by Rachel West
My throat constricts around itself as I recognize her. That night, weeks back when I barely knew Jaxon. She was the woman in charge of the small squad of Praetors. The five that killed Limping Liddy in cold blood while I stood by and did nothing as it happened.
Jaxon must have seen something of what I was thinking cross my face. He leans in and whispers in my ear. “That’s Captain Vex. She’s head of the Praetor Investigative Branch -- The PIB.”
My blood goes cold as I stare into her heartless eyes. This woman-- This is the woman who orders raids in the Westwick Slums. The woman who arrests children when they do nothing but bring home a harmless puppy.
She’s standing on a raised dais in a courtyard. A location I recognize instantly. The giant square is in the center of all Haven. It’s where Jaxon’s father makes his speeches. It’s where traitors and criminals are executed. The Great Uniter mandated that every execution be made public, to deter others from making the same mistakes. When one is broadcast, every screen in all of Haven flips its channels to watch.
I’ve only been there once. When I was younger, I felt the press of curiosity and had to see it for myself. In the past I’d only ever seen it on the TV screens that spew their propaganda throughout the city.
The square feels miles wide; although I know it can’t be nearly that large. It is surrounded on all sides by giant towering buildings whose own edges are covered by plasma screens hundreds of feet tall. Banners hang from every corner - Purple and black and branded with the twisted design that matches the one tattooed on Jaxon’s face. The mark of the Prayer family.
The square, despite its beauty and marvels was one of the most sickening places I have ever been. You can feel the pain, the death, the torment that has occurred there. It’s sunken into the stones and blistered onto buildings. Invisible, but impossible to ignore.
When I see Captain Vex standing in the center of it, I can’t help but feel she belongs. Of course this woman who causes nothing but pain would look at home while surrounded by it.
As we inch closer to the screen I begin to make out what Vex says. Her tone is authoritative and designed to carry. Even here, deep underground in the Hollows, it’s like her words are for me alone.
“...until Jaxon Prayer turns himself in for his treacherous acts and rebellion against the codes and laws of our great city of Haven. We are offering a reward of five thousand gold chips to anyone who can lead us to his location.”
The camera pans out and turns to the raised balcony where the Prayer family sits. Jaxon’s father solemnly speaks to the camera. “My son. Your acts are unforgivable. You have turned on your own family. You have betrayed the people who raised you and loved you. Your inability to see the difference between right and wrong shames me as your father. From this moment on you are no longer my son. You are stripped of all the benefits and wealth that come with your name. You are banned from setting foot on Crescent City until you atone for your crimes.” The speech has the sound of something well-rehearsed, but the impact is enough for Jaxon. I feel him tense next to me; hear the sound of a sharply drawn breath.
The camera turns back to Captain Vex. “Do you see Jaxon Prayer, the pain that you have caused your family? Turn yourself in now and we will be lenient. Is it worth it? Giving up your family for this,” she raises both her arms up and in a flash the images on the screen change. I see the same moments Vertigo showed us before - Jaxon and I climbing the tree to flee the Praetors. The private look shared between us now shown to the entire world. The camera turns back to Vex “Everything you are -- given up for a girl. A child,” she shows her disgust clearly. In her hands is a piece of paper, she unfolds it and reads the words aloud. “Evelyn Reinhardt.”
Nausea turns in the pit of my stomach and fights its way up my throat. I swallow hard and end up choking. My coughing causes those around us to look in my direction. Jaxon and Red step in closer, protecting me from probing eyes. What would this crowd do if they knew I hid amongst them? That the tall hooded stranger next to them was in fact Jaxon Prayer.
All I can do is rest, bent nearly in half with my hands resting on my knees and my head hanging low. The shaking starts slowly, but soon my whole body is shuddering like I’m in the throes of fever. The sounds around me fade out as I clench the cloth of my pants in my hands, trying to steady myself.
The Praetors, the people I fear most in my life, the people I have spent nearly my entire life avoiding the sight of, know who I am. They know what I look like. They know my name.
