“Hey, Ben,” Renie said when her mother’s husband answered. The cell coverage at their ranch in Crested Butte was spotty, so Renie usually tried the house phone first. “Is my mom around?”
“Yep, she is, I’ll get her. How are you? Everything okay?”
She loved Ben, but she didn’t want to talk to him. She wanted to talk to her mom. “Yeah, I’m fine.” She heard the phone jostle and Ben tell her mom she was on the phone.
“Hi, sweet girl. How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
“Did you get in touch with Billy?”
“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. I need to talk to you about him.”
“What’s going on with you two? Is he giving you a hard time about the stables? That isn’t your problem, that’s between him and me.”
“No, that isn’t it.” Could she do this—admit to her mom how she felt about Billy Patterson? “Um…”
“Renie, just say it. I can hear you’re upset by the sound of your voice.”
“It’s about me and Billy.”
Silence—the reaction Renie had been expecting.
“Mom, are you there?”
“I’m here. Where are you?”
“At school.”
“Are you okay, honey?”
“I don’t know. Mom, I’m not sure how to say this.”
“I’ll murder him if he hurt one hair on your head. What has he done?”
“You know how everybody used to joke that Billy spent most of his life in love with you?”
“We used to joke that Billy had a crush on me when he was a teenager. That’s different than being in love with me. What’s going on, Renie?”
“Someone else has spent their whole life being in love with him.”
“Are you that someone, Renie?”
“Yes.”
“What’s happened?”
Renie told her about Billy’s offer to let her stay at the house on the weekends, and then told her what had happened the night before, when Billy kissed her.
“The worst part is that he doesn’t remember it.”
Now that Renie wasn’t talking to him, Billy realized how much she usually did. Not talked necessarily, but texted. When he had a good ride, she was the first person he messaged. When he was sitting at home, doing nothing, he’d text to see what she was doing. No matter what, she was always the first person he thought about talking to. Why hadn’t he noticed it until now? She was his touchstone. She comforted him. Now she refused to answer him.
He knew it hadn’t been a dream. He kissed her. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel her lips against his.
I’m sorry, he texted, not knowing what else to say.
Still no answer.
“I want to go see Dottie,” Liv said to Ben the next morning.
“Yeah? We can do that.”
“Maybe you could visit Paige and Mark.” Ben loved hanging out with her best friend’s husband. And since he was on hiatus from touring while his band, CB Rice, recorded a new album, it was a good time for him to take a couple days break from the studio.
“When do you want to leave?”
“As soon as we can.”
Ben kept the plane he and the band shared with his parents at the airport in Gunnison.
“I need her advice about this thing with Renie and Billy.”
“You got it, sweetheart.” Ben kissed her forehead.
She smiled. “What would my life be like without you?”
“You aren’t ever gonna find out.”
They rented a car at the regional airport in Centennial which was an hour’s drive from Monument where Liv’s best friends, Paige and Mark Cochran lived.
“I could come to Dottie and Bill’s with you,” Ben offered when he pulled into the Cochran’s driveway.
“I won’t be long. This’ll give you a chance to catch up with Mark.” Both Ben and Mark had long careers in the music business, and a never-ending desire to talk about it.
“Hey-o,” she shouted when she walked in the back door. “Anybody home?”
“Oh my goodness, is that a sound for sore ears! Is that my Livvie?” Dottie came out of the kitchen and wrapped Liv in a big hug.
“Hi, Dottie.” Liv teared up being in the kitchen where she’d spent so much time. “I miss you,” she looked around, “and this place.”
“I missed you too, and while I sure am happy to see you, I gotta ask—what brings you to my kitchen today?”
Whenever Liv had any kind of problem, Dottie was the first person she talked to about it.
“It’s about Renie.”
Dottie sighed. “I could’ve guessed. She was here yesterday. She asked whether we’d keep Pooh here in our barn for a couple of days. Said she wants to move her to a stable in Fort Collins. Closer to her.”
“It has something to do with Billy.”
Dottie laughed. “That’s obvious, darlin’.” Dottie patted Liv’s hand and stood. “Get you something to drink?”
“What time is it?” Liv asked, looking at her watch and saw it was three in the afternoon. “I’d love a glass of wine.”
Dottie went into the pantry and pulled out a bottle of Zinfandel, Liv’s favorite.
“I didn’t see this coming, at all,” Liv told Dottie about her conversation with Renie.
Liv waited for Dottie to comment, and when she didn’t, Liv didn’t know what to think. “Dottie?”
“I’ve been watchin’ this for a while. Both of them. He doesn’t do a thing in his life without talkin’ to Renie about it. God knows she’s had a mad love on him since she was a wee little thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, honey. How could you have not noticed?”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Renie’s real good at makin’ sure everything stays on an even keel. She isn’t ever gonna be the one to rock the boat. She’s used to hiding her feelings, Liv. You know that.”
“But Billy? I didn’t see it.”
