by Jaci Burton
"Oh, Emma, that's great," Jane said. "Is that the Dr. Moore you're always talking about?"
Emma nodded. "I had him for four classes in vet school, and I don't know that I would have made it through without him." Emma turned to Des. "Some of those instructors were assholes that couldn't care less whether you passed or failed. Dr. Moore saved my life, always encouraged me to push through, no matter how hard it was."
Des nodded. "I've had a few mentors through the years, too. Directors and casting agents can be brutal. Sometimes all it takes are a few kind words. In my business, you don't always get a part, especially one you want badly. My agent especially has been my lifesaver. I couldn't imagine having made it in this business without her."
"It's good to have people on your side," Jane said. "I couldn't survive a week of school without Chelsea."
"Aww," Chelsea said, taking Jane's hand and squeezing it. "The feeling is mutual, honey."
"I admire both of you so much," Des said. "Being an army brat, I moved around a lot, and I had my share of amazing teachers, and quite a few that sucked."
Chelsea laughed. "Believe me, Jane and I have seen plenty of both. This summer, I'm one of those teachers who suck."
"You are not," Jane said. "You took on summer school this year so I could be with my kids."
Chelsea sighed. "It's like the kids are zombies in there. Try to teach math in the summer to a group of high school students who don't want to be there in the first place. You might as well kill me now. What was I thinking?"
"You were thinking that someone has to help these kids get to the next level," Emma said. "And maybe they don't want to be there, but you'll encourage them to do whatever it takes to pass."
Chelsea smiled at Emma. "You're so sweet and naive, Em. These kids don't give a shit about math. They're going to do the barest minimum to get through my class. Which means a C minus. They'd much rather be at the lake. Not that I blame them. I'd much rather be at the lake, too."
Des laughed. "Summer school is rough. And it's probably not that the kids don't want to learn. It's like you said. They're frustrated. All their friends are out having summer fun, and they're stuck in the classroom."
"You speak from experience?" Chelsea cocked a brow.
Des took a sip of her wine and nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. I had to do a summer of math, too. It was hideous. No offense to either you or Jane."
"None taken," Jane said.
"Here, either." Chelsea shook her head. "By the end of the school year in late May, I'm toast. And then summer school starts up. Every year I say I'm not going to do it. Some years I don't, but this year for some reason I said I would."
"Because there was no one else to do it and seven students signed up," Jane said.
"That's true. It was either me or Jane. And Jane has kids, and I don't. So I said yes."
"There are only two weeks left, Chelsea."
She lifted her glass and stared at the golden liquid. "Maybe I'll start bringing wine."
"For you or the kids?" Des asked.
Chelsea laughed. "I'll get back to you on that one. In the meantime, why don't you tell us about Logan?"
Des grabbed the bottle and refilled her glass. "Oh, yeah. That." She was kind of hoping they could continue to talk about everyone else instead of her. She loved learning more about them.
"The day after the Fourth I spent the day working on the ranch with Logan."
"Really," Jane said. "That sounds like fun. Hard work, probably."
"It was hard. But it was also enlightening. And fun. And hot," she finished with a laugh.
"I can imagine. It's one of our typical Oklahoma summers," Chelsea said.
Des explained everything she'd done that day, from the time Logan got her up before dawn, until they were finished for the day.
"Holy crap, Des," Chelsea said. "I'm surprised you didn't throw in the towel by lunch."
She shrugged. "It was okay, and I thought I was doing well. But Logan didn't go easy on me. I mean, he treated me like he would any of the other hands that work for him."
Jane leaned back in her chair and swirled the wine around in her glass. "He was testing you."
"I guess so. I didn't figure it out right away, but I believe he was."
"He's scared, Des. And he obviously cares about you, otherwise he wouldn't have pushed you so hard."
"It's because of his and Luke's mother," Des said.
"He shared that with you?" Chelsea asked.
Des nodded. "He did. And I understand it, but I'll be damned if I have to pay for her sins."
