by Jaci Burton
He'd never let anyone talk to him the way Bash did. But he and Bash had been friends since they were six years old, and Bash knew everything about him, about what he went through with his mother, and after his dad died. His friend knew about his reluctance to repeat the mistakes of the past, and had never judged him for it.
Until now. "You know how I feel, Bash."
"I do. I just don't want you to die alone."
Logan laughed. "Come on, man. I'm hardly alone. I have a whole family on the ranch."
"That's not the same thing as having someone in your bed at night and a house full of kids to pass on your legacy to. And you know what the hell I'm talking about, so don't shine me on with your bullshit about being happy with the way things are. Believe me, if anyone knows about the kind of crap a woman can rain down on you, it's me. I'm more aware than anyone you know, including your brother, who had his own past nightmares with a bad marriage. But even Luke got past it, despite the hell of your mother, and found himself a good woman. So maybe you can stop using her as an excuse and move forward with your life."
Logan dropped his chin and leveled a look at Bash. "You know, I didn't expect a lecture today."
"No, I imagine you didn't. But I've been thinking about you a lot lately. You have a lot to offer a woman."
"Not a woman like Des."
"Maybe not. And maybe if you see something you want, you should go after it and figure out how to make it work, no matter how hard it's going to be. Nothing worth having is easy."
"Now you sound like my dad."
Bash laughed. "I always liked your dad, so I'll take that as a compliment."
"I think you're spending too much time at the bar dispensing advice. It's all going to your head and you've got a know-it-all complex going."
"You think? How am I doing? Pretty good, huh?"
"You're an asshole."
Bash nudged his shoulder against Logan's. "Yeah, love you, too, buddy."
DES HAD A wonderful day, and from the looks of things, so had her friends. Callie had her eye on the gorgeous Bash, who seemed to have no problem spending time with the beautiful Callie, even though she was only going to be in town for the day. The two of them disappeared for a while, and when they came back, Callie's cheeks were pink and her hair was mussed up. Des grinned, making a mental note to ask Callie about that later.
"Having fun?" she asked Colt as they sat down and reconnected over some delicious coconut cream pie.
Colt nodded. "It's a great day. Hot as hell, tons of people around, and my friends are here. What more could I ask for?"
"Oh, I think you could ask for more."
Colt's gaze gravitated over to the fences, where Sarah and Tony were engaged in deep conversation. "Yeah, well, if wishes were horses . . ."
"You could have everything you wanted, Colt. All you have to do is want it badly enough."
"I want it, honey. More than you could know."
Des's gaze moved over the crowd and settled on Logan, surrounded by a group of guys. Some were the ranch hands, some were his friends, and there were a few more she hadn't met yet. He seemed relaxed, even laughed a few times.
Several times during the day she'd looked up to find him watching her. She had to admit she didn't mind that at all.
As if they had some kind of psychic bond, Logan averted his attention from the group of guys he was talking with, searching the crowd until his gaze settled on hers. His lips curved, and she felt the intensity of his look all the way down to her toes.
"Speaking of having something you want . . ." Colt said.
She sighed and clasped her hands together as she turned to face her friend. "I know. He really gets to me in ways I can't explain."
"You don't have to explain anything. I understand chemistry."
"I think it may be more than just chemistry and sexual attraction, Colt."
"Are you developing feelings for Logan?"
"I'm trying not to. You know as well as I do that the two of us are worlds apart."
Colt shrugged. "That doesn't mean anything if you two are right together."
"I just can't see it working. He's not looking for anything permanent, and I'm--"
"What? Restless? Unhappy?"
"How did you know?"
Colt slid his hand in hers. "Because I'm your best friend. I've known for a long time that career alone hasn't been satisfying you. You've wanted something more."
"Have I? Even I didn't know that until recently. I love what I do, Colt."
"So do I." He looked over at Tony. "But at some point, we realize there has to be more to life than just working all the time."
Had Des reached that point? She'd been working for seven years, hardly an eternity by anyone's standards. But she'd done it mostly alone. She'd had on-and-off relationships, but nothing serious with anyone, certainly nothing that would make her question her needs and desires and what she wanted in the future.
Until now.
And what did that even mean, that she was looking at Logan differently from any other man she'd ever known?
It meant nothing, because as she'd told Colt, there could be no future with someone like him.
Mainly because she knew he'd never want a relationship with her, or with anyone else.
They were having fun with each other, not looking to tie each other up with anything permanent, and it was best she just leave it that way.
When it started to get dark, she wound her way back to Logan.
"Having a good time?" he asked.
"I'm having a great day. Thank you for letting us come here."
"Wouldn't have it any other way. I'm glad you and your friends could spend the day with us."
"You have a good family and amazing friends. I've never been so relaxed."
He smiled. "Wait 'til you see the fireworks."
"I'm looking forward to those."
Colt and Tony and the others joined her, and Logan set them up with chairs near the fireworks area.
"Guard your eardrums," Logan said with a wide grin. "I'll be back later."
