by ChaShiree M
I know she is right and has a point, because I am the worst offender here. But, I always felt his family would pick up the slack in abundance. That is how I rationalized not being here to help him, besides my own selfish reasons. I know one thing, never again.
“Forget it Ava. It doesn’t matter. Just know I am here and he has all the help he needs right now. I am disappointed in all of us. Myself included. Kiss the kids for me. Bye.” And with that I disconnect the call.
It turns out I finished just in time. After I hung up and started putting away the supplies, Selena and Max woke up. I went into their room and stood there for a moment. My mind kept drifting to the fact that in a few months, I will be me coming into a room for my own baby. Hopefully with a father in tow.
Leaning over I take the cuties one at a time, change their diapers, and move them downstairs to the living room in their bouncy chairs. After making their formula and giving each a bottle, I turn on the vibrating chair, and go to the kitchen to see what there is for food.
Before I can start cooking, I hear Dale fussing upstairs and I do not want him to wake Jace. Heading up to the room, I grab him and do the same steps I did with the other two. Taking him downstairs with me, I suddenly remember reading about tummy time in one of my early childhood classes. I search for a blanket and toys to make a makeshift toy area for them. Laying each one down on their tummies, I wait a moment to see how they react. To my surprise and utter elation, they appear to like it. Even Dale.
I pick up the phone and call Ham.
“Penny. Hi. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Ham, I need you to bring over two more pack-n-plays to Max and Rosy’s.”
‘Max and Rosy’s? Are you here? Wow. It’s about time. Jace must be over the moon.” He must not have spoken to Ava yet.
Grumbling a bit under my breath, I say “I wouldn’t know about that. But can you do it?”
“Of course. Be there in a few.”
When he finally showed up and asked where Jace was, I told him and made him feel bad about their lack of support. Once he left, I grabbed the little ones, changed them, and put each one in their pack-n-play. To my surprise, they all fell asleep, including Dale.
Over the next two days, I take care of the little cuties as Jace sleeps. A few times I check on him, because he has a fever. It felt like his body was fighting it and I did not want to wake him. On day three, he rose.
When he came down the stairs clad only in his pajama bottoms, my mouth literally started watering. This man is a GOD. His physique is all muscle and leanness. I can see the definition of his pecs leading down to the six pack he is sporting, which in turn is leading down to the delectable ‘V’. I can picture myself licking every inch of his body as I ride him, racing towards my ecstasy. His hands are all over me, exploring every inch…. “Penelope?”
“DAMN IT, Jace, you scared the shit out of me.” I say, because it is literally the only thing I can think of to cover the blush I feel spreading over my face. Hopefully it is not so evident.
“Sorry. How did you perform this miracle?” He asks gesturing to the pack-n-plays.
“You have been asleep for almost two whole days. I was starting to worry. There was only one pack-n-play, so I called Ham and had him bring me two more.” I am freaked out about being caught fantasizing about him, that I am rambling on and on.
When he finally mentions the food, I am happy to have something to focus on. I make him a plate and watch him eat, while feeling a sense of pride I could cook for my man. The feeling is short lived, when he relegates my visit to a one off and tries to get me to leave. It takes great fortification to hide the hurt I am feeling in that moment, because I know I deserve it and he needs to get his hurt out. I kindly inform him, I am staying right here and suggest we work on a schedule. He agrees reluctantly, and I exhale. Somewhat.
I know we have a long way to go especially since he insists on calling me Penelope. I think that hurts more than his attitude. He has never called me by my full name. Not even the first time we met, and he called me Penny. I know everyone else does too, but when he does all I hear is the endearment, the love, and let’s be honest, lust and possession in his voice. That is a part of what scared the hell out of me. To be Penelope, to him is painful.
But I intend to change that. I have too. Our future is at stake.
After a week and a half of our new routine, I can see how my calling her Penelope has affected her. Her perky smile doesn’t fool me though. Her beautiful, expressive eyes give her away. I know it is because I have hurt her and for that reason my anger is dwindling each day.
Being near her is fucking with me. Her jasmine scent is in every room of Max and Rosy’s house and there is no way I can escape it. When she sleeps during the day it gives me the opportunity to get stuff done outside the house. Today, my mom has the babies while I run errands.
I am currently at Queens Heart Ink because I have decided to get a new tattoo. This one will be completely dedicated to Penny. My fucking Penny. It’s time to get my head out of my ass and claim her. She may have left, but she still came back. Back to me.
“You ready Jace?” Miles asks me.
“Yeah, man.” I say, getting up and following him back to his station.
“How have you been, man?” He asks as I take my shirt off.
“Pretty good.” I say, even though I have been anything but.
“How’s the babies? Rosy?” He questions.
“Rosy is doing better and she will be home soon. The babies are growing into eating machines.” I say chuckling.
“I hear they do that.” He says laughing. “She knows you are getting this done?”
I dropped off the design yesterday. It’s only her name, Penny with a heart around it. Roses, her favorite flower are growing out of the heart. I am having it placed over the center of my heart.
“Nope. I like the idea of surprising her with it.” I have a little devilish smile on my face with this comment.