Emma laid her hand on Des's arm. "You shouldn't have to. What Luke and Logan's mother did was reprehensible. It scarred both of them, made them wary of getting close to anyone, especially women. But there's no way you should have to pay the price for her abandoning her children. Logan's just going to have to wake up and realize all women aren't like her."
"It's not like we were headed down that road anyway."
"Maybe Logan thinks you are. Maybe he's in love with you and he's confused."
Des slanted a look of disbelief at Jane. "Logan is not in love with me. I don't think he's capable of loving anyone."
"I disagree," Emma said. "I also agree with Jane. I think he was testing you, working your ass off at the ranch that day to see if you'd bolt. God knows, from what Luke tells me, his mother hated ranch life and never wanted to take part in any of the activities there."
"Exactly," Chelsea added. "And here you are, someone who's the polar opposite of him in terms of lifestyle and career. If he didn't care about you, he'd never have tested you. He would have given you the standard McCormack Day at the Ranch experience."
Des lifted a brow. "There's a McCormack Day at the Ranch experience?"
Emma laughed. "Yes. I think anyone who wants to"--she used air quotes with her fingers--"'experience life on a working cattle ranch,' as they call it, they give them a pretty darned easy day. Nothing like what you told us you went through."
"I survived it, and the worst part about it was, I had fun."
"Until Logan made it not fun," Jane said.
"Exactly."
Emma refilled all their glasses. "So the question now is, what are you going to do about that?"
"I don't know. I need some advice."
"Don't ask me," Chelsea said, taking a swallow of wine. "Men are a mystery to me. One totally screwed-up mystery. You'd be better off asking Jane and Emma. Obviously they have them figured out."
Jane laughed. "We do not. We've just learned how to live with their idiosyncrasies."
"True that," Emma said. "Never in my wildest imaginings did I think I'd ever settle down this soon. Or ever. And Luke? He's a mass of contradictions and complications. But oh, he's so sexy. And so sweet. He bought us wine tonight, you know."
Des smiled as Emma began to slur her words. Friends were great. Drunk friends were even better. "I don't know that you need to understand them, but you can still offer me some advice on what you think I should do about Logan."
"Or to Logan," Chelsea said, weaving a bit in her chair. Then she laughed.
And so did Jane.
And then Emma laughed, too.
Des cracked a smile. "You all are not helping."
Jane set her glass down on the table. "Okay, you're right. We are not helping. But honestly, Des, what do you want to do? Are you mad enough at him that you think he's not worth it, or do you have genuine feelings for him?"
That was the big question, wasn't it?
"I have feelings for him, things I've never felt for another man before. But I don't really know how he feels. And God knows I have no idea what he really wants."
"It seems to me that you've never had any qualms about telling him how you feel or what you want. Isn't that right?" Chelsea asked.
"True."
"So why the hesitation now? Unless you're afraid you won't like the answer."
Des sighed. "You're right about that. I've never been afraid of any man, ever. I've
always been very honest with my feelings, my wants, and my needs. Until Logan. He makes me crazy. And conflicted."
"Because you've fallen in love with him," Emma offered.
"I don't know that I'm ready to admit that yet. It's all wrong between us."
Emma waved her hand back and forth. "Trust me, there are no spectacles." Emma frowned. "No, wait, that's not the right word." She laughed. "Obstacles. There's the word I was looking for. There's no obstacles that can't be overcome between two people who truly want to be together."
Jane raised her glass. "I'll drink to that."
And they did. More than once.
Chapter 18
LOGAN WAS SITTING on the deck outside his bedroom when he saw Luke's truck driving past the house. It was late. He pulled out his phone to see it was past midnight. He headed downstairs and waited about twenty minutes.
Luke pulled up to the house and got out, then headed up to the porch where Logan had pulled up a seat.
"Raiding my cattle?" Logan asked.
Luke's lips curved. "Making a delivery."
Logan cocked a brow.
"Dropping your drunk girlfriend off."
"Drunk, huh?"
"Girls' night. I had to drive her, Chelsea, and Jane home."
Logan nodded. "Bet that was fun."
