Our diets, of course, are a totally personal choice, and I’m not here to judge anyone. I just believe the more mindful we become of what we put into our bodies, the more we will experience gratitude for our meals, and the more we will honor our bodies and the energy we bring into them.
Over the years I’ve opened my eyes to the dangers of the food industry. I would encourage you to watch the documentaries What the Health? and Forks Over Knives. I have also been guided by what I’ve learned from the Other Side. My advice would be for all of us to become more educated and more conscious of what we choose to eat, and why.
SLEEP
When our cellphones run out of battery power, we recharge them by plugging into a power source. That’s what happens when we sleep—we are not only letting our physical bodies rest and heal, but we are also plugging our souls into the energy of the Other Side.
We all have a deep soul connection to the Other Side, our true home. But our souls need to have this connection recharged and repowered. Sleep is when this happens. Sleep is an altered state of consciousness during which our brains aren’t bombarded by stimuli and our bodies are able to restore and replenish all our vital systems.
But sleep is also when we sync up with the Other Side. It’s when we have vibrant dreams full of symbolism and meaning—dreams that, as we’ve discussed, can carry signs from the Other Side. Sleep gives our Teams of Light an opportunity to impart the answers we need. Haven’t we all said, “Let me sleep on it”? We say this for a reason—because when we sleep, we plug into the Other Side, and our teams have an easier shot at sending us the signs and directional arrows we need to find our highest paths. Think about it. I bet there have been times when you’ve woken up with great clarity about an issue that was preoccupying you.
Sleep is also when dream visitations from our loved ones happen. That’s because sleep is when the filters of our brains are turned off, allowing direct connections to take place. These dream visitations are often powerful and vibrant. They feel like experiences rather than just dreams, and they stay with us long after we wake up.
So, as hard as it may be to do, be protective of your sleep. Try to get as much of it as you can. The National Sleep Foundation in Washington, D.C., suggests that adults sleep an average of seven to nine hours a day (down from the eight to ten hours that teenagers need). It’s a goal we’re not always going to achieve, but the closer we get to it, the better—especially if we want to shift our energy and become more receptive to the Other Side.
PRAYER
I have come to understand, through the many readings I have done and by witnessing and experiencing things on my own path, the incredible power and importance of prayer. Whenever we consciously direct our thoughts to the Other Side, that is prayer. And whenever we pray, the Other Side always—always—hears us. Prayer is an intimate conversation. We may pray individually or with others, aloud or silently, formally or informally. Prayer is not just reserved for places of worship. Prayer is always available to us, at all times of the day and night, whenever and wherever we are. It may be a quick, silent prayer for strength before facing a difficult situation; a prayer of hope or healing for a friend; a prayer to help gain clarity on a situation; or one of forgiveness. There is no right or wrong way to pray. It is an instant cord of light and connection that we may access at any time. And here’s the thing: It always strengthens us.
When I pray, I direct my thoughts to God energy—and also to my spirit guides and loved ones on the Other Side. The very act of prayer links you to something greater than yourself, linking you to a great chain of light and love and connection. In fact, often in readings, those on the Other Side will thank the sitter for the prayers they have sent. When we pray, it is a beautiful form of music to the Other Side. Praying strengthens us and connects us, always. So pray, and pray hard. And know that you are always heard.
MEDITATION
When I read for people, I slip into a state of stillness and inner awareness in which my own sense of self melts away and I listen to the Other Side. As I’ve noted throughout this book, you don’t need to be a psychic medium to enter this state of being. Anyone can access it via meditation.
Meditation is an exercise designed to help us reach a higher level of spiritual awareness. Another way to define it is slipping into a place where we can fully appreciate what is happening in the present and only in the present. Many, many studies have proven the benefits of practicing meditation in some form—it lowers stress, chases away depression, makes us less irritable and reactive, and improves the quality of sleep, to name just a few of the benefits. Other studies have shown that teaching schoolchildren how to meditate has a decidedly positive impact on their health and performance. His Holiness the Dalai Lama has said, “If every eight-year-old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.” That is quite a powerful statement from a very wise man.
In fact, one celebrity, Goldie Hawn, has embraced this idea. Her philanthropic program, Mindup, helps kids from pre-K to eighth grade learn how to meditate, both reducing stress and improving relationships at home.
Clearly, meditation can be a very beneficial practice, but I understand it can also be kind of intimidating. I hear a lot of people say, “Oh, I can’t meditate, because my mind wanders all over the place,” or “I don’t have time to meditate,” or “I don’t know how to meditate.” And certainly, long-form meditations are not for everyone. I once attended a three-day meditation and silence retreat, and honestly, I found it very challenging. I kept getting psychic and mediumistic downloads for the instructor and my fellow students.