“You are a brave man. It takes balls to get a girl’s name tattooed on you. That shit is forever.” I think this is the most I have ever heard him talk.
“That is true, but sometimes logic and feelings outweigh each other and nothing else matters. I’ve loved her sassy ass from the minute I saw her, and I bided my time. I am now done with all that shit.”
He nods and begins to work. It only takes about ninety minutes to get the ink done and Miles does not talk at all during the session. I use the time to think about Penny. She is the greatest gift to ever happen to me, and I got to prove it to her. I know she thinks I don’t know anything about her, but I do.
She does not only want to be someone’s wife, even if that someone is me. The reason I know is because I overheard her talking to Ava seven months ago. She knew then that this was inevitable, but she was still seventeen and out of reach.
When he is done wrapping it up, I throw my shirt back on and pay the agreed price. It looks amazing and I hope Penny will love it.
“You should come to the BBQ we are having next weekend for Rosy’s homecoming. It should be a blast. Bring whoever.” I say as I am leaving.
“That sounds good man. See you then.”
After the tattoo shop, I head to the big box store in St. Paul. We need diapers and formula. With three babies the best way is to buy in bulk. While I am there, I pick up a few other things we need. As I am almost done, I see a giant container of Twizzlers. It is my girl’s favorite candy, so I pick that up as well.
When I get back to Max’s, I see Ava’s and Kennedy are there as well. I head in and put the groceries away. The girls are chatting about baby stuff, while there is literally a minefield on tummy timing babies in the living room. As soon as I get near Dale, he seems to know I am close and I bend down to pick him up.
I wince when I accidentally put him on the tattoo side and quickly adjust him. I hear Penny sigh and when I look up our eyes connect. That same spark flows through the room, like there is static electricity everyw
here. Unfortunately, now is not the time or place.
“Hey ladies. How was your day?” I ask going into the kitchen. I see all the fixings for BLTs are out.
As I am putting the groceries away, I notice her eyes linger on Twizzlers. I could swear there are tears in eyes, but who gets emotional about candy?
“Fantastic.” Kennedy says.
“Pretty good.” Ava says at the same time.
“It was okay?” Penny says. Stopping for a moment, I take a minute to really look at her. She is pale, and her eyes are red.
“Penny? Are you okay? You don’t look so good.” Her eyes close when I say ‘Penny’, but they pop back open for the last part.
‘I mean, you are always beautiful, but you look like you don’t feel well.” I correct as I feel her forehead. “Seems normal. Why don’t you let me take the night shift tonight and you get some rest?” Her name feels good rolling off my tongue again.
“That sounds good. Have you eaten? I can make you a sandwich.” She says.
“I’ll take care of it, Penny. You just visit with the girls.” I say as I start making a sandwich and finish putting away all the stuff.
Later that night, after the girls had gone home and the babies were asleep, I started cleaning. When I could not sleep as a teenager, my mom taught me a productive way to get sleepy. I cleaned the bathrooms and then started on sorting the laundry. You would be amazed at how much laundry we do in a day. There are at least five loads a day to keep them in clean onesies.
I find quite a bit of money in our pockets tonight, because I always check the pockets. I washed a movie ticket stub once and had to throw the entire load out. Sweatpants and little balls of paper don’t mix.
When I get to a pair of Penny’s jeans, I notice a huge piece of paper folded into a square and tucked into the back pocket. It looks like it might be a flyer that would be on your windshield in parking lot, so I didn’t think anything of opening it. Instead of a flyer, it was two different drug safety info packets from the pharmacy. One for prenatal vitamins. The other for an anti-nausea medicine.
I toss it to the side before it registered what I read. It was filled just yesterday. My girl is fucking pregnant and she hasn’t told me? What. The. Fuck? Just when I think I can forgive her and move on, there is something else thrown in our path. She fucking kept this shit from me. Pissed is beyond what I am feeling. Deep down, I have no doubt she thinks she has a good reason, but right now…I have no fucks to give.
Grabbing the papers from where I tossed them, I head to her room. I know I should wait until she is awake, but I need the words from her now. All the words. Since her door is open, I walk in and over to the bed. She has kicked the covers off and I notice she has on my Viking’s jersey, that no longer fits. I have no clue where it was and I don’t know where she found the damn thing. It’s so short on her and I can see her pretty pink pussy peeking out. I stifle a groan and clench my fist to keep from reaching for her.
“Penelope Jane Kimber. Wake up right the fuck now!” There is no way I can help the anger radiating from my voice and suddenly I am pissed again.
“Jace? What’s wrong, baby?”
“You tell me.”
I was literally having the best dream ever. Of course, it involved me and Jace, we were naked and doing the horizontal mambo. Then, very rudely and abruptly, I am torn from said dream and woken by a very angry Jace. Confused and worried, I initially think something is wrong with one of the babies.
“Jace? What’s wrong, baby?”
“You tell me.”
His reply, though ominous alerts me to the fact it is something else entirely. I sit up and look him over to make sure he is ok. When I do not see any visible signs of injury or sickness, I look up at his face with genuine confusion and I ask him.
