‘There I am inclined to believe him. He did smoke out Oswy, the old fraud. And not before time. For that alone, I would be happy to kiss his feet.’
‘You and Oswy the Blount have been at loggerheads for years.’
‘I am honest and he is less so.’ Gode rolled her eyes. ‘He promised my sister much and left her with little.’
Alwynn pressed her lips together. She had heard the story of Gode’s younger sister being left at the altar since she was a girl. And Oswy told another tale. ‘Away with you. You should allow the past to stay there.’
‘As you do, my lady? I haven’t heard you singing in a long time, but I could almost swear I heard a hum emerge from your lips earlier today.’
‘Now your hearing is going.’
Her old nurse’s eyes narrowed. ‘Your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are brighter. Who made them that way?’
‘Honestly, you are worse than Merri. I’ve no time for such things. I have an estate to run. Save your tales for the children and the kitchen maids.’
‘How is a tale going to come true if you won’t believe in it?’
Alwynn bent down and picked up a handful of dirt. ‘This is what I believe in—the land and my responsibility towards Merri and my people. Nothing else matters.’
‘The trouble with you, my lady, is that you are only going through the motions of living. What your husband did to you was awful, but allowing him to kill your spirit is worse. Stop being afraid to live, really live.’
‘I’ve no idea what you are talking about, Gode.’ Alwynn picked up her pace. Theodbald’s death had opened her eyes to real life. This was real life. ‘Once the estate is saved, there will be time for other things.’
* * *
Alwynn’s mouth tasted of lush promise—sunlit hills and blue skies. Her body was soft and yielding beneath his. Her skin was smooth and tender. It was as close to paradise as he had ever come or was ever likely to come. He knew and he also knew he wanted more.
He cupped her face beneath his hands.
‘Who are you, Valdar?’ she whispered. ‘Before we go further, I need to know.’
He knew he had to tell the truth before anything happened between them.
‘I’m from the North,’ he whispered against her lips. ‘And I want to love you. I want to do right by you. Let me.’
Instantly the dream changed. Her cry echoed in his ears and she dissolved into nothingness. He looked at his hands and they were covered in blood.
A circle of people grew around him. He recognised the faces of dead comrades. They drew back and Horik appeared, hollow-eyed with torn flesh, accusing him of neglecting his duty, of not honouring him. Of allowing Girmir to go unpunished while he was forbidden from entering Valhal. People must know his story and the truth about Girmir and how he behaved.
Valdar woke with sweat pouring from every part of his body. The message from the dream was very clear. He had to avenge Horik. He had to return to Raumerike and confront Girmir.
And yet, he found it impossible to erase the sensation of Alwynn’s lips and her body against his. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face and remembered how her body had melted into his for an instant.
One summer was all he asked of the gods so he could honour the life debt he owed her.
The only hope was to work hard until he fell into a dreamless and exhausted sleep.
Chapter Seven
‘Are you ready to show me the estate or is now not a good time? You seem to have made all sorts of excuses.’ Valdar’s low voice startled Alwynn as she tried to sort out the various wool sacks several days later. Ever since her confrontation with Gode, Alwynn had been reluctant to return to see how Valdar was doing. Instead she had sent orders via Merri and other farm workers about the rethatching of the hut and the clearing of the barn nearest Gode’s cottage.
‘Excuses? I’ve been busy sorting out the return of the betrothal presents. Merri has kept me informed of your progress.’
Besides learning about his progress on the estate, it was clear from the reports that Merri was suffering from an advanced case of hero worship. No one could look that good or accomplish that much in a short space of time. There had to be a flaw in Valdar. Heroes only existed in tales told around the fire on a winter’s eve. And if she started to believe otherwise, she would go back to being the same naive woman who had blindly married Theodbald.
She risked a glance at Valdar, who was dressed in clothes which had belonged to her late husband. Although they were about the same height, Theodbald had never filled them out in the same way. The tunic drew attention to Valdar’s broad shoulders and the narrowness of his waist. His Frankish sword hung at his side. One glance told her that he was a warrior, but she also remembered the man who begged her to kiss him in the middle of the night.
‘I hadn’t expected to see you today. Merri said that you were going to inspect the manor farm’s cattle.’ She made a nervous gesture and sent a stack of spindle whorls tumbling to the ground. She pressed her lips together. ‘Clumsiness is not becoming in a lady...’ she stuttered out.
She stooped to pick them up, but he was there before her, returning them to the wooden box. ‘Maybe you are a person who things happen to.’
Their fingers touched. Her entire being tingled with an awareness of him. She instantly withdrew her hand.
As she did so, she caught a look in his deep brown eyes which stole her breath away. She wondered that she ever thought them just brown. There were flecks of gold, green and deep brown, all swirling together. And then there was the shape of his mouth. It begged to be tasted.
Her heart pounded in her ears and her lips parted softly. She wanted to lean forward. She wanted to feel his skin against her fingertips.
The sound of a dog barking and Merri’s laughter jolted her back to reality. She retreated two steps.
