by Nika Lucas
But I can’t picture Trey doing any of that.
After a bit, Ben dances over, covered in sweat and a big shit-eating grin. “Come on,” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet.
I laugh as I allow him to draw me away from Mack.
The crowd is crazy and energized, bodies moving and grinding, most facing the stage as the amps blast the raw and powerful voice of Trey tinged with pure and painfully raw emotion.
I don’t know all of his songs yet, I’ve only caught his one show prior to this, and he’s only sung me a few, and mostly songs he’s written since we met. Everything he sings is like learning a little bit more about him, as though he’s peeling back layers of flesh that hides these pure and untainted images of him come alive through song.
He is pure rock and roll. He is hard rock. And damn, listening to him sing, watching him sing, mouth so close to the mic I can imagine it as my cock, I’m suddenly turned on.
Not just horny – almost fucking in heat horny. Trey is a fucking super-hero capable of making my ass slick with my omega juices.
I’m dancing, body grinding away, and teeth clamped down on my lower lip like I’m going to fucking cream my pants.
And the general atmosphere? It’s bodies everywhere. The smell of sweat and pheromones fills the room, and maybe it’s not just me. A lot of the omegas in the room are creaming themselves. And the alphas? They’re right in the thick of it, dry-humping their lovers, or future lovers. The bar suddenly feels like an orgy about to happen.
When the song ends, the entire room looks stunned.
Trey, the oblivious stud, doesn’t notice. He says “Thank you,” with such sincerity that I wonder if he’s a fucking siren.
As he starts up the next song, Ben grabs my arm and drags me closer to the stage. I’ve been trying to avoid distracting Trey, but Ben’s not going to give me an option. And damn it, I want to get closer to him.
As we weave our way through the sweaty and delicious mass of bodies, an alpha shifter grabs me and tries to draw me into dancing with him. I can’t help it, I snap at his face with a snarl and he backs away. That’s a risk for an omega, but I’m claimed, and anyone fucking with me is going to get bitten.
Ben witnesses the brief conflict and laughs, and the two of us dance closer to the stage.
When Trey sees me, he gives the two of us a warm smile and doesn’t lose a beat. He’s smooth, continuing on, though he looks my way frequently.
With most of the bar behind me, I almost feel like it’s just Trey and me, with him singing just for me, and I dancing just for him. I can almost block everything else out, except when Ben bumps into me and squeals.
He thinks he’s got Trey’s attention. I’m going to break his heart, poor Ben. Selfishly, I think, I don’t care. Trey is mine. I’ll fight my own pack for him.
This song ends and my god, the bar smells like alcohol, cigarettes, and sex.
He thanks the crowd and then says, “This next song I wrote for someone very special in my life. I hope you enjoy it.”
My heart flutters as he starts singing the song he sang to me on our first date, Pain Behind his Eyes. I realize I’m hearing it complete, perfected, and I listen to the words as he sings about finding that special someone who he wants to be with, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Those lyrics are new, and I feel my eyes tear up.
This is love, really love, and I’m overwhelmed. I refuse to cry, but I think I’m going to anyway.
He stares right at me through the entire song. The room might as well have disappeared, leaving the two of us alone in the universe. We are the only two people in this room. There is no one else. I hang onto every word, afraid to miss a single one.
Ben turns to me, his eyes wide, his face goofy in drunken glee. “He’s looking right at me!”
I just smile. I don’t look away from Trey.
“Seriously! Oh my god! Look, Cal! I think, I think, I think he wrote the song for me!”
I’m partially irritated that he keeps pulling me away from my song. But Ben is my best friend – or he was. He doesn’t know that he’s been replaced, and he apparently has had too much to drink to see clearly past his own hopes and dreams.
I can understand that. Trey is my hopes and dreams too.
Ben turns back to the stage, his eyes a bit dreamier than before. He then realizes the direction of Trey’s gaze, though in our direction, is slightly off. Trey’s gaze goes past him. Ben looks between Trey and me, back and forth, and ever so slowly, the truth dawns on him.
