by Jaci Burton
They waved him off and went in the opposite direction. Logan stopped at the bar and grabbed a beer, which he didn't have to pay for. Nice. He took a long swallow, and after today, the cold brew tasted great. He wandered around, seeing a crowd and a lot of noise, so he went to investigate.
And there she was, in the middle of a throng of press. Des was dressed in something red and sparkly--and short, her legs looking sexier than he had ever seen because she also wore killer high heels. Her hair was curled and partially piled up, and she had makeup on--not on-the-set makeup, but getting-her-picture-taken-by-professionals kind of makeup, with her lips all glossy and kissable.
He'd never seen anyone look more gorgeous.
"So tell us, Desiree, how did the shoot go?"
"It went well. Colt and I worked incredibly well together, as always." She turned to the side, and the dress bared her shoulders, and her back. All of her back.
Christ. She was just . . . So. Damn. Sexy.
"And how did you handle the Oklahoma heat? It's one of their hottest summers."
"I managed just fine. There's a lot to like about the land here. And with all the trees, there's plenty of shade."
"But we heard the shoot was pretty brutal. No trees on the barren landscape of Quazena, the post-apocalyptic planet where these scenes were set."
She turned and smiled at the cameras, and the effect was devastating. "That's true. But the crew takes very good care of us, and Theo Winfield is a very generous director who doesn't overwork his actors."
Logan wanted to laugh. Des was the one who was generous, considering how much of an asshole Theo was. Theo should consider himself lucky she hadn't thrown him under the bus and told the press what a womanizing, cheating prick the guy was.
"Any on-set romances brewing? Like between you and your costar, Colt Stevens?"
She didn't even hesitate. "Colt and I have been friends for many years. That's all it's been between us, though I feel we have wonderful chemistry on film. You'll see that when Lost Objectives releases in two weeks. I hope you'll all be there to see it. It's a great movie. I think it's one of Colt's finest performances."
Des was in her element, fielding questions easily, deflecting those she didn't want to answer without insulting the press.
This was what she was born to do. She took his breath away. No wonder she loved this acting thing so much. Not only was she good at sinking into a part, but there was a glow about her when she was the center of attention. Not that there was an ego involved, because as far as he'd seen, she didn't have any. But she was an entirely different person now that she was dressed up, fielding questions, and talking about her craft.
The press ate it up, snapping pictures, asking her questions, and surrounding her.
She was a goddamned movie star.
And as he watched her playing to the press, he realized he had no choice.
He had to let her go. She no more belonged in his world than he belonged in hers.
The thought of it caused an ache in his chest, as if someone had reached in there and snatched out his goddamned heart.
Maybe they had. Des had.
He'd thought tonight they could talk about a way that they could possibly make this relationship between them work. Because he couldn't imagine her leaving this ranch and him never seeing her again.
But now, watching her tonight, he realized she would never be satisfied with someone like him, living in a place like this. The L&M ranch could never hold her, would never make her happy.
They might have fun for a little while. Just like his mom and dad had. But eventually, she'd be gone, craving the limelight and adventure, needing more than dust and cow shit and miles of nothing but land.
This wasn't the life for her.
And he wasn't the right man for her. She needed someone like Colt, who dressed up nice and made movies like she did and looked good standing next to her. Not a dusty cowboy who knew nothing about this business.
When she finished with the press, she stopped and said hello to a few people, then made her way over to him.
"You look good," she said. "I want to kiss you, but the press is still here and I don't think you want to be on the front page of some entertainment website tomorrow."
"No, I don't. And you look gorgeous."
She smiled. "Thank you."
"You really know how to handle the press."
"Thanks. Years of experience in learning what to say and what not to say. And typically, they ask the same types of questions over and over again, so it's just a matter of knowing the right answers."
"You did well."
"Did you get something to eat? They catered in a bunch of fancy food."
"I'm still full from dinner."
"Okay. Once the press leaves, I want to talk to you about something."
"Yeah, I want to talk to you, too."
She grinned. "Hopefully it's the same thing."
He doubted it, but still, he didn't want to ruin the high she was obviously on, so he smiled at her. "I'm going to let you mingle with the important people. I think I'll track down where Martha and Ben wandered off to."
She laid her hand on his arm. "I'll catch up with you in a bit?"
"Yeah."
He started to wander off.
"Logan?"
He stopped. "Yeah?"
"Thanks for coming tonight. It means a lot to me that you're here."
He nodded, gave her a smile, and walked away.
Her sweetness, her trust in him, that was going to kill him, knowing what he was going to do later.
DES WAS SO tired of smiling for the cameras, of having to answer the same questions over and over again about the movie and her personal life and whether or not she'd talked to James lately and how she and Colt were getting along and if they had started up a romance. It was like the press had a wish that every leading man and leading lady who were single were going to have a romance. She understood it was a Hollywood thing, but how many times did she have to tell them that she and Colt were just friends? She was ever so grateful when the press's time was up and they were escorted off the property.