Silently Alwynn cursed her dreams from the past two nights and Gode’s outrageous suggestion that somehow she hadn’t been to blame for the utter failure of her marriage. If she wasn’t careful, soon she’d start believing in impossible things like the thirteen treasures of Britain again.
She made a show of straightening her kerchief and tucking all the escaping tendrils away.
‘Shall I put these here?’
‘They belong over there. I like things to be tidy and organised.’ Alwynn pointed to a shelf behind her, noticing that her cheeks had suddenly become hot. She hoped that he would put the heightened colour down to working in this stuffy room.
He crossed a bit too close and she was aware of the power in his shoulders and how his body had felt against hers when she had helped him from the beach. And yet he carried the spinning whorls as delicately as if they had been precious glass.
After he had put the bag of whorls on the shelf, he turned back to her with an expectant expression. Belatedly she realised that she had been staring.
‘Are you sure you’re up to it? Going around the estate, I mean?’ She winced as the words left her mouth. They made her sound far too breathless.
‘My powers of recovery have always been remarkable. Kara...’ He stopped. ‘Others have commented on them.’
‘Kara? That was the healer? Yes?’ Her insides twisted. The woman he’d thought she was when he kissed her so passionately. Kissed her as if he’d meant it.
‘I mentioned her to you?’
‘The first day...’ Alwynn gulped. She could hardly confess about the kiss she’d given him.
‘Ah. I see. I wasn’t myself.’ He inclined his head. ‘I apologise.’
For what? For kissing her? For not remembering? Alwynn glanced everywhere but at his face. Finally she cleared her throat to break the silence.
‘Anyway, how do I know you won’t collapse?’ she asked and fixed him with a stare.
‘I laid a new thatched roof yesterday without difficulty.’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘Even if I wasn’t fully fit, I would say I was in order to prevent Gode from insisting on another poultice. The stench turns my
stomach.’
‘Gode knows what she is about. She might not be able to grow herbs as well as I can, but she knows their uses.’
‘I will take your word for it.’ He lowered his voice. ‘And I am fresh out of adventure tales for your stepdaughter.’
‘Merri needs to concentrate on improving her weaving and learning how to spin without breaking the thread. She knows enough tales for two lifetimes. She even believes the thirteen treasures of Britain exist, from Diwrnach the Giant’s magic cauldron to Drynwyn the sword.’
‘She swears she no longer needs Clydno Eiddyn’s halter as she has the horse she most desires.’
Alwynn shook her head. ‘You try very hard to keep children from being disappointed, but one day she will be. And it will be worse if you keep stuffing her head full of new tales.’
‘Tales can sustain you when times are hard.’
‘Tales can blind you to reality.’
He caught her elbow. ‘Is that what happened to you? Why did you stop believing?’
‘I grew up.’ She pulled away from him. ‘We can do a quick tour of the hall and I will introduce you to the servants. Not many needed now.’ She gave an artless wave of her hand and hoped he wouldn’t hear the pain in her voice. ‘I lost the hall. The king decided that he would be better served by Lord Edwin controlling the maenorship. And the maerdref became his.’
‘Why didn’t your late husband ensure you were looked after? Or is it the custom in Northumbria not to look after widows?’
Alwynn opened her mouth to give a polite lie, but then she noticed his expression. ‘There were debts,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know how many until he died. But they are paid now. I am hopeful that Merri will have a decent dowry when the time comes. She is the closest thing to a child that I will ever have.’
‘And all this is for Lady Merewynn’s dowry?’ He waved his hand towards the sacks of wool.
‘It is early payment for the quarter rent on the various hides.’ She gave a feeble laugh. ‘Goodness knows what Merri said about you or how Oswald twisted it. But suddenly the farmers are paying their portion before time. And thus far, they refuse to take it back.’
‘Or maybe they want to ensure that they stay in favour with a good landowner,’ Valdar said quietly. ‘Because they have seen what Lord Edwin can be like. I have been listening as well as telling tales to Merri. Gode knows what is happening in the area.’
Alwynn gave him a sharp look as she beat down the fierce sudden hope which sprang within her. Could the explanation for all the early rents be tenants expressing their relief that she intended on staying rather than their fear of Valdar’s wrath? ‘What do you mean?’
‘Fear will only get you so far. Maybe they wanted a sign to prove you intended to stick around. You had not bothered to replace the steward, yet a steward is necessary to run an estate when the landowner is away or unable to collect the debts. In these dangerous times tenants look to men with swords for protection.’
Alwynn ran her hand through the nearest sack of wool. Valdar had a point. Certainly Edwin had not bothered staying. He and his men had left two mornings ago with banners fluttering in the wind and the sacks of wool had started arriving soon after that. ‘Why would you say that?’
‘They know nothing about me or my reputation.’
‘Do you have a ruthless reputation?’
His face became shadowed and hardened to planes of granite. When he looked like that, Alwynn had to wonder how many battles he had seen. Who did he fight for? Who was Raumerike aligned with? ‘If I do, would I share it with you?’
‘You will not behave ruthlessly with my people! They are finally free of one oppressor.’
‘Your late husband?’
‘He disliked anyone crossing him,’ she admitted.
A tiny smile tugged at his mouth. ‘Are you so ready to believe the worst of me? Is it because of your husband?’