His mouth hangs open as he stares at me, bewildered, as though seeing me for the first time.
“Ben,” I say, “I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you…”
“You dawg, Cal!”
I expect him to yell at me, hate me, maybe even punch me, but when he comes at me, it’s to sweep me into his embrace.
“I can’t believe you kept this from me. Way to go.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Hell, no. I’m fucking jealous.”
The song ends and when I look back at the small stage, Trey grins as though amused by Ben and me.
Ben throws an arm around my neck and presses his mouth to my ear and asks, “Is it true?”
“What?”
“Does he have a small cock?”
CHAPTER 19 – TREY
I’ve never had a roommate before, or a lover, move in with me. My home has been my sanctuary, a place I occasionally brought temporary lovers, but never invited to stay. Yet here Caleb is, moving his stuff into my home.
Our home.
Sometimes I don’t even know myself anymore. Who have I become? I shake my head. This year is bringing so many changes. A lover, and, so Caleb tells me, we’re having a baby.
Caleb stops in the doorway of my bedroom, and he looks suddenly so uncertain. I say nothing as he shuffles from foot to foot, holding a black duffel bag in his hand, staring as though he’s suddenly having second thoughts.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yes,” he replies, but he doesn’t hide his discomfort.
I wrap my arms about him and place my hands upon his tummy. There might be a bump, I think, maybe. He’s only a month along, though.
“It’s just…” he pauses, and I can picture how his brow furrows as he searches for his words, or maybe his confidence. “It’s just, this is it. This is real. This is going to be my bedroom now, isn’t it?”
“Baby, you’ve been spending almost every night here.”
“Yes, but now I get to call it mine. I’m not sleeping over anymore. This is home. It’s real.”
I press my lips to his neck, breathe in the scent of him. “Our home,” I say.
He nuzzles his head against mine, and then with a deep breath, steps forward, into the room. I let him slip from my arms so that I can watch him. Even though he’s been in my bedroom dozens of times, he looks as though he’s stepping onto a new world, strange and foreign.
“Ours,” he repeats. “You don’t think this is... too fast, perhaps?”
I laugh. “You’re having doubts? You’re having my baby.”
“Yes, but… is that the only reason?”
I spin him in my arms so that he faces me. I wonder if he’s joking, but I see a dead calm seriousness.
“No, my love, this isn’t about the baby. This is about us. This is about finding my fated mate. I didn’t even believe in such things until I met you. You know what hurt me the most?”
I let him hang on my words while I pause. There’s a gleam in his eyes, a hint of tears.
“It was knowing I’d found my soulmate and finding that he was claimed by another. It was the fear that somehow, somebody could have stolen you from me before I’d ever even met you. Being able to sink my teeth into that son of a bitch and chase him away was a great feeling. Knowing I could still claim you, knowing we could still be together, it’s the greatest feeling on earth.”
He smiles and looks down, taking my hands in his. “Think we’
re going to be okay?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?”
He shrugs and still won’t look up from my hands. “I just want you to know that I’ll support your music career, I’ll stand by your side, whatever you choose.”
I pull out of his hands and slide mine under his shirt. I feel his abs, run my fingers through the thin, dark hair of his happy trail. He sucks in a breath as I slide my hand down, past the tight waist of his jeans until I find his cock. It stirs in my hands, quickly becoming hard.
“You do realize I’ve got you in my bedroom?” I ask.
“Our bedroom,” he corrects.
“Well, you should know I can’t just bring you in here without taking advantage of you, to use you in every way I possibly can.”
His cock is rock hard in my fist and I can smell his juices flowing.
“I’m going to make you, my omega husband, cum at least three times.”
He grins and bites his lip as I drop to my knees.
CHAPTER 20 – CALEB
I chase after my pack through the woods, not quite keeping up, but not pushing myself either. Both Ben and Mack hold back, not outdistancing me by much, often circling back to make sure I’m okay.