"You have no idea. The three of them babbled all the way to Jane's house about nail polish colors. Then after I dropped Jane off, Des and Chelsea played some movie-trivia game. After Chelsea's drop-off, Des talked to me nonstop the whole way here."
"About nail polish?"
"Even worse. About you."
"Huh." Logan looked out over the dirt road toward the barn. "Care to elaborate?"
"Not particularly."
"Okay." He'd really hate to beat the shit out of his little brother, but if it came to that, he would.
The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes.
"You gonna tell me or not?" Logan finally asked.
"About?"
"Des."
"What about Des?"
"Goddammit, Luke."
Luke let out a short laugh. "I'm going to preface this by telling you she was pretty toasted, so she'll probably be embarrassed tomorrow by all the babbling she was doing about you."
That made him feel a little better, especially considering she hadn't given him the time of day in the past week. "What did she say?"
"She's confused." Luke turned to face him. "What the hell did you do to upset her?"
"I was a dickhead."
"That's not unusual for you."
"Funny. She stayed the day after the Fourth of July to work at the ranch. I was hard on her."
Luke folded his arms. "So you didn't give her the typical McCormack Day at the Ranch treatment."
"No. I mean I treated her like shit, pushed her hard all day long."
Luke didn't say anything for a few minutes. "To see if she'd run like hell? Like Mom?"
Funny how everyone had spotted it right off. Except him. "I didn't even notice I was doing it. Ben did, though. And now you."
"You've never done that with any other woman."
"No."
"So why Des?"
"Hell if I know."
"Don't you? She means something to you."
Logan stood and went to the porch railing to look out over the land before turning to face his brother. "How could she mean something to me? You know who she is, what she does for a living."
"So? Why would that even matter if you care about her?"
"You went through it with Becca. Dad went through it with Mom. City girls don't belong on the ranch."
"That's bullshit, Logan, and you know it. If she's the right woman and she loves you, it won't matter what she does for a living. Becca wasn't the right choice for me. It wouldn't have mattered where she and I lived. She hated the life I chose. And Mom should have never married Dad. She knew ahead of time what her life was going to be like. Dad showed her what a life on the ranch was going to be, yet she chose it, and then she was miserable, and made everyone around her miserable, too."
Logan shook his head. "What Des and I have together is something . . . fun, you know? It just got out of hand that day, and I need to apologize to her for being so hard on her. We need to get back to having fun together."
"Yeah, because God forbid you should actually fall in love with someone, make a commitment and ask someone to share your life. You might actually be happy."
Logan narrowed his gaze at Luke. "Hey, screw you. I know what I'm doing."
"Do you? Because it seems to me you don't have a fucking clue."
Luke pushed up to stand, then headed toward the stairs. He stopped beside Logan and laid his hand on Logan's shoulder.
"Think about what's important to you, Logan, what you want for your future. Think about what's going to happen when that movie's done, the trailers leave, and Des is gone. Are you going to be okay with that?"
Logan's stomach tightened at the thought of her being gone, of not seeing her ever again.
"I'll be just fine when she leaves."
Luke squeezed his shoulder. "Sure you will. Hey, I'm going to head home to my gorgeous, drunk, and probably passed-out fiancee. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. Thanks for bringing Des back."
"No problem." Luke headed down the stairs and got into his truck, then rolled down the window. "Hey, Logan?"
Logan walked down the steps and stopped at Luke's truck. "Yeah."
"You do realize you just thanked me for bringing your girl back, right? For someone who claims not to care, you sure seem to care."
Shit. "Night, Luke."
Luke's lips curved. "Night, Logan."
Chapter 19
DES WOKE WITH a blistering headache and a mouth that tasted like she'd ingested the entirety of the hot, dry dirt on the ranch.
Bleh. She slid out of bed and headed into the kitchen for the largest glass she could find, then consumed two full glasses of water.
That helped. Next, she made a cup of coffee and poured some juice.
Now semi-awake, she downed two acetaminophen and swore she'd never drink wine again.
After taking a shower and finding craft services so she could consume some carbs, she felt nearly human again.
"Hey." A set of arms wrapped around her. She smiled as Colt kissed her cheek.
