If We Fall

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If We Fall Page 17

by K. M. Scott


  With tears in my eyes, I picked up the baby and began walking back to the car where my father’s goon stood waiting. I didn’t speak to him as I fastened Cayden in his car seat and started the car before he even got in.

  That’s how much I cared about him and the man he worked for. I’d happily leave them all behind in a cemetery.

  Cayden cried the entire way home—all thirty-five minutes—and I secretly enjoyed how miserable that made the man sitting in the passenger seat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him wince more than once when the baby hit one of those particularly screechy notes he often could when he was irritable. By the time we pulled onto the estate, I had a feeling he was as miserable as my son.

  Good. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

  As soon as the car stopped, he jumped out and marched away inside the house. I imagined he would give my father the rundown of what I’d been up to when I ventured out into the world, careful to not elaborate on how cranky his grandson had been on the drive home so he didn’t offend his boss.

  Cayden’s crying ceased the minute I took him out of the car seat, and as we walked through the main hallway, I whispered in his ear, “That’s Mommy’s little boy. What do you say we go upstairs and have something to eat?”

  Just as I passed my father’s office, I heard him yell out, “Serena, I want to speak to you!”

  I pulled the baby close and took a deep breath in, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. Without even looking in, I kept walking toward the stairs and said, “Cayden needs to be fed. I can come down after he goes down for the night.”

  “Serena, I want to speak to you now,” he answered in a voice bristling with anger.

  Stopping, I quietly promised Cayden someday we wouldn’t have to live like this and turned around to head into my father’s office to listen to whatever nonsense he had to tell me. He sat behind his desk like usual, but the look on his face indicated he was perfectly pleased with something. I dreaded finding out what.

  “I really need to take care of the baby, so can we make this quick?” I asked as I stopped just inside the doorway.

  “How was your day out?”

  “Fine. I think your man had a particularly good time, courtesy of my son,” I answered, happy to make someone as miserable about my father’s ridiculous rule as it made me.

  “Really? I’ll have to ask Harden,” he said, clearly not understanding the sarcasm dripping off every word out of my mouth.

  “Is that all you wanted?” I asked, turning to leave.

  “Not quite. Before you go, I wanted to let you know I’ll be having someone move into my townhouse.”

  Bile rose into my throat at how disgusted he made me. “Tired of pretending to be the grieving husband, Dad? I guess it’s unnecessary anyway. Everyone here knows the truth.”

  His smile faded a bit, but not enough to turn into a frown. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at my accusation for just the briefest moment and then simply moved on.

  “I didn’t want you to be surprised when you ran into her in the kitchen one night.”

  “Why would I run into anyone here, Dad? She isn’t going to be living in this house, is she?” I asked, sickened by this discussion.

  He extended his arm, and I followed where it pointed toward the back of his office. Before my mind registered who was standing there, the sickening sweet smell of that cheap perfume hit my nose as she stepped toward him to take his hand.

  Kitty.

  Her too-tight red dress showed far more cleavage than I wanted anywhere near my child, and I worried her boobs would pop out of it at any moment. God, she was awful with her stringy blond hair and garish makeup that made her look like she’d just stepped off stage.

  So that was what strippers wore when they wanted to make a good impression on their new neighbors. I couldn’t imagine what she’d dress herself in if she wanted to borrow a cup of sugar.

  “You remember Kitty, don’t you? She’s been a shoulder for me to cry on in these past weeks, which have been so trying.”

  “How nice. I’m sure she’s been so much more than that.”

  “She’ll be moving onto the estate today. I’m sure you and Ryder will make her feel welcome.”

  When he said Ryder’s name, his mouth turned up into one of those crocodile smiles I hated. The thought of this stripper living in the same place as us sickened me. This was my house. I’d lived here all my life. I’d suffered through every indignity my father had forced on me here, and now I’d have to tolerate this woman moving in like some cut-rate replacement for my mother.

  Even worse, she was the ex of the man I loved and the father of my child. This was just another nasty ploy of my father’s to control me and try to drive a wedge between Ryder and me.

  And I had no intention of taking the bait. At least not in front of him.

  I sneered at her as she wound her arm around my father’s. “So now we have former strippers living on the estate? Or is she still taking off her clothes for men in exchange for money?”

  She snapped, “I haven’t done that in months, for your information.”

  Looking her up and down, I’d seen more than enough and turned my attention back to my father. “How nice.”

  “You know, Ryder never held my career against me.”

  I glanced over at her and saw her wearing a smug expression I wanted to smack right off her face. How dare she bring up her past with him?

  Before I could say what I thought of her so-called career and put her in her place, my father cut me off. “You never held Ryder’s past as a fighter against him. I’m sure you can do the same for Kitty.”

  That my father thought comparing Ryder’s past with this woman’s was anything acceptable infuriated me, and before I said something that would let both of them know how much this new arrangement upset me, I turned on my heels and left the office. I wanted to scream, but thankfully, having Cayden in my arms kept me from yelling at the top of my lungs what I wanted to do for dear Kitty.

