“I was worried about you.”
“Why? I’m a big girl.” Ava laughed.
“I know, but you didn’t leave a note or anything. I came out of my shower thinking we were going to lunch and you were nowhere to be found. Windsor said you got a phone call and dashed out of here like a bat out of hell.”
“That girl needs to mind her own business,” Ava said.
“So where did you go?”
“Oh, here and there.” Ava fussed with the packages.
“Spending more money.”
“Look, I have something for you.”
“What?”
“I hope you like these,” Ava said as she handed Yancey an aqua Tiffany’s box.
“Ava, what is this?” Yancey took the box.
“Open it.”
Yancey removed the ribbon and opened the box to discover an Egyptian-style diamond-and-platinum tiara.
“Ooh, Ava, this is so beautiful.”
“You like it? I thought it would be perfect for the wedding. I talked to the lady who’s doing your wedding dress and she thought this would be great with the veil you’re wearing. Let me put it on you to see how it looks.”
Yancey turned her back toward Ava and released the ribbon in her hair and let it fall to her shoulders. Ava placed the tiara on her head.
“Go look at yourself. It looks stunning. You look like Miss America.”
Yancey went over to the mirror and admired the gift from her mother.
“Ava, you shouldn’t have done this. You’re going to make me cry.”
“Don’t start getting soft on me,” Ava said.
Yancey was touched and began to smile when the phone rang.
“You want me to get that?” Ava asked.
“No, that’s alright. I’m expecting a call from Basil,” Yancey said as she went over and picked up the phone.
“Hello.”
“Yancey?” It was Lois.
“Hey, Lois. I’ve been expecting your call.”
“I want you to know I’m not a happy camper. What kind of games are you playing?”
“What are you talking about?” Yancey asked. Lois had never talked to her in such an annoyed tone.
“I just got a call from Mr. De Niro’s agent.”
“When is my audition?”
“You’ve had your audition,” Lois said flatly.
“What are you talking about?”
“I called you today right before noon. Your mother said you were not available, but I told her that Mr. De Niro and Mr. Tillman were in town and wanted you to read. I told her how important it was and she promised to give you the information. The audition was set for two o’clock.”
“I didn’t get the message,” Yancey said. She turned and looked at Ava, whose back was toward her.
“So is that why your mother showed up at the audition?”
“She did what?” Yancey asked, her voice soaring to a shout.
“She sure did. Told them that I had sent her and even had nerve enough to try and talk them into letting her read. The role is for a lady in her late twenties, not forties. This is an embarrassment to me and my agency. I can’t have this. It makes me look like a fool in front of two major Hollywood players. I think it’s best that you and your mother find other representation immediately. Good luck with your career,” Lois said. Before Yancey could respond she heard the dial tone.
She screamed out Ava’s name so loud it startled both of them.
“What?”
“How could you do this to me?”
“Calm down, Yancey. I was just playing a little joke,” Ava said as she waved her hand with a dismissive gesture.
“A little joke? You think my career is a joke?”
“I’m sorry. It was just when Lois called and told me you had an audition with Robert De Niro, well, something just came over me. I have been in love with him ever since I saw him in that movie with Sheryl Lee Ralph, Mistress. It was so good and he is so fine. Looks even better in person, and you know he has a weakness for black women. Who knows when I might be looking for another husband?”
Yancey was unable to speak or even look at Ava’s face. She turned away to collect her thoughts, but then she whirled back around, her entire body shaking with rage.
“You’re not upset with me, are you? I told them how great you were. I might have helped you get the part,” Ava said with a slightly apologetic shrug.
“Get out of my house,” Yancey demanded in a loud voice.
“What did you say?”
“I said get out of my house,” Yancey repeated, pointing toward the door. Her eyes flooded instantly with tears.
“You can’t talk to me like that.”
“I’m not going to say it again. Get out of my house.”
“You can’t put me out of this house. My mother’s money paid for this place, and I will go when I damn well please,” Ava said. She sat down on the sofa and gave Yancey a look of pure contempt.
“Ava, please get out of here before I say something you don’t want to hear.”
“If you can dish it out then I can take it,” Ava said as she stood up and moved closer until she was standing a few inches from Yancey.
“Do you know I don’t have an agent now, thanks to you?”
“You said you were getting rid of her anyway. This just helps move the process along,” Ava said nonchalantly.
Yancey’s lips parted in disbelief as she asked, “Are you so insanely jealous of me that you are willing to ruin my career? Isn’t it enough that you’ve ruined my life?”
“Jealous of you? Honey, the only thing I’m jealous of is the simple fact that you haven’t let a lack of talent get in your way.”
“You evil bitch,” Yancey yelled, shoving Ava out of her way. Ava moved slightly to the left then hauled off and slapped Yancey so hard her ears rang.
“I should have done that a long time ago. Now you better pull yourself together ’cause you’ve got a wedding to get ready for,” Ava said. She grabbed her bags and coat and darted out of the apartment.
