Chariots on the Highway

by Limor Moyal

  He jumped Eran, trying to steal it back from him, but before he could do it, Eran saw the note.

  “Texas! Dude! I see you found someone who thinks about you,” he smiled and gave the snack back to Tom. Dan worded his message without giving away his identity, and Tom appreciated him for the thought and the attention to details.

  He loved him so much, and the ‘Timeout’ couldn’t have come in a better time.

  “If you stop being a pain in the ass, you’ll get a half,” Tom smiled while opening the candy.

  “Who is she, Texas? Is it serious?” asked Eran.

  “Very serious, Eran."

  “Wow. I can’t believe the moment has come to hear you say something like that. Tell me everything about her, where is she from? What’s her name? How did you meet?”

  Everything he had hoped Eran wouldn’t ask, packed in one sentence. He didn’t want to lie, again, and on the other hand he didn’t trust Eran with the truth.

  Not when they could find themselves in a difficult situation, of choosing between life and death.

  Not when Eran might find himself in moral dilemmas on the battlefield, not when he didn’t know what his closest friend would really think about him loving a man.

  Maybe one day, maybe after the service, if they kept in touch. If the olive-green uniform color that held them together as team mates wouldn’t melt with leaving the army.

  “Texas, Eran, locate the rest of your team and get to the vehicles. We leave in five minutes for training,” Shai yelled at them from outside the tent, and Tom took the chance to escape answering Eran, “Let’s move, we’ll talk later,” he told Eran, while they were both swallowing the last bite of chocolate and organizing equipment for leaving.

  Vessels training, cleaning and storage, shower, dinner, time went by fast and when Tom cuddled up inside his dusty wool blanket he was so tired that he found it difficult to keep his eyes open to send Dan a text message.

  Tom: “Can’t stop thinking about you and yesterday's events. No matter what I do, you’re with me! On the tank, in the food hall, in the range, you’re with me. My day went by with a smile because of you, Dan. I miss you.”

  Dan: “Me too, Tom, I miss you, I'm smiling, I'm nice to everybody (People think I've completely lost it), waiting for you to come back home to me, waiting for another lesson, I’m an eager student ;)”

  Tom: “I created a monster! But there’s nothing I want more than to feed it. Keep your student standing at attention. I'm on my way home.”

  Tom fell asleep with a smile, with his phone in his hand, pressed against his heart.

  20 A Sabbath Pleasure

  The time was 11:32 on Friday morning when Dan heard a turning key inside the keyhole in the front door. He jumped from the open laptop toward the door when it just opened.

  Tom was standing in front of him, smiling and blushing with a soft look in his eyes. Dan took his hand and pulled him inside, “I've missed you, Tom,” he whispered and took the duffel bag off of his soldier.

  “I've missed you more,” answered Tom and came closer to him so his face was only mere inches from Dan’s. Dan pushed him backwards and pinned him to the wall. His eyes burned with passion and hunger. They rubbed pelvises together as a silent, clear declaration of mutual longing and yearning, and then Dan charged at Tom’s lips with a deep demanding kiss that deepened and went on for an endless moment, while they were eating each other's mouths as if starved for it.

  Tom suddenly stopped the kiss and turned them, placing Dan with his back against the wall, and then he slid down to his knees while mumbling on his way down, “How I've waited to do this, how I've waited to taste you, Dan…” Tom quickly opened Dan’s jeans buttons, eager to reach his prize. He unleashed Dan’s excited cock and took the wet tip into his mouth, tasting and licking him while moaning, enjoying the taste and the sensation. He looked at Dan with his golden eyes, and Dan could feel himself drowning in that look, while his cock was drowning deep in Tom’s mouth. "I love how you taste, baby, I wanted to taste you for so long…" Tom whispered and slid Dan's dick back into his mouth, licking and tasting and sucking with such hunger that it almost undid him.

  Dan let out a deep moan. Wrapped in wet, sheltering warmth while Tom’s sucking him with hunger. He knew he couldn’t hold it for too long, “Tom I can’t, this feels so good, I can’t hold myself, easy, baby, I'm about to cum.”

