“What is your problem?” I whisper to him.
His eyes widen. “My problem?” he whispers back. “Samantha, I walked out from watching television with your son to find you curled up in a chair with your ex-husband! Who, I may add, is the man responsible for our current predicament of being forced out of our home. And is the bastard who—”
“Stop!” I interrupt harshly, glaring up at Tom. “I’m sorry about what you walked up on. I really am. It is not my intention to make you jealous or angry or to make you hate Matt even more than you already hate him. It won’t happen again.”
I know there is so much more he wants to say on the subject, but when he glances over my shoulder, his expression hardens, he nods, and moves past me. When I turn to see what stopped him, I find Matthew at the top of the long staircase to the front door watching us with an unreadable expression in his eyes as he follows Tom’s movements closely. His eyes dart to me briefly before turning to open the door.
Inside, it doesn’t seem like anything has really changed since I left. The furniture is still the same, the décor is still the same... Even the photo taken on our wedding day is still in place. My eyes linger on this for quite a while, staring at the incredibly happy people in the picture. Matthew and I are staring into each other’s eyes as though if we were to look anywhere else, the world would have ended—and I suppose at the time that’s exactly how I felt. Even in the freeze frame, the love for me in his eyes was more than apparent and the look in my own is one of disbelief that I’d managed to make such an incredible man fall for me.
“Mommy! That’s you!”
I’m snapped out of my bittersweet reverie as Tyler speaks, looking up at me with his toothy grin. “Yeah, baby, it is,” I say quietly, my eyes darting around to find Matthew. He looks uncomfortable, as though he suddenly wishes he had taken the portrait off the wall above the fireplace. I try to give him a smile of reassurance that I don’t actually feel, but he’s already wandered away to answer a call on his cell phone.
“You looked happy,” Tom comments quietly, also staring up at the picture.
I sigh. Though I’d invited half my town to my wedding, Tom had declined to attend. He hadn’t believed I would actually marry a man I’d known for only six months and thought I was crazy to even consider it. For the week leading up to the wedding, I had almost daily phone calls from him, most of which I rejected, trying to talk some sense into me. After the wedding, I didn’t speak to the man who I considered my best friend from the time I started walking for two and a half years, until the night I showed up unannounced at his house.
“I was happy,” I reply just as quietly. It was true. That day had been among the best of my life, second only to the birth of my son.
Matthew strolls back in the room. “Right. So I have some work to take care of,” he says briskly. “Make yourselves at home. Sam knows her way around the place.” I don’t miss the not-so-subtle reminder directed at Tom that this had once been my home. “Leo’s going to order a couple pizzas, since I don’t know how long I’ll be. But let me know if you need anything.”
With that, he disappeared down the hall to his office, leaving me with Tom’s grumbles about how poor a host Matthew is to bring us into his house, then abandon us. “Stop,” I warn him.
“Stop what?” he snaps back.
“Acting like a petulant child,” I reply immediately.
He glares at me, but wisely keeps his mouth shut against any argument he may have come up with. Shaking my head at him, I turn, noticing our bags are gone—probably upstairs in the bedrooms—and I offer to take Tyler on a little tour. Tom follows us grudgingly. The first thing I notice is that my and Tom’s bags are just inside the door of one of the guestrooms and I wonder whether this is Matthew’s or Leo’s decision—though I’m sure if Matthew had his way, I’d be sleeping as far from Tom as humanly possible while still keeping us in the same house. Next, I note that the bedroom where Tom and I will be sleeping is as far from Matthew’s as it can be.
When we find Tyler’s room, I can only stare in disbelief. The last time I was in this room, it was dominated by a crib, changing table, and baby toys. I don’t know when Matthew changed it, but now it’s got a child-sized bed, less babyish decoration, a little desk and bookcase, and a large toy box that I just know will be filled with age appropriate things for a six-year-old boy. I wonder how long it’s been like this, whether Matthew had made phone calls while we were in Omaha to have the room prepared for our arrival or if he is just sentimental and wanted the room like this to remind himself of his son whenever possible. While Tyler occupies himself with the toy box, I force my mind to settle on the thought that Matthew did this because of his nieces and nephews whom I’m sure visit often.