The worst part is, there is no one to blame but myself. Had I never allowed Jaxon into my life, had I never rescued my sister, I would be lost in obscurity. I would be no one. But I can’t regret any of it.
Meeting Jaxon? Inviting him into my home was the most defining moment in my life. It showed me what kind of person I was. What kind of person I could be. Despite his arrogance, despite how irritating and unrealistic his world view can be, Jaxon matters to me. He’s pushing, always pushing at me, showing me that I can be better. That I can be more. That the life I’ve resigned myself to doesn’t have to be mine.
I steel myself and lift my head. I will not let this woman, Captain Vex, bring me to my knees. I am more than that.
“Are you alright?” Jaxon asks.
“Yeah,” I nod firmly.
Captain Vex is still speaking on the screen. I turn my attention back to her. “Jaxon Prayer,” she says, “you have abandoned your family and your people. You have broken free a condemned criminal. You have disappeared into the city that should be yours yet now you hide in. To motivate these allies of yours we will execute one each day until you turn yourself in. If that is not motivation enough for you, we are quite certain turning you in will appeal to someone’s best interests.”
Full of shock, I whisper to Jaxon, “She can’t be serious.”
Jaxon draws his lips into a tight line as he glances sidelong at me before flicking his eyes back to the screen. A man is paraded across the stage led by two Praetors towards Captain Vex. The man’s hands are tied tightly behind his back. The left side of his face is practically unrecognizable as human. Broken skin and bruised flesh.
One of the Praetors shoves the prisoner roughly forward and his face is brought into focus. I recognize him immediately. My neighbor, Bernard. The man who’d lived with his wife in the apartment beneath mine for as long as I’ve lived there. Once, years ago, I was burning up with fever and unable to make it up my fire escape. He’d brought me into his living room and laid me out on his couch. His wife took care of me while he set out after curfew to find Red for me. He risked his life for me.
Now he will lose his life because of me.
The two Praetor guards force him to kneel. There is a sharp crack as his knees hit the ground, a sound like breaking bones and the clash of thunder that pierces straight through my heart. Jaxon entwines his fingers with mine and his hands tremble with the same rage I feel down through the deepest parts of me.
Another familiar figure approaches the dais. The Executioner. He wears a tight mask of black cloth that covers his face so fully that all that’s left is the shape of it. No one knows who he truly is but he’s brutally ended hundreds of lives over the years.
The camera spins slowly around the scene, showing Bernard on his knees from every angle. A lifetime passes before the camera comes to a rest on his face. I stare desperately into his eyes. Wishing there was some way for him to know that I am watching. That I would do anything to stop this. That I am so so sorry.
The camera pulls back a little, so I can see the executioner standing above Bernard. But it’s all secondary. I don’t look as the executioner pulls out his synthblade. The quick flash of light as he powers it on. All I can do is stare into Bernard’s face.
I wonder if his wife is watching.
When the blade falls and Bernard’s head is separated from his body one last expression flashes across his face.
Relief.
I close my eyes and see the same expression play o
ut over and over. Guilt and anger build in my chest until I feel like my heart is going to explode. Around me the Hollows is silent. Red watches me with a look of horror on his face. He recognized Bernard. I look back at him, not sure how to react. Part of me wants to cry. The guilt makes me want to throw myself into danger, to have myself arrested by the Praetors because it’s what I deserve. The rest of me wants to rampage. To fight and fight until there is not a single Praetor left. All of it leaves me weary. I am tired; tired of this life, tired of the Praetors, tired of feeling like every step I take is the wrong one.
“Excuse me,” I whisper, the words coming out strangled and on the verge of tears.
I bolt from the room, uncaring of those I push out of my way. I hear running footsteps behind me. Red and Jaxon chase me. But I’ve spent my entire life running and I quickly outpace them as I lose myself in the twisting corridors of the Hollows.
I come across the oldest parts of the Hollows. The places left dark and cold, untouched by Vertigo’s renovations. In my heart I know that I will never truly escape this place, because when I come to my senses I am standing in front of the old, carved out den that used to be my home.