ONE hour and two glasses of champagne later, Yancey was being swallowed by her own private heart of darkness. Her heart held too many painful memories, which had spilled over with the sting of Ava’s hand. The lack of love Yancey received from her mother was like an open wound, but over the years she had developed a resolve so strong that she thought she could endure almost anything. Even a slap.
Yancey was lying on her back on the sofa, holding one of the pillows over her chest as if it were a treasured stuffed animal. The room was dimly lit with scented candles and a thin slice of light coming from the foyer bathroom. The phone rang constantly, but Yancey assumed it was Ava and finally unplugged it in the living room and kitchen. She was just about to get up and refresh her drink when she heard the key turn in the door. A few seconds later, Windsor walked in, turned on the foyer lights and then the living room lamp on the sofa table.
The lights startled Yancey. She sat up and screamed, “Turn out those damn lights!” Windsor didn’t acknowledge Yancey’s command. She was walking toward her bedroom when Yancey shouted again, “Didn’t you hear me?”
Windsor turned around slowly and said, “I heard you the first time, Yancey, but before I answer you, why don’t you answer a question for me.”
Yancey, a puzzled look on her face, asked, “What?”
Without missing a beat, Windsor asked, “Why are you such a bitch?” She had indulged Yancey’s evil diva behavior patiently during the time they had been roommates, but after spending the evening at Hale House, she was in no mood for an adult acting like a child.
“What did you say?” Yancey said, standing up.
“You heard me. Why are you such a bitch?”
“You can’t talk to me like that. I’ll kick you out onto the streets,” Yancey said.
“My lease doesn’t end until the fifteenth of January, remember? And if you try and kick me out, then I promise you’ll regret it,” Windsor said boldly.
“This isn’t about me and my faith. This is about why you are so unhappy. You’re getting married in a couple of days, you’re famous, and I don’t think you realize how blessed you are.”
“You don’t know nothing about my life.”
“Then tell me, especially if it will explain why you’re so unhappy.”
Yancey was silent for a few minutes, and Windsor didn’t move. When she started toward her room, Yancey asked, “Do you really want to know?” Her voice had softened.
“I’m here for you, Yancey. I’ve always offered you my friendship.”
“I don’t need friends, especially female friends.”
“Why? So you can sit up here in the dark and feel sorry for yourself?”
“Because they’ve never liked me. They’re always jealous of me, even my mother.”
“I’m not jealous of you. Why do you think your mother envies you?” Windsor asked softly.
“She just does,” Yancey said, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Windsor noticed the tears and moved close to Yancey to put her arms around her. The simple gesture was powerful, and Yancey started crying so hard that her chin was quivering.
“That’s alright, get it out,” Windsor said as she held Yancey tightly and gently brushed her hair with her hand. After a few minutes Yancey’s crying stopped, and they sat quietly on the sofa. While wiping her eyes with an open hand, she told Windsor about Ava’s afternoon escapade and betrayal. Her voice cracked as she said, “Ava has always been more concerned about herself. She has never been a mother to me, and now that her career is over she wants to ruin mine.”
“Do you really believe that? Mothers just want what’s best for their children. Just think about all the money she’s spending on your wedding,” Windsor said.
“Money means nothing to her. When she runs out, she goes out and finds another rich guy. I have spent my entire life feeling like I wasn’t even good enough to be worthy of my mother’s love. She always had a way of letting me know her career, friends, and husbands were more important than me,” Yancey said, moving herself into a lotus position. For the next thirty minutes she told Windsor about the countless times during her childhood and young adult life when Ava had disappointed her. The hundreds of school plays Ava had promised to attend, but then only sent a card or a new dress. Windsor listened intently with intelligent eyes filled with both sorrow and concern.
“I have always tried to earn her love. I have done horrible things to people as a way of showing Ava I was like her, that I could deserve her love. But the only thing she’s tried to offer me is friendship. I need a mother,” Yancey cried.
“Have you tried telling her that?”
“She won’t listen and maybe it’s too late.”
“It’s never too late. You’re getting married and it should be the happiest day of your life. You’re going to need your mother with you.”
“Don’t even get me started on my wedding. Somehow I’ve let Ava mess this up for me as well,” Yancey said.
“What are you talking about?”
Yancey told Windsor that Ava had discovered some terrible truths about Basil’s past.
“But how do you know what she’s telling you is true?”
“I know. Ava had proof.”
“But Basil loves you.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’ve been in love and I’ve been around love all my life. My parents are more in love today than when they first started dating, and that was over forty-five years ago. That look I see in my daddy’s eyes, well, that’s the look I’ve seen in Basil’s eyes when I’ve been around you two.”
“You really think so? I’m beginning to believe I can’t trust anyone,” Yancey said softly. Her eyes looked like they were pleading for a chance to explain all the pain they had seen.
Windsor took Yancey’s hands and placed them in her own, then said, “You can trust me. I’m your friend.”
“Are you really?” Yancey pleaded.
“Yes, Yancey, I’d love to be your friend. Everybody needs a friend.”
“But I’ve been so mean to you.”
“Now I understand why. We can forget about the past.”