The best part of tonight was that Tony had come to be here with Colt. It was the beginning of the two of them being together in the open. Colt had decided he wasn't going to make some grand announcement, he was just going to start being with Tony, living with him, and at some point in an interview, he'd mention how long they'd been together as a couple and leave it at that. And then maybe it wouldn't be such a big thing if he didn't make a big thing of it.
Des hoped so.
Colt and Tony sat together at a table in the corner. She waved as she walked past them. Colt blew her a kiss and Tony smiled and waved.
Theo's wife was in attendance tonight, so he stuck to her like glue, on his best behavior for the press. He'd stood beside her and proclaimed the shoot had gone smoothly and that both his leads had performed to perfection. While barely standing within two feet of Des.
Ha.
She found Logan at a table near the bar, sitting with Ben and Martha. Martha's cheeks were pink with excitement, and every time one of the actors walked by, she'd snap a picture. Des wandered over.
"Oh, Des, you look so beautiful tonight," Martha said. "Like a true movie star."
"You do clean up pretty," Ben said.
"Thank you both," she said, sliding into a chair.
"Are you finished with all your work for the night?" Martha asked.
"Yes."
"What can I get you to drink?" Logan asked.
"A club soda with lime would be great."
Logan stood. "Anyone else?"
"Oh, we're fine here, I think, Logan, but thank you," Martha said.
While Logan wandered over to the bar, Martha asked, "So what's next for you?"
"There's a premiere of my next movie in a couple of weeks. Plus, I have to do some finishing work on this one at the studio. So I head back to L.A."
Martha took her hand. "We're going to
miss you."
"I'm going to miss you, too."
"When do you leave?"
"Tomorrow."
Martha's eyes brimmed with tears. "Oh, so soon?"
"I'm afraid so." Des fought back tears of her own.
"Will you come back and visit us sometime?"
"Well, I have been invited to Emma and Luke's wedding."
"Oh, it'll be so wonderful to see you again. But I'm hoping you'll be back before then."
She sighed. "We'll see. I hope so, too." Her fingers were crossed she'd be seeing a lot more of Martha and Ben.
"Here you go." Logan handed Des her drink.
"Thank you. All that talking I had to do made me thirsty." She took a few sips of her club soda.
"I think we've had enough of all the partying," Martha said. "I'm going to wander through the crowd, snap a few more photos, and then we're going to head out for the night."
Martha and Ben stood.
"Thank you for coming."
Martha scooped her into a hug. "You're welcome here anytime."
"Thank you for making me feel so at home, so much like a part of your family."
Martha kissed her cheek, then Ben hugged her and they left.
"That was hard."
"What was?" Logan asked.
"Saying good-bye to Martha and Ben."
"Oh. Well, you have a lot of things to do back in L.A. Soon you'll forget all about us here."
She frowned. "I don't think so. This place has become like home for me."
He laughed. "The way you're dressed tonight? You couldn't be further from looking like you belong here."
"That's just for show. I'm way more comfortable in a pair of jeans and tennis shoes than I ever am dressed up like this."
"You look like you should be dressed like that all the time, Des. You look amazing."
"Thank you. But this isn't who I am. This is just an act."
He didn't say anything more to that, and then they wandered through the crowds, stopped and visited with various members of the crew.
"There's Colt," Logan said. "I didn't know your friend Tony was in town."
"He is."
They went over to their table.
"Hey, Logan," Colt said. "Why don't you two take a seat?"
Des and Logan sat.
"What brings you back in town, Tony?" Logan asked.
Tony looked over at Colt, and Colt nodded.
"I wanted to congratulate my boyfriend on completing his movie."
Logan looked over at Colt, who was smiling at Tony. It didn't take Logan more than a few seconds to make the connection. He looked at Des, who nodded.
"Oh. I didn't know."
"No one did. Until now," Colt said. "I'm not making an announcement. Tony and I have been together for a long time. I'm just tired of hiding it."
"Why should you hide it? You should be with whoever the hell you want to be with. I wish you two the best of luck."
Des watched as Colt visibly exhaled. "Thanks for that, Logan. You don't even know how much that means to Tony and me."
Tony nodded. "Agreed. Seriously, man. Thanks."
Logan shrugged. "You're welcome, but I don't know why anyone would make a big deal over who you love. I know they do, but it's bullshit and none of their goddamn business."
Colt looked over at Des. "Why can't everyone be like Logan?"
"Why not, indeed?" She grasped Colt's hand. "It's going to be okay."
They ended up staying to hang out with Tony and Colt until the party started breaking up. Then Des went to her trailer to change into a sundress and sandals, taking her hair down and brushing it out. She washed her makeup off and felt normal again.
She'd told Logan she'd come to his house after she changed, so she hopped into one of the SUVs and drove over to the ranch. Her stomach tightened when she drove up to the big white house, knowing she was leaving tomorrow and how much she was going to miss this place that she now thought of as hers. Ridiculous, of course. It wasn't her home.
She got out of the SUV and saw all the dogs running over to her. She was going to miss them as much as everyone else.
"Hi, babies." She knelt down and petted them. She stuck her face in their fur and hugged them close.
Logan was on the front porch waiting for her as she climbed the stairs.
"It's like seeing Cinderella poof into the scullery maid at midnight."