  Tom loosened his grip, and Dan thought it would give him a moment to collect himself. But then, he felt warm fingers wrapping and grabbing onto his balls, he was worried his body couldn’t hold it anymore. That all it would take is one more moment to drop him off of his feet from the pleasure’s intensity, “Tom! I can’t hold it anymore!” He could barely stand, and he was already dripping.

  One curious courageous finger sneaked up into the valley between his butt cheeks and gently and carefully slid inside, into his secret place. The same place he never knew could be touched, the same place that up until that moment, Dan didn’t know had any importance besides the obvious. But on the very second that the hungry finger penetrated him, he understood! He realized that there are secrets that his body has yet to reveal to him, and Tom was there to help him discover these secrets.

  His muscle ring tightened around Tom's finger as a response to the unexpected penetration, but Tom’s mouth which was milking him and Tom’s finger that penetrated him launched him into a different dimension, and he was blown away. He shot hot jets of thick cum into Tom's greedy mouth, and the overwhelming orgasm shook him up.

  He felt some special kind of electricity that went through his body, lighting up each and every one of his billions of cells.

  Tom milked him with thirst and devotion, and didn’t let go until the last shakings stopped and he started softening up into the glow that followed.

  His head was tilted against the wall, and his eyes slightly closed.

  A little sleepy smile spread across his lips and Tom came back up and was satisfied with the look of the man he loved, relaxed and pleased.

  He grabbed his face and put his lips on Dan’s for a passionate kiss. Dan could taste himself on Tom’s sweet tongue. Tasting Tom and himself together, he finally understood what intimacy was.

  Bodily fluids, of every kind, were a taboo for Lena, and women in general in his life. For him, on the other hand, he found no importance to the issue. And for the first time, with Tom, he realized that the taste and the touch and the smell, and playing with the bodily fluids, not only aroused him and turned him on, but manifested devotion and a deep connection as well. An unconditional, boundaries-lacking devotion, and it excited him.

  He held Tom’s hands and pulled him upstairs, towards the bedroom and shower. They showered, and touched, and tasted and kissed and Tom took both of them in his hands and brought them into a mutual orgasm underneath the water stream.

  Dan was looking fascinated at the mutual eruption and how both of their fluids were mixing into Tom’s hand.

  How, he thought, how is it possible that there are people who think that this perfection is wrong, twisted, perverted, or sick. For him, every moment of revelation, every orgasm Tom gave him, brought him a little bit closer to that place inside that had been closed shut all those years, the place that was only him.

  They were spooning in Dan’s bed. Tom folded in Dan’s body, and Dan gently kissing the back of his neck.

  He smelled his hair and stroked his chest, running fingers through the soft golden hair that sporadically decorated Tom's chest. Dan felt the hard body, the small perky nipples. He was happy to feel Tom Relaxing into his muscular body folded over him.

  “Are you hungry, Tom?” whispered Dan and kissed his ear.

  “Not anymore,” answered Tom with a tired smile.

  “Tom?”

  “Mmmm…” mumbled Tom.

  “Tell me how you got the scar over your eyebrow,” asked Dan while running his fingers gently on the shiny bright scar.

  Tom smiled deeply, “I don’t think so,
Dan, you’ll laugh,” he said.

  “If it’s funny, I'll probably laugh. On the other hand if you don’t tell me, I'll tickle you until the truth flows out of you and then you’ll tell me anyway and I'll probably still laugh. So what will it be, Texas: The hard way, or the harder way?”

  Tom laughed, “You’re not leaving me too much of a choice. Remind me not to negotiate with you in the near future. And yes, I prefer no tickling.

