by Grady, D. R.
Ben grinned at the picture. “Let's see, that leaves Laurie. I'm obviously not doing this in any sort of order. Since Laurie is pregnant here, she's on the end. She's pregnant a lot. Laurie is like the earth mother. She cares about all children and will take care of any who cross her path. She's also the most athletic, and even though she has all those kids, she's thin.
“Probably from chasing so many kids. She'd rather be out running around with the kids than in the house. Greg, her husband, hired her a cleaning lady, who eventually moved in with them. She's a retired school nurse and loved the activity of the house. She rules the roost there. Which is good.”
“Laurie is the mother of Steve?” Mitch felt pretty sure Laurie and Greg were his buddy’s parents.
“Yeah, but Greg and Laurie have so many kids. They love kids, and each other, and they have difficulty keeping their hands off each other, so I imagine that's why they have eight.” Ben stared at the picture.
“Speaking of Laurie and Greg, I so can't believe Lainy has been behind the detour scenes,” Ben said, shifting gears. “I mean, don't get me wrong, I can believe it, I'm just astounded she finally got caught.”
“I take it she’s a legend?”
“Oh yeah. Or will be. I think we've all gotten hit by her at one time or another. Have you ever tried to make out with a woman in a walk-in linen closet?”
“I don't believe so,” Mitch said, thinking. Not that he wouldn’t be up for it sometime... with Lainy...
“Well, that in and of itself is a challenge. Add in various kids, someone said you called them the herd, which works well, especially when you throw in all their dogs. A small walk-in closet filled with kids and dogs while you're trying to kiss a woman just doesn't work.” Ben shook his head, but he was smiling.
“Your date wasn't impressed?” Mitch wanted to know. He might need this information some day.
“She thought it was hilarious. She giggled the whole time, which set off the rest of the crew and the dogs started barking. It was one of the funniest moments of my life. Which is so Lainy.” Humorous affection tinged Ben’s voice.
“Oh?”
“If a situation can be diffused with humor, Lainy's got it under control.”
“Lainy didn't like the woman you were with?”
“She loves the woman I was with, but calling her a woman then is probably not correct,” Ben mused, and Mitch lost him to memories.
“You were teenagers?”
“She was. I was about twenty-two or so at the time,” Ben replied, that far away look still on his face. Mitch envied him. He’d dated, but after too many heartaches, had joined the Marine Corps instead. His life had been much easier after that. Then he caught on to what Ben had said.
“She was a teenager and you were twenty-two?” Incredulous, Mitch wondered how he'd managed that.
“Yeah, she'd always had a bit of a crush on me, or so Lainy said, and I've always thought she's the cutest girl alive, and we were near the closet so in we went.”
“Is she family?”
“Sort of. She's one of Lainy's sisters-in-law little sister. She's probably not so little anymore.”
“Okay, so she's not blood related.” Mitch managed to work out. Keeping the Morrisons straight was a difficult process.
“Correct. Her sister is married to Will, Lainy's oldest brother. Rachel is Treeny's older sister. Rachel is Will's wife.”
“Treeny?”
“Yeah. It suits her. She's got all this red-gold hair with big bouncy curls. She's about average height but tiny. Curves in all the right places. She's smart, too. She’s a doctor.”
“Is Rachel a matchmaker?”
Suspicion etched into Ben's face as he pursed his lips. “You know, an hour ago I would have said no, but now I'm not so sure. She always fills me in on Treeny. Like how she's starting a new job, and such.”
“You, um, ever ask her about Treeny, or she just fills you in?” Mitch felt his lips twitch from the effort to keep from laughing.
“Okay, you got me there. I have asked about Treeny, but if I don't, she still tells me,” Ben said defensively.
Mitch howled. Ben reached over and shoved him off the cot, which didn't stop the laughter.
“Great, another matchmaker in the family,” Ben said in disgust which just set Mitch off again. He didn't know if Ben referred to him or Rachel, but realized he didn't care.