Looking at it now it’s hard to imagine I ever lived within. Old, crumpled papers litter the inside. The ragged blanket I used as my only source of warmth is still balled up in one end, forgotten and abandoned just like I was. I crawl inside and a musty, reptilian scent fills my nostrils. The blanket causes my skin to itch.
I don’t belong here. The frightful, lonely girl who lived in this hole doesn’t exist anymore. I press my eyes shut and a tear leaks out. I don’t belong here, but I’m not sure where I do belong.
Or if I belong anywhere at all.
CHAPTER 8
“Hello?”
I blink slowly as I awake from a deep sleep. Where am I? My hip aches for reasons I can’t remember and when I inhale my nose is thick and full of cotton. I rub at my eyes, ignoring the twinge in my ribs that the motion causes.
“Are you okay?”
“What?” I mumble
“Are you okay?”
My old burrow--my old home. That’s where I am. I sit up and rub at the painful spot on my side. The roof of the den tugs against my hair. “Who are you?” I call out. A shadow falls over me as someone blocks the light at the entrance. Unconsciously I reach for where I usually keep my weapon. Adrenaline rushed through me when I realize I’ve left it in Jaxon’s room. Stupid. Even though the Hollows is a different place than it used to be, doesn’t mean it’s safe.
“I’m Kalia. Are you okay in there? You were screaming.”
“I was?” I try to remember my dreams -- nightmares apparently -- but all I have is a dim memory of shadows hanging on a white background.
“Yeah, like. I thought you were being murdered. What are you doing in here? You know there are better places you can sleep. Are you new?”
“No. Yeah. Hold on,” I say. It’s too awkward to be yelling out like this. I crawl the short distance to the entrance of the tiny cave.
“Hi.” Kalia says when I pop my head out.
“Hey,” I echo. I’m not quite sure what to make of her. She looks to be about my age. Twisted brown curls stick out from her head at every angle. She’s thin, with a face that is almost too sharp. Pretty though, in a feral kind of way.
“So what were you doing in there? If you want I can show you better places to sleep. You don’t gotta stay in a dump like this,” she gestures to my old home.
I turn away, ignoring her comment. This place may be a dump, but it was my home for two years.
“Wait.” Kalia takes three large steps back and places her hands on her hip. Leaning forward like she’s looking over the edge of a cliff she peers at me. “You’re that girl. Evelyn Reinhardt.”
I run my fingers nervously through my hair. “Evie,” I say. I glance down each side of the hallway. Will I be able to take this girl? Without a weapon. I can be scrappy, but so is anyone who’s spent any time in the Hollows. My fingers twitch, reaching for the synthblade that isn’t there.
Kalia narrows her eyes. “What’s the password?”
“Password?” I squint in confusion. Then I remember, Cull, the gate-guard asked for a password too. Vertigo gave it to us but I can’t-- “Reagent!” I announce a little too loudly, proud at having remembered.
Kalia smiles, a large toothy grin that I can’t help but return. “So Vertigo knows you’re here, huh? Whatcha doing? Hiding out from the Praetors? Did you really leave the city? I can’t believe it. You must be the only person in the history of the Hollows to ever make it outside the city. Were you scared? Did you see any automatons?”
I hold up a hand, begging her to slow down. “I’m sorry,” I say, “But I have to go.”
“Wait. No!” She cries out as I turn to leave. “Where are you staying?”
I hesitate for a moment. It’s better not to tell her. Jaxon, Red, all of us really, we need to stay hidden. But I look at Kalia and she’s smiling brightly at me. There’s something charming in her enthusiasm. Like she wants to be friends. I scuff my toe against the stone ground. It can’t hurt, right?
I look up, ready to tell her, but she cuts me off with a raised hand. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. Maybe I’ll come find you. More fun that way,” she gives an exaggerated wink.
Kalia is watching me intently and I feel a blush rise. What did she want from me? Friendship, I’d guess from the giant grin she wore - but why me? Especially considering I’ve spent the last five minutes stammering like an idiot and staring at the ground.
