by Grady, D. R.
I’m not going to lie and tell you I don’t miss you, because I do. (But I’m scared about all I told you. I hope this doesn’t change how you feel about me. I couldn’t bear if you hated me because of how I manage to mess up my relationships.)
Without communicating with you I feel empty. It’s strange. At least I have Bentley to keep me company and I’m certainly enjoying him. But I miss you. I hope you come home soon. Please.
All for now. I don’t want to overwhelm you with e-mails. Let me know the minute you’re back.
Yours,
Lainy
P.S. I broke my camera, so I’m in the process of looking for another one. Actually, Will, my brother, ran over it. (No, it wasn’t on the ground, but it’s a long story.
Think mountain bike, picnic table, overzealous, clueless brother, and you’ll about have the full picture.)
My little camera is totaled though. I’m picky about them, so I’m still looking into all my options. I know you’d think a computer geek like me would have a backup, but in this case, I don’t. I loved that camera, but not even I can fix it. So, I’ll have to break down and buy a new one. Pictures next time, I promise. Maybe that’ll light a fire under my fanny to buy another one soon. Sometimes I spend too much time on research.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Mitch and his platoon rolled in late on the last day of September. Every bone and muscle in his body ached. They’d taken a pounding when a detonator exploded unexpectedly and started a landslide. Several rocks and a boulder or two had knocked him over. He was bruised in places he hadn’t known could bruise. He hadn’t lost any men and only one other man had been injured. Thank goodness.
Still, it hurt to walk, it hurt to sleep, it hurt to eat, it even hurt to breathe. All he wanted was a hot shower, a true luxury after three months with minimal facilities, a cookie, and to go to bed. He desperately wanted to check e-mail, but was too tired. Besides, he doubted he could sit in a chair that long. At least one good thing about the laptop was that after he downloaded his mail, he could read and reply to his messages from his cot.
A groan slipped out as he slid out of the humvee and gritted his teeth. Pain ratcheted through his body as his feet hit the ground more soundly than he’d intended. Supplementary spasms coiled after the initial pain faded and Mitch didn’t even try to hide the fact he limped. Oh well. It was almost midnight and he still had to find the energy to shower.
Granted, this would be a fast shower, even through the pain, but he carried too much dust and sand with him to not clean up.
Somehow, he’d taken the worst of the rock slide, for which he was grateful. If anyone slapped him on the back, he’d have to break their arm, though. He gritted his teeth again and removed the bag slung over his shoulder. He kicked it under his cot, deciding to deal with the contents in the morning. He couldn’t bend now if he tried, anyway.
Mitch found fresh toiletries in his footlocker and some clean clothes and carried them with him. He took a shower, tepid, but better than nothing and cleaned three months of dirt from his pores. They’d bathed but nothing compared to an actual shower. He shaved so he wouldn’t need to in the morning and fell into his bed.
As usual, he dreamed of Lainy.
The next morning he felt more alive. He’d have to report to his commander and he wanted food. And lots of it. He’d lost weight on this project. Some of which he probably couldn’t afford. His uniforms now hung on him.
After breakfast, he spent the next hour and a half with his boss. Upon hearing of the defective detonator, and the consequent rockslide, he was placed on immediate medical leave for the next few days. Of course, he couldn’t go anywhere and still return in the allotted time, but Mitch figured he and his cot would become better acquainted. His boss also sent him to the infirmary for a thorough exam.
He checked snail mail and found several packages waiting. All from Lainy’s family. His stomach growling, he hoped the bakers had sent him the usual amount and selection of cookies.
When he entered his quarters, he saw they’d added another cot. Squeezed the guy in, which was fine. So long as he had room for his cookies and computer, Mitch didn’t much care. Without difficulty but some pain, he pried the package open and removed the largest container of cookies yet. Almost tearing up, he ripped off the lid and selected one at random. Four cookies later, he finally booted up his computer and opened his other packages.
He received more toiletries, a package of brownies from Lainy’s mother, he felt much joy at that discovery, more crayoned pictures and real pictures of the lake and Bentley and hungrily, he saw, Lainy. There were more cartridges for his Game Boy, compliments of Laurie and her son, Steve. And some duplicates and an interesting device called a Game Link, Steve wrote, so he could hook up to Al’s Game Boy and they could play each other.
Stuffing brownies into his mouth, but savoring the chocolate like he never had before, he stared at all the pictures, wishing he could hold Lainy. When he’d taken his fill of the pictures, he moved to his laptop.
He’d had the foresight to download the messages while he waded through the pictures and saw he had close to fifty waiting. Probably all of them from Lainy and her family, he thought with happiness. He unplugged his computer and carried the machine to his cot. There, he managed to prop himself to minimize the pain.
He ate another brownie and watched as his messages unfolded. Mitch clicked on the ones from Lainy first. Most of them were short, telling him of things Bentley had done. She gave him a clear picture of his dog’s antics and he smiled at each, even though his face hurt.
As he read about Lainy’s past relationships, his heart skidded and lurched. No wonder she was so skittish and had developed the ice princess. Mitch wanted to punch someone and hold Lainy so close he could feel her breathe.