“So what do you think?” I wandered back to my guestroom to find Tom standing at the window looking out onto the grounds, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
He turns slowly, sitting on the windowsill. “It’s a nice place,” he mutters. “I can see why you liked it here. There’s actually a view that’s not farmland and animals.”
I smile slightly, grabbing our duffel bags off the floor and placing them on the large bed. “Wait until you see the lake. Matt’s got a small boat that he takes out fishing when he has a spare minute. I’m sure he’d let you use it if you wanted.”
To my surprise, Tom actually perks up a bit at this news. “I still don’t like this,” he says fifteen minutes later after we’ve unpacked what little amount of clothing I managed to stuff into the bags. We’re lying on our backs side-by-side, staring up at the ceiling.
“I know you don’t,” I say. “I’m not actually a big fan of it either, but I’d rather be here than at home unaware of the situation.”
“I agree,” he replies with a resigned sigh. “He still wants you, though. And he doesn’t seem to have any respect for our relationship.”
I close my eyes against my eye-rolling. “That’s just Matt,” I say. “He does have respect for our relationship, but at the same time, he and I have a very long history together and that’s not something that just goes away.” I roll onto my side to better look at Tom; he turns his head to meet my gaze. “And I really am sorry for letting him fall asleep on my shoulder on the plane. I know it hurt your feelings, even if you won’t admit it, and that is the last thing on my mind right now. I’m with you, Tom, and I swear I will try to keep my distance with Matt until this whole thing blows over.”
His blue eyes search mine. I’m not sure what he’s looking for, aside from reassurance, but after a moment, I find myself sandwiched between him and the mattress as he kisses me deeply, almost possessively. And if we hadn’t been interrupted by a clearing of a throat from the open doorway, I know exactly what that would have led to. We break apart and I feel my entire body flushing in embarrassment when I see Leo at the door, looking anywhere but directly at us.
“Um, sorry,” he mutters in his own embarrassment. “Just wanted to let you know the pizza is here. I can get Tyler situated if you want...”
Before I can even reply, I hear Leo’s footsteps beating a hasty retreat down the hall and can feel Tom’s frustration mounting at the interruption. Reluctantly he rolls off me and we start to arrange ourselves so our shirts are straight and our hair isn’t sticking straight up.
“Does anyone know the meaning of privacy around here?” Tom grumbles.
I raise an eyebrow at him. “The door was wide open,” I remind him. “If it had been closed, he would have knocked.”
“So what’s the deal with Leo?” Tom asks as we wander downstairs in search of Tyler.
I glance up at him. “What do you mean?”
He shrugs as though even he isn’t sure what he wants to ask.
“Matt and Leo have been friends since they were kids,” I explain. “After high school, Matt went to college, Leo went into the military. When he got out, Leo had some... issues with some of the things he dealt with overseas and had a difficult time adjusting to civilian li
fe, but Matt was at his side every step of the way and when he first started his business, Leo was the first person he hired to help him. Officially, he’s in charge of security; unofficially, he takes responsibility for almost everything. Confidant, therapist, talking Matt out of really bad ideas...” I shrug. “Exactly what a best friend does, I suppose. And he lives here. There’s another little house down towards the water that Matt had built for him. He wanted Leo to stay here, but Leo being Leo refused to be a roommate. He comes and goes as he pleases and it seems to work out fine for both of them.”
Tom’s brow is furrowed as he processes this new information and I wonder vaguely whether he’s starting to understand Matthew better. I doubt it; I don’t think there is anything in the world that could make him understand the depth of Matthew’s actions or how much he cares about the people around him. All Tom is aware of is that Matthew is the man who ripped me away from my simple life in Iowa and how he made no contact with me or his son for five years. It doesn’t matter how much I try to explain to him what happened; Tom’s mind is programmed to believe the very worst of my ex-husband and nothing will ever change. I can only hope the two of them will be able to tolerate the other’s existence for Tyler’s sake.