"Hey. I take exception to that. Are you intimating that I'm dowdy now?"
He laughed. "You could never be dowdy. Now you're just regular beautiful instead of glamorous beautiful."
She walked up to him and twined her arms around his neck. "I'll accept that as a compliment."
"Good. Because it was intended as one."
They went inside and to the living room. She led him over to the sofa. "So I have a question to ask you."
"You're not gonna get down on one knee and ask me to marry you, are you?"
She laughed. "No, cowboy. I might be a little unconventional in some areas, but in that, I'm traditional."
They took a seat and she turned to him. "So the premiere of the last movie Colt and I made together is two weeks from now. I want you to attend with me."
He frowned. "Like a big movie premiere in L.A.?"
"Yes."
He shook his head. "I don't think so. Thanks for asking, though."
"No, you don't understand. It's a really big deal. We'd dress up, you'd get to wear a tux, I wear a fancy dress. We watch the movie, then there are parties."
"Yeah, Des. I do get it. And that's not my thing."
She stared at him. "What do you mean that's not your thing?"
"I mean this is where it ends for us. Hollywood is your life, not mine."
She felt like a knife had been stuck in her heart. This is where it ends for us.
"Surely you don't mean that. Yes, the whole Hollywood thing is a part of my life. Movie premieres are such a small part, though. But you've become a large part of it, and I thought you might want to share it with me."
"My life is here on the ranch. It always was and always will be."
"So what does that mean? That we're through?"
"Yeah, that's exactly what I mean. I can't be a part of your Hollywood life."
She wasn't going to just give up. Not without a fight. "You need to learn to bend, Logan, to be flexible. You know what we have together is worth it."
He stood. "We don't have anything together, Des. We had fun while you were here, and now it's over. Your life is traveling all over the world, and going to those movie premieres, and standing in front of the press being a star. My life is here on the ranch, standing ankle deep in cow shit. And this is where I'm content to be. I wouldn't be happy in a tux attending your movie premiere."
She lifted her chin. "So you'd be unwilling to bend, just a little, so we could be together. You couldn't be even a little bit flexible."
"You know what? I'm the most goddamn flexible person I've ever known. I've bent to everyone else's needs my entire life. It's about damn time someone bent to my needs and my wants."
"Really. And what is it that you want, Logan? What is it that you feel you need that you're not getting?"
He didn't answer, and then she knew.
"I see. You want me to give up my dreams for you."
He shot her a look. "Absolutely not. I'd never ask that of you. And that's the problem. You and me--we don't fit together. We never have. And all the wishing in the world isn't gonna make it happen. Give it up, Des."
She stood. "I didn't ask you to change your life for me, Logan. I would never do that. I thought you and I had something together. That we could figure out how to merge our lives together and make it work."
She paused, then looked at him. "I'm in love with you. The thought of walking away from you hurts my heart and tears away at my soul. So I wanted to share a piece of my life with you by asking you to be my date at the movie premiere. Not to leave your life but to invite you to glimpse a piece of mine
. If you can't even bend a little for that, then you're right. We have nothing together, and we never did."
She grabbed her keys off the coffee table and walked out. Tears pricked her eyes, blinding her as she made her way out the front door and into the SUV. She started it up, a part of her hoping and wishing that Logan would come running out of the house after her.
She wasn't surprised when he didn't.
She drove back to the set and made her way back to the trailer, forcing back the pain and the tears that threatened to tear her apart until she got into her trailer and shut and locked the door.
Only then did she give in. She went into her bedroom and curled up on the bed, grabbed her pillow, and sobbed.
LOGAN SAT ON the sofa, unable to move. It wasn't in him to deliberately hurt someone the way he'd hurt Des.
But hadn't that been what he'd done to her over and over again since they'd been together? He'd hurt her. And the last thing he wanted to do was keep hurting her.
Seeing the pain in her eyes when he'd said the things he'd said nearly tore him apart. He almost changed his mind right then, nearly pulled her into his arms and told her that he was lying, that he loved her and would move heaven and earth to keep her in his life.
But that wasn't what was best for Des and he knew it, so he'd lied and told her he didn't care enough about her to do whatever it took to make it work.
Now his heart was in shreds and the woman he loved had just walked out of his life.
And his house was emptier than it had ever been before.
He walked through the house and turned out all the lights, then headed upstairs to bed.
Alone.
He was used to that, had done it for years. It had become his comfort and his solace.
It had become his hell.
Until Des had come into his life and changed it all.
But now he was alone again.
And hell had moved back in.
Chapter 23
A WEEK AND a half after Des had left, Logan took an uncharacteristic night off and headed to his friend Bash's bar. It was a quiet, middle-of-the-week night and all he wanted was to watch some baseball and drink beer.
The one thing he could count on when hanging out with Bash was quiet. He could drink beer, they'd watch sports together, and they wouldn't have to talk about anything.
Or at least that's how it used to be.
"So how are things going with you and the hot actress?" Bash asked.
"That's over."
"Sorry to hear that. I thought you two had something that might last."
Logan took several long swallows of beer before answering. "Not sure why you'd think that."