No woman should have gone through what she’d endured. Mitch scowled. How could he work through that kind of betrayal? How could she think the failures were her fault? Mitch swiped a hand of despair over his face. How did he combat this?
He continued reading her e-mail and landed at her conversation with Carla. Thinking about Russ and Wendy Fandrich sent a different type of pain coursing through him. He missed them. He’d never had someone he could call at any time of the day or night and bother until them. Wendy was always open for any motherly questions he needed answered and Russ had taught him how to work on cars and took him to games. Despite the fact he’d been an adult by then. The Marines had taught him about camaraderie. Russ and Wendy Fandrich had taught him about family while the Morrison family expanded on that knowledge.
Clicking the reply button he decided to answer Lainy’s request to tell her more about this couple who’d touched his life before they’d been taken in a tragic accident. But first he’d address her past. In a separate e-mail, because he needed her to know how important her past was to him.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your self esteem
Hello Lainy,
The first thing I’d like to mention is your revealing your past does change how I feel about you. It makes me honored to know you, and makes me want to hold you close and protect you from all your fears, and all the jerks out there who prey on innocent women. I wish I could take the experiences from you so you’d never have to think about them again.
Lainy, your failed relationships were not your fault. The failure lies directly with the creeps you dated. You couldn’t have known they were utter idiots. Again, NOT YOUR FAULT!
I’m sorry to say there are some men who make us regret we’re men, and both of your former boyfriends are two who fulfill all the requirements. Real men would NEVER treat you that way. Please don’t judge all men by those @#$%&’s!
You said something very telling about the second boyfriend. He didn’t fulfill your needs. Of course he didn’t. How could he? He and the first @#$%& didn’t care about anything but themselves. Your needs were overlooked because they didn’t matter.
<
br /> I don't pretend to know much about relationships, but I know good ones involve both partners equally. Both people need to receive something and give something, and I’ve heard sometimes one partner gives more and one takes more at different times, but it balances out. If both partners aren’t giving and taking, the relationship can’t work.
Please don’t judge all relationships on your experiences. From what I’ve learned of your family, that’s where you should look for good examples of what it’s supposed to be like to be in love.
I don’t imagine the physical aspect of your past experiences would be good. Mine weren’t particularly satisfying either. But with the right person, I don’t think that’s an issue.
Maybe love really does conquer all. I joined the Marines instead of trying another relationship. So, I’m not exactly a winner in the romance department, either.
Remember, you’re not to blame.
Yours,
Mitch
He hoped that was enough. Lainy had endured some things she never should have experienced. Mitch wanted to be the one to ease her pain and show her what love really was about. Then he remembered he wasn’t so good in the romance arena, either. Still he was willing to try again. Was she?
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Bentley’s former parents
Hello Lainy,
Thanks for your messages and the packages. (Obviously, I’m back.) It’s been wonderful to return. There was a minor accident - a rockslide, and guess who was lucky enough to be standing in the way? The guys joked that I made a great cover.
I hurt in areas I’d forgotten were there, but I’m fine. My commanding officer put me on sick leave for a few days, so I’ll be able to heal. I doubt we’ll leave again soon, but one never knows. Hopefully the bruises fade fast.
Thanks for seeing to my personal business. I thought I’d taken care of all my bills before I left, but one or two fell through the cracks, obviously.
I’m glad you met Carla, if only by phone. She’s our bone structure at the office. She keeps us from collapsing, and definitely runs the place. She doesn't accept excuses or whining. She's a tough one, but the first to take care of you if there's a problem.
My former boss, Russ and his wife, Wendy, were like parents to me. I did everything with them that was family related after I met them when I took the federal job three years ago. They took me in. We did a lot together.
I knew Russ wanted a new Bentley Continental T Mulliner. So did Wendy. (Know about the Bentley that is.) She thought it a very silly idea. (Her words.) They had plans to buy an RV and travel the country and she figured a new car that expensive would suck up all of their RV fund. (Wendy was probably right. As usual.)
A neighbor had a dog with puppies, and Wendy went to visit. And came home with a new puppy. I don’t think Russ was too impressed at first, since Wendy said his name was Bentley and he was the only kind they could afford. (Russ complained about wanting a car and getting a stinky dog instead.) But it didn’t take their new puppy long to win Russ’s heart and they bonded fast. I heard all about his antics at work and got to meet the little guy soon after they’d brought him home. He was perfect for them. Shook their house up, and they adored him.
Didn’t take me long to fall for him either. As soon as I heard they were killed, I went to their house to take him. (The bowl I left with him and some of the older toys are items they purchased.) He grew so quickly he’s gone through four collars, now. He chewed through his first two leashes, but by the time I got him, he’d outgrown that particular habit, thank goodness.
I don’t talk about Russ and Wendy much because it still hurts. They had no business being out that night, over a year ago now. The weather was awful and they could have rescheduled the dinner, but both were stubborn and insisted on keeping their commitment. Their car hit a huge patch of ice. It sent them through the guardrail and over an embankment. There were trees below and when they hit those, the collision killed them instantly. (Or so I was told.)