He disappeared with Ben, Luke, and a few of the crew and started setting up what looked like an armament of fireworks. The crowd gathered close, everyone grabbing a seat. Living in a city, Des had gone to some fireworks shows, but had never been able to set them off herself.
She wriggled in her chair and looked over at Colt, who had finally gotten the chance to sit next to Tony. The two of them might not be able to hold hands, but at least they could share this together, and for that Des was glad.
When the first firework went off, Des's eyes widened as the burst lit up the sky, the sound exploding like thunder. The crowd made sounds of approval, and so did she, as another followed right on its tail. Logan and his men kept the beautiful streamers coming one after another, from trailing sparklers to loud explosions of bright balls of color. For nearly a half hour, Des was treated to one of the best fireworks shows she'd ever seen, especially this close.
She had no idea what they'd spent on this spectacle, but it must have been a lot. Logan definitely knew how to entertain the town. At the end, everyone stood and applauded, then began to say their good-byes.
Emma found her and hugged her. "I'm going to call you next week to set up our girls' day."
"I'm looking forward to it."
Des helped Martha with the cleanup, as did Colt and their friends, so they had everything put away in no time at all, while Logan and his crew took care of clearing the fireworks debris outside.
"Thank you for all the wonderful food today, Martha," Des said as she slid the last of the plastic ware into the dishwasher.
Martha hugged her. "You were such a big help. And you were supposed to be a guest."
Des laughed. "I enjoyed helping out. You had quite the crowd today."
"And lots of helping hands, so it was no trouble at all. It isn't often we have this big a gathering. We always have so much fun with it. Did you like the fireworks?"
"They were s
pectacular. Like wow spectacular."
Martha hung up the dish towel and leaned against the counter. "Logan and Luke have always loved fireworks. So did their father. He was always such a big kid about it. When the boys were younger, the Fourth of July was a small affair. The missus hated fireworks, disliked all the noise. But when the boys got older, Mr. McCormack started getting bigger fireworks. Each year the show would expand a little, mostly, I think, to irritate her."
Des laughed.
"And then we started inviting some of the neighbors, because Mr. McCormack liked having people over."
"Well, who wouldn't? Isn't that the best part of a holiday?"
Martha crossed her arms. "Mrs. McCormack didn't enjoy that at all. She wanted to go on vacation in the summer, to somewhere tropical like the Caribbean or to Hawaii. Honestly. Like a working rancher had time to take summer vacations."
"That hardly seems likely, does it, given the amount of work to do around here?"
"True. Anyway, everyone else loved the Fourth of July get-togethers on the ranch--other than Mrs. M., of course. And every year more people came as word spread. Mr. M. and the boys all had a great time, and the fireworks got bigger and bigger until it became a huge extravaganza, like what you saw tonight."
"It sounds like great fun, and an opportunity for all the people in town to sit back, relax, and reconnect."
"Exactly."
Though Des didn't understand how Logan's mother didn't love the idea of joining in with her community. But . . . whatever. Judging from what Logan had told her about his mother, she probably wasn't a big people or community person, so it was no surprise to hear she hadn't been on board for this kind of party.
Des was, though. She'd had a blast and was sorry to see it end.
Martha yawned. "That's my cue to go find my husband. I'm exhausted."
They headed outside. Colt was leaning against their SUV, obviously having brought it up from the back of the property where all the vehicles had been parked. He, Logan, and Ben were all talking.
"Ready to go, Ben?" Martha asked.
Ben nodded, shook Colt's hand and said good night to Des. They climbed into their truck and headed down the road.
"You coming with us, Des?"
She looked at Logan.
"I'll make sure she gets back to the set," he said.
A shiver ran up her spine. She was looking forward to the rest of the night.
Chapter 15
COLT NODDED AND smiled at Des. "See you in the morning."
"Okay. Have a good night."
She hoped Colt wrangled some fun alone time with Tony before he had to fly back tomorrow.
After they left, Logan looked at her. "Care for something to drink?"
"I've had way too much iced tea today. How about a beer?"
"Sounds good."
They went inside, and Logan shut the front door. She noticed he didn't bother to lock it, which made her shake her head. Life out here was so different from what she was used to in L.A.
Logan pulled a couple of beers from the fridge, then left the room. She followed him up the stairs, smiling as he led her into his bedroom, then out on the deck. He popped the top on one of the beers and handed it to her as she took a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs.
"Since it's such a clear night, I thought you might want to look at the stars."
She settled back and took a sip of beer. "Thank you."
She tilted her head back and looked out over the night. Just as she'd imagined the first time he'd brought her out here, the sky was breathtaking--nothing but black except for all the stars. So many stars, in fact, they took her breath away.
"I can't believe you don't enjoy this view every single night, Logan. It's awe-inspiring."
"It is nice."
She dragged her gaze away from the spectacle and looked at him. "Nice? It's amazing. Do you know what I see when I walk out onto my balcony at night?"
"No. What do you see?"
"Other condo buildings. And a Dumpster. No stars."
"You could buy your own place, couldn't you? One with a view?"
"I could. But I don't want to make a permanent home in L.A."
He took a couple swallows of beer and stared out over the land. "Where do you want to live?"
