by Kaylee Ryan
“Yeah, I mean her mom helps, but other than that, it’s all Larissa.”
“Where’s the dad?” Fisher asks.
“Killed in the line of duty.”
“Fuck,” Drew mumbles under his breath.
“Yeah, she won’t ask for help, but she’s getting it.”
“Let us know if we can help.”
“Thanks, man. I’ll catch you guys later.” I grab my bag and head out to my truck. We were on the road this week for a seven-day stretch. This morning was a short team meeting and workout, and we’re off until our game on Sunday. It doesn’t take long to reach her place. When I walk up to the front door, I hear Paisley crying and Larissa telling her to go to her room. Quickly, I knock on the door, and it swings open a few minutes later to a frazzled Larissa.
“Hey,” she says, stepping back to let me in.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just trying to get things done. Paisley is wound for sound today.”
“I heard her crying.”
She sighs, her shoulder slumping in defeat. “Yeah, she insists on watching TV out here instead of in her room or mine, and she has to have it loud enough that I’m sure Mom can hear it at her place. I’ve had to repeatedly ask her to turn it down. I have a paper due by six tonight, and I need to concentrate.”
I open my arms and she walks into them. I hold her close, my mind racing as to what I can do to help. That’s when it hits me. “Go pack up your computer and whatever you need. You’re coming to my place. Sit out by the pool or use my office, the couch, whatever you need. Just go and get your work done. If you do it here, you’re just going to think about everything else on your list that you feel like you have to do today.”
“I’m fine here.”
“Nope. Go pack. I’m going to go get P, get her to pack some toys for later, but for now, she and I are going on a date.”
“A date?” she asks. Her eyes, although filled with stress, are just a little brighter at my words.
“A date,” I say again. “You’re going to go to my place and forget about work, about laundry, and whatever else you are worrying about in that pretty little head of yours. The fridge is stocked. You go and get your work done. When you’re finished, take a nap, take a swim, I don’t care. P and I will be on a date.”
“Easton,” she says, but I stop her from continuing by placing my finger over her lips.
“Let me do this. Let me take care of you. This is what you need, Ris. Time to think, to get caught up with school.”
“Just a couple of hours of focused time and I’ll be done.”
“Good. Then you can take the rest of the day for you. Relax, soak in the tub, read a book, go get a pedicure, whatever you want. I’ve got P. We’ll meet you back at my place later today.”
She opens her mouth then closes it again. When she finally finds her words, I’m shocked when she says, “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Kissing her temple, I whisper, “You’re never going to have to find out.” Releasing her, I head toward Paisley’s room. I find her on her bed with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. “What’s up, princess?”
“Mommy yelled at me.”
“She did?” I act as if I have no clue what’s going on.
“Yeah,” she says angrily.
“You know what?”
“What?”
“Mommy’s having a bad day. Do you ever have bad days?”
“Like when Gram says I can’t have more cookies and they’re so, so good?”
I fight my grin. “Yep. That makes you upset and causes you to have a bad day. Mommies have bad days too.” I sit on her bed. “I have an idea. Mommy is working really hard this week at her job, picking up shifts, and she has a lot of schoolwork. How about you and I go spend the day together. Let Mommy have the house all to herself. It will be nice and quiet so she can focus.”
“She told me to be quiet.”
I nod. “Sometimes when you’re really trying hard to concentrate on something, you need quiet.”
“Where are we going?”
“I’m not sure yet. Let’s get you a bag packed with some toys and a change of clothes, just in case. We’ll go have some fun and meet Mommy back at my house later today.”
“Can we swim?”
“Sure, P, just make sure you pack your bathing suit. Do you need any help?”
“Nope. I’m almost dis many.” She holds up five fingers.
“That’s right, you have a birthday coming up. Go get a bag packed. I’ll be in the living room talking to Mommy.”
“Okay!” she says excitedly, jumping off the bed. I watch her until I know she can reach her bag, which is located at the bottom of her closet, then leave her to pack.
“I take it she’s excited?” Larissa asks.
“She sure is. She’s packing a bag with toys, her swimsuit, and a change of clothes. You should do the same before you head to my place.”
She nods. “Thank you, Easton. I’m failing at mom life this week.”
“Hey.” I lift her chin with my index finger so I can look at her. “You’re not failing, baby. You’re stressed. You’ve put in a lot of hours this week, and school is hectic. It’s okay to ask for help. I’m here now. You don’t have to do this on your own.” Her answer is to stand on her tiptoes and press her lips to mine.
“Ready,” Paisley says, dragging her bag that’s stuffed full into the living room.
“Come here, P,” Larissa calls her over. “Mommy’s sorry for yelling. Will you forgive me?”
“East said you were so, so busy and needed quiet, so we’re going out,” she explains, as if the earlier incident never happened. This kid is a rock star.
“You be a good girl for East, okay?”
“I will.” She turns and places her hand in mine. “Ready?” she asks, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
“Ready.” I pick her up and place her on my hip. Grabbing her bag, I toss it over the opposite shoulder. “See you soon, Ris.” I kiss her lips quickly, which has Paisley saying, “Eww cooties,” making us both laugh.