We reach the kitchen where Tyler and Leo are eating, and I immediately notice Leo refusing to meet my eyes, though I do see a small disapproving frown on his face. He’s always been very protective of Matthew, and vice versa, and regardless of the friendliness he extends towards me, I know there are some bitter feelings on his part towards me for a number of reasons. I smile when I see Leo’s obvious enthrallment with my son. He’s always been incredible with children and I can’t deny it’s a relief to see. The Leo I remember from the early days, while carefree and easygoing on the outside, obviously had some pretty dark feelings that he tried to keep hidden after his time in the military. Matthew would never tell me exactly what Leo went through, but if some of the nightmares I overheard from him are any indication, it’s a wonder he hasn’t landed himself in a mental hospital, if for no other reason than to keep himself safe from himself.
After dinner, Leo leads us down to the basement where all the entertainment is held. Tyler makes a beeline for the videogames while Leo pours Tom and me a drink at the bar. An hour or so later, Leo excuses himself to check in on Matthew, and Tom and I settle in to watch a movie with Tyler.
-------------o-------------
In the middle of the night, I wake up suddenly and completely with no idea as to why. Tom is sleeping peacefully, curled up facing away from me, and I find myself gazing out the bedroom window. When I begin feeling restless, I slip out of bed without waking Tom, and head out into the hallway. I hear a faint murmuring of voices downstairs, and though instinct tells me to go in the opposite direction, my feet have a different thought and carry me to the stairs.
“...sure this is a good idea?” I hear Leo say quietly.
“What?” Matthew responds.
Leo sighs heavily. “Look, man, I know you miss her and everything, but obviously she’s moved on. Wouldn’t it be better to just set them up somewhere else with security until this blows by?”
Though I can’t see them, I know Matthew is glaring at his friend. “First of all, fuck you,” he snaps. “Second of all, no, it wouldn’t be better. I’m not going to be able to rest knowing she and Ty might be in danger when I can’t see it for myself. This has nothing to do with the two of us. Once this shit is done, they’ll go back to Omaha and live their lives without my interference if that’s what she wants. I’m not reneging on our deal. She wanted distance, I’m giving it to her.”
“Bullshit it has nothing to do with the two of you!” Leo whispers loudly. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, Matt. You’re worse than ever and having her back in your life isn’t doing anybody any favors.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not interested in doing anybody favors,” Matthew responds. “Besides, Saunders isn’t going to let me within ten feet of her after what happened on the plane.” I close my eyes against the bitterness in his voice as though that will shut it out completely. “Yeah, I miss her. A whole fucking lot. That’s not going to change. But if this is going to be my last time seeing her or my son, I’m damn well going to make it count.”
Another sigh from Leo. “Fine,” he says wearily. “What have you heard from the Italians?”
I slide a little further down the stairs to better hear.
“I’ve got Williams on it. The bastard that was staking out their street caught a flight out of the country a couple hours later and we don’t know a damn thing about him. All we really know right now is they’re getting desperate. They actually made contact our head of development, trying to bribe him into giving away the plans.”
“Ballsy,” Leo says with a tinge of being impressed. “I still don’t understand why they’re so fucking determined to see you brought down. I mean, I know you’ve pissed them off enough...”
Matthew sighs this time. “I’m really starting to believe this is more than just wanting to get a hold of new technology,” he says exhaustedly. “It’s getting personal, especially with them brining Sam and Tyler into it. I don’t have a lot of weaknesses, but if something happened to one of them...” I imagine him shivering in horror at the very thought and I just want to go into the kitchen and hold him. “This whole situation is getting out of hand, Leo.”
“Well, we’ll sort it out. We always do. Nothing will happen to either of them.”