“Okay,” I say.
“Cool,” she bounces up on her feet in a way that looks familiar but I can’t place.
“Alright,” I say slowly, “Bye.” I turn to leave. I can’t help but glance over my shoulder when I reach the end of the hallway. Kalia is standing where I left her, rocking back and forth on her toes. She sees me looking and waves goodbye in a slow, overstated motion. I speed up, hurrying around the corner and out of sight.
Getting back to the rooms I share with the others takes longer than normal. I make an effort to keep to back hallways and less crowded tunnels. I’ve already been recognized by one person, if more people find out we are here? It would mean my death. All of our deaths.
As I approach, I spot Red pacing impatiently back and forth between the three rooms. Jaxon’s door is open and I can just make out his sprawled out form on the bed.
“Hi,” I wave halfheartedly.
“Evie,” Red jumps towards me. Jaxon, upon hearing my name, bolts immediately upright. He doesn’t come out to greet me, but his eyes flick impatiently in my direction. Despite his efforts to play it down, the worry is clear on his face.
“Sorry,” I mumble. “I didn’t mean to disappear. I fell asleep.”
Red grabs me by the shoulders and looks me in the eye. Enunciating carefully, he says “You fell asleep?”
I step back and make my best effort at a winning smile. “Sorry,” I duck my head.
I can actually see the anger rising in Red. His whole body goes stiff. His mouth starts working like he’s so full of words he has to let a few escape before he begins speaking.
“Red. It wasn’t a big deal. I visited my old hideout, that’s all. And I happened to fall asleep. I’m sorry.”
Just like that his anger is gone. Pity flashes through his eyes as he remembers what the Hollow’s used to be like. The daily nightmare of life back then. “You can’t disappear like that.” He flattens his hands against my shoulders, brushing away imaginary specks of dirt. “Come on, we need to talk.” He gestures into Jaxon’s room.
“All of us? Why? Should I get Annie?” I glance over to my room but can’t see her through the barely open door.
Red considers for a moment, then says “No. I think she’s gone through enough already. It’s better to keep her out of this.”
“Okay,” I nod in full agreement.
“Welcome back,” Jaxon says as I make myself comfortab
le on the end of his bed. He tucks his feet up, making room for me, then tosses an extra pillow in my direction. I sit silent and wait for Red to begin speaking.
“So,” Red starts of slowly. He paces back and forth in front of Jaxon’s bed. I feel like a child about to be scolded by her father. “We’re in trouble.”
“No, really?” I scoff.
“Shut it,” Red shoots a playful glare at me. It’s reassuring to see that look. To know that no matter how deep we dig ourselves, I’ll still have Red by my side. “The Millennials know our names. They know our address. Soon they’ll ferret out the names of our friends and acquaintances. We can only run for so long. Eventually they’ll find us, even down here in the Hollows. They have all the time in the world.”
“So what shall we do about it?” Jaxon asks in the defensively arrogant tone he uses whenever Red is around.
Red looks helplessly between us, then confesses like it pains him, “I don’t know.”
“We could leave,” I say. I feel everyone’s eyes turn on me so I blunder forward. “We’ve made it out of Haven once. We could do it again. Just go live out in the wilds.”
Red considers for a moment, but Jaxon immediately vetoes the plan. “We would never survive. It took three of us to take down one automaton. What happens when there are two? Or three? Or a dozen? Day after day. Night after night.”
“Would it be any different than running from the Praetors? Day after day. Night after night?” I mock. Immediately embarrassment courses through me. “Sorry,” I mutter, sounding almost like I mean it.
I think back over the last couple of days. Of Jaxon’s promise that we would fight them. Of the hours we’ve spent desperately searching for anything we could do to take them down.
“Then we fight them,” I say.
Red gives me an incredulous look. “Fight them?” he sounds faint. “Fighting is all well and good. But three of us? Against thousands? They have all the weapons. All the resources and power. Hell, they could just wait us out if they wanted to.”