Chapter Twenty
Lainy watched as her message disappeared and something inside her flipped. Nauseatingly. Pressing a hand to her stomach she forced the rising bile down and rethought her sent e-mail. She wanted him to read it. She wanted him to respond. She needed him to understand the only reason she felt attractive and amazing was because of him. If he didn’t respond, it would kill her.
Her head landed on the arm stretched across her computer table. She didn't doubt Mitch would be kind to her heart. She didn't doubt he'd take care of anything she entrusted him with. Unless he was only being nice. When swallowing didn't work, she jumped to her feet and raced to the bathroom where she emptied the contents of her stomach.
*****
Ben and Mitch stayed up late talking and laughing. Mitch saw Ben off early the next morning. He shoved a huge cup of coffee into the SEAL’s hand.
“Not that I think you need this coffee, but I figure it'll make life a little easier,” he commented and then handed Ben a bag of cookies from his stash.
“Thanks, Mitch, and welcome to the family.” They shook hands.
“I appreciate all your family has done for me.”
“Not just my family, Mitch, but yours now, too,” Ben reminded him before hauling himself into the transport. The door slid shut and the vehicle rumbled away. Mitch returned to his quarters and lay on his bed. He'd wanted a family for most of his life. What would happen if they met him and decided he didn’t fit in?
He booted up his computer and checked e-mail.
When he saw Lainy’s he sent her a quick one word reply.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re:Subject: My self-esteem
>Hello Mitch,
>I don't date because the two times I did so I got really burned.>
Why?
Yours,
Mitch
Rolling off his bed, he picked up the newest DVDs and popped one in without looking at the title. He figured he'd surprise himself and watched a kitchen scene unfold.
Lainy stood at a cook top stirring something in a huge pot, surrounded by chaos. Several kids ran through the door at what seemed like a constant pace. The other adults in the room maneuvered around them with ease. Melly shredded lettuce at the sink, while what looked like Laurie's back did something at the counter. Greg, Laurie's husband, appeared to just get in the way. Lainy's grandmother grated cheese near the stove.
One little kid scrambled up the other side of the cook top where Lainy stood and peered into her pot.
“What is it?” Freckles stood out in stark relief to his pale skin and red hair.
“Eye of the newt, spider legs, lizard limbs, and various and sundry insects I collected from the window sills,” Lainy answered without hesitation.
“Cool. Wait till I tell the guys,” the kid chirped and dashed out, a baseball mitt flapping against his side.
“Looks like plain old spaghetti sauce to me,” her grandmother commented dryly from where she grated.
Lainy grinned and added more basil as she read from a book that lay open on the countertop.
“Aunt Lainy?” A girl about ten tentatively approached.
“Yes, Cassy?”
“What is that?” She pointed to the pot Lainy stirred.
“Grandmom Morrison's secret spaghetti sauce.” Lainy wiggled her brows. “Which means in another year, you'll own this recipe.”
“Oh. It doesn't have anything... disgusting, right?”
“Nope, remember, I have to eat this too.” Lainy added more spices to the sauce bubbling in front of her
.
“So, if you're eating it too we won't be poisoned?”
Lainy peered at her niece over the rims of her glasses. “I'm not your Uncle Tom, lovey.”
“No, but you're a Morrison, so...”
“Most of us can cook, it's just your uncles who won't try.”
“Okay.” The little girl seemed appeased and went on her way.
Mitch watched in fascination as one of Lainy's sisters-in-law joined her at the stove.
She held a huge pan in both hands and briskly filled the heavy looking beast with water. She turned the gas on beneath the pan. “So, Lainy, did you remember the meatballs this time?”
“Uh-huh.” She spooned up something and Mitch saw a lone ball on the spoon.
“There's more than one?”
“Of course there's more than one. Your husband and kids alone will eat us out of at least one bag of these things, Rachel,” Lainy reprimanded. She added something else to the pot.
“Excellent.” Rachel didn’t appear to be offended by Lainy's comment. Rachel. Sister to Ben's Treeny, he wondered?
One of Lainy's brother's ambled in, Tom, he thought, who looked a lot like Will, only smaller, and wearing a loud shirt.
