by Dianne Drake
“It could have been something complicated like a deep-rooted jealousy left over from childhood—like he perceived you were the favored one, or something as simple as being hurt that his father knew you were following in his footsteps, but didn’t live long enough to know that Gavin was, too. It’s hard to say what caused him to do what he did, and speculating is a waste of time because we’ll never know. But the way you reacted…you said what you said because you were hurt. Gavin wouldn’t have held that against you. I mean, there aren’t rules governing a situation like that. But you rebuilt your life. Honorably. And in the end, even though you’ll never have the answers you want, you’ll have to make your life enough without those answers.”
“It is enough. More than I ever thought I’d have, and I’m happy. Probably happier than Gavin ever was, and I’m sorry for that. Truly, deeply sorry.”
Tears of pain trickled down her cheeks, and she swiped at them with the back of her hand. “The man I met had regrets, Neil. I saw that in him and I wish now I’d asked him.” Yet how could she have anticipated, then, how her future would be eternally entwined with Gavin’s? Or his brother’s? Or his son’s?
“Gavin and I, we’d agreed to meet. After months, I’d finally said yes, stipulating that the first meeting be on neutral ground somewhere other than White Elk. We’d have lunch, talk. We’d agreed to one step at a time. Gavin wanted to go faster, I wanted to be cautious. But we were going to sit down together and see if we could find a starting point.” He swallowed hard. “I didn’t know he changed his will to leave everything to the hospital pediatrics ward. He was atoning for what he’d done in the past, I think.”
“Yes, I think he was.”
“Even with all his faults, Gavin was a brilliant doctor. I would have liked to have heard his lecture in Chicago.”
“Would you like to read my notes of it?”
He nodded, but didn’t speak for a moment. Then, finally, “Gavin and I had a long way to go to make up. He said he understood that, and was willing to do whatever he had to. He was sincere, Gabrielle. I know he was sincere.”
“Because he was a changed man,” she said.
“Yes, I think he was. And I don’t suppose I would have known how much if you hadn’t…”
He cleared his throat and shut his eyes for a moment. Thinking. Processing. Trying to put it all together. The agony on his face was so strong it turned into her own agony. She could feel it. Feel the heavy burden he carried. If only there was something she could do, something more than listening. But maybe that’s what he needed most. Maybe letting him unburden himself was the only thing she could do to truly help. So she waited quietly until he was ready to speak again, hoping he could feel her silent support.
“Anyway,” he finally said, “Gavin wanted to see me and I had finally convinced myself it was a good thing. I wasn’t looking forward to it, although I wasn’t dreading it either. But I had a patient who went bad that morning and I couldn’t leave the hospital. So I called Gavin, told him we’d have to reschedule, and that I’d call him in a day or so to see what we could arrange. Well, Gavin was insistent. He said he was coming to White Elk to see me, that he was ready to do it, and he had things to say that couldn’t wait any longer. So he came to White Elk, and that’s when…when he was killed. Traffic accident right before he got to the valley.”
“Neil, I’m so sorry.” Gabby scooted to the edge of the bed, dropped her legs over the side, then leaned forward and took Neil’s hands in hers. “So sorry you two never had the chance to talk.” She couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to be involved in a relationship that needed resolution as badly as Neil’s and Gavin’s had, and never have that chance. When she’d lost her dad, everything had been said between them. No resolution was necessary, because they’d expressed their love, fought their fights and forgiven each other along the way. Even thinking that something between them could have gone unresolved made her feel sad. For Neil, for Gavin. And for Bryce, because he was very much a part of this.
But more than ever it made her realize that she and Neil had a situation to resolve between the two of them, and that they couldn’t let another day, another hour pass without saying all the things that needed saying.
“I know you can’t go back and change things, and I’m sure you thought, like most of us do, that you have all the time in the world to make things right. It’s just not like that, though. My little boy almost died yesterday, and that’s the first time I’ve really understood how precious and short time is. Gavin was a good man. I knew him differently than you did, saw him in a way you’ll never get to. But he was a good, kind man, and I have to think he learned from his mistakes and patterned himself after you. Because you’re a good, kind man, too. His older brother…the best kind of example. He knew that, and I truly believe that hurting you was what made him sad. So maybe you didn’t have enough time to make it right, but you would have, Neil. Given enough time, you two would have made up. He wanted to, and you wanted to.”
“Maybe we would have. But I’ll never know, will I?”
The truth was, he wouldn’t. And that wasn’t something she could fix. She could help him through it, though. Support him through the lows. If he would have her. If he would have Bryce. “I don’t want to leave White Elk, Neil. I want to stay there and raise my son there. And I want to be happy there. When I first arrived, I didn’t know what I wanted, or where I wanted to be. But I found everything…everything there, and I don’t want to leave it. But I can’t stay, if my being there makes you unhappy.”
“You could never make me unhappy, Gabrielle. I knew that the first time I saw you in the dining room, being so deliberate about picking out the right table so you could see what you wanted to see. I’ll admit I never expected to fall in love with someone quite so…”
“Pregnant?”
He chuckled. “That, too. But the word I’m looking for is perfect. Because you are.” He took hold of her hand and pulled it to his lips, then kissed it tenderly. “I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but you look beautiful when you’re not pregnant. Of course, you’re absolutely stunning when you’re pregnant. Any chance that could happen again?”
“And that would mean?” It was definitely time to get her hopes up. In fact, they were so far up they were floating.
“About fifty or sixty years, if we’re lucky.”
“And you’re good with Bryce being Gavin’s son? Because that’s something he’ll have to know when it’s time.”
