by Lexi Ryan
“Could it be the same person who came after the journal?” she said, but she was talking more to herself than to him.
Martin gave her a confused smile. “I’m sorry, dear. What journal?”
Josie ignored him as ideas clicked into place in her mind. “That’s why they didn’t come after me,” she said. “I was reading the journal and didn’t understand why they didn’t come for me after the murders. But if they knew I wasn’t a virgin…” She trailed off, feeling the weight lift off her shoulders. She lifted her gaze and locked it with the doctor’s. “I don’t have to do it,” she whispered.
Martin smiled. “No, dear, you don’t have to do anything but live your life.”
Could he have known how much she needed to hear those words?
Standing, Martin clapped his hands together. “Now there’s also the little matter of what you were doing in my lab.”
Heat flamed in Josie’s cheeks. “I was looking for answers.”
“And what did you find?”
Josie narrowed her eyes—had he seen them take Tanner’s file?—but the man’s genial face roused no further suspicion. “I found you.”
“Indeed, you did.” He turned to the door then paused. “Listen, I was in the position to help your parents ten years ago, and I wanted to, but there are people who would have done anything to stop me.”
“And it appears they did.”
“Yes, I’m so sorry.” He fidgeted with his tie, then said, “I’ve never gotten over that feeling I was being watched, and I don’t know how those people would respond if they knew I came here today.” He attempted a smile. “If you see me again, could you…”
“I’ll act as if we’ve never met.”
His shoulders sagged with relief. “Thank you.”
She saw him to the door and shut it behind him. You don’t have to do anything but live your life.
He was wrong, of course. There were still so many unanswered questions, and she couldn’t stop searching. But not going through with the DNA conversion meant she could continue to live as herself—meant she didn’t have to risk her own life in the dangerous procedure.
Tanner materialized before her and she jumped.
“Jesus, Tanner, don’t do that!”
His face split into a grin. “You’d think you’d be used to it by now.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”
“I’m sorry I had to go.” Tanner lowered himself into a chair. He studied her, concern furrowing his brow. “How are you feeling?”
“It’s just been an odd week.” Understatement of the century.
He looked at his hands. “Listen, Josie, we need to talk.”
She was ready to talk. Ready to tell Tanner all she knew. “My mother’s journal held encrypted messages about their plans to escape,” she blurted, and Tanner straightened. Clearly, he hadn’t expected her to open up without some coaxing, but she saw no reason to hide this from him. Not now. “I just discovered the code this weekend and had only cracked the first twenty pages when it was stolen.”
He leaned forward, elbows on thighs. “What did it say?”
Her throat felt thick and swollen, but she was determined to tell it without crying. Martin had brought good news, and she wanted to enjoy that feeling. “My parents were Ascendants.”
“Josie—”
She shook her head and held up a hand. “No. Don’t. They were trying to leave. They were charged with a mission they no longer believed in, and they were meeting with a geneticist who was going to alter their DNA to permanently change their appearances.”
“I was here while Martin was talking to you,” he admitted. “I heard your conversation.”
“I should have figured.” She shrugged, then forced a smile. “I would be more surprised if the SIA stayed out of my business.”
He stood, his features hard. “My reason for being there had nothing to do with my position with the SIA.”
She locked eyes with him. “Okay.”
He joined her on the couch and studied his hands. “Josie, do you know anything about DNA conversion?”
“Only that it was important to my mother that I have it done. My mother described the process as working in the same way a Shifter can change shape and identity—only permanent.”
“Did you know Specials have been experimenting with DNA conversion for nearly fifty years?”
She shook her head.
He turned and his eyes burned into hers. “They die. It doesn’t work. Shifters shift, but the rest of us die.”
She’d known the risk was there, but Tanner made it sound like suicide. “It’s a good thing I don’t have to go through with it then, I guess.”
He pulled her against him and squeezed her to his chest. “I stopped breathing when I heard you ask Martin about it.” He pushed her away so she was looking at him. “Tell me you won’t consider it again.”
“I can’t promise that,” she whispered. “I’ve seen what the Ascendants want. I can’t be responsible for that.”
He let out a long breath and pulled her against his chest again. “Tell me about what you found in the journal. What was this mission that your parents wanted out of?”
She settled into him, feeling his heart pound against her cheek, and loving that he was so outraged by the idea of losing her. “I don’t know. The code was...complex. It doubled back on itself and relied on obscure patterns that changed periodically. The journal itself appears to be about day-to-day goings-on of a middle-class American family. I couldn’t tell you how many times I read it before discovering these hidden messages.”
“And you think she intended the messages for you?”
“Yes. I think she knew they wouldn’t kill me and she left the journal because she wanted me to follow through with the DNA conversion. But I didn’t get a chance to finish decoding the journal, so I don’t know. That’s the worst part. The journal is gone, so now I’ll never know.”
He combed her hair with his fingertips. The heat of his body warmed her cheek. “Martin said you aren’t a risk to anyone anymore.”
She released her breath. “Yes, but it would be so reassuring to know what else was in that journal. Just…to know what she wanted for me.”