Of course I’m okay. The baby, now five months along, has no problem with my shifting. My father always told me that a shifter has to shift, and it adversely affects the baby if he’s not exposed to the wolf during pregnancy, even making it so that he or she can’t shift. I take that to heart, and I don’t miss running with my pack every chance I get.
I find a sunny spot atop a rocky outcropping and sit, panting.
Mack and Ben pad up next to me, circling, making sure I’m okay.
I shift, my now human skin suddenly uncomfortable on the rough and hot stone.
“I’m alright,” I say, “I just need to rest.”
The two men shift as well, none of us embarrassed by our nudity. Ben sits down next to me and places a hand on my belly.
“You are so lucky,” he says. He’s not being facetious, he’s genuinely sincere. There’s a hint of jealousy, and I wonder if he’s going to get the baby fever once my pup joins the world. I wonder if he’ll consider settling down.
I look at my belly. He can’t keep his hand off my tummy, but I don’t mind.
“I know,” I reply.
“Scoot over,” Mack says, and with a nudge he forces the two of us to make room on the rock. “Damn, I’m going to get gravel in my ass.”
I snort.
Mack stares at the clouds while Ben and I stare at my small bulge.
“Is he really your fated mate?” Ben asks. His eyes move up to the scar of Trey’s bite mark. He ignores the maze of other scars, those left by my ex. We always pretend those aren’t there. “I mean, I know you’re in love. But that whole fated mate thing, I always thought it was nonsense.”
I smile, thinking about the unique emotions Trey brings out in me. “Yes,” I reply.
“But, how do you know?”
Mack leans forward too, and I realize that he also has never experienced it. Though both men have had lovers, none of them have ever found what I have.
“It’s a feeling. It’s like love, except you feel whole, for the first time. It’s as if the universe suddenly makes sense, and all of the loneliness is suddenly swept away. Even being apart, like right now, I can sense him, as though our minds are connected.”
Mack nods. “I hear some fated mates develop a form of telepathy, able to talk between each other with their minds.”
“I don’t know about that. I don’t want him in my mind.”
“Hell no,” Ben agrees, “I’d be ashamed of some of my thoughts. Even with a mate.”
That’s my fear, too. I don’t want Trey to see the scars that Andrew left within me, as vivid in my psyche as the physical scars are on my flesh. He has helped me more than he can ever realize, and yes, he makes me feel whole. Yet sometimes late at night I wake up in a cold sweat, even as the remnants of a dream or nightmare slip away, and I know I might never be able to fully chase away the hurt I suffered.
Or how much I enjoyed it at the time.
I never want Trey to know how broken I am. How damaged.
But with his love, I can keep myself together.
“Did you talk with Trey about joining us?” Mack asks.
“Yes, he still doesn’t want to. He says maybe later.”
Ben stretches and grunts. “I can’t imagine being without you guys. It’s like how you described fated mates. This is what makes me feel whole.”
“Amen to that,” Mack replies. “Now come on, the others are a mile away.”
As we shift, I hear a howl. It’s Jen, calling us to hunt.
CHAPTER 21 – TREY
“Trey!” Caleb calls. He stands in front of the window, staring out into our front yard with the drapes in his hands, silhouetting his sexy and round body with daylight. “Come look, it’s snowing.”
I yawn and scratch as I cross the room. “I haven’t had my coffee yet. I don’t want to see snow.”
He grunts. He releases the drapes and stretches, his belly massive. He can’t hide how his back hurts, but our stubborn child is two weeks overdue, and Caleb won’t let the doctor induce him. He told the doctor that “The baby will come when he’s ready,” but so far, the baby isn’t ready. I understand that all too well, and I can’t help thinking with a smile that I like to stay inside Caleb as long as I possibly can, too. The pregnancy hasn’t taken that away from us.