“I’m already crazy in love with him, so I’m good,” he said. “As long as you let him call me Daddy.”
“Daddy suits you. But I can’t promise you other children, Neil. One was a miracle.” Gavin’s miracle to both Neil and her.
“One’s perfect. So are ten.”
“Ten?” she sputtered, slipping from the bed, going straight onto his lap and into his waiting arms. “You would want ten?”
“Or twelve. Or, like I said, one.”
As their lips met, Gabby thought about that day she’d first come to White Elk, amazed by what a perfect town it was. The place, from Ben Gault’s photos, that had stolen her heart. Her home, meant to be even before she’d recognized it. Yes, it was perfect. But not for the reasons she’d thought when she’d made the decision to spend a night there. White Elk was where her son had been born, where she’d met the man she’d love forever, where she’d found the dream of her heart. Those were the things that made it perfect. And made it home. “I love you, Dr Ranard,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder, happier than she’d ever thought was possible.
“And I love you, Dr Evans. Want to snuggle up?” He pointed to the bed.
“Right here? I mean, I just had a baby, and…”
He laughed. “Snuggle, Dr Evans. Only snuggle.”
“In that case, I’d love to snuggle with you, Dr Ranard. Every day, for the rest of my life.”
EPILOGUE
Six months later
“HE’S ga
ined another pound.” Neil picked up his son and held him high above his head, laughing. The adoption was final. Bryce Thierry Evans Ranard was his in every way and it was hard for either him or Gabby to imagine a time when this bouncing bundle of energy hadn’t been the center of their lives.
“Eric said he’s perfect. Everything checks out fine. Heart’s good, lungs sound. Normal in every way. Oh, and I ran into Angela. She was there at the clinic with her baby…”
“Sarah,” Gabby reminded him.
“With Sarah. Anyway, seeing Angela reminded me that we haven’t had our honeymoon yet. So I was thinking that if we could find a babysitter…”
Gabby arched skeptical eyebrows. “I’m sensing a definite plot here, Bryce. Your father is up to something.”
“I’m up to a short honeymoon,” Neil said. After Bryce’s second surgery, the three of them had settled in like a happy family, and the honeymoon had been forgotten. Tonight was the four-month anniversary of their marriage, though, and it was time for the two of them to get away. “And I’ve had a whole battalion of women volunteer to watch Bryce for a couple of days while we go up to Pine Ridge…couldn’t get the honeymoon suite, though. It was already reserved by someone else. But we’ll have a nice room anyway. Room service when we want it, lots of time alone…” Neil lowered Bryce, and looked him straight in the eye. “You may have to help me convince her,” he said, grinning.
She took Bryce away from Neil. “You tell your father that your mother would love to have a honeymoon with him.”
“Two whole nights,” Neil reminded her.
“Two wonderful nights,” she said, handing Bryce back to Neil, then picking up the bag she’d been hiding. “Shield his eyes,” she said.
“Why?”
“Because he’s too young to see this.”
“Don’t look, son,” he said, laughing, as Gabrielle pulled a black, filmy nightdress out and waved it.
“Oh, and I’m the one who reserved the honeymoon suite, by the way. Already had several people ready to take care of Bryce, too.” By all estimates, she had about another two months before her belly would start bulging again, and she wanted to take full advantage of that. Or, at least, two nights of it.
“Any chance we can stay away for a week?” he asked.
“With the way our medical practices are growing?” She waved the nightdress again, deliberately brushing it against his cheek. “Let’s be glad we can have two nights, then promise to do it again in another month. Maybe try out a honeymoon suite at a lodge on one of the other Sisters.”
“The practices are expanding, Bryce, because your mom-my’s a good doctor and women from everywhere are coming to see her.”
“That’s because your daddy turned his house on the hill into a women’s clinic and birthing center.” Her very own hospital, named The Three Sisters Women’s Hospital. The Three Sisters who did, indeed, look after the people in their valley.
She and Neil had bought a modest little cottage on the edge of town, a perfect spot from which they could see all Three Sisters. Somehow she felt connected to them, like they’d watched over Bryce and protected him the way the legend had it. Like they’d brought her here in the first place so they could do just that.
Bryce’s response was to gurgle out a baby bubble. Then laugh.
“But Mommy doesn’t want to talk medicine right now,” she said, tickling Neil’s other cheek with the nighty. He was the perfect father. Devoted. Caring. Best of all, he didn’t mind diaper duty. “But we will have to come home for a little while because Ben Gault is coming to town tomorrow afternoon. He’s going to do a family photo of us.” A family photo—her very own family. For her entire life, her family photo had been of two. But now, with three, then in a few more months with four…she still had to pinch herself sometimes to make sure it wasn’t a dream.
“Ben Gault is going to interrupt my honeymoon? Couldn’t we wait until he’s here again in a couple of months?”
“We could, but I’ll be showing.”
“Showing what?” he asked.
She smiled warmly, and patted her belly.
“No!” he gasped.
“Yes,” she whispered. “We might be on our way to the ten or twelve you wanted.”
He snatched the black nightdress away from Gabrielle and let it float to the floor. When it cascaded into a puddle at his feet, he smiled. “Well, then, I don’t think you’ll be needing this.”
She bent and picked it up, then dropped it back into the bag, gave Bryce a kiss on the forehead and Neil a deep, lingering kiss on the lips. Afterwards, breathlessly…“I think you’re right.”
ISBN: 978-1-4268-6113-0
NEWBORN NEEDS A DAD
First North American Publication 2010.
Copyright © 2010 by Dianne Despain
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