched slightly, to welcome him in. “We’re pretty good at going deep right away.”
His soft chuckle at her ear made goosebumps ignite all over her body. “And I go deep.”
Bo pushed himself inside her, deliciously slow, a groan escaping him as he went deeper. She dug her fingernails into his low back as her pussy stretched to take him, all of him, as deep as he could go. Once he’d buried himself, she let out a whimper as stars flitted behind her eyelids, the dull roar of pleasure filling her ears. Bo began a slow rhythm, one that made tears prick her eyes immediately, like they weren’t just fucking but he was also giving something away, something tucked deep inside him. His eyes locked onto hers like he worried she might blink out of existence otherwise.
“Bo.” Her voice came out breathy. She knotted her fingers into his hair, mesmerized by the swirl of emotions in his eyes. “Don’t stop.”
“I won’t, darlin’.” He brushed his lips against hers, thrusting into her. “I won’t ever.”
She grinned lazily, loving the fullness, the heat, the sense of security with Bo wrapped around her, taking her slow and sweet like this. “Is that a promise or a threat?”
He laughed a little, grunting as he thrusted. “A promise. Always a promise.”
Bo wrapped an arm around her, mashing her breasts into his chest as he thrust again and again. Dakota locked her ankles behind his back, gasping with each deep, meaningful thrust, until finally the dam spilled over and rivulets of pleasure began trickling through her.
She clutched at his shoulders, digging her fingernails into the muscly terrain. “Bo, I’m close.”
He groaned and thrust harder, faster, their groins colliding hot and hard. The extra friction pushed her over the edge and she stilled, thighs tensing, mouth caught open like she might scream but no sound came out. Bo buried his face in her neck as the tidal wave built and then burst, warmth prickling through her limbs over and over again, coating her entire body in bliss.
Bo’s movements got quicker until he finally stilled against her, groaning into her shoulders, abs flinching as he came.
After the bliss subsided, they lay there for a while, saying nothing.
Dakota stroked the nape of his neck, eyes drifting shut, feeling a lot like she’d found a place that felt right in the world.
Bo pushed off of her later, but it startled her awake. Maybe they’d been there for hours like that, even though the idea of him sleeping on top of her like dead weight didn’t seem possible. The man was a hunk of muscle, surely it hadn’t been that long.
Bo reached for his phone on the bedside stand and swore. “I’m late.”
Dakota rolled onto her side, cu
rling up into a ball as she watched him get ready. “Late for what?”
“There’s a mission.” Bo didn’t look at her while he hunted for his clothes. “A little thing we gotta do tonight.”
Dakota pushed up onto an arm, arching a brow. “What?”
He looked over at her, seeming confused by her confusion. “What?”
“You’re not supposed to leave. You’ve been saying this since we’ve gotten here.”
“I know, but things change.” Bo tugged a plain white t-shirt over his head, followed by a black zip-up jacket. From the looks of it, he was going into full robber mode. “It’s part of what we went over today in the meeting. I gotta do some surveillance...there’s been a breach.”
Wild & Free: A Motorcycle Club Romance (Burning Angels MC) (No Saints in Biker Hell Book 1) Page 10