by Camy Tang
She hopped her chair a few inches further away.
“Okay, everybody, take five clothespins.” Tiki passed them out. “Stick them somewhere on you.”
Lex stuck them out from her blouse sleeves like a porcupine.
“Okay, if someone catches you saying the word ‘wedding,’ they can take a clothespin. Whoever has the most pins at the end wins!”
Tiki clapped her hands and bounced on her toes as if this were the most clever game ever invented.
Lex unclipped herself and handed all five clothespins to Mr. Babysitter. “Here. Wedding.”
“Lex!” Tiki’s face matched her pinky lipstick. “Can’t you even try to get into the spirit of things?”
“Nope.” Lex said the word with relish.
Mr. Babysitter shifted the now-hiccoughing Tavi to one arm and grabbed Lex’s pins. “Thanks. I’m not saying another word all afternoon.”
“Okay, everyone, now take some toilet paper. However much you like.” Mariko giggled as she passed around the toilet paper rolls. Several of the other women also started giggling and pulling off wads and wads of paper. Lex tore off one sheet.
“We’re separating you into two teams. You guys are team one — ”
Mariko pointed to three Barbies (Lex didn’t remember their names), Lex, Mr. Babysitter, and baby Tavi. “The rest are team two. Now, pick a model and make her a bridal gown from the toilet paper!”
You have got to be kidding me. Why did Mariko cheer? It would be hard to find an older or dumber bridal shower game in history.
“Lex, you’re our model.” Tall girl with fried blonde hair.
“Because we know how to make a good dress.” Asian girl with green contact lenses, making her look rather alien-like.
“No. Way.” Lex crossed her arms.
“Oh, come on.” Buxom girl with short hair held out her length of TP. “The less you fight, the faster this will be over.”
She had a point. It wasn’t as if Lex was going to help them make the dress, and Mr. Babysitter had his hands full. “Fine.” She flung out her arms and clipped Green Contacts’s nose.
Mariko should have set a time limit. The Three Stooges dithered over where to put every single length of TP.
“Over her shoulder?”
“No, then it won’t drape for a nice train.”
“How about dipping down in front?”
“No, that’ll upset the lines.”
Lines? It was a TP dress, for crying out loud. And did they need to touch her so much? “Just put it on!” Lex swiveled so she could give all three her hottest glare. Mr. Babysitter sat apart from them, holding baby Tavi a little like a football.
The doorbell rang. Since Lex’s group was the only one in line of sight with the door, Buxom Girl darted to open it.
Lex twisted around. “No!” She looked ridiculous. She didn’t want anyone to see —
Too late. The door swung open. “Got a package. I need a signature.” A UPS deliveryman stood there in his brown uniform. He did a double-take at seeing Lex mummified, with Fried Blonde wrapping her head in more TP for a veil.
Lex’s glare lanced right through him. “What are you looking at?”
He jumped. “Nothing, ma’am.” He grabbed the electronic pad from Buxom Girl before she could scrawl more than an initial and raced away.
They finally finished, and Lex stood glowering while the girls laughed at her — no way would she believe they were laughing at the dress instead — until Mariko nodded, and she could tear it off her body.
“Oh! Be careful!” Green Contacts tried to save their creation.
Lex stuck her face close enough to see her pupils shrink. “It’s toilet paper. ”
“Okay, next game is Guess That Lingerie!” Tiki trilled a sadistic laugh. “We asked everybody to bring some sexy lingerie for Mariko —they’re all laid out here — so now each of you will guess who brought which outfit!”
Was Tiki dropped on her head as a child? What kind of inane game was this?
Baby Tavi let out a particularly shrieking wail — man, that kid had cried nonstop so far — and Mariko glanced in Lex’s direction. “Lex, you go first.”
“No way.” Lex thrust out her jaw.
Mariko’s eyes spit daggers at her.
Lex burned holes in her Shiseido face with her laser-beam vision.
Mariko took a step toward her.
Rrrrring!
Saved by the cell phone. Lex would even welcome a call from one of Grandma’s friends’ sons right now.
Maybe it was . . . the number looked familiar, but she couldn’t place it. “Hello?”