Alwynn hugged her arms about her waist. How to admit that she’d turned a blind eye for so many years? And that she’d kept giving excuses because she’d thought he loved his daughter and was doing his best for them as a family? It was only after Theodbald’s death that she even realised what sort of cruel man he’d been. ‘I know little of you, but I suspect that you are not afraid to use your sword.’
‘Knowing how to use a sword doesn’t make a man a brute.’ He tapped his heart. ‘What makes a man is within here. Without a code, all men become like the animals. A man must keep to his code or he risks losing everything.’
Alwynn wished she could take the pain from him. Whatever had happened to make him jump off that ship must have been something truly terrible. And she knew deep within her that he had not abandoned his friends.
‘You are alone in the world?’ she asked instead.
‘I have nephews and a sister-in-law, who pokes her nose far too often into my business. However, she says that she runs it better than I do.’
‘Do you have a large estate?’
A muscle jumped in his jaw. ‘A reasonable size. My father ensured it. I do know how to run an estate, my lady.’
Alwynn stared at him. Merri’s proclamation that he was an atheling was maybe not so far off the mark. ‘You are a prince, then, in your country?’
She watched the shutters come down on his face. A tiny pang went in her heart. She much preferred his face when it showed warmth. Whatever his past was, he wanted to keep it from her. She concentrated on a spot behind his head. That was fine with her. She understood about secrets. There were some things about her past that she wanted to keep hidden.
‘Nothing like that,’ he said before she could make a meaningless comment about what needed to be done next. ‘I farm, I trade and I serve my king when called on. I leave the politics to someone else.’
‘If Raumerike’s politics are anything like Northumbria’s, you are wise.’
‘I had my fingers burnt once,’ he admitted with a shrug.
She released a breath. The moment of danger had vanished.
‘Is that why you were on the voyage? Because of her? Because of the healer you knew?’ The words spilled from her like a sore that she couldn’t stop picking. This Kara person should make no difference to her, but she hated that the woman had some sort of hold over him, that in his mind he had been kissing that woman instead of her that first night. ‘My apologies. You don’t need to answer that. None of my business.’
He picked up a whorl and tossed it in the air before neatly catching it.
‘Partly.’ His voice was barely louder than a whisper but gathered strength as he went on. ‘We needed new markets. Our traditional ones are being closed down. But I wanted to go. It was harder than I thought seeing her happiness and knowing that it had nothing to do with me. I was happy for her. There was just an ache inside me which would not go away.’
‘Did you find any new markets?’ she asked when she trusted her voice.
‘A very poor voyage, but the crew should return home and report my death. My sister-in-law knows what is to happen. There will be no reason for her to fear for her estates.’
‘But once you return, they’ll know you’re alive.’
His face broke out into a heart-stopping smile which tugged at a place deep within her. She wished that there wasn’t this attraction between them.
‘Yes, they will. Everyone will.’
‘That pleases you?’
His smile widened, but his eyes became remote. ‘I will be able to find out if there was a gnashing or wailing at my funeral. Who sang the lament. Who fainted.’
‘How like a man! Do you expect it?’
He looked at her, all humour vanished from his face as if it had never been. ‘Who would weep for me?’
She put a hand on his shoulder and felt the hard muscles shift under her fingertips. ‘Someone will. Someone always does if you have a good heart.’
He blinked twice. ‘And you think I have one?’
‘I’m sure you do.’ Alwynn knew as the words tumbled from her throa
t, she spoke the truth. He did have a good heart and probably had not deserved whatever had caused him to separate from his crew.
‘Thank you for believing in me, even though you are a healthy sceptic.’
‘It is an instinct I have.’ She gestured towards the door. ‘Let’s begin the tour of the hall so you can begin work properly now you have recovered.’
He bowed low. ‘I’m grateful for the trust you put in me. I won’t abuse it.’
‘That is good to know.’
Valdar followed her out of the storeroom. He had thought the pull she exerted over him would go once he had healed and become strong again, but seeing her just now, he had wanted to take her into his arms. It was as if Kara had never existed. The great aching hole he had carried around for so long had vanished as if it had never been. He wanted to believe that the curse had indeed lost its power as his brother had claimed.
* * *
He listened with half an ear as they toured the estate and Alwynn pointed out various parts of the land and storehouses. It was obvious that Alwynn was trying hard. There were a couple of things he’d organise differently, but on the whole she was very capable. At last he could understand why she was reluctant to hire a steward.
‘If you will follow me, I will show where I keep the ledgers.’
Alwynn’s words jolted him back to the present and his own precarious situation. Ledgers. She expected him to be able to write and read. He had no problems with runes, but Northumbrians used an entirely different script.
By the time he caught up with her, she had gone into the small steward’s room. It had a variety of inkstands and rolls of parchment strewn about. A bit of candle stood in one corner. Alwynn went over and opened the shutter, allowing the sunlight to filter in.
‘We should start with the latest rolls, so you get an idea of how the records are kept. The method is quite straightforward. I am sure you will pick it up in next to no time.’
‘I look forward to it.’
Summer of the Viking Page 10