She turned around. "Hey, yourself."
"You look like crap."
She laughed. "Thanks. I feel like crap."
"I thought a spa day was supposed to make you look and feel rejuvenated, not like you just crawled through the desert."
"Ha ha. The spa day was fun. It was the three-bottles-of-wine night that did me in."
"Ah. Yeah, damn that wine. Come to my trailer and tell me all about it. We don't have call for another hour."
"Thank God for that. I'm going to need some cucumbers on my eyes." As they passed the craft services table, she snatched a pastry. "And another croissant."
"I have one of those gel eye packs in my fridge," Colt said as he led her into his trailer. "It'll do wonders for the dark circles and bags under your eyes. And the splitting headache you no doubt have."
Leave it to Colt to be brutally honest about her appearance. But that's why she loved him.
"Thanks." She slid onto his sofa and picked off a piece of the croissant, letting its buttery deliciousness melt in her mouth. While she ate, she filled him in on her day and night with the girls.
"Should I be jealous I'm being replaced with new girlfriends?" he teased, putting a glass of lemon water in front of her.
"Thanks. And no. You know I'll always love you best." She made a kissy face at him.
"Of course you will. Girls will never tell you when you look hideous."
She tore off another piece of croissant. "So true."
"Or that you should stop eating that oh-my-god-it's-too-many-calories-and-your-butt-is-going-to-get-huge croissant."
She stuck her tongue out
at him. "That's probably fact, but this morning, I don't even care. This damn thing tastes like it's saving me from the fiery pit of hell."
Colt grabbed his cup of coffee and sat next to her. "That bad a hangover, huh?"
"Yes. That bad."
"Poor baby."
"I know. We were talking and drinking, talking and drinking, and the next thing you know, Emma's fiance Luke is bringing me back here, and I'm spilling my guts to him about how I'm crazy about his brother. I talked his ear off about Logan the whole drive from Emma's house to here. Like thirty-five minutes of me blathering on nonstop about how his brother doesn't understand me. Ugh. I was a hideous basket case. Poor Luke. I don't think I'll ever be able to face him again."
Colt laughed. "That's awesome, Des."
"It was not awesome. I was very much a girl last night."
"A girl who's crazy about Logan. I'm sure Luke understood."
She was disgusted with herself for behaving like that, and for telling Logan's brother, of all people, how she felt. What was wrong with her?
"Enough about me. Tell me what you did yesterday."
Colt looked down at his coffee, then up at her. "I had a long Skype session with Tony."
"Oh, that's sweet. I'm so glad."
"He just heard that he's going to be the cinematographer on Shapes in the Darkness."
Des laid her croissant down. "Is he? The paranormal you're starring in with Alexis Green?"
"Yeah."
"That's awesome. Think of all the time the two of you will be able to spend together while you're filming."
He nodded, then stared down at his coffee again. Des frowned. "Colt? Is something wrong?"
"No. Nothing's wrong. Actually, for the first time in a very long time, everything is starting to feel right." He lifted his gaze to hers. "I'm going to come out, Des. I decided yesterday."
Her eyes widened. "You did? Did you talk about it with Tony?"
"Yes. After he told me about the movie, I decided enough was enough. I don't care what my management team says. I want to be with Tony--really be with him. We're going to be on a movie set together, and I don't want to sneak around on set or pretend we don't care about each other."
She grasped his hand. "I'm so glad."
"I'm terrified, Des."
She leaned into him and put her arms around him. "Don't be scared, Colt. People will still love you as much as they do now."
"You know that's not true. I'll lose some fans once they find out I'm gay."
She took a deep breath and let it out. "You're right. You will. Some people won't be able to see past the homosexuality to recognize that you're still the same person, that you're still the same outstanding actor you've always been, that the love scenes and chemistry you've shared with all the actresses you've worked with over the years has been just that--acting--just as it would be with any hetero-sexual actor who does a love scene with some actress, then goes home to his wife or his girlfriend. It's unfortunate that who someone loves has to be the world's business, but to some people, it matters."