I wrap my arms about him, hugging both him and the baby in his belly at the same time. I kneel and kiss his belly. “Good morning, you two,” I say.
Caleb smiles, but he continues watching the large snowflakes fall. “It’s really coming down. It’s been snowing all night.”
“Yeah, good thing we have no place to go.”
“But what if he’s ready to come out?”
I sigh and straighten. “Man, I need coffee before I think about things like this.” He’s right though, there must already be a foot of snow.
“I made coffee,” he says, and that’s about the sweetest thing he can say at the moment.
I sniff, taking in the aroma. Of course I knew there’s coffee, it’s delicious aroma fills the house. “You want me to get you some?”
He points to a mug by the couch and rolls his eyes.
I snort and head to the kitchen, past my guitars, past our computers, side by side, until I reach the kitchen.
After I pour me some fresh java, I turn on the stove to cook us some bacon. Cold days like this require a little meat.
Caleb comes in behind me, pulls out a chair at the dining room table, and flops into it with an ‘oof’. I smile; he’s done amazingly well throughout the pregnancy, though it gets harder and harder, day by day. We both want the baby out, to welcome him to the world, but no one wants it more than Caleb.
“Hungry?” I ask, dropping bacon into the skillet, where it immediately begins to pop and sizzle.
He nods and swallows. I watch him out of the corner of my eye while he rubs and strokes his belly. It’s a loving gesture he shows the baby at every opportunity. I should be jealous that I have to share my omega’s attention with another, but I look forward to it. And Caleb is going to have to share our new cub with me, as well.
And that stubborn little cub should be here by now.
I leave the stove and approach my mate. I kneel between his legs and put my lips to his belly. “Hey baby,” I say, “Why don’t you want to come out yet?”
“Oof,” Caleb says, “He knows your voice. He’s kicking.”
I can see it with my own eyes, the press and movement of little feet and fists stretching inside Caleb’s womb.
“Come on, little guy,” I coax, “Come meet your daddies. Come see your new nursery.”
I look up at Caleb to find him smiling down at me. I love the look of love in his eyes. I hope he knows how committed I am to him, that he’s become the music in my life.
Caleb’s s
mile slips. “Now’s probably not the time,” he says.
“What?”
“The baby. I’ve been getting contractions all morning.”
“What the heck? Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it’s snowing. Because I don’t want to go outside for a false alarm. Maybe it’ll pass. They’re still slow.”
I shake my head. “Baby, you’re two weeks overdue. It’s probably not a false alarm.”
Caleb pouts. It’s usually cute when he does that, but right now I want to bite that bottom lip and scold him.
“Let me get dressed,” I say, “Watch the bacon, would you? We can eat it on the way.”
* * *
I return a few minutes later, dressed for warmth. Caleb has the stove off and is putting bacon on a plate. When I enter, he’s cradling his tummy and whining.
“You okay?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Okay. I’ll start the car. Hold on.”
I grab my coat and rush out the door, finding myself in heavily falling flakes of white. Christmas is just eleven days away, and my heart swells thinking I’ll be spending it with my mate and a new child.
But the snow is several feet thick now, and a plow as filled my driveway. I’ll have to dig us out.
I hurry to the shed to grab the snow shovel, and as I return, Caleb is undressing in the doorway.
“Caleb, baby, what are you doing? You’re going to freeze!”
“The hospital is just a few miles away.”
“Yeah, just let me dig it out.”
He stands fully naked, and I can’t help but wonder what my neighbors are thinking. They’re all human, they’re not as open to full nudity like we shifters are. Caleb looks both afraid and sick at the same time.
“I’m going to run for it,” he says.
“No, c’mon, this will just take a second.”
Caleb shifts. Somehow, he looks just as miserable as a wolf. He stands in the doorway, tongue hanging out, and I realize he’s waiting for me to shift too.
“Damn it.”
I strip in the snow, and it’s freezing on my all too human legs. I can’t strip fast enough. I shift before I even have my socks off and have to remove them with my teeth.