“Then take a little more.”
She pushed him over, rolling him onto his back. He loved to watch her take control. The hunger and determination on her face were an aphrodisiac. She gave him one look of pure mischief before placing a teasing kiss on the head of his cock. His breath caught in his chest. When she pulled the entire length of his semihard shaft into her mouth, he thought he would die of lust.
Her lips closed on the sensitive skin as her tongue swirled around the flange. He clenched his hands in the sheets to keep from grabbing her head. She suckled hard, and the sensation of blood rushing to his groin made him light-headed. He moved his hips against her, and she let him go with a soft pop.
“Play nice or I’ll have to punish you.”
Her threat was empty and they both knew it. “Bring it on.”
She blew cold air across the plum-shaped head before sucking his shaft into her mouth and molding his flesh against her warm palate. The contrasting sensations made his balls tighten. His cock began to harden, lengthening until she couldn’t hold all of him in her mouth.
Her lips slid the length of his shaft before she pulled away. “Punishing you is punishing myself. I think I’d rather just fuck you.”
He exhaled on a groan as she straddled his hips and guided the head of his cock to her opening. She sank down slowly, sliding like silk against his skin as they joined. “You feel so good, Desiree. I can’t get enough of your pussy on my cock.”
She tugged at the barbells piercing his nipples, and a zing of sensation shot down his spine. “I love to feel you inside me. It’s so good I want to lose control.”
Her rhythm faltered, and he steadied her with his hands. Holding her hips, he reveled in the feel of her cunt grinding against his cock. Her knees clasped his sides, and her rounded backside brushed his legs with each stroke.
Arching his hips, he deepened his penetration until she gasped. The walls of her pussy grew taut around him, shuddering as she drew closer to orgasm. Her fingers pulled at his piercings, but the pain only intensified the pleasure of her movements. Friction burned a sweet trail of torture down his shaft, and her juices soaked the lower portion of his belly.
Desiree whimpered with each rocking thrust of her body, bucking against him like a wild thing demanding release. He moved his hands lower, spreading her pussy until he could finger the sleek nub of her clit as she moved. She threw her head back and cried out as she climaxed hard.
Nicolai’s balls burned at the increased friction before his seed burst from his cock. He hissed, clenching his teeth against the onslaught of unfiltered bliss. Stars burst behind his closed eyelids, and he gasped for air.
As the wave receded and he became capable of coherent thought, he looked up to find her staring down at him. The tender expression on her face touched him deeply. She’d been through so much, and despite it all she’d chosen him.
The weight of that responsibility was frightening.
Chapter Fifteen
Desiree wished it were possible to stay curled up against Nicolai until the world ended. But it wasn’t. She would eventually have to get up and make decisions, most of which had no clear-cut choices and a limited chance for a successful outcome.
“What are you thinking about?” He caressed her bare back, making her shiver.
She watched the light fade from the room until Nicolai’s Spartan furnishings were nothing but shadowy shapes. There was something utterly peaceful about the utilitarian space that said so much about the man who called it home. A part of her longed to find that sense of belonging for herself, but some days she wondered if she was doomed to play the dutiful daughter for the rest of her life.
A muffled noise from downstairs drew her attention. She wondered when the bar opened for the night. “Don’t you have to work?”
“Flynn and I split a shift on Mondays. It’s a slower crowd. He opens and I close.”
Twisting her body, she flung one leg over his and propped her chin on her hand so she could look up into his face. He was so real. Most of the men she’d come into contact with over the years were either spoiled society brats who never lifted a finger unless it was to hand over their credit cards, or workaholics like her brother had once been. They spent all hours at the office and had long-term relationships with their cell service providers.
“Don’t frown, wild girl.” He smoothed the line between her eyebrows with one fingertip. “Is my going to work such a bad thing?”
“No, I’m glad you have a job.”
His chuckle sent shock waves of warmth through her body. “That’s right, I won’t be asking you to be my sugar mama.”
“That’s probably good. I’ve been trained to be dependent on a man since I was old enough to bat my eyelashes.”
He made a growling noise in his chest. The muscular arm wrapped around her shoulders tightened briefly.
Desiree thought about her mother’s on-again, off-again marriages and her sister’s casual agreement to marry for money. “You know, that’s not really true.”
“How so?”
“Outwardly we’re supposed to look like we’re dependent on a man to take care of us, but really it’s more like using our pedigree and social status to snag a guy who can bring something worthwhile to the family.”
“That sort of thing happens in relationships no matter how much money is involved. It’s just easier to leave a bad situation when there’s not a huge bank account weighing in the balance.”
His words hit her like a ton of bricks. She sat straight up and grabbed the sheet to cover her breasts. “Is that what you think of me? That I live at home because I don’t want to lose my life of privilege?”
The blank look on his handsome face said it all. She thought back to the first night they’d met, when he’d called her predictable. After everything she’d shared with him, how could he think she was that shallow? Her trust fund had been under her control the moment she had turned twenty-one. Money had nothing to do with her choosing to live at home, which might or might not make her even more insane in Nicolai’s opinion.