But I have seen that a ten-minute meditation, or even a three-minute meditation, can have the same positive impact as a three-hour session. In fact, scientific studies have shown that a seven-minute meditation can be just as beneficial as a longer one. And these shorter meditations are the ones that align best with my energy.
So how do we meditate? Do we need to sit in the lotus position? Do we need a mantra? Do we need to chant?
No, no, and no. Meditating can be as simple as feeling our pulse with our finger, or focusing on our breathing. Meditating is about reflecting rather than reacting. It is about achieving and appreciating a moment of true mindfulness. It’s about being absolutely present. It’s about learning to be less triggered by our environment and more reflective. And we don’t need a lot of tricks or techniques to make that happen. Closing our eyes and being still and quiet and in the moment is, essentially, meditating. There is even something called a walking meditation where you literally walk throughout the whole meditation.
Of course, the deeper we get into it, the more powerful the benefits can be. We can get started by reading a book about meditation, or taking a beginner’s class, or downloading a meditation app.
One of my favorite meditations came from the great spiritual thought leader Deepak Chopra. A few years ago, he was a speaker at an event where I also gave a speech, and I watched as he led a roomful of six hundred seasoned and hardened professionals in a remarkable five-minute mediation. As I remember it, Deepak asked us to close our eyes, touch our thumbs to our forefingers, and focus on our breathing for a minute—deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. He then asked us to form a phrase in our minds: “I am [your first and last name] and I work as [your occupation].” He asked us to slowly repeat this phrase in our minds and focus on the way it served to identify who we are.
Then he asked us to repeat the phrase but leave out the final part and use only our first and last names: “I am ____ ____.” He asked us to be aware of how this, too, defined who we are.
Then he asked us to repeat this phrase but leave out our last name: “I am ____.”
Then he asked us to leave out our name altogether, and simply repeat “I am.”
Finally, he asked us to repeat just “I.”
An
d in this way, we all moved gently away from the trappings of our noisy, self-centered lives and toward a simpler and more elemental understanding of our place in the world—as beings of light and energy connected to all the other light and energy in the universe.
I was astonished both by the simplicity of Deepak’s meditation and by how powerful it was. Those five minutes shifted my energy in a very profound and lasting way. They changed how I approached the rest of the day and even the rest of the week. They also changed the entire collective energy of the room. Before the simple meditation, the energy had been charged and somewhat frenetic. But after five minutes of meditating, I could feel everyone’s energy flowing together collectively, like a giant wave lapping the floor.
Meditation is also our way of tuning in to and listening to the Other Side. Deepak Chopra described it this way: Prayer is when we direct our thoughts to God/the universe; meditation is when we listen back. It is not unusual to get downloads of information from the Other Side while meditating, because it creates a beautiful space for us to “listen back.”
That is the magic of meditation. It’s one of the most effective ways we can shift our energy, listen for messages from the universe and our Teams of Light, and live more meaningful lives. Making room and space in our days for meditation just may bring clarity and layer it with meaning, and in the process change our lives.
* * *
—
Being mindful of all of the concepts explored in this chapter can shift our energy dramatically. They are simple, practical methods that allow us to be more clear-minded, elevate our energy, and be more open to receiving messages from the Other Side. They are ways of acknowledging that we are all souls with bodies, comprising light and energy, and that restoring and replenishing this soul-body connection impacts the workings of our minds and, in turn, the choices we make.
I believe that the earth is a school, and we are all students. And I believe we are here to learn continually how to elevate ourselves, how to help other souls, and how to share our powerful light and energy with the world. We are all learning a collective lesson in love. The tools discussed in this chapter can help each of us shine our brightest light and be fully open to the connections to our Teams of Light, and to one another.
Being open to these lessons, and being open to the gentle directions of our Teams of Light, is how we become the very best version of ourselves.
31
SHINE ON
IF there is one theme that runs through all of the stories in this book, it is that we are all connected.
We all belong to the same beautiful tapestry of existence, and our lives are all woven together to create the magical experience of life.
None of us are alone, or solitary, or unimportant—we’re all part of something that is vastly bigger than ourselves but, at the same time, comprises each of our individual energies. We belong with one another and to one another. We are forever interconnected, and these connections are more awe inspiring and more powerful than we can even fathom.
In these pages, I have shared some examples of signs sent to us by the Other Side to convey this message of love and connectedness. But really, I could have shared a thousand more. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t hear about someone’s remarkable experience with a sign, or experience one myself. The signs are everywhere, every day. I can’t help but notice them.
What I would love is for us all, collectively, to start noticing and talking about the signs and messages we get—in order to celebrate, honor, and share the stories of connection with one another.
Sometimes, we do.
I have even found evidence of the secret language in the most unlikely of places: Twitter. I remember scrolling through my Twitter account one day and seeing proof of the secret language revealing itself in the feed of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
Producer Mike DiCenzo took to Twitter the day after Jimmy Fallon returned to the show, after taking time off when his mom, Gloria, had passed.
Jimmy had shared a special memory of his mom with the studio audience in the warm-up before the show taped. He recalled how, when he was a little boy, he and his mom had a secret code between them. “She would squeeze my hand three times and say ‘I love you,’ ” Jimmy said. “I would squeeze back, ‘I love you, too.’ Last week, I was in the hospital, and I grabbed her and squeezed her hand and said, ‘I love you.’ I just knew we were in trouble.”
On Twitter, his producer explained that the singer Taylor Swift had not been scheduled to appear on the show that night, but the crew wanted to do something special for Jimmy—and since Taylor had been in town doing Saturday Night Live, they asked if she would be a guest on the show.
“She said yes with zero hesitation,” DiCenzo tweeted.
On the show, Taylor decided to sing a song she’d never performed before, called “New Year’s Day.”
“Suddenly, she sings the line, ‘Squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi,” DiCenzo tweeted. “I nearly gasped. Tears. I think everyone in the audience started sobbing. I could see Jimmy silhouetted at his desk dabbing his eyes with a tissue. We all lost it. It was a beautiful coincidence in a beautiful performance. ‘Hold on to your memories, they will hold on to you,’ Taylor sang.”
When she was done singing, Taylor stepped away from the piano and into Jimmy’s arms, hugging him tightly.
Mike DiCenzo described Taylor’s song as a “beautiful coincidence.” But it wasn’t a coincidence at all, was it? It was the secret language of the universe revealing itself fully on national TV. It was Jimmy Fallon’s mother delivering a message of love to her son, letting him know that she was still with him, that she was still squeezing his hand—and encouraging him to hold on to his memories.
And she used Taylor Swift to do it.
How truly magical.
It’s not just on TV that you might see evidence of signs and the secret language. Sometimes you might find they are right next door.
Or at least that proved true for my sister, Christine, when her neighbor Kathleen called her one day to ask her to share a story with me.
Kathleen had read my book The Light Between Us, in which I first discussed how loved ones who have crossed can send us signs. Kathleen—whose mother had recently crossed—decided she wanted proof.
Kathleen’s Irish American parents had raised her in a large, loving home in the Bronx, and she was extremely close with her parents all her life. When her mother crossed last year, Kathleen struggled with her grief, especially on holidays, when the tradition had been for everyone in the family to get together. When Kathleen decided she was going to open her mind and heart to creating a new language of signs between her and her mother, she thought long and hard about what to ask for. And she came up with the perfect sign: Irish soda bread. Her mom used to bake Irish soda bread and hand it out to friends and neighbors.
Now here’s the thing—it was nowhere near St. Patrick’s Day, a time when you might be more likely to encounter Irish soda bread. Kathleen had given her mother quite a challenge. Would she be up for it? Would the secret language work?
That night, Kathleen was scrolling through her Facebook feed. Right there, in the middle of her feed, she saw a post from a neighbor, featuring a photo of something that looked very familiar.
Kathleen responded to the post and asked her neighbor, “Is that Irish soda bread? It looks delicious!”
“Yes, it is Irish soda bread!” her neighbor responded. “I’ll save you a piece!”
There it was! Her mother had managed to conjure up Irish soda bread, right on her computer screen! “I was in shock,” Kathleen says. “I was so impressed by what my mother had done to get through to me.”
The next day, Kathleen went out front to fetch her mail. She saw a box in her mailbox and opened it.
Inside the box was a big, beautiful piece of Irish soda bread.
“I hadn’t thought that my neighbor was actually going to send me a piece. I thought that was just an expression,” says Kathleen. “But sure enough, there it was, right in my mailbox.”
Kathleen went inside, sat down with her mother’s little Yorkie terrier (whom she took in after her mom passed), poured a cup of her mother’s favorite tea, and enjoyed the lovely piece of Irish soda bread. She knew what it meant. It meant her mother was still with her. She couldn’t doubt that now, because Kathleen’s mother didn’t just send a picture of or the words Irish soda bread as a sign. She delivered a piece right to Kathleen’s mailbox!
* * *
—
I love when others share their stories of signs with me. It can happen at any time—and it happened one night when my husband and I were out to dinner with our good friends Paul and Pam.
Their infant son, Griffin, tragically crossed more than twenty years ago. Still, I knew that Griffin remained a part of their family; he is always in their thoughts and hearts. Then Paul shared a story with us over dinner.
Right after Griffin’s crossing, Paul and his family had a service, and afterward came home to sit shiva—the traditional seven-day mourning period that is the Jewish custom. Paul noticed a praying mantis clinging directly to the kitchen screen door. Strangely, it seemed to almost be looking at him. He dismissed it, until he saw it in the same spot the following day, and the day after that, too. The praying mantis stayed with Paul and his family until the shiva period ended. And then, mysteriously, it vanished.
Signs Page 26