With another round of hugs and goodbyes, I’m able to get Paisley strapped in her seat, and we’re on the road. “What do you want to do today?” I glance quickly in the rearview mirror.
“Umm.” She taps her index finger on her chin. “What do you want to do?”
“We can do anything. What do you do with your mom?”
“We usually go to the grocery store or the park. Sometimes we go shopping for clothes. We’re gonna go soon. Mommy says I need new shoes.”
“What kind of shoes?”
“The kind you tie. I don’t know how to tie them yet, but my other ones are so, so small they hurted my feet. I don’t need them until it gets cold,” she explains. Something I’m sure Larissa has said.
“Well then, how about we head to the mall and get you some shoes?”
“Okay,” she agrees. “Can we get a cookie from that place that smells so, so good. Sometimes Mommy and me stop there. We don’t always, but they are so, so good,” she says, trying to convince me.
What she doesn’t realize is that I need zero convincing. No way can I say no to her. “Cookies it is.” She fills the rest of the ride to the mall with chatter. She has one more game for her T-ball season and her birthday that’s coming up in two weeks.
“What do you want for your birthday?” I ask as I help her unbuckle her car seat.
“Lots of stuff.” She smiles as I place her on my hip. Sure, she can walk, but she won’t be this little forever.
“What kind of stuff?”
“I want an American girl doll. They look just like me, and we can get matching clothes and everything, but they costs lots of dollars. Oh, and Build-A-Bear. Mommy says one day we will go there, too.”
“What’s Build-A-Bear?”
“East, it’s so, so fun. You get to stuff your bear. You get to make it all by yourself and buy it clothes and stuff.”
“Where is this Bu
ild-A-Bear place?”
She laughs. “It’s here silly.”
“Well, all right then. First thing’s first, we get you shoes.”
“Mommy don’t buy my shoes here. We get them at the Walmarts.”
“Well, today we’re getting them from the mall.” My heart squeezes in my chest for this little girl and her amazing mother. Larissa busts her ass to take care of Paisley and I’m sure goes without herself. Not anymore. I want to take care of both of them. I want to make it so Larissa doesn’t have to work so hard, so that she can spend more time with her daughter. I want Paisley to have the toys that all the other kids have, the shoes that they have.
“Okay,” she agrees, none the wiser.
The first store we go into I lead her back to the little girls’ shoes, and she spots a pair of white Nikes with a pink swoosh. “Oh, those are really pretty,” she says.
“You like those?”
“Yeah,” she says, eyes wide.
“Can I help you, sir?” one of the store associates asks.
“Yes, we need to measure her to see what size she needs.”
“Sure thing.” He measures her foot, and we ask him for the pink Nikes in her size. “Here you go,” he says, handing me the box.
I place P on the stool and slip off her sandal. “Put this sock on while I get the laces ready.”
“Okay.” She takes the sock, and with a look of pure concentration on her face, she pulls it on her foot. “I did it,” she tells me.
“Great job, Princess. Now let’s try this shoe.” I put it on her foot and lace it up. “Can you walk that way for me so we can see how they feel?”
She nods, hops off the stool and walks up and down the row of shoes. “These are soft,” she says.
“You like them? We can keep looking.”
“No, I like these so, so much.”
“All right, come over here and let me see where your toe is.”
“East,” she giggles loudly, “my toes are in my shoes.” She laughs.
“Get over here, giggle box.” When she’s standing in front of me, I check her toes, and it’s right on. “Can we get these in a half size bigger?” I ask the sales assistant.
“Why we doing that?” she asks. “These ones fit.”
“Because you will grow between now and then. I want you to be able to wear them longer.”
“I’m getting so, so big. My birthday I’ll be this many.” She holds up her hand, showing me five fingers.
“I know. Five years old, you’re practically an old woman.”
“No, that’s Gram,” she says seriously. I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.
After we pay for the shoes, I stop at the mall directory and look for this Build-A-Bear place. It’s not too far down from the shoe store, so I head that way.
“You smell those cookies?” she asks me.
I smile down at her. “Sure do. How about we shop a little more, then grab some lunch? We’ll save the cookies for dessert.”
“Yay!” she cheers. “Can we take one to Mommy too?’
“Sure thing, princess.” We continue walking in the direction of the bear place when Paisley stops and looks up at me. “What’s up?” I ask her.
“Thank you so, so much for my shoes. I forgot to say that.”
“You’re welcome. Let’s go see what else we can get into. Let’s buy something for Mommy. You got any ideas?”
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think we should get her something she needs, like your shoes. Do you remember her saying anything that she would like to have?”
“Hmmm,” she says, thinking.
“Shoes or clothes, something for school?”
“She was yelling at her computer today when I was being loud. It did something to her homework.”
“What did it do?”
“She said it froze it. I don’t know how that happened because it wasn’t cold when I touched it, but then Mommy told me not to touch her computer. That it was on its last leg. I didn’t tell her this ’cause she was already sad, but computers don’t have legs. Not that I can see. Do computers have legs, East?” she asks.
“No, that’s an expression people use when something is about to break forever.”