“Lex, it’s Aiden.”
Lex flashed a brilliant smile at Mariko. “Sorry, I have to take this.” She escaped into the kitchen.
“Hey, Aiden, what’s up?” She peeked into the refrigerator. Maybe Mariko had some carrot sticks . . .
“You have my cell phone.”
Lex straightened, clipping her forehead on the edge of a shelf. “What do you mean? You’re talking to me.” She rubbed her raw skin.
“From your cell phone.”
Lex peered at the phone. Oh. “When did this happen?”
“Last night at volleyball. Remember? We both answered our phones.”
“Oh, yeah.” She’d tossed hers down without answering. She hadn’t even noticed it when she put her phone away.
“Where are you now?” Aiden asked.
“Cupertino.”
“I’m in the area. Want me to come by so we can switch phones?”
“Yes!” Whoa, easy there, Rover. “I mean, that would be fine.”
“Give me your address.”
Lex recited Mariko’s address with the gusto of the kids in Sunday school. “Need directions?”
“No, I’ll MapQuest it. I’ll call if I get lost.”
She hung out in the kitchen, munching on an apple until the mortifying lingerie game had finished. She took her seat next to Mr.Babysitter, who was trying to juggle a squirming Tavi and a cup of syrupy punch someone had given to him.
He held out his cup to her. “Can you hold this for a sec?”
“Sure.” She grabbed it.
Mr. Babysitter changed to a weird stiff-armed bouncing thing with the squalling baby. Tavi had crescendoed to a piercing howl.
Mr. Babysitter’s eyes held pure panic as he turned to her. “Know anything about babies?”
“No.” He couldn’t pay Lex enough to lay a finger on Tiki’s spoiled brat.
Baby Tavi paused his wide-mouthed crying to burp. A drop of cloudy drool trickled down his chin.
Ew. Lex flipped her eyes away faster than Dad with the remote control. Mariko bustled past her, wafting some sickly sweet scent her way. Lex’s abused stomach rumbled, then stilled.
Baby Tavi had quieted to sniffles, snorts, and hiccoughs, all of which started to sound very wet and slurpy and gross. He now had a large spot of ochre-colored drool on his bib. Don’t think about the color! Lex tried to shut one eye so she couldn’t see him.
She breathed a shallow breath in through her nose, but then caught a whiff of something distinctly urp-smelling. She gagged.
“Mariko, I’m not feeling well.”
Mariko tilted her head down as she glared at Lex. She propped a hand on her hip, making her bangles jingle like chains. “You stay right where you are.”
“I’m serious, Mariko.”
A pink glitter extension aimed at her. “Stay put.”
Lex’s stomach heaved again. Maybe if she didn’t move, it would settle down.
A gushing liquidy sound. Warmth dripping on her hand, soaking through her slacks.
Don’t look, don’t look, don’t —
The smell of regurgitated carrots assailed her. Her eyes flew open in shock.
Orange-yellow splattered on her hand, her forearm, all over her leg. Lucky her. Tavi had the projectile thing going.
Her stomach rose to boiling. She clapped her hand over her mouth and nose, trying to think cool,
calming thoughts while her gut roiled.
Unfortunately, she forgot about the cup of syrupy juice in her hand. It spilled all over the source of her misery.
Well, she got most of it on Tavi’s bib. And his head. And Mr.Babysitter’s pants. And Mariko’s floor.
“Aaaaiiiiieeeee! ” Mariko’s piercing shriek sent a jolt through Lex’s body.
Lex couldn’t move. She stared at Tavi’s red-orange grinning face and pressed a shaking hand to her midsection.
Tiki rushed to Tavi’s side, but then stood there flapping her arms canary-style when Mr. Babysitter shoved the newly anointed baby at her. “Ew . . . ugh . . . er . . .”
“Lex, how could you?” Green Contacts circled them, but she also kept out of reach of Tavi’s flinging arms. “He’s just a baby.”
“He started it.” Lex tried to wipe the baby urp from her hand onto Mr. Babysitter’s pants.
“Hey!” He shifted away from her.