“So you’ll be my first best friend?” Yancey asked, her eyes beginning to fill with tears once again.
“If you’ll let me,” Windsor said, and with her arms surrounded Yancey with a calming warmth that felt like magic.
46
AFTER LISTENING to Yancey’s recording I spent a couple of days alone, away from the rest of the world. There were some things that made me particularly mad, like Yancey and Ava thinking they could run a game on me. There were some things that made me really sad, like Yancey assuming that I was probably molesting Cade. I would rather have her call me a cocksucker to my face on national television and then spit on me than have her say what she said.
I had to block her words out of my head. I spent most of my time listening to music and rearranging my CDs, underwear, and socks. I made a few calls to clients and some dudes I’m still looking to sign. I made copies of the Yancey recordings. I wasn’t quite sure why I did that, but maybe they would come in handy later. I talked to Kendra about a trip I had scheduled to Wisconsin. At first I started to cancel the trip, but I figured work would take my mind off my problems. I spent an evening with Nico and Brison at Scores, an upscale tittie bar we sometimes took clients to. I didn’t let them know my wedding wasn’t going to happen. I behaved as if everything was the way it was supposed to be. Yancey the great actress called every day, but I managed to return the calls when I knew she wouldn’t be available. I don’t know what I would have done if I actually spoke with her, since I was still hotter than chicken grease.
I also spent a great deal of time painting possible scenarios in my mind about getting back at Yancey and Ava. I didn’t come up with anything but I will, because the old Basil has returned. I needed a woman in my life like a dead man needs a casket. But I ain’t never gonna be an if loving you is wrong I don’t wanna be right kind of niggah.
IT was a dazzling winter evening in Chicago, with an endless blue sky dotted with clouds and stars. I had stopped in Chicago to celebrate signing another top player from the University of Wisconsin. Besides, I didn’t feel any strong desire to be back in New York. I checked into a downtown hotel and called Zurich to see how he was doing with his solo business and to gloat about my new client.
We met for dinner at the Capital Grille, an upscale steakhouse right next to my hotel. Zurich had invited me to dinner at his home, telling me what a great cook his grandmother was, but I didn’t want to spend the evening with the dude and his grandmother, no matter how good a cook she was.
Zurich and I both enjoyed an excellent piece of prime rib with baked potatoes and spinach. I had a couple of glasses of burgundy while Zurich had iced tea. We talked about the recent rash of pro football players getting in trouble over women, and about the upcoming bowl season. As we left the restaurant I turned to Zurich and asked, “Would you like to come up to my suite? I’m enjoying our conversation and there is something personal I’d like to talk with you about.”
Zurich smiled and said, “Sure, I got a little time.”
I think I invited Zurich over because I didn’t want to do something stupid like calling an escort service for a little after-dinner piece of ass. I was, after all, a free man once again. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t told Yancey yet. I knew of a service in Chicago I had used once when I was doing games for ESPN. They had told me they had a really hot guy who was a dead ringer for Derek Jeter. I had gotten all excited, took a long bath, and put on some of my fancy silk draws. When the bell rang, I answered the door with my jimmie already rock-hard. But the dude standing at the door was so ugly, like a human Tweety Bird with yellow teeth, that it was as if somebody had massag
ed my jimmie with an ice cube. I didn’t say shit to him as I slammed the door in his face. I was so mad I started to tip off the Chicago police about the agency, but changed my mind.
Zurich and I walked the long block to my hotel in silence, gazing at the Christmas trees, which looked as if they were winking at me and knew what I had on my mind. When we got back to the hotel he stepped back in a gracious manner and motioned for me to go through the revolving door first. It made me feel like he was treating me like a bitch, so I insisted that he go first and smiled at him playfully.
We walked into my suite and were greeted by gentle classical music. I offered Zurich a canned iced tea from the mini bar and excused myself to change clothes. I put on my nut-hugging black jeans with knife-blade creases, and a turtleneck the color of flaming coals.
I walked back into the living area barefoot and saw Zurich looking out of the large picture window.
“Chicago is a beautiful city, isn’t it?” Zurich asked as he turned around with a smile full of teeth as white as a Caribbean cloud. Dressed in gray wool crepe pants and a white cotton oxford shirt, he was looking good.
“It’s alright,” I said, as I pulled a beer from the mini bar.
“Did I mention I was taking some classes at Northwestern’s Law School?”
“Man, you’re gonna have more degrees than a thermometer. Where do you find the time to run a business and go to school?”
“I go to bed early and I get up even earlier.”
“Dude, I’d tip my hat to you, if I wore hats,” I teased.
“So, what do you want to talk about?” Zurich asked.
His direct question caught me off-guard, so I tried to turn it back to him. “How’s your love life?”
“That’s what you want to talk to me about?”
“Naw. When is that article going to run? I’ve been looking for it.”
“I don’t know. One of the guys pulled out and threatened some legal action, even though my friend had the entire interview on tape.”
“Are you still happy you did it?”
“Yeah, especially if it’s going to help somebody.” Zurich turned from the window to me and asked, “So when is the big wedding?”
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