“Oh,” her mouth forms an O.
Looking up, we just happen to be standing in front of an Apple store. I know Larissa has an iPhone, so this should work great. Twenty minutes later, we have a new computer, with a pink case, that Paisley picked out, in hand.
“Now what?” she asks.
“Well, I have a surprise for you. It’s this way,” With her hand in one of mine, and our purchases in the other, we head toward Build-A-Bear. When we stop outside the store, she shrieks.
“East! Can we go here, can we?”
“This is your surprise.”
“I love you,” she says, launching herself at my legs and wrapping her arms around them, squeezing me tightly.
I see a few patrons raise their cell phones to get pictures. Her shriek must have tipped them off. Either that or someone from one of the other stores must have put it on social media that I was here. Ignoring them, I guide Paisley into the store. “Okay, princess, let’s build that bear.” We spend a few hours building the perfect bear and picking out accessories. We opt to get cookies to go, and grab something for us to eat at my place. She’s exhausted and I get no arguments. Apparently, bear making makes you so, so tired. We make one more stop for some Bath & Body Works lotion and body spray for Larissa, then head home. We’re barely out of the lot before she’s fast asleep.
When Easton left with Paisley, all I wanted to do was sit around and cry. My laptop, which is as old as I am—well not really, but I bought it used and it was outdated then—keeps freezing up. It’s taking me more than double the time it should take to get these assignments in. To top it off, I yelled at my daughter and took my frustration out on her. I feel so damn guilty. I feel guilty that Easton has her for the day when I’m her mom. I should be able to handle this, but this week has been rough, and I just… lost it for a little bit.
Needing to get out of this house before I go stir crazy, I pack up my laptop and books, then pack a bag with my swimsuit, and some clothes. I throw in the essentials and something for Paisley as well. I know she packed her bag, but she’s four. It’s hard to tell what she put in that thing. At the time, I didn’t care. I just needed a break. I hate that feeling. I love my daughter more than life, but damn, it felt like the walls were starting to crumble. Easton showed up just when we needed him.
That brings me to now. I’m sitting at Easton’s dining room table, my laptop and books spread out, music playing on my phone, and a glass of wine in hand. I hesiatate before drinking it, knowing I need to drive us home later, but I know Easton will let us stay here, or drive us home. He’s solid and dependable, and everything I could want in a man. That made it easy to fall head over heels in love with him. Too bad I’m too big a chicken to tell him.
I hear the garage door open and decide it’s time for a break. My damn computer has been frozen in the same spot for the last fifteen minutes. I have to wait it out. Then I can type some more. Every time I save or get on the Internet while typing, it does this.
Standing, I meet them at the garage door. What I find melts my heart. Easton has a sleeping Paisley in his arms, rubbing her back as he carries her into the house.
“Hey, baby. You get any work done?” he whispers, taking P to the living room and laying her gently on the couch.
“Not really. Technical difficulties.”
“I heard about that. I think I have a solution.” He stops in front of me, bends and presses his lips to mine. “Be right back.” I watch him go back out to the garage, only to come back in with his arms full of bags.
“What is all that?”
“We went shopping.” He sets the bags on the opposite end of the dining room table from where I’m working. “This is for you.” He hands me a Bath & Body Works bag. “This i
s also for you.” He hands me a large bag from the Apple store.
“Easton?”
“I wanted to get you something that you’ve been needing to make things easier for you. P said you were yelling at your computer. She also said you mentioned it being on its last leg, but didn’t want to tell you computers don’t have legs because you were sad.” He smiles.
“This is too much.” This man with a heart of gold, how can I ever repay him for what he’s given us? Not the gifts, but the steady shoulder to lean on, the laughs, the hugs, the kisses. If I didn’t already, it would be impossible not to fall in love with him.
“It’s not. I told you, Larissa, I want to take care of you. I have the means to do these things. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I knew you were struggling, spending hours more than necessary because your computer was shit, and could afford to make it better? That’s what I’m doing.”
“You make our lives better. You don’t need to spend your money on us.”
“Noted, but I’m going to regardless.” He reaches out and cups my cheek. His thumb strokes gently. “I care about you, about both of you. I want to do this. I want to help.”
I can feal the tears building. “Thank you, I’ll pay you—” He cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine.
When he finally pulls away, his voice leaves no room for argument. “No, you will not. This was a gift to you. My girlfriend.” He hands me the bag again. “Now, open it and set it up, so you can kick this assignment’s ass. While you’re doing that, I’ll show you what else we bought.”
I sit back in my chair, box in hand and just stare at him. Is this really my life? He bought me a new computer.
“So, P said she needed some new shoes, but not until it gets colder. We went ahead and got her a pair. I made sure they fit then went a half size bigger in case her feet grow between now and then. I remember Mom doing that with my little sister, Pepper.”
“Easton,” I breathe his name as tears prick the back of my eyes.
“And this,” he ignores me, “this is for you. P and I thought that you would like something new that smelled good.” He grins pointing to the bag from Bath & Body Works.
“I got this, Mommy,” Paisley’s sleepy voice greets us.