  So get ready Dan, the story I'm about to tell you is completely heroism-deprived. It wasn’t a school fight, it wasn't a hate-crime, it wasn’t an army injury, it’s not even because I was fighting with my sister. I got this scar for coming out of the closet, an actual closet!” Dan laughed uncontrollably, which wasn’t surprising given the circumstances, and it did in fact sound like a story that was needed to be told. When the laughing stopped Dan asked to hear what happened, and so Tom went into detail, “We were playing hide and seek, me and Abigail, my sister. It was in my grandmother’s house when we were still in Israel, and she had this big dark wooden closet, with a weird smell of naphthalene and old wood. I peeked through the crack, and when I saw Abigail getting further towards the porch, I decided that that was the moment to forever come out of the closet. I jumped outside and pushed the heavy door, but I didn’t see the tie rack that was apparently stalking me, pinned behind the door. So my forehead had an encounter with the fucking tie rack, and I got this deep cut on my eyebrow.

  Anyway, coming out of the closet came by with a lot of blood, crying and pain. Abigail won the hide and seek game, of course, and my mom rushed me to the emergency room. During the entire drive over there, she lectured me about being careless, about not thinking ahead, about how I don’t think about the repercussions of my acts, about embarrassing her for going into my grandmother’s closet, and about her being disappointed in me. What she neglected to say, during the entire trip and during the entire ordeal was that she loves me. That she’s hurting for me, that she forgives me for this horrible sin.”

  Tom hushed at the end of the story. The funny atmosphere that started the story disappeared, and Tom retreated into himself, thinking.

  Dan hugged him tightly and whispered to him, “I'm guessing, Tom, that that was the only time you came out to your mom.”

  Tom quietly nodded and pressed himself strongly into Dan.

  “They don’t know about you, Tom. That’s what you were hiding, that’s what brought you to Israel,” Dan said, both as a question and a statement. But the dark truth was so clear to him, that he was surprised he hadn’t seen it until today. On the other hand, lately he’d learned about himself that he tended not to notice the things laying right in front of his eyes.

  “They don’t know, neither does my sister, and that’s one of the reasons I came to Israel, but not the only one. And I promise to tell you everything Dan, but not today, not now, I need more time, I need to be sure about what we have. Please tell me you understand.”

  Dan hugged and kissed him strongly, “As much time as you need, Tom, I'll wait as long as you need.”

  The sex and the confession exhausted them, and they both fell into a comforting noon nap, hugged and relaxed.

  A loud phone ringing woke them up, Dan opened his eyes and the clock by the bed said 17:00. It was Tom’s phone ringing from downstairs and neither of them had the energy or will to go down and get it.

  The ringing stopped but then started again, Tom understood that whoever it was, they were determined to talk to him, and he dragged himself down the stairs to get the phone.

  When he came back upstairs the phone was pressed against his ear and he had a worried look.

  “I'm at Dan’s because I wanted to come here. Is there a problem with that Kfir?”

  Dan’s muscles stiffened like a panther's to the sound of the name, and he felt his animal instincts boiling up his blood.

  “I know what I said, but things changed Kfir, and I'm here now,” he said into the phone with his stare locked on Dan.

  “Let me ask him,” he put the phone on silent mode, and asked Dan, “He wants to come by and talk, how do you feel about that?” Tom seemed a little lost when asking it.

  “It’s your house, Tom; you don’t need my permission to talk to anyone,” answered Dan with a grouchy tone. He wasn’t about to take the bad guy role in the situation at hand. “What does he even want to talk about?”

  “We didn’t break up officially, Dan, I just cut the connection, I disappeared, I asked for some time out, and didn’t bother to explain, I thinks it’s only fair.”

  Dan did not like the idea at all! He didn’t want to see Kfir, he didn’t want anyone to come into the warm bubble that he and Tom had created, and he was worried, he didn’t know why, but he was.

  Tom gave Kfir an approval to come by, and went downstairs to bring up his duffel bag. He went upstairs with his equipment and went towards the room that was once his, before the ‘Big Bang’.

  Dan saw him walking towards the room, and was washed by mixed feelings. He wanted to tell Tom that he’s a part of him now, and his bedroom is now their bedroom. But he couldn’t say anything, knowing Kfir was about to come over to have this conversation which could end in so many ways he didn’t want to imagine. It burdened him and he wanted to talk about it with Tom, but he was afraid to seem jealous, he was afraid to scare Tom, he was afraid it might be too soon to claim ownership. He was confused.