  By the time I reached the nursery, I was muttering under my breath, “I’m not supposed to hold her past against her? Who does he think he is? What makes him think it’s okay to bring that woman into this house?”

  I sat down in the rocking chair and unbuttoned my blouse so Cayden could feed while my blood nearly boiled about what I’d just heard. My father had done some underhanded things to me in the past, but bringing Ryder’s ex to live just a few yards away from me was beyond the pale.

  As I sat there hiding in my son’s room like I so often did lately, Ryder came in all smiles to see us. “How are my two favorite people today?”

  “My father is moving in your ex-girlfriend today. That’s how this favorite person is doing.”

  He stopped dead and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, he said, “My ex-girlfriend?”

  “Kitty,” I answered, practically spitting her name out like a bite of rancid food.

  Still confused, he shook his head like what I said couldn’t be what I meant. “Why? What would he bring her here for?”

  “They’re together, so now that his period of mourning is over, he’s moving her in to his townhouse. I expect we’re all going to be enjoying Sunday brunch on the patio this weekend.”

  Cayden finished eating and I readied him for a nap, but I could barely contain my anger over our new houseguest. Ryder took him into his arms to play for a little while, but I was in no mood for playtime. I kissed him on the forehead and tickled his nose with mine, like I did every time before I put him into his crib.

  “Sleep tight, Cayden. Sweet dreams.”

  I turned to leave, but Ryder caught me by the arm. “Serena, don’t go. We need to talk about this.”

  “Talk about what? I’m angry, and I don’t want to be like that in my son’s nursery, so I’m going to our room and when you and he are done, I’ll be there. Then we can talk.”

  The look on his face as I walked away told me he wasn’t any happier with having Kitty at t
he house than I was, but that did little to soothe my anger about the whole situation. I left him to play with our son and walked to our bedroom, fighting the urge to march right downstairs and give my father a piece of my mind about his new girlfriend and these new living arrangements.

  I couldn’t do that, though. Then he’d know how much it bothered me and he’d have won. It wasn’t much of a battle, for sure, but each one with him was worth the fight. Let him think I didn’t care about his little stunt to cause problems between Ryder and me.

  Every minute that passed made me seethe even more, so by the time Ryder came to the room nearly a half hour later, I had to curb my urge to lash out at him and not do exactly what my father hoped I would.

  He stopped me as I paced away from the door, wrapping his arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck. “She won’t be here for long. Once he’s gone, she’ll be gone too.”

  “I don’t care how long she’s here. I hate it. Do you know what it’s like to know you were with her and now she’s here in my house?” I asked as I tried to remain angry with his arms tenderly holding me to him.

  “He’s doing this to control us, Serena. Don’t let him. She means nothing to me,” he said softly in my ear.

  Turning in his hold, I looked into his eyes and saw the truth. She didn’t mean anything to him. I knew that. It was just the fact that she had been with him, even before I had. She knew him in a way I did, and I hated the idea of sharing that with her.

  “I can’t live like this, Ryder. He’s taunting me. Taunting us. He wants us to know he holds all the cards, and he’ll play them as he sees fit. He’s going to make sure you and she are put together as often as possible. I know him. This is some ploy to drive us apart.”

  “Nothing he can do can change that I love you and you love me. I’m your husband, and you’re my wife, Serena. It doesn’t matter who he moves in. His time is nearly over.”

  I knew what he meant and I wouldn’t shed a single tear when my father got what was coming to him courtesy of the FBI. “When?”

  “Tonight. It’s all set.”

  “Your eyes tell me you’re not sure. Have you changed your mind?”

  Ryder shook his head and then kissed me softly on the lips, lingering there a minute before he said, “I know what has to be done. I haven’t changed my mind.”

  “I love you. No matter what he tries, that won’t change, Ryder.”

  He pressed his forehead to mine and smiled. “Good, because I plan on sticking around for the rest of my life, and I plan on that life being good and long.”

  As he held me in his arms, I closed my eyes and exhaled, safe no matter what madness my father tried to force on us. His world was about to close in on him. His days of tormenting everyone around him were numbered.

  “I want you to stay safe, okay?” I whispered into Ryder’s shoulder. “You’ve got too much to live for.”

  Tilting my head back, he smiled. “I do. I’ve got the best wife in the world and a beautiful son she gave me. What else could a man ask for?”

  Even though I didn’t know for sure if I was pregnant or not, I pressed a kiss onto his lips and answered his question. “A second son or maybe a daughter?”

  For a moment, he just stared down into my eyes, like he was searching for the meaning of what I’d said, but then his eyes lit up with understanding. “Are you?”

  “I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have said anything until I do, but I wanted to make sure you knew you have a family that needs you. No matter what the FBI wants, we want to spend a lifetime with you.”

  His hands slid down over my belly and rested there. “Whether you are or not, I still have everything to live for. Don’t worry. I’m not planning on doing anything stupid. I’ll just get them what they want and then it’ll be over.”

  “Will it finally be over?”

  I wanted to believe him when he said that. I wanted to believe more than I’d ever believed in anything before that it would all be over soon and we’d be free.