“Hope you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right!” Leo says with his trademark cheery tone. “When am I not right?”
I hear the sound of someone slapping someone’s shoulder and after that, the two men talk about inconsequential things—sports, weather, anything other than the apparent danger that surrounded all of us. I force myself to return to bed with Tom and try to sleep, even though it was the last thing on my mind.
Matthew is worried, beyond worried. Apparently this entire thing is personal and I have to wonder what sparked it. He probably wouldn’t ever admit it, especially to me, but he’s scared. Not for himself, but for Tyler and me. I know it’s worse than he’s letting on and though my curiosity is trying to get the best of me, wanting to ask just how bad it is, I know I won’t want the answer.
-------------o-------------
Over the next couple days, we settle into Matthew’s home. We don’t see him often as he’s busying himself with both his work and this threat that looms over us. After the first twelve hours, I saw Tom starting to get restless. After six more, he started pacing. He tossed and turned beside me in bed, muttered under his breath, and glared at Matthew and Leo whenever one of them made an appearance. I’m getting to the point that, much as I love him and understand his frustration, I want to wrap my fingers around his neck and squeeze with all my strength.
On day three of our stay with Matthew, a distraction arrives over breakfast. Leo hands Tom the keys to Matthew’s boat and fishing gear, and tells him to go to town. For the first time in weeks, Tom’s eyes light up and I think he’s actually smiling. Of course Tyler wants to go along, which only leaves me in the house. Leo and Matthew have to head into the office for a couple hours, which Leo told me. I don’t know why, but I’m getting the impression that Matthew is avoiding me at all costs. And I have to admit: it hurts. A lot. Since our conversation on the plane, I haven’t had even a moment alone with him. Knowing him, it’s all calculated and planned. Maybe he doesn’t want to rock the boat with Tom. Maybe he’s just not interested anymore.
I block out all of this as I wander around the place I used to call home. Whatever room I’m in, memories fly back. I loved this place. Matthew let me leave my impression wherever I wanted. I can’t say there was really all that much I left behind, though I do spend quite a while standing in front of the fireplace where our enlarged wedding photo hangs in pride of place above it. Honestly, I can’t believe he kept it up after so long.
At some point after reading, wandering the
immediate grounds, and checking if I can see whether I can find Tom and Tyler out on the boat—turns out I can’t—I end up in front of Matthew’s closed office door. I know damn well this is the last place I have any right to be and even opening the door would be an invasion of privacy. Behind this door is where Matthew Young does his brainstorming, comes up with prototypes, hashes out deals. His office is his happy place. It’s where he goes when he’s upset or angry and throws himself into his work until he’s calm again.
The memory of the night I left surfaces and I remember how I hadn’t seen him for nearly two days after telling him my decision. He locked himself in here and refused to surface, even as his wife and son walked out his front door. This is the thought that has me turning the doorknob and pushing open the door. I let it swing open slowly and stand on the threshold. Like the rest of the house, nothing in here has changed. His huge dark desk sits in front of a large window that overlooks the front of the house, the chair facing the door. On the left wall is a long couch below built-in bookshelves that are stuffed to capacity. On the right is a 500-gallon saltwater fish tank, again, built into the wall. I smile at it, recalling when he had this installed and how excited he’d been about it. He even let me pick out most of the fish and we spent hours that first night sitting across from it, naming the ones we could tell apart from the others. Even from here I can pick out Mr. Grey the black-and-white-striped Angelfish. He was always my favorite. Always had a way of dominating the others.
Feeling braver, I walk in further and let my eyes wander around some of the prototypes Matthew and his company have come up with over the years. There’s a remote control car that runs silently on solar power, has a tiny built-in camera, and can make itself smaller on its own to squeeze beneath doors and into tight corners. Theoretically it’s something to be used in hostage situations or something similar, though Matthew tended to use it to harass me. The number of times I saw that damn thing hiding behind the toilet while I was showering...
Young Lies (Young Series) Page 8