“For a long time, there wasn’t anything to see. She was a girl, and he was a man. In the last couple of years, that’s changed. Renie is a woman now, and Billy’s noticed.”
“She’s upset with him right now.”
“She’s hurt, but he is too. It’s what they both need. He needs it, so he realizes what she means to him. She needs it, so she realizes she can’t keep hiding her feelings.”
“So, Mama Patterson, what do we do about our kids?”
Dottie laughed and poured Liv another glass of wine. “Not a thing, darlin’ girl. We let ’em figure it out for themselves.”
“I said this to Ben earlier—what would my life be like without you, Dottie?”
“I feel the same about you, Livvie. Who knows—we might be family one day soon.”
Liv felt her face flush, which made Dottie laugh. She laughed so hard she had to hold her stomach.
“It’s gonna happen someday, you know. Why not with Billy?” Dottie asked once her giggles had subsided.
Renie, please. I’m sorry, he texted the next morning. I brought Pooh home, he added. Maybe that’d get her to respond.
Less than a minute later his phone rang.
“I don’t want Pooh at your place, Billy. You don’t have anyone to take care of her.”
“That’s all you’re gonna say? You aren’t going to ask what I’m sorry for?”
“I don’t care what you’re sorry for, unless it’s because you moved my horse.”
“I take good care of Pooh, along with the rest of the horses that board here. Also, I hired Sookie. He’s gonna stay here whenever I’m out of town.”
“I’m bringing her up here anyway.”
“Why, Renie? Because I kissed you?”
He waited, but when she didn’t say anything, he kept talking. “It isn’t a reason to move your horse, but it is a reason for us to talk, which we could’ve done if you hadn’t hightailed it out of here, and then refused to answer my texts.”
�
��You were drunk.”
“You’re right, I was. That’s still not a reason for you to refuse to talk to me.”
More silence.
“Look, you gotta give me somethin’ here. Are you mad at me because you didn’t want me to kiss you, or are you mad at me because you did?”
“I’m not sure,” she murmured.
“What are you doin’ right now?”
“Billy—”
“Just answer me. What are you doin’ right now?”
“Trying to study.”
“Trying?”
“I can’t concentrate.”
“You think if we hang up right now, you’ll be able to?”
“I doubt it.”
“I’m comin’ up.”
“Don’t, Billy.”
“We gotta resolve this, Renie. These have been the two worst days of my life.”
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you when I get there.”
4
It had been a roll of the dice. Billy was pretty sure he’d kissed Renie, but not one hundred percent. It did explain her behavior, which is why he decided he hadn’t dreamt it.
He hadn’t ever visited her at school, but Fort Collins was close to Greeley and he’d competed there enough to know about how long it would take him to get there.
He called Sookie from the road and told him his parents had a house key for him to use until Billy had time to get one made for him.
“You can stay at the house tonight if you want. There’s a guest room on the main floor, to the left of the kitchen. That’ll be yours.”
Sookie thanked him for the work, but more for getting him out of the bunkhouse. “Whatever you need help with, I’m happy to do it,” Sookie told him.
As long as he stayed away from Renie, he didn’t care what the man did. There was a bigger bedroom downstairs, but it was next to the one she stayed in. Billy didn’t want him down there.
Billy would be there in about an hour and a half if he left when she thought he did. She looked around her one bedroom apartment, trying to decide if she should tidy up, or text and suggest they meet somewhere.
It would be better to meet somewhere. Meet me at The Hideout, she texted, she wasn’t ready to have Billy here, in her space.
No, he answered.
You aren’t supposed to be texting and driving.
Not.
How was that even possible?
For a smart girl, you don’t know much about technology.
Meet me at The Hideout, she texted again.
No, he answered again.
An hour later there was a knock at her door. How had he gotten here so fast?
“Hi,” she said as she opened the door. Damn, he looked good. He hadn’t shaved all day, so the dark stubble was more evident. He wore a dark blue, plaid True Grit shirt, and those tight Cinch jeans that made her drool.
“You gonna invite me in to do that, or are you gonna feast on me with your eyes out here in the hallway?”
She smiled and waved him in.
Her place was small, but it looked like her. Her kitchen was spotless, the dining room table was stacked high with books and papers, and the living room looked less lived in.
He looked around, wondering which hallway door led to her bedroom. A couple days ago, he would’ve looked, but now things were different between them.
She was studying him, a little smirk on her face, as if she dared him to do it.
“Ah, hell.” He stalked down the hall, opening the first door he came to. Bathroom. There was only one other door, it had to be her bedroom. It was, and it wasn’t at all what he expected.
Most of her apartment looked like a typical college student’s place, a mishmash of randomly-gathered furniture. Her bedroom reminded him pictures he’d seen of Greece. Everything in the room was white, except the bright turquoise and red pillows scattered on the bed and floor. Her headboard looked like it was carved from stone. Its ledge had a picture on it, and a vase with three fresh roses. He walked over and picked up a photo of her and Pooh. It was taken when Renie was about ten, and in it, Billy stood next to her, holding the horse’s reins.
Renie stood in the doorway, watching him. He set the picture down and looked around.
“Where do you keep your clothes?”
“In the closet.”
He wanted to wipe that damn smirk right off her face, but it might be too soon to do it the way he wanted. That would involve using his lips.
He met her in the doorway, and when she didn’t move, he got as close to her as he could, without touching her. He looked her up and down, the way she had when he got there.
She had on jeans, the same 501s she always wore, and a pink, striped, button-down shirt, with enough buttons undone that from where he stood, he could see the lace on her white bra, and the swell of her breasts. One hand was on her hip, the other hung at her side. Her feet were bare, and her toenails were painted a pale shade of pink. Her long, blonde hair was up off her neck, and tiny pearl earrings adorned her ears. Her blue eyes didn’t blink.
He reached up, took the clip out of her hair, and dropped it on the floor. She reached down to pick it up, but he grabbed her arm.
He brushed his lips across her cheek, to her ear. “Either let me out of your bedroom, Renie, or be prepared to stay in here with me for the rest of the night.”
She didn’t move, so he pulled her into the room with him. She let go, and walked back down the hallway to the living room.
“Whatcha’ lookin’ for?” Renie asked when he walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, as though he owned the place.
“Somethin’ to eat.”
“I told you to meet me at The Hideout.”
“Why would I do that? You’re a great cook, Renie.” He pulled out a container, and put it in the microwave.
Was there a more confident man on the planet? If so, she hadn’t met him. And she’d been looking. First at Dartmouth, and now here in Fort Collins. She looked and looked for a man to help her forget about Billy Patterson. She hadn’t found one yet.
Wherever he was, Billy owned the air. It belonged to him, and he took it. He used as much as he wanted, and figured if you needed any, you were on your own.
He opened drawers until he found a fork.
“Did you eat?”
“It’s almost eleven o’clock at night, Billy. I ate hours ago.”
“I didn’t.” He set the dish and fork down on the counter. “Wanna know why not?”
She shrugged.
“Cause you had me all wound up, Renie.”
“Sure you weren’t just hung over?”
His eyes flared open wider, and in one long stride he stood in front of her, and pushed her back against the counter.
“No. I wasn’t,” he said, getting his mouth close to hers, without touching her lips.
He had her trapped. If he got any closer, every inch of him would be touching every inch of her.
He shook his head, stepped back, and picked up his food.
“Would you like to sit down while you eat?”
He motioned to her table. “Doesn’t look as though there’s much room at your table, sugar.”
Dish still in hand, he looked at the books. “Intense.”
“Stuff you’d know in your sleep.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Horses. You know more about them than I do, Billy.”
“Not all this stuff I don’t.” He picked up a textbook on anatomy.
“You may not know all the scientific terminology, but everything else?” She sat down on the couch. “I’ve never met anybody who understands them the way you do.”
He put the dish in the sink. “We gotta talk about the other night.”
“You were drunk, Billy. I get that.”
“You think that’s why I kissed you?”
She shrugged.
He sat down next to her. “Not drunk now.” He pulled her into him, and kissed her. At first he was gentle, his
lips brushing back and forth over hers as his tongue gently pushed its way in. His other hand came up and stroked her face, then moved to her neck. His kiss deepened, as his hand slid down to the buttons on her shirt.
She grabbed his wrist.
“Let me in,” he murmured.
Renie twisted away from him and stood. “I can’t do this.” She wiped her hand across her mouth.
Billy leaned forward and put his head in his hands. He took a few deep breaths. “Okay. We won’t do this, but we have to talk. You’re too important to me not to.”
Renie went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and closed it. She opened a cupboard, closed it too, and leaned against the counter.
“Whatever answers you’re looking for aren’t in there. Come back out here and talk to me.”
Renie turned the corner and leaned up against the wall.
“Tell me what you’re thinkin’,” he pleaded.
“You know me better than that, Billy.”
“Pretend I’m Pooh.”
She laughed. “Here we go.”
“You think I never noticed your little motor mouth runnin’ when you were out in the pasture with your horse? I would’ve given anything to hear what you were talkin’ to her about.”
Him, always Billy. She’d been in love with him forever, and he’d never thought of her as anything other than a pest. She closed her eyes at the hurt that pounded in her chest. The joy she felt when she saw him was always coupled with the pain of yearning for him. She’d gotten so used to it throbbing in every part of her body. Yearn for Billy—it’s what her body did naturally. Her eyes stayed closed, as she focused on the ache of it.
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “I wish I could read your mind.”
Thank God he couldn’t, she’d never be able to look him in the face again.
“You want me to tell you how I’m feelin’ about all this? About you and me…”
Her brow furrowed, and she bit her upper lip.
“Renie, please.” His fingers caressed her face.
She leaned her head into his hand.
“Go ahead,” he said. “Take a chance, tell me what you’re thinkin’ so hard about.”
Dance with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 2) Page 4