Dance with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 2)

by Heather Slade

  If she refused, he’d get Pooh settled, ask Liv to give her the letter he spent most of the week writing to her, get in his truck, and drive home. The thought of it was enough to bring him to tears.

  His arms ached with missing his baby girl. He didn’t have a cell signal where he was, but when he did, he’d call and see whether she’d babble at him over the phone. His daughter saved his life. If it weren’t for her, he’d never have survived this rift between him and Renie. Then again, if it weren’t for her, there wouldn’t be a rift in the first place.

  If someone told him a year ago that he’d go eight months without talking to Renie, he would’ve called them a damn liar. Hell, he hadn’t been able to go eight hours without talking to her, or at least texting her.

  He took pictures of Willow with his phone every day. Each time he did, the first person he wanted to send them to was Renie. Instead, he kept them to himself, believing that one day he’d show them to her. One day she’d want to see them.

  He wished he could make sense of the way Renie reacted at the hospital when he first met Willow. Everyone who knew her was surprised by it. There were lots of kids around when she lived with her mom, and they boarded horses. She was great with them, even talked about giving riding lessons before school got to be too much work for her to consider it.

  In an instant, Renie turned from being his best friend, and the love of his life, to someone he didn’t know, and it was all because of his baby girl. No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t figure it out.

  Maybe soon, she’d give him some answers.

  Renie had been sending Billy checks every month for Pooh’s care, but he never cashed them. She wondered if he got them, but she thought he must. If he didn’t, did he really think she wouldn’t send money to feed and care for her horse? She knew she had the address right, it had been her address for the first twenty-two years of her life.

  She looked out the bedroom window and saw a truck coming down the long dirt road toward the house. It wasn’t until she realized it was pulling a horse trailer that a feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach.

  She went upstairs into the kitchen, to get a better view of the truck. It finally got close enough for her to see who was driving.

  Billy pulled up in front of the ranch house and turned off the truck. He took several deep breaths and said a prayer that Renie was here, and if she was, that she’d want to see him.

  He took a long look at the house before he opened the door and climbed out. It didn’t look as though there was anyone home, but it was a big house, they could be anywhere in it.

  He saw something move in one of the front windows, and by the long blonde hair, he knew it was Renie. Would she come out? Or if he went to the front door and knocked, would she pretend she wasn’t home?

  There was one way to find out. He got out of the truck and walked back to the trailer to check on Pooh first. She was fine. He walked up the porch steps, and stood at the front door, willing himself to knock, praying she would open it.

  Renie didn’t know what to do. She knew Billy saw her in the window. He had her horse, she couldn’t leave him standing out there. Where was her mom? Where was Ben? Why wasn’t anyone else home? Oh God, what should she do?

  She looked awful. She worked late again last night, and stayed in bed most of the day. She’d showered when she got home, but hadn’t this morning—leaving her with bed-head of epic proportions.

  She could hear only two things, his boots on the porch, and her pounding heart. She grabbed the closest chair, feeling short of breath, and thought she might pass out. This must be what a panic attack feels like.

  He knocked on the door, she took a deep breath, and opened it. “Hi, Billy.”

  Billy thought he was ready for this, to see her, but he wasn’t. A rush of emotions overtook him, and he thought for a minute he might cry. “Hi, Renie.”

  “Come in.” She walked in the opposite direction and sat down on a stool near the kitchen.

  How was she so calm? He was ready to burst at the seams. Then he saw it, Renie was sitting on her hands. She wasn’t calm at all, thank God.

  “You didn’t cash my checks.”

  “No. I didn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  He didn’t know. They sat on his dresser, every single one of them. He didn’t have a reason not to put them in the bank, he just hadn’t.

  “I don’t know, to tell you the truth.”

  “So that isn’t why you’re delivering my horse.”

  “Renie—”

  She got up and grabbed a jacket off the hook by the door. It was huge on her. She put her feet inside a pair of boots, also not hers, based on the size of them.

  She hurried out the front door to his trailer, and by the time he caught up to her, she was inside, hugging her horse.

  He backed away. She was talking to Pooh, rubbing her nose, arms around her neck, and she was crying. He didn’t want to intrude. He understood how much she loved that horse, how hard it must’ve been to stay away all this time.

  “I missed you so much,” he heard her cry.

  A few minutes later she led Pooh out of the trailer, and toward the barn.

  “Thank you, Billy, for bringing her.”

  “You’re welcome. I would’ve brought her sooner, if I’d known you wanted me to.”

  “Thanks,” she said again. He grabbed Pooh’s tack and followed her.

  “Is anyone else home?” he asked once they were inside the barn.

  “No,” she answered. She took Pooh to the stall next to Micah, and stood inside nuzzling her horse.

  “I’ll get her some water.” Billy looked around for a spigot.

  She pointed. “Over there.”

  He filled a bucket, but stood where he was for a minute. Renie was talking to her horse again. He’d give her some time.

  When she came out of the stall looking for him, he walked toward her, but stopped when he realized she was crying. Seeing it broke his heart, but then she’d been breaking his heart for months. He thought he’d be anesthetized to it by now, but he wasn’t.

  He set the bucket down and put his arms around her. She didn’t move, except when her body involuntarily shook with sobs.

  He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to do either, so he didn’t do anything except hold her. She wiped her nose on his jacket, which made him smile. When her hands came up and rested on his arms, he was afraid she’d push him away, but she didn’t. Her touch was soft at first, but then tightened. She turned her head, and rested it against his heart.

  When she looked up and her eyes met his, he couldn’t move. She moved her hands higher, to his shoulders, and he pulled her body closer to his. When she reached up and her lips met his, he was sure he was either dreaming, or he’d died and gone to heaven.

  He let her take the lead, so afraid that any move he made would bring this dream to an end. How often had it? He’d be in her arms, kissing her, making love to her. His heart would soar, and then he’d wake up to that familiar and excruciating realization that once again, it wasn’t real.

  She reached up and fisted her hand in his hair, and Billy lost his resolve. He couldn’t hold back any longer. He kissed her with all the love and passion his body had been storing the last few months.

  He tightened his grip, but she didn’t back away. He heard the cry muffled by his mouth, but he refused to stop.

  He’d never been kissed like this. She was ravaging his mouth, pulling at his hair, her fingernails digging into his scalp. He lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He backed her up against the side of the barn. When she started to pull him down into the hay, he let go, but followed.

  She was pulling at her jacket, trying to get it off. He didn’t know whether to help, or take his own jacket off. She let him know, taking his hands and putting them on her waist, pushing them toward the hem of her shirt. When he pushed it up and over her head, he saw she didn’t
have anything on underneath it.

  “Wait,” she said, and he froze.

  No, no, no. The dream was ending, and he was about to wake up. