All I wanted to do was be happy and my dad wasn’t going to let it happen. I feared for what was to come and almost wished Shayne had never bought the house.
The worst part was that he’d made a huge investment. If the house did get condemned, he’d lose so much. My family would be the reason for it, and as much as I didn’t want to feel responsible, I was.
By the time Shayne climbed into bed beside me, I’d calmed down. His hand slid over my abdomen and I felt his breath on my neck. “You okay, Ash?”
At first I wasn’t going to answer, but knowing that Shayne felt bad didn’t sit right with me. “I’m sorry about my dad.”
He moved away as I turned to face him. The pale light of the moon came in the window, giving us enough to see each other. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for.”
We played with each other’s fingers, before finally holding hands. “I don’t get why he’s bein’ like this. When I got pregnant all he wanted was for me to get an abortion. Now, all of the sudden he’s so worried about my wellbeing. Shayne, you have to know that I’ve never even considered leavin’ you. You make me happy and I know how much the twins mean to you. He’s lost his mind if he thinks he could do anything that would change those feelin’s for me.”
“Baby, I’m not mad at you. I’m pissed that I can’t start workin’ tomorrow. I’ve worked for weeks to make this all go as smoothly as possible. Now, I’ve got new hurdles. It’s fine. We’ll work around them and make that house everything we could ever want. Why don’t we take the twins to the hardware store tomorrow and start gettin’ ideas. I’m sure it will take a while and I’d rather do it together anyway.”
I kissed him tenderly, realizing how patient he was being about everything. “It sounds like a perfect date.”
“We can pack a bag with formula and bring your pump, just in case. I’m sure there’s a quiet place I could park to give you enough privacy.”
It was little things, like that comment that made me appreciate who I was with.
The room was quiet and I started to doze off again.
That’s when I heard his next sentence. “Ash, I’ve never strayed, not with you. The thought has never crossed my mind. I swear it on the twins. You’re dad doesn’t know me.”
“I never questioned it. He’s desperate. Look, I don’t know what’s up with him and that property, but this can’t just be about you buyin’ it. There’s somethin’ he’s not tellin’ us.”
“I don’t even care. He’s not goin’ to stop us.” He kissed me on my nose after reassuring me that he was fine. “I love you.”
I smiled, even though he couldn’t see me, because I turned my body away from him. “I love you, too.”
I woke up a few hours later with a horrible headache. The pain was so excruciating that it was impossible for me to get comfortable to rest. I took medicine, but it wouldn’t alleviate the pressure, so I went out into the living room and started watching the home improvement channels.
As daylight approached I woke to someone touching my cheek. Shayne was holding Beka and feeding her a bottle. He had it propped under his chin to hold it up while he got my attention. “Hey,” he whispered. “You okay?”
“I had this terrible headache.” I sat up and felt the pain still lingering. “It’s still not gone.”
“We don’t’ have to go anywhere.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m sure it’s just stress from yesterday. I want to go. Last night I watched this show where they did a nursery. I loved the colors and can’t wait to show it to you. I recorded the reveal part for you to watch.”
Shayne had already changed Beka and fed her half of a bottle before he handed her to me. Within seconds he was back with a fresh glass of ice-water and two pills. “Here’s some migraine medicine. I keep a bottle in my bedside table. I used to get them from bein’ on the computer for hours at a time.”
“Thank you,” I said as he leaned over and kissed my head. He hadn’t shaved yet and his facial hair tickled my face.
“I told Peyton not to bother comin’ over today. Today is about the four of us.”
I looked down at Beka. “Our family.” Saying it made me feel so happy. In the middle of feeling like someone had beat me with a bat, I could still smile knowing how lucky we were. How other people felt about Shayne was their business. I knew who he really was and how much he loved us.
Two hours later we were packing up the car and heading out to start making selections for our new home. After seeing the whole thing, and trusting in Shayne, I knew that it would be beautiful.
While he drove I reached over and held his hand. Every once in a while he’d lick his lips and wink at me. We were excited, and not letting my father, or anyone else get us down.
I looked out the window for what seemed like a minute, but realized we were already at the store. It was weird and I shook it off as being over-tired. Obviously, I hadn’t fallen asleep as I was sitting up with my eyes open.
Eli was on my side of the car and I quickly leaned in to get him out. Shayne was on the other side talking to Beka as if she could really respond to him. It was cute.
We got their seats hooked to two carts and walked into the store pushing them.
Being out in public with twins was always reason for people to stop and want to see them. Thankfully, they had fully bellies and were content and not screaming.
My head pounded and I started to feel a little dizzy. Shayne noticed me pressing on the bridge of my nose and had me sit down on a box of hardwood flooring. “Ash, is the pain that bad?”
“Why won’t it go away? I’ve never had a headache this bad before. Do you think it’s somethin’ in the house I inhaled?” I didn’t want to think my dad was right, but I could have inhaled some particles that were making me sick.
“I’m not sick and I’ve been there plenty of times. Do you want to go home?”
“No. I can handle it. I did give birth to twins, you know?”
He laughed. “I was there for every minute of it, baby. I was there to watch your vagina stretch and swell up like an alien. Trust me, I’ll never forget it.”
“What? You never told me that. Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed.” His comment shocked me. Sometimes Shayne’s sense of humor wasn’t as funny as it was literal.
“Don’t freak out. I’d already been warned about the swelling. If my old man was right about anything, it was that. Look Ash, childbirth was an experience that I will never forget. It was both beautiful and scary. Do you really want to talk about this in the flooring isle?”
I shrugged. “Not really.”
“Me either. So lets put a dent in this to-list.”
Shayne started bringing me paint color swatches and we chose the colors for the whole upstairs, including the bathrooms. He worked with a cabinet specialist designing the kitchen layout, while I sat next to him with a booklet to pick out the color and design of the doors. I was floored when I saw the cost of the kitchen, but Shayne reassured me that it included appliances and it was the largest purchase that he’d have to make. Still, it definitely was a shock to see that bottom line.
We took a break after that to go out and get some lunch. The pounding in my head was constant and I thought that grabbing something with caffeine would help. We visited a coffee shop and then grabbed a couple deli sandwiches and headed to a little park with picnic tables. The twins were starting to get fussy, so Shayne laid a blanket out and covered me up so that I could breastfeed. He hand fed me bites of my sandwich, while eating his own.
After I’d exhausted both breasts on two hungry little ones, I stood up to stretch. With little warning my food came back up and I started puking all over the grass. Shayne put Beka in her seat next to her brother and handed me a napkin. “Jesus, Ash. Are you alright?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. My head is makin’ me feel sick now. It hurts so bad.” I stood up straight to walk over to the table and felt my knees get weak. At the same time everything started to spin. “I’m goin’ to pass out!”
I yelled before everything turned black.
I woke up on the ground. Shayne had two child seats on one arm and was attempting to put me over his shoulder, while yelling for me to open my eyes. “Wait,” I managed to mutter.
He dropped my arm and looked right into my eyes. “Jesus Christ, Ash. We need to get you to the hospital. You just collapsed.”
“Just let me sit here for a second. Hand me my water.”
I did as he asked and I took a sip and closed the lid back up. Refusing to sit, he stood there waiting for me to address what had just happened. “It’s just a migraine. Lots of people throw up and get dizzy. My mom gets them all of the time. I’m not goin’ to the hospital and lookin’ like an idiot. Let’s just go home and I’ll lay down. It’s probably worse because I didn’t get much sleep.”
I’d felt fine the day before and was certain there was nothing to worry about. It wasn’t like they’d do anything more than give me a pill and have me rest. I’d just assume do all of that in the privacy of my own home with my family. It wasn’t a big deal.
After arriving home, Shayne put the twins in their bassinets and met me in the bedroom. He helped me change into something comfortable and climb into bed. Then he grabbed me a towel, dampened it and added ice, before holding it on my forehead. I had to admit that it did alleviate some of the pain, though the pressure remained. Once I’d reassured him that I could hold the towel, he left to me to rest. As much as I appreciated him tending to me, I hardly needed it for a lousy headache.
Exhaustion finally overwhelmed me and I closed my eyes. I focused on how exciting it was to select our kitchen and pick out the paint colors. We were moving toward our future together and that was enough to ease my mind of everything else.
Chapter 15
Shayne
I checked on her several times before sitting down and searching migraines on the Internet.
Note to self: Don’t ever look up medical issues on the Internet.
After reading about so many horrible things that it could possibly be, I closed the laptop and refused to believe that something could be seriously wrong. For the most part it said that migraines were common during stress and that dizziness and even and upset stomach could occur.
Knowing how much she needed her rest, I made sure the twins were fed one more time before climbing into bed beside her. Out of habit I checked her head for a temperature and kissed her softly on her cheek. Her towel had soaked her pillow, so I lifted it and replaced it with mine. Ash looked peaceful and was finally sleeping soundly.
When I finally got comfortable, I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling, thinking about all of the things that I needed to get done. Picking out stuff for the house was only half of the battle. I still had to get the contractor in as soon as the Asbestos workers were done and figure out how much of the work I was able to do myself.
Another big problem was dealing with Ashley’s asshole father. Though his opinions never seemed to matter much to Ash, he still got to us. I could sense the stress between us after his unannounced visit. What pissed me off the most was that I’d gone out on my own and done right by Ash and the twins. I’d bought a house to move into where the children could grow and have room to run around and be safe. I’d taken care of Ash and been by her side for every step of her pregnancy and the birth. I was the one that got up with her at night to feed and change them. It was me who sang them to sleep and worried when she was sick.
That man barely called her. He’d stopped by zero times since we’d been home and I was sure that her mother was in the same boat.
Ever since we’d moved in together, back before we were even a couple, they’d been against me. I don’t know if it was because she’d been with my cousin, Ford, for so long, or just that they disliked me. Whatever it was, I was positive that they were going to continue to try to wedge themselves between us.
Then my mind went back to Ash.
The best decision I ever made was giving her my heart.
I’d waited for so long to be able to have every part of her, and never could have imagined it would be more than I’d ever expected. Being a guy, I’d always thought sex was pretty much the same with every woman. They either laid there letting the guy do everything, or sometimes they’d even take charge. I never understood what people meant when they said they were making love, instead of just fucking.
It wasn’t until my first time with Ash that I’d experienced that difference. I felt like her body was made for mine, and no other woman, not even Lacey could compare to how Ash made me feel.
Maybe I was becoming soft, after falling so hard for the twins. All I knew was that I’d die before I gave up any of them and I didn’t see that ever changing.
I rolled over in the bed and started thinking about our future. I could see the kids playing in that big yard. Beka was going to have her mother’s dark- wavy hair, while Eli’s hair was still light. Granted, they were still too young to know for sure. I just had this feeling.
One good thing was that my brother resembled me. If either of the kids started to favor him, the family would assume it was me. It still bothered me that I’d pretty much adopted my brother’s kids, but in light of the situation they were never his. He’d never wanted them, or even admitted to anyone else that he and Ashley had one drunken night together.
Thinking about that night, even though they barely remembered it, made me jealous. I don’t know why. I had a girlfriend at the time and Ashley wasn’t even someone that I would ever consider dating. Still, my blood boiled when I thought about my brother being with her. In such a short time I felt so protective of her, like nobody else ever had a right to touch her the way that I do.
Sometimes I even thought about Ash and Ford. They were high school sweethearts and she’d always been attached to his arm at every holiday dinner or family event.
I’d never asked Ford how he felt about me being with Ash. Frankly, there was nothing he could do about it. Leaving her was never an option. All it took was one night of us confessing our feelings and the rest was history.
In fact, when Ford did find out he laughed in my face and told me that he wished me luck. Ford also assumed that Ashley still partied the way she did before she found out she was pregnant. He couldn’t see the good in her any longer and it was a shame. I know in some ways she would like to at least have a friendship with him, if not for their past, but for the sake of our family.
Him giving me a job actually shocked me. I honestly didn’t see him calling me back with a position. I was eager to start, but nervous that he’d be my boss. At any moment he could fire me and humiliate me in front of the whole company.
I laughed to myself thinking about all of the things running through my head at once. I needed to sleep, to be able to deal with the Asbestos company in the morning, but my head was all over the place.
Ashley stirred and I wrapped my arm around her. She cozied her back against my chest and I kicked off my covers because her hot skin was making me sweat. After a few minutes I couldn’t take it anymore and rolled back over. I covered us both back up and remembered why we never cuddled for long.
The last thing I thought about, before finally falling asleep, was something I knew I would someday need to do. After the house was ready, and we were all moved in, I was going to buy Ashley a ring. I knew we weren’t in a hurry, but I wanted her to have one, to know that I was promising a future with her. The twins already had my name, so it only made sense that one day she would also share it.
When I felt myself falling asleep I had a smile on my face. My life was perfect and I didn’t understand how I’d gotten so lucky after making so many mistakes.
I opened my eyes one last time and looked up at the dark ceiling, whispering so I didn’t wake up the sleeping beauty next to me. “Thank you for giving me this life. I won’t let you down. I promise.”
All jokes aside, in my heart I knew that divine intervention had led me to that very moment. I was supposed to be there and nothing could ma
ke me think otherwise. I might have screwed up every other thing I’d ever had my hands in, but I knew this was something that I’d ever give up on.
Not ever.
Chapter 16
Ashley
I woke up to the sound of Shayne snoring. While moving to a sitting position I noticed that my head was still hurting. Figuring that it was time for another dose of medication, I got up and headed into the bathroom. My eyes had dark rings underneath them and my vision seemed blurry. Chalking it up to being half-asleep, I took my pills and got a drink from the kitchen.
As I sat there trying to think of ways to relieve my pain, my mind went to what I swore was the cause of the whole problem.
My dad.
Why couldn’t he just accept that I was happy?
Another issue I had was the fact that he was determined to do whatever it took to make us not be able to move into the old farmhouse. To be honest, it made me love it even more. Like when I was a child, I always wanted what I wasn’t supposed to have.
My parents had asked me plenty of times what I saw in Shayne. Not that it was any of their business, but I didn’t exactly have an answer. I’d moved in with him after being desperate. I’d watched him trying to win back his girlfriend, while still talking to others. I’d watched him fail at making amends with his family, and then I’d watched him meet someone new and have hope again.
None of those reasons could explain how I fell in love with him. I did, however remember when I knew for sure that it was happening to me.
We’d had a long talk about love and what it meant. I was only offering him my honest advice, but as the words came out of my mouth, especially pertaining to not wanting to spend a day without the person in your life, I felt it. Much to my surprise it wasn’t Ford that popped in my head.
It was Shayne.
Then hiding my feelings became suddenly hard.
His touches were innocent, yet meant so much to me. The little things, like when he covered me with a blanket, or carried me to my room if I’d fallen asleep on the couch. Day after day Shayne kept giving me more reasons to love him.
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