“I don’t know Jace. You obviously have me at a disadvantage, so why don’t you tell me what it is I did this time.” I’m not sure where the anger is coming from, but I suddenly feel upset, frustrated, and tired. I thought we had been making progress lately. Now it seems all that has been happening is I have fallen deeper, and it seems to have been in vain. So, yea. I am pissed. I almost give him a piece of my mind and then I glimpse the papers he is holding in his hand. Immediately, I know what it is, and the fear grabs ahold of me. Not fear of Jace. I know he would never hurt me. But fear that maybe this will be the last straw.
“Jace. Let me explain. It’s not what you think. I was going to……”
“Shut the hell up. I cannot even deal with you right now. I mean, seriously Penelope? You have been here for almost two weeks and you didn’t think to tell me your carrying my baby. I thought we were making progress towards making things right, and now I find out you have been essentially lying to me. What? You still trying to decide if you are keeping my kid? Or have you decided to keep me out of the kid’s life? I can’t fucking believe you.”
“Jace please…. of course, I was going to tell you. I just…….”
“Save it. I can’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth. You know what, I am so pissed I could fucking spit nails. Maybe you should go Penelope. I just…I can’t.”
Oh no he is not kicking me out of a house that is not his. I understand he is upset and I know I was wrong. It does not matter how well intentioned my reasons are, but I will not let him brush me off and act like I am nothing to him. Like, we are nothing to each other. I know I walked away, but I am here to try and fix us. I get up out the bed, and face off with my stubborn, beautiful man hoping that at the end of it, we can salvage our destiny.
“Enough with the goddamn ‘Penelope’, Jason Henry Crawford. I have dealt with your attitude, cold shoulder, and the full name treatment, because I know I deserve it. And even now with this news, I know you have every right to be upset. But did it occur to you, you big…. big JERK, that I could be waiting because I did not want to overwhelm you with everything you had going on.” I say, as I first point my finger at his chest and then my hands start flying around in wave movements.
“If I didn’t plan on telling you and raising this baby with you, why would I have come back? I could have stayed at school, finished my goals, and you would have been none the wiser. Until, I decided to tell you. But I didn’t. Now we are going to talk about this like mature adults and you are going to stop being such a big baby.” Geesh. Men.
I look over at him and see his breathing is heavy, also I see the tic in his jaw flexing consistently. I start thinking I have gone too far, when he starts stalking towards me.
“Did you just call me a baby? A baby. Really! Babe, you and I both know, I am all man. Or did you forget…. Penny? Huh. Did you forget how full you were when I was buried deep inside you, while I was taking that sweet cherry from you and making you my woman. Giving you my son? Did you forget how much you begged me to fuck you harder. Should I remind you baby? Is that what you have been missing? Fuck. I think, no I know that’s what I need. To bury myself in all your tight heat and make you remember. What do you think baby?” He taunts as much as he demands an answer from me.
Shit. I am so glad I am not wearing any panties right now because they would be no good. He has the dirtiest mouth I have ever heard. And no lie, it makes me want him even more. I can feel the sweat forming on my upper lip as I try to find the words to tell him this is not a good idea. But he continues to stalk towards me, until I am finally backed up to the bed.
Standing close enough to bend down and kiss me, he runs his hands up my waist as he lets his fingers slowly trace over my stomach, my sternum, and the side of my breast. The moan is out of my mouth before I can do or say anything. He raises the jersey I am wearing over my head. I am so far gone, I didn’t know he had grabbed the shirt and I am wearing nothing under the shirt. There is nothing blocking me from him right now and I feel equally happy and unsure about that.
Not breaking a sweat, he looks at me and lowers his head. He swipes his fingers across my already sensitive nipples, repeatedly. He leans down to my ear and says,
“You remember yet?”
Oh God. I lick my lips without thinking and it’s like a switch is flicked in him. He slams his mouth on mine and begins to ravish me. I should insist we stop and talk, but I have missed him, and I wrap my hands around his neck to fold myself into him.
One of his hands is at the back of my head and is maneuvering it to where he wants it. The other one is around my back, where he is lining my wet, hot pussy with his massive cock. Immediately, I am up in flames and try to climb his body to fit us together, even with his bottoms on. I need to feel the completion that only he can give me.
As frantic as I am, he appears to be more so. Faster than I can comprehend, he flips me to be against the wall. I am desperate at this point to feel his skin against mine. Taking ahold of the sides of his shirt, I rip it off. Not giving me a chance to explore his body the way I want; he flips me around placing my front to the wall and that is when I know. This will not be a joining of love. Instead, it is angry sex and it is going to be hot as fuck.
“Fuck Penny. I may be, fucking mad at you, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting you like a fiend. I cannot give you the lovey-dovey shit, right now. I am too pissed. It means, you are going to have to take this. Ok baby? Can you be my good girl and just take what I give you?”
Without hesitation, I say “yes.” It is better than nothing and somehow, I know at the other end there is forgiveness and a future.
“Yes. Jace. Please. I need you to fill me. Fuck me. Remind me.”
“Fuck. Penny you must stop talking like that before I lose control. I am barely holding on as it is.” I hear as he pulls his belt buckle apart.