"I don't know. I've just never felt settled enough to consider setting down roots anywhere."
"A product of your upbringing?"
She laughed. "Maybe. And because I travel so much for work, the condo I live in has always suited me. Until recently."
"What changed recently?"
"Me, I guess. I've been . . . restless. Unhappy."
He laid his beer down on the table next to him, and turned his chair to face her. "Tell me why you're unhappy."
"I don't know. Maybe that's the wrong word. Whenever I think it, I'm almost ashamed. What the hell do I have to feel unhappy about? I have this amazing career that I'm so lucky to have. Do you know how many women would kill to be where I am? So many actresses fight and struggle to get work. And I've been working steadily since I was nineteen."
"Maybe that's why you're unhappy. Maybe you need a break."
She laughed. "Working actresses don't take breaks. You take a break, you're forgotten."
"I think that's bullshit. If you're good at what you do--and from what I hear and the little I've seen, you're definitely good--then you can afford to take some time off. When was the last time you had a vacation?"
"I don't know. I have breaks in between movies."
"What do you do on these breaks?"
"Clean my condo. Go catch up on movies I haven't seen. Reconnect with my friends. Visit my parents. Read scripts for new projects."
"That's not a vacation."
She gave him a look. "Isn't that a little like the pot calling the kettle black? When do you take vacations?"
"I'm not unhappy."
"But are you fulfilled? Do you have everything you want, Logan?"
He didn't answer for a few seconds, then said, "I'm satisfied."
"Now you're avoiding. I think you're just like me. Satisfied means you're okay, but you feel like there are holes in your happiness." She stood and walked to the edge of the deck and stared out over the vast expanse of land. "For a while I was content with that. Now I'm not. I don't want there to be holes anymore."
He got up and stepped behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Only you can do what it takes to make yourself happy, Des. No one else can be responsible for that."
She took a deep breath, sliding her hands along his muscled forearms. "I know."
"So what do you need?"
She leaned her head back against his shoulder. "Right now? Just this. To be with you here tonight with a million stars overhead and no one else around."
"And tomorrow?"
She turned and laid her hands on his chest. "Screw tomorrow. I don't want to think about tomorrow when today was so perfect, and tonight I'm here with you."
He threaded his fingers into her hair and kissed her, and every other thought left her mind except his hands on her and the way his mouth moved over hers. Logan had a way of making her forget everything that wasn't important. And what could be more important than the seductive slide of his hands down her back, his tongue tangling with hers, or the sounds he made as he backed her against the wall of the deck?
She found it hard to breathe as he slid his hand under her shirt and palmed her stomach. Logan's touch was always magical, zipping through her nerve endings and making her feel as if she'd never experienced these kinds of sensations before.
And when he lifted her tank tops over her head, she went for his shirt, too.
He took a step back and drew his shirt off.
It was dark, very little moon tonight, but she used her sense of touch to slide her hands over his chiseled abdomen and up over his chest. Her heart beat a staccato rhythm as he slipped his arm around her and undid her bra, then drew it down her arms and cast it on the pile of clothes on the chair
.
She met his gaze, wishing it were light outside so she could see his eyes, but she felt his heartbeat pounding away like hers, and when he brushed his fingers over her nipple, she gasped, her body going haywire as he rubbed back and forth, shocks of pleasure shooting straight to her core.
But there was more to come because he shifted her, and then his mouth was at her breast. Her world spun as he flicked his tongue over the bud, then pulled it fully into his mouth to suck.
"Logan." She grasped his hair and held on, feeling dizzy, sizzling with the need to make these sensations go on forever. He worked her other nipple, then kissed the underside of her breast, dropped to his knees and tugged her shorts and panties down. She stepped out of them.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are, Des?"
She looked down at him. "No, I don't think so."
"Well, you are. Every part of you, from your cute, pink painted toes to your long legs and your amazing eyes. And right here, too." He put his mouth on her and swiped his tongue across her sex.
She trembled, letting out a moan as he brought her to new heights of pleasure. Des focused on the stars as Logan focused his mouth on the center of her universe, until she tightened her fingers in his hair, unable to hold back her moans of pleasure. And when she let go, she released with a loud cry. Logan held on to her as her knees buckled, the strength of her orgasm making her tremble.
He was right there seconds later, his face even with hers, pulling her against him, his erection brushing her hip as he kissed her with a force of passion that rocked her and brought her right back to that feverish desire she'd felt only moments ago.
She fumbled with the button of his jeans, and he helped her. He broke the kiss only long enough to free himself, grab a condom, and put it on, and then he'd backed her against the wall, spread her legs, and slid inside her.
She loved the passion, the need he seemed to feel to be with her. It was the same hunger that fueled her, and when he thrust inside her, she kissed him, flicking her tongue against his, mindless with the passion that never seemed to lose its fuel whenever she was with him.
He took her bottom lip between his teeth and tugged, flaming her fire to incendiary levels. She whimpered as he drove deeper, rubbing against that sensitive spot that tingled and tightened within her while she was grasping his cock, claiming him as hers.