“If it’s not the money, then why do you stay?”
And that was the million-dollar question. Literally.
“Your family has had you twisted in knots since the moment I met you. You were looking for a no-strings-attached one-night stand just to feel as if you had choices.”
How she hated hearing that truth from his lips! “You make me sound like some high-paid hooker.”
“I don’t bring hookers into my bed.” He reached out to cup her cheek.
She pulled away, stung by his comment.
“I watched your brother damn near destroy himself trying to figure out how to be his own person. Then you walked into my bar. I didn’t even know you were related to Erik, but I could see you running from the same demons.”
“That’s why you slept with me? Sorry, but that doesn’t make me feel better. You might want to steer clear of possessed chicks from now on.” She started to get out of the bed, but he caught her arm and pulled her back.
“Stop being so stubborn, and listen to what I’m trying to say.”
She didn’t want to, but deep down she knew it was easier to focus on the hurt in his words instead of the help.
“You’ve spent your whole life trying to follow a set of psycho social rules that don’t make a damn bit of sense. I just want you to see that you can make another choice. You can make a new life for yourself. You don’t have to stay and let them choose for you.”
“I can’t just walk away.”
“Why not?”
“Mama needs me to keep things running. They’re my family, Nicolai.” How could she explain an insane desire to be a part of a family that had never fully accepted her for who she was?
“You could move out and still be family.”
“Move to where? Here?”
“You can stay here as long as you want, but I have a feeling you’d rather find a place of your own.”
Nothing in his to
ne or body language gave away a clue as to how he really felt about the idea of living with her, even for a short while. The room’s shadows painted his face in equal parts light and darkness. What she could see of his expression was earnest, but instinct told Desiree there were things he wasn’t saying. And other things he might never say. Like the relationship label, he seemed to exist in a world where commitments were temporary things.
She liked staying with him. She liked waking up next to him, but the idea of having her own place was exciting. Besides, how long could their cohabitation last when he refused to define the parameters of their relationship? Worse, what if the connection she felt was nothing more than a fling to him?
That hurt. In fact, it hurt a lot to think Nicolai might consider their relationship nothing more than casual sex. If she didn’t belong with her family and she didn’t belong with him, she was left with worse than nothing.
“Are you actually in your sister’s wedding, or were you just part of the planning committee?”
She was thrown by the shift in topic. “I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid. Talia and I both are.”
He gently brushed his fingertips over her cheek. “Then start with that decision and go from there.”
Why did he have to look at her like that now? His eyes gleamed in the semidarkness. There was no judgment or disapproval in his gaze, only warmth. How could someone be so supportive and yet totally dismissive? “I should call and tell her I won’t be there to support her marriage to a perverted lunatic.”
“That would be the logical decision, considering everything that’s happened in the last few days.”
“But I can’t.”
His chest moved as he sighed. “I figured you’d say that.”
Desiree thought about Selena. Not the spoiled rich brat who currently occupied that position in their family, but the little girl with the skinned knees who had constantly followed Desiree and Erik around the estate. “She’s my baby sister, Nicolai.”
Another sigh. “I know.”
“The rehearsal dinner is tomorrow night.”
“Where?”
Even the thought of the Colonial Country Club made her want to gag. “Everyone’s favorite Brookline club.”
His fingers drew distracted circles against her back. “There’s a nice bar in there.”
She couldn’t imagine what that had to do with anything. “The Minutemen Bar. We’re supposed to head there for drinks after dinner.”
“The guy who runs that place is an old friend of mine.”
She lifted her head away from his chest. “Tell me you’re not going to call and ask him to keep an eye on me.” She’d meant her comment to be a cheeky attempt at humor. His arched eyebrow suggested she wasn’t far off the mark.
“You’re not going by yourself.”
Outraged, she rolled to a sitting position on the opposite side of the bed. “Excuse me?”
“I let you go with Erik today to supposedly handle the situation. Look where that got us.” He sat up, not making a move to close the gap that had opened between them.
“You know, you keep telling me to make my own decisions. So I fail to see how you have any right to keep tabs on me or tell me what to do about my family.”
His feet hit the floor with an ominous thud as he got out of the bed. “That bastard tried to rape you in a public place. If you think I’m going to let you hang out with him in someplace like the Minutemen Bar, you’ve got another thing coming. Even if he leaves you alone, he’s probably got a dozen lowlife relatives, and you attract lowlifes like shit attracts flies.”
She was so mad she felt like jumping up and down and screaming like a madwoman. He’d compared her love life to shit. While that might be true on some days, what gave him the right to say it out loud? “Fuck you, Nicolai! Why do you care what I do?”
“I told you why. I don’t like to see you chasing your tail trying to be someone you’re not. Eventually you’re going to get yourself into permanent trouble.”
“The kind of trouble that starts with a pile of condoms I don’t know how to use—Is that what you’re referring to?”
NICOLAI FOUGHT BACK the image of Desiree trying out her condom skills with some nameless, faceless one-night stand she met in a club that catered to society twits like her sister’s fiancé. The idea was absolutely unacceptable to him. He’d had enough of watching her make self-destructive decisions.
Only a few days ago, he’d have figured he had no say in what she did. She’d been the one who wanted to slap a label on their relationship. He hated labels. Labels came with expectations, and a woman like her deserved a man without a track record of lies and betrayal. He’d spent the last ten years scraping his life back together. One bad decision could bring it all crumbling back to the ground, but Desiree had changed all the rules.
“I choose you.”
She couldn’t take the words back, and she could never change what they meant. Even if it meant giving up her chance at a society husband and a houseful of blue-blooded kids, she’d picked him. Nicolai would not expose Desiree to the risk of being hurt the way Katie had been. Not by him and not by anyone else, even if it meant protecting her from her own bad decisions.
“So far, you’ve pretty much insinuated that I’m a sex-crazed lunatic with irreversibly bad taste in men. Anything else you want to add before I go home?”
He reached for his jeans and pulled them on. He hated the friction between the two of them. It wasn’t right. She’d misunderstood everything he’d said. Although that was probably because he’d stuck his foot in his mouth every time he’d opened it.
She started to dress. He watched her full curves and soft skin, barely able to stop himself from going to her. She had a body that begged to be stroked. To see her was to want her, and even though he deserved every minute of her anger, he wasn’t going to let her walk out without a fight.
Nicolai tugged a T-shirt over his head, slid his feet into his boots, and strode toward the door that led down the stairs to the bar.
“You’re just going to leave?”
The hurt in her voice was like a knife sliding between his ribs. “No. I’m not.”
“Then where are you going?”
He picked up his keys, knowing what he was about to do was wrong on more than one level. “To work.”
“Then I’m going home.” She swiped at her eyes. “Or maybe I’ll head back to that stupid sex club. If the theme is any better tonight, I might find some lowlife who’s attracted to my particular brand of shit.”
He ground his teeth together, praying for control. “I’ll see you after I close up. Maybe we’ll both have cooled off enough to be rational.”
“Like hell!”
He closed and locked the door on her feral snarl. Descending the steps, he didn’t wait to hear whatever else she had to say.
Chapter Sixteen
The arrogant bastard had locked her in! Desiree seethed with anger, knowing if she could lay hands on Nicolai Anastas at that moment she’d rip his balls off and shove them down his throat. Except, if she was honest, she wasn’t 100 percent angry that he’d prevented her from leaving.
Oh, she was mad at him. Mad as hell, but not mad enough to call a cab.
The thought of a jaunty yellow cab made her chuckle in spite of her anger. It was hard to believe something so silly had become such a big deal. She’d have to stow that thought in the back of her mind for their next argument.
She walked to the window, gazing out at the city street teeming with traffic. It was just another Monday night to them. She leaned against the sill, wondering if her mother had been driving Erik crazy with phone calls. Desiree hadn’t bothered to check her phone. She had no doubt the thing had been buzzing away in her purse. She just didn’t care anymore.
It didn’t take a brain surgeon to know that Nicolai thought she was insane for wanting to be anywhere near her family ever again. She couldn’t blame him. Her mother had tried to have him thrown in jail for something Jacks
on had done. Not only did that suggest her mother was harboring a major case of denial, but it made her family seem like a bunch of snobs. She just wished she could make him believe there was more to her mother than the seemingly psychotic, overprotective behavior. Some days she wished she could believe it too.
Going to Selena’s wedding really wasn’t about obligation anymore. Three days ago, Desiree wouldn’t have hesitated to pick up the wedding responsibilities just because her baby sister pitched a tantrum and fired the wedding planner. Choices like that hadn’t existed in her life. She’d been exactly what Nicolai had accused her of that very first night. She’d been a by-the-book kind of girl, one who played by all the rules.
Things had changed, and somehow three days made all the difference. She wanted to go to Selena’s wedding because, no matter how much of a spoiled brat her sister was, she deserved to have her family around on her big day. Jackson couldn’t hold on to his squeaky-clean persona forever, and Annaline wasn’t going to be much comfort when the truth came out. That was Desiree’s job. Desiree didn’t care what the society vultures had to say about her, but she wasn’t going to let them rip her baby sister apart.
She wandered away from the window toward her purse. It only took a second to send her brother a text to let him know she’d be at the rehearsal the following day. The display informed her it was later than she’d imagined.
Undressing, she climbed back into Nicolai’s bed and snuggled into the covers. The only thing left to do was convince a very stubborn man that she was fully capable of taking care of herself at a family function. It was a task that would be better accomplished while naked.
* * * *
Nicolai put the chair up on the table, taking a moment to make certain it wouldn’t spontaneously crash to the floor in the middle of the night. He’d been startled awake by that sound enough times to know a little extra care went a long way toward a good night’s sleep.
Boston Avant-Garde: Impetuous Page 13