I take comfort that they didn’t suffer, but I still hate that they’re gone. There are days I get depressed. They were my parents in nearly every sense of the word for two wonderful years. No matter what, I knew they loved me. (I’ve made Fandrich my middle name, since I didn’t have a middle name. My full name is Mitchel Fandrich Monahan.)
I went into shock when they died and Carla and some of the others worried about me. I dropped out of life for a while. I acted more like a zombie than a human. Bentley helped me through the grief. As you’ve probably discovered, he’s not one to let you wallow for long.
He missed them, but I snuck him into the funeral home so he’d have a chance to say goodbye. I wanted him to know they were dead. I guess I needed to know, too. They didn’t look dead since most of the damage was internal. (Both were wearing seatbelts.) I had a hard time with their deaths. I lost so much that night.
It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. (I’d rather face a landslide multiple times.) I’d had these people who loved me unconditionally and they were gone – in an instant. The only thing that got me through was knowing I had Bentley. I coped because of him.
Then, soon after, I received my deployment orders to Kuwait. I did everything I could to keep Bentley. Carla did everything she could. She’s allergic to dogs or she’d have kept him. (She can’t breathe when they’re around, that’s how bad she is.) Her heart broke as much as mine when I had to give him up.
I felt like I’d broken all ties with Russ and Wendy - like I was betraying them when I took Bentley to that shelter. They loved him so much, and so do I. I had to give up something they loved nearly as much as they loved me.
I still have their house, but I doubt I could live there. I’ve got too many memories. I felt so welcome in their home, but now it’s empty. Because they’re not there.
I’m renting the place out to a nice couple. I put all of Wendy’s favorite pieces in storage with my stuff. I can’t let people I don’t know use the things she loved.
I needed the Marines before and especially then. I’d left a bad relationship, was out of college and my life seemed so empty. The Marines filled that space. Besides, I think Russ was proud I’m a Marine. But Wendy was scared she’d lose me. I used to tease her all the time how I’d outlive her. And I did. Leaves me aching.
I don’t take life for granted now. But I also don’t dwell on it, either. If I die serving my country, I’ll feel like I died for a purpose. Russ felt like a man should serve his country. And I do, too. At least my death wouldn’t be senseless like theirs.
I’m glad to have you in my life, too. I also understand when you say you miss me. Because I definitely miss you. All the time. It sounds strange, I know, but I feel the same way. So far, the time here has gone quickly. We have a lot to do, so that helps. Yours,
Mitch
He sent the messages to his outbox and kept reading. There were two more e-mails from her and one had attachments. Clicking on it, she told him about some of Bentley’s antics at the lake. And had sent pictures.
The last mailing had an interesting title and he couldn’t help but laugh, even though so doing made him ache.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Brothers for sale! Cheap!
Hello Mitch,
Actually, how about if I pay you to take my brothers? I’ll give you all four of them, and throw my brothers-in-law in for spice? The girls are willing to help contribute to the fund, by the way.
The guys are totally worthless. You wouldn’t believe what they did! I still can’t believe it. Luckily for them, my computer did not go in the lake with me, but I lost my favorite pair of glasses. Ben, who decided to come up from Virginia where he’s stationed right now, dropped by my house and picked up a pair of contacts for me. I hardly ever wear contacts. I hate them. Glasses are so much easier, and after a while, contacts make my eyes hurt.
Anywa
y, we’d only just gotten to the lake. Now, you’d think they’d have learned last year, that when you throw Lainy in the lake, don’t throw her purse in with her. Because she’s ALWAYS got important electronic gadgets in her purse. Last time they ruined my cell phone, tablet computer, MP3 player, and my voice recorder pen.
This year, my grandmother managed to snag my purse before I got tossed, physically and rather brutally, into the lake. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand my time was due. We’ve managed to throw all of them in every time we’ve visited this summer. However, the method in which they threw us still makes me livid.
They tied and threw all of us together. The sisters-in-law, and Treeny, Rachel’s sister, also received the same tie and toss handling.
My sister Laurie is deathly afraid of snakes, and guess what the first thing is we encounter after we hit the water? A snake, of course. Now, there shouldn’t be poisonous snakes in the water. We live in Pennsylvania, not some southern state where nasty water snakes are not unusual.
Keep in mind, we’re tied to each other, we’re in water, and Laurie is screaming bloody murder. I’m the lucky sucker tied to her, who is thrashing and nearly managed to drown Dory and me. Turns out the poisonous snake was fake, which one of the herd had lost, but I don’t recommend being tied to Laurie when she spots one. I swallowed more lake water than I care to think about.
Fortunately, Ben, thank goodness, arrived and noticed, (this was my second tossing) after pushing several of my cackling brothers out of the way, that Treeny’s face didn’t clear the water. She couldn’t keep her face above the surface long enough to breathe.
They didn’t realize this was a problem because they threw us in a relatively shallow area. Well, when we hit, and yes, my bottom collided with a rock, HARD, and is now very nicely bruised, Dory ended up in a dip and couldn’t breathe, either.