“Josie,” he said, “I think your parents would just want you to be happy.”
She sighed. “I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore.”
He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She smiled. It felt so good to touch him like this. To have her head rise and fall with the rhythm of his breath.
She looked up at him and smiled.
He opened his mouth, as if to say more, but then only nodded, as if thinking better of it. Gently, he pushed her away and stood, a pained look on his face. “You need to get some sleep. I won’t keep you.”
He was two steps to the door when she stopped him. “Wiley?”
He turned. “Yeah?”
She didn’t want him to leave. You don’t have to do anything but live your life. “Can you stay?” she asked. “I have some wine, and I don’t want to drink alone.” She didn’t want to be alone. Not when freedom to live her life as she chose stretched before her like a gift.
He studied her for a long beat. The air drew taut between them, as if time alone had the power to pull them together.
Maybe it did. Suddenly, she could accept that. What had she been so afraid of?
“I’d be happy to.”
She hopped up from the couch and scurried into the kitchen, running from the inevitable even as she asked it to stay.
She poured two glasses of red wine and returned to the living area. He sat on the couch this time, she noticed, and she lowered herself to sit next to him. Nerves sparked in her belly.
“Thanks,” he said as she handed him a glass.
They each sipped, silence pulsing around them like an erotic invitation.
“So, Darian and Paige are planning their wedding,” she said, more because she wanted to break the silence than
because she really wanted to talk about her friend’s wedding.
Tanner smirked. “Yeah, it’s about time. She’s had him hook, line, and sinker since that night she seduced him in Eden.”
“He told you about that?”
“What?” Tanner shrugged. “Like you girls don’t talk to each other when you’re having romantic difficulties?”
“Well, yeah, but guys are…” She trailed off.
“Different? The difference is we don’t include quite so many details, but we still talk.”
She giggled. “Have you ever talked to Darian about your love life?”
Tanner sighed. “My SIA partners have become my best friends. You know how it is. And, yeah, when I have to choose between going to Darian or Fernandez for romance advice, Darian wins hands down every time.” He groaned. “Of course, occasionally I’m desperate and Darian’s not available. That’s always a mistake.”
Josie relaxed a little. This was what she needed. “I don’t even want to know what Fernandez would consider romance advice.”
“Yeah, he’s really in the Just Say No camp.”
She laughed again and more tension leaked from her body. “Darian knows better, though. Paige is the best thing that ever happened to him. I just hope he knows how lucky he is.”
“Oh, I think he does.”
Josie studied her wine. She loved everything about wine: the way it looked in a glass, the way it felt on her tongue, and the way it warmed down to her belly and made every sense alive. “I hope so.” Suddenly, she felt guilty for keeping so much from her friends this week. But now that she didn’t have to go through with a DNA conversion, she could tell them all she knew—and didn’t know. She would tell them. Tomorrow. “There’s no woman as smart, loving, or beautiful as Paige.”
“I don’t know about that,” Tanner said, his voice rough at the edges.
Josie lifted her head, and he was watching her, his gaze hot on hers before dropping to her mouth. As he lowered his head to kiss her, she let everything go but the feel of his heat near her and the tug of desire between her legs.
Suddenly he seemed closer. The heat that radiated off his body seeped into her core, soothing the old hurts she kept bottled there.
Josie swallowed as the ball of warmth melted and dipped deeper, touching and feeding the pulsing ache between her legs.
His gaze shifted to her mouth.
“You know someone better than Paige?” God, she’d been trying for sassy, but it had come out as a husky whisper because all she could think was Kiss me. Touch me. Don’t make me wait. I’ve waited six months.
“Josie.” Her name slipped from his lips like a desperate plea, a surrender to whatever persistent fate they’d been fighting. He lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers.
The kiss was as tentative as it was gentle. But the slide of his hand into her hair and the way his palm cupped her chin proved his desire.
He kissed and drew back in the familiar courtship of lips, tongues, and kisses.
“Kiss me again, Tanner.”
He did. His mouth took hers and his tongue swept inside—hungry, needy, desperate.
Lust pooled in her center. Her breasts grew heavy. Her sex throbbed. She kissed him back and gloried at the heat of his body so near hers. Finally.
She shifted and pulled him down over her, craving the weight of him on her body, the full heat and power and strength of him. She was faintly aware of the soft thudding of her wine glass hitting the rug, but she didn’t care because he was moving over her. She spread her legs to feel him nestle there, between her thighs where she needed his weight, his heat, needed the solid mass of his hard cock.
His hand ran down her side and back up. She bucked slightly underneath him, wanting that hand on her breasts and between her legs.
He pulled away, a wicked, boyish grin on his face. “Remind me again why we’ve never done this before.”
“I don’t know. But hurry.” She reached between them and untied her robe, let it slide down her shoulders.
Tanner’s breath left him in a rush, his eyes glued to her breasts, which were swollen and straining against the yellow lace of her bra. “Jesus, Josie, you couldn’t be any more beautiful.”
She tugged at his shirt, and his devil-may-care grin returned before he peeled it off for her.