“Okay, who let Lainy in the kitchen?” he asked no one in particular.
Lainy continued stirring her pot, but her eyebrow rose.
“She's a good cook, dear,” her grandmother said, defending her.
“No she isn't, she's a nerd. Nerds can't cook.”
“Nerds can follow recipes,” Lainy retorted and then looked over the rim of her glasses again. “Unlike some people, who managed to poison the entire camp last year.”
“I didn't poison the entire camp.” Tom’s sputtering didn’t help his cause.
“Did, too,” Melly shot from the sink.
“You most certainly did,” Laurie added from where she stood at the counter. She turned and Mitch saw a tray of garlic sticks. She inserted the tray into the oven and set a timer. The sister-in-law beside Lainy dumped several boxes of pasta into the boiling water.
“I did not poison the entire camp.”
“Okay, one of your daughters and Sophy didn't get sick because they found Granddad’s Ho Ho stash and didn't eat what you cooked. Everyone else got sick.” Lainy continued stirring the pot and Mitch got the impression she wasn't paying full attention to the conversation. She kept looking from the pot to the book in front of her.
“What's this I hear we're having eye of the newt, spider legs, and various insects for supper?” Will demanded as he entered the already tight kitchen.
“We are?” Tom sent a horrified look Lainy's way. Mitch figured that was for the benefit of the boys standing behind Will.
“We are.” Lainy didn’t look up. She continued to glance between the book and pot. “Ah-hah! That's it.” She
trotted to the cupboard above Laurie where she grabbed a bottle from the shelf, twirled the lid off, and removed a bunch of leaves. She dropped those into the pot and the boys eyes grew wide.
“What are those, Aunt Lainy?”
“Yeah, what'd you put into our eye of the newt stew?” Distrust clouded the boys’ words.
“Magic leaves.”
“What'll they do?”
“Turn you into a werewolf whenever the full moon comes out. Of course, that could happen anyway considering who your fathers are.” Lainy stroked her forefinger and thumb along either side of her chin.
The boys hooted in raucous laughter and concluded they should go start howling at the moon now. They left the room in an awesome display of pre-adolescent boy antics.
“Please don't give them any more ideas,” Laurie begged but everyone ignored her and egged the boys on.
Mitch watched Lainy easily dodge a poking finger and slap a hand hovering near her sauce. She managed a few good kicks and a few more excellent shots of her own, though. He couldn’t tell which brother bugged her. This woman was amazing.
“Go buy a real shirt.” She whapped Tom's fingers with the spoon in her hand.
Tom looked affronted. “This is a real shirt.”
“It's a disaster,” Lainy concluded and several of the women smothered laughter.
“I can't believe you don't like my shirt. But then, who would listen to fashion advice from a nerd anyway?”
“Don't blame me when the fashion police fine you and take away your license. I tried.”
“Just one meatball,” Will coaxed, breaking into their sibling spat. Lainy and the other women all glared at him.
“Would you three kindly get out of the kitchen - you're in our way.” Grandmom pointed an imperious finger toward the door.
“But Grandmom, we're staying out of the way,” Greg whined, and the ladies laughed. He managed to snag a piece of pasta from the pot.
“Out!” Grandmom said and Lainy seconded, Melly added a third and Laurie took to pushing the men through the door.
Rachel sent a sweet smile to Will, who Mitch assumed was her husband, as she stirred the pasta beside Lainy, but otherwise kept quiet. Mitch wondered absently if Treeny was anything like her. He'd have to ask Lainy.
The men filed out of the room, grumping, and when they'd finally cleared the door, a round of relieved sighs filled the room.
“Finally, now we can get some work done.”
Laurie pulled the best-looking garlic sticks he'd ever seen from the oven. She placed them in towel lined baskets while Rachel drained the pasta, then dumped it into huge bowls. Lainy scooped her concoction into more bowls. Grandmom placed several bowls of salad beside them.
His mouth watering, Mitch wanted to be invited to supper.
The ladies carried the food to a table outside. The table appeared to go on for a mile and drop off into the lake. Laurie yelled and almost miraculously, the table filled with bodies of all sizes and ages. When everyone was seated, parents made a few adjustments, and somehow Lainy got stuck between Tom and Will.
She didn't appear fazed by the arrangement, however. He soon learned she had lightning fast elbows which she used whenever necessary.
“Oh, Mom, pass the garlic bread, please,” she said and Mitch watched as a trim, athletic looking woman who looked a lot like Dory picked up the basket.
“Did you finish dessert?” Laurie asked from her part of the table. Mitch watched her in fascination. No wonder the woman was so thin. She seemed to be in constant motion. Catching a knocked over glass here, cutting up a meatball there, breaking up a spat beside her, sending her husband hot looks.
“Yes, I did. Brownies and ice-cream for whoever finishes their supper.” The kids ate faster. Or, as Mitch observed, slyly moved the contents of their plates to the mouths of the dogs lying conveniently nearby. His included.
Most of the pre-adolescent boys and all the teenagers ate second and third helpings.
“How is it that they'll eat whatever you make, but not what I make?” Laurie asked Lainy in consternation.
“You just have to know how to sell the stuff.” Lainy bit into a garlic stick.
Glancing around the table, Mitch noticed Ed, the brother he hadn't seen much of, since the man usually stayed behind the camera. He looked a lot like Will and Tom. He also sported a beard and gold-framed glasses. Mitch assumed he must have mounted the camera somewhere.
Max, Lainy's other brother, sat across the table from her and Mitch noticed the two of them exchange looks from time to time as the conversations flowed around them. Max looked like the male version of Lainy. Down to nearly identical glasses. He said very little at the table, his main conversation consisted of asking someone to pass him something. Every once in a while he'd do something to rile the kids up but he didn't often get the blame. Usually the kid’s dads landed in trouble, or Ed. Especially Ed.
Like the salt Max managed to sprinkle into several drinking glasses, was blamed on Ed. Or the meatballs Max swiped off a few plates. Again, Ed took the blame.
Ben was right, Ed did resemble a human ping pong ball. He was in motion all
the time, like Laurie. Ed doing all the same things she did, except he managed to cause trouble, too. His daughters, or at least the girls seated around him, caught him trying to slip salt into their drinks. The boy sitting across from him yelled at him for trying to swipe garlic bread and one of his sisters, Melly, caught him putting a bug in one little girl's hair.
Mitch hoped the little one was his daughter. Although, it didn’t seem to matter. The kids seemed interchangeable. Whichever adult was handy took care of any problems that arose.
Lainy and Max, while not having children of their own, certainly were called to service often enough. Lainy scooped more meatballs on one little guy’s plate, one of which he promptly winged at the little girl across from him. Max intercepted the meatball before the projectile reached its destination. He tossed the food over his shoulder, and one lucky dog snapped up the tidbit.
Mitch assumed this was perfectly normal behavior. He savored every morsel of the family time. Lainy did scold the little boy, but he didn’t look all that repentant and when she looked away, stuck his tongue out at the little girl he’d thrown the tomato encrusted ball at. The little girl returned the favor and several other kids joined in on the action.
Laurie ended the fun, and another little boy down the table, away from the camera started something Mitch missed. The kids at that end of the table all jumped back and Mitch laughed as a green, croaking amphibian hopped down the table.
Ed snagged the frog and flipped it to Lainy, who caught the amphibian and turned to set it free behind her. Only to be greeted by Bentley, who wagged his tail furiously. She handed the captive across the table to Max, who waved the amphibian in the face of the little girl on the other side of him. She screamed and he let the frog go, apparently content with the scream and lunging effort to get away from him. He tugged on one curly pigtail and she smacked him before returning to her supper, her little legs swinging in contentment.
Mitch couldn’t help the smile or the feeling of remorse that encroached. How he’d have loved to grow up in a huge family unit like this. To be picked on and tormented and loved and wanted. He’d hardly experienced those things. He couldn’t enter into the feelings, yet he appreciated that Ed, a man who didn’t know him, but one who appeared to trust him and welcomed him whole-heartedly into the family had thought to share this moment with him.