“Your pants are already dirty.”
“So are yours.”
Hmm. Good point. Oh, no. Lex’s stomach started boiling again. “I’m going to be sick.”
The circle around them expanded faster than a balloon. Mr. Babysitter’s dismayed gaze passed over each of the women. “Somebody take the kid!”
Lex gagged in Mr. Babysitter’s direction.
“Aim at your own pants!”
The doorbell rang.
Green Contacts waggled a finger at Lex. “Put your head between your legs.”
Lex tried to glare at her through the tears gathering in her eyes.
Rats. Being sick always made her cry. Not now, not in front of these people . . .
“Is Lex Sakai — ?”
Aiden.
He stood in the open doorway, the sunlight bright behind him. Her knight in shining armor.
“Save me,” she croaked.
He felt like a knight in shining armor.
Lex looked paler than mochi rice-dumplings. Tears streaked down her face, and she held her orange-colored hand out from her, as if in denial that it belonged to her.
Aiden strode to the refreshment table and grabbed the entire stack of cocktail napkins. He had to use half the napkins on her hand, the other half on her pants. “What’s wrong? Dizzy?”
She shook her head. She kept her eyes screwed shut, her mouth pinched closed.
“Nauseated?”
She nodded.
The women chattered around him, as intelligible as a flock of pigeons. He ignored all advice, questions, innuendoes, and flirting.
A girl who looked a little like Lex sank her talons into his upper arm so she could hiss in his ear. “Get her out of here.”
Lex rose on shaky legs. Aiden held her elbow as he guided her to the door. One of the women slung Lex’s purse over her shoulder.
Mr. Babysitter had sat there while the women cleaned up the baby with wipes, then mopped up his pants. As Lex headed toward the door, he rose to his feet and faced her, looking like a bulldog. “These were Giovannis. I should make you buy me new ones.”
Aiden expected a blazing hot answer from her, but Lex just peered at him, her eyes dazed.
The guy slanted his beady eyes at her. “I might be more forgiving if you can get me Giants’ tickets.”
Lex inhaled a raspy breath and swallowed hard before answering.
“It’s only college games, you doofus.” She turned toward the door.
Aiden put a steadying hand on her waist, but a jolt of tension tightened her entire abdomen at his touch. He immediately removed his hand.
She didn’t seem to mind his grasp of her elbow. Her weight sagged against his hand. He shuffled her out the door, and someone slammed it behind them.
When he opened the door to his SUV, she flinched away from his leather seats. “My pants.”
Where had he put those extra T-shirts? Trunk? No, backseat. He spread them over the leather and let her climb in gingerly.
He got behind the wheel. “Home?”
“Blossom Hill and 85.” She sat with eyes closed.
The tears spilled down her face. She wouldn’t open her eyes. He wondered if she wanted to shut out the world.
Somehow he knew it wasn’t sickness. Her entire body had seemed to shrivel where she sat. How many people had ever seen her weak and vulnerable? Her hand clutched the door handle, knuckles white.
Some knight you are. Catching her at her worst. I’m sure she’s thrilled about that. He caught the tremble in her lower lip before she drew them tight.
“It’s okay. I’ll take back roads and drive slow.”
A small smile appeared on her face. His heart expanded.
He punched it down immediately. Dummy. She was Trish’s cousin and a Christian. Wasn’t Trish’s hypocrisy enough?
“Drmmmnn.”
“What?”
She reached down for her backpack purse at her feet. “Drm-mmnn.” She fumbled inside, then pulled out a foil packet of tablets.
Lex looked at him, finally, as she held out the packet. Her bleary gaze captured his eyes, pleading, but somehow calm. Trusting.
He pulled over and took the medicine from her. “Dramamine?”
He popped out an orange tablet.
“For the nausea.” She bit down on the tablet, then pulled a bottle of water out of her purse.
Aiden drove on, listening to her directions. Her voice started to slur, her eyes drooping with sleepiness. “It’s the medicine. Makes me tired.” She yawned. “Follow Santa Teresa all the way down. A few miles.” She sighed. Then sighed again. “I’m so sorry, Aiden.”