  Tom got organized in his room, and Dan in his. They met downstairs and Dan made them coffee and roast beef sandwiches.

  He checked on Tom, trying to figure out his mood, trying to assess the clothes Tom chose to wear for the meeting, and what statement they made. Apparently he wasn’t gay enough to know what fashion choices signified.

  “Are you okay, Dan? Is there anything you want to tell me? Are you mad? Do you want me to go talk to him somewhere else? A coffee shop maybe?”

  “No!” said Dan with decisiveness that came across as a scream, and Tom opened his eyes wide with surprise.

  “Fine, I'm not going, but tell me what’s going on!” asked Tom with a worried look.

  “I don’t know, Tom, I can’t stand him. I can’t stand the thought of him touching you, I don’t want to see him, and I want this to be done quickly and for him to leave,” Dan did his best to explain.

  “I promise it’ll be done quickly. I promise he will leave. Now hug me, Jedi.” Tom came closer for a hug, but Dan’s body was tense. Deep inside, he was glad to know how much Dan was jealous, but felt that Dan’s inability to directly communicate his wants could be a challenge. He knew that it was something they would have to learn how to do for the good of the relationship they were trying to establish.

  Knocks on the door startled them both, and Tom gave Dan a last look before going over to open the door. Dan stayed in the kitchen, leaning against the marble, clinging tightly to the cold surface.

  Nacshon came in and politely greeted Dan, “Hi, Dan, it’s good to see you,” he said with his half forced smile and Dan nodded back without a word. He hated lying, he hated to fake joy, or niceness, and politeness was something he chose not to acquire since he remembered himself. Especially with this guy that threatened what he felt was his.

  Kfir looked at Tom and something in his look softened. This, Dan definitely understood, it’s impossible not to love his soldier. His! Soldier.

  His! He thought while seeing Kfir coming closer and grabbing Tom for a hug.

  Tom hugged back, but turned the hug into one between friends, while adding a few pats on Kfir’s back that summed up the act a lot quicker than the charming veterinarian had hoped. Dan was furious.

  Tom walked with Kfir to the deck, and turned his head towards Dan with an even more worried look, “We’ll be outside,” he said, and they left.

  The minutes went by so slowly, and Dan could feel himself losing his mind. The emotional steam was building up in him and threatening to burst all over.

  He opened a beer, sat in front of his laptop and tried to distra
ct himself with e-mails. A task that, of course, failed completely.

  After what felt like a week but probably was more like half an hour, he heard the door open and Kfir and Tom walked in and looked at him.

  Kfir had a broken look, and Tom had a sad one.

  “I'm going upstairs to get your books, Kfir,” said Tom and left.

  Kfir looked at Dan, and was hesitant before saying, “You’re lucky to win his heart, I hope you don’t break it."

  “I'll cut my own hand off before hurting him, Kfir,” he answered.

  “I guess what should happen… does happen, eventually! That’s life,” stated Kfir.

  But Dan hated that statement and the steam that was looking for an out, found a crack, “That sentence is the biggest bUllshit I've ever heard!

  Nothing happens because it needs to happen! By what schizophrenic’s logic does that happen exactly? Shit happens, just because! No big master plan behind it. And all we can do about it is hold up and umbrella and hope the shit doesn’t hit us!

  And if it does hit us, clean it as much as possible and move the fuck on!

  I wish you all best, Kfir. You’re a nice guy, but I'll be very happy not to ever see you again! Don’t take this the wrong way, but I can’t fucking stand you!” Dan felt relief, so many times he’d wanted to say that and didn’t dare.

  Tom, who just walked down the stairs, heard what was said and didn’t like it. It was true he was happy that Dan was jealous, but he didn’t like seeing him rudely stepping all over the man. The man who was his partner in the past few months, and had tried his best for Tom. It was even worse to attack him like that, after he’d broken up with him and hurt him.

  “Kfir, come on, I'll walk you to the car,” said Tom, while giving Dan an accusing look.

  After a few minutes, he came back and shut the door behind him.