It was Josie’s turn to lose her breath. “Not so bad yourself. You...” She trailed off as his big hands grazed her breasts through her bra, drawing out her nipples with his fingertips.
She looped her fingers through his belt loops and tugged him down on top of her. He replaced his fingertips with his mouth, and the heat of his tongue through the lace of her bra had her moaning desperately.
“Harder,” she said, arching under him.
He drew her nipple into his mouth, and she rolled her hips, searching for the solid length of his cock. When she found it and could feel how hard he was through his jeans, an involuntary moan came from deep in her throat.
As he settled between her legs, her sex flooded. Her need for him shifted past desire to something more inevitable, something fated.
“Tanner, I want you—”
He cut her off with his mouth on hers, his hands all the while toying with her nipples, cradling her breasts. “Don’t rush me,” he whispered as he finally broke their kiss. “I’ve wanted you for too long to let you rush me now.”
She let out a frustrated growl, but didn’t dare argue. Every touch of his hand, every stroke of his tongue on her body was too intense to deny.
Trailing his hot mouth down her neck, he worked a hand to the opening in her robe and cupped her sex. She rocked into his palm instinctively, wanting more, wanting his fingers inside her.
“I have to taste you there, Josie. I need to taste all of you.” As he whispered the words, deft fingers found her clit through the lace of her panties.
She swallowed the desperate scream that lodged in her throat. “Just…hurry.”
Tanner made fast work of removing her robe and panties. He knelt before her on the floor. Lifting her at her hips, he turned her to face him and placed her ankles his shoulders. She’d seen this before her shower. She’d seen it and been wet with wanting it since.
“Tanner,” she whispered, “please, don’t make me wait.”
His eyes were hot on hers as he slid a finger between the slick heat of her labia. “Honey, I’m about to prove just how much I’m worth waiting for.”
When he lowered his mouth to her sex and trailed his tongue over her swollen clit, she abandoned her protests and concentrated on not coming apart at the first touch of his mouth.
He worked her with his tongue, tasting her, licking her, suckling her clit until she wanted to beg for his cock. And when he slid two fingers inside her at the same moment as he brought her clit between his lips, she came apart, rocking against his hand and mouth and riding the pleasure as it climbed and pulled at her, holding onto it until it burst and she was left a satisfied pile of limbs and loose muscles.
She dropped her legs from his shoulders. “Come here.”
“I have wanted to taste you since the first time I saw you.”
“Then why didn’t you just say so?”
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Hell, that would have worked? Hello, my name’s Tanner and I want to put my face between your legs.”
She drew him forward and kissed him, the flavor of her sex still on his lips. “Not a chance.”
It was her turn now, and as she carefully unzipped his jeans over his bulge, he closed his eyes and groaned appreciatively.
“The bedroom?” he asked, standing and sliding his jeans and boxers off his hips.
She licked her lips at the sight of his cock. Long and solid, she suddenly knew she’d never wanted to do anything as much as she wanted to suck him into her mouth. “Who needs a bedroom?” she muttered, seizing the opportunity to drop to her knees before him.
She drew her tongue along the underside of his shaft before sliding her lips o
ver the rigid length of him.
“Jesus, Josie,” he groaned, “I’m not done with you yet.”
She cupped his balls with her palm and his cock jerked. Relaxing her throat, she took him deeply into her mouth to taste the whole length of him.
“Sweet Jesus,” he groaned, fisting a hand in her hair. “I can’t handle much more of that.”
Torn between wanting to feel him come in her mouth and wanting to feel him inside her, she applied a little more pressure to his balls and quickened the movements of her lips and tongue. She could feel him getting closer, his stance growing more rigid every time she returned his shaft deep into her mouth.
With a tortured groan, he stepped away. “I need to be inside you.”
She licked her lips. The taste of him lingered there. “Do you have a condom?”
He snatched his jeans from the floor and dug in the back pocket until he emerged with a foil packet.
“Let me,” she said. The need to have her hands on his cock again pounded through her like her own blood.
She removed the condom from the packet and slowly slid it over the length of his shaft. Her thighs clenched in anticipation. She wanted this man inside her. Wanted it now. “Couch,” she said, pushing at his hips.
With a smirk, he lowered himself to the couch. “Yes, ma’am.”
She straddled him, and as she lowered himself onto his thick length, she fought to keep her eyes open against the pleasure so she could watch his—the way they widened and, as she enveloped him with her sex, the way they rolled back and his mouth dropped open as she moved slowly, letting her body stretch to take all of him.
She rocked on top of him, watching his eyes as she rode him.
As they found their rhythm, his hands went to her breasts. Her muscles clenched as he toyed with her nipples, and he groaned in response.
“You feel so damn good,” he murmured.
When he reached one hand between their bodies, the other still at her breast, she lost control. He stroked her clit with his thumb, and she abandoned any thought but her own pleasure, riding, sliding, rubbing against him as it climbed. Faster, harder. She pushed herself and her pleasure. She rode the edge of release but denied it. She didn’t want this to end.