Knight in Shining Armor. “It’s okay.”
“I’m so glad you came.”
“Well, I needed my phone.”
“Forgot about that. You’re so nice to come pick it up.” She yawned with a little sound at the back of her throat. “You don’t make me feel bad. Not like those girls.”
“They made you feel bad?” He shouldn’t be encouraging her to talk, not with her disoriented like this.
She snuggled back into the leather seat, eyes closed. “They snipe. You don’t. You don’t fuss either.”
She fell into a restless doze. She roused with a slurred, “Wedding cake.”
“Dreaming about a wedding?”
She smiled but didn’t open her eyes. “Mm-hm. You’re not a bad guy.”
“I’m glad you think that.”
“Really. I could like you.” She turned her head toward the window and sank deeper into the seat.
“Huh?”
She gave an enormous yawn and mumbled something that sounded like, “Will you marry me and save me from Grandma?”
He jerked the wheel back before he crashed the truck.
TWENTY
For the first time in weeks, Trish had come to church. Lex had come alone, not expecting her cousin to show up, but then Trish had slipped into a seat at the back about twenty minutes late.
Lex fidgeted in her pew, craning her neck to make sure Trish didn’t slip out before the worship leader finished the closing prayer.
“Amen.”
Lex shot out of her seat and scurried toward the back of the church. Trish had already slipped out the door.
If Trish had been at Mariko’s shower, Lex wouldn’t have said whatever she said to Aiden to make him unceremoniously dump her at her front door and sprint away. She had been so sleepy from the Dramamine, she couldn’t remember. At least she’d remembered to go with Dad and get her car back from Mariko’s house.
“Lex.”
She skidded to a halt and turned around. “Venus. You didn’t go to your church today?” Venus had switched from Lex’s church after one too many of the single guys had been too persistent in their attention.
“No, I came here. I wanted to see you.”
“Why?” Lex saw Trish duck into the women’s room. Good. She had time to talk to Venus.
“I heard about the bridal shower.”
A low moan rumbled out of her throat. “Let’s not
go there.”
“How about a detox mud wrap?”
“Huh?” Lex frowned. “My stomach is still sensitive, Venus.”
“No, dummy, a detoxifying skin treatment. It’s at Belview Spa.”
“I don’t think my skin’s that important.”
“It’s to relax, idiot.”
“Oooh. Wow, that’s nice of you, Venus.” She saw Trish exit the women’s restroom. “Hang on, I need to talk to Trish. Trish!”
Her cousin didn’t turn around. She raced out of the building as if Mrs. Cathcart was chasing after her, asking her to teach Sunday school. Lex detoured around a few clusters of people chatting, then followed Trish out the door.
She stumbled out into the parking lot in time to see Trish nip into a cherry-red Mazda convertible with a slick Asian man at the wheel. They peeled out of the church lot.
Left behind. A hollowness ached in her stomach. Trish had never run away from Lex before. Why would she not want to be with her?
“Was that her boyfriend?” Venus’s heels clunked against the blacktop.
“I guess.” Lex couldn’t hide the soft snuffle as she cleared her nose. “She didn’t want to talk to me.”
“Her loss. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Come on.” Venus walked toward her car, a silver convertible. “I’m driving.”
“Pfffaugh. I can’t look, I’m going to puke . . .”
Venus gave an exasperated snort. “You don’t have to look at it. Close your eyes.”
“When I do, all I see is brown goo. Ugh . . .” Lex’s stomach shifted, as if uncertain whether to be nauseated or not.
She squeezed her eyes shut and sank deeper into the tub of mud. Actually, the heat felt amazingly good. Her old lower back injury —from the chair at work — had felt like a rock shoved at the base of her spine, but as she stretched out in the mud, the pressure slowly receded.
She heard the mud slurp as Venus shifted in her own tub. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
One thing about this sticky soak, it gave her mind license to wander into places she’d rather not go. Like why Trish had run away. The hurt at being left standing in the parking lot.
No, let’s not go there. Think happy thoughts. Her brain didn’t oblige, instead moving back to Mariko’s shower. The mud looked a little like —