  “It will. I just need you to trust me,” he said sweetly.

  As if I had a choice. I loved him too much to do anything else.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ryder

  I stood outside Robert’s office, my heart racing, and took a deep breath before I set into motion events that I’d have no control over once I stepped into that room. There was no turning back now. The second he let me in would be the one that signaled the end for him.

  Before I could even raise my hand to knock, he called out to me. “Taken to lurking outside doorways? You’ve been spending too much time around my daughter. Come in, Ryder.”

  I couldn’t help but smile as I walked in and stopped near the doorway. “I just wanted to see if you had some time to talk.”

  “Of course. Take a seat,” he said, gesturing toward the red leather chairs in front of his desk.

  Looking around the room, I saw two of his men in front of the bookcase and one standing near the window further down the wall. They needed to go for this to work.

  I turned back to face him. “Privately.”

  Robert cocked one eyebrow and grinned one of his crocodile smiles. “You remember being one of my men, Ryder. You can talk freely in front of them.”

  “It’s about Serena. I don’t want to talk in front of others about your daughter. I’m sure you don’t either.”

  For a moment, he looked like he might give me an argument about that, but then he simply shrugged and waved the men out of the room. They filed out as his men always did—silently and quickly—so in no time it was just the two of us.

  “So now will you sit, Ryder? Or are we that formal these days that you can’t even sit down with me anymore?”

  I sat down and worked to look as calm as I should, even as my heart was pounding like a jackhammer against my chest. Scrambling to think of what to say, I was surprised when he began talking first.

  “Now that we’re alone, what would you like to talk about concerning Serena?”

  Best to start with something that could get him talking, so I went in for the kill. “Serena is having a hard time dealing with Kitty living here now. I’m sure you can understand why.”

  Again, he arched his eyebrow. “Because you used to fuck her?”

  At my sides, I curled my hands into fists. We were sitting there talking about how his own daughter wasn’t comfortable with him bringing one of my exes to the house to live, and he had to act like that.

  Like a fucking pig.

  “She was a stripper who worked for you. Still does, I think. Right? We all worked for you doing some pretty terrible things.”

  Ignoring my comment about Kitty’s still dancing for him at the Red Velvet Room, he stood up and walked over to the bar. “Terrible things. Interesting. So now you have a conscience, son? After all you’ve done for me, now you think it was terrible? That’s my daughter’s influence, no doubt. Serena always did have a strange sense of propriety.”

  Staring straight ahead, I worked to keep focused, even as I wanted to take a much-deserved shot at him. “Having a child brought things into focus, I guess. I did what I did then, but I don’t think I could do that now.”

  I listened as he dropped one and then two ice cubes into his glass before pouring the bourbon and branch water into it. A quick swirl of them all and he turned around to walk back to his desk, but instead stopped next to where I sat.

  “Like killing all those people? Like Oliver, who you did all on your own? Or beating up all those men, again some who you did all on your own like that poor fuck up in West Virginia? Terrible indeed. It would be terrible if you had to answer for that horrible mistake you made with him, wouldn’t it, Ryder?”

  “Underground fighting sometimes gets ugly. You’d know that better than anyone else,” I answered flatly, sure he could hear my heart pounding as he hovered next to me.

  He was playing with me. I didn’t know if he suspected me of turning on him, but something was different with him now. Somet
hing about the way he saw me.

  “Are we going to take a walk down memory lane, son?” he said in a low voice, sending chills down my spine.

  I turned my head and looked up at him to see him watching me carefully. He wanted to unnerve me.

  The problem was he was succeeding and doing a damn good job at it. If he realized I was wearing a wire, he’d kill me. Of that, I was sure.

  “If that’s what you want, Robert,” I answered, my gaze never wavering from his.

  A slow smile spread across his face, and he slapped me on the back. “You’re a ballsy son of a bitch, son. A cocky, ballsy son of a bitch. Always have been since the first time I met you. No matter what, I appreciate that. It’s that kind of attitude that helps a man make it in this world.”

  I knew what he meant, and before Serena and Cayden, I would have agreed. In the ring, being cocky often meant the difference between getting my hand raised at the end of the match and limping away bloody and beaten. But now that I had a family to care for and the possibility of another child coming soon, I didn’t want to be a cocky fuck anymore.

  At least not the kind Robert admired.

  “I’m just a father nowadays. I spend my days watching monitors for you and listening to Johnson talk about fish and my nights with Serena and Cayden. He doesn’t care if I’m cocky or not.”

  Robert returned to his seat and shook his head. “Sounds like you’re going soft, son. Are you really going to be happy just doing that for the rest of your life? Working all day at some boring job and playing house at night? I don’t think that’s who you are.”

  I had to bite my tongue because I wanted to tell him he had no fucking idea about who I really was. He’d created this person he’d wanted me to be before he ever met me. He wanted a son who followed in his footsteps and did what he’d never done.

  But I wasn’t that person. I’d never been him. I was just some fighter he found and brought home who fell hard for a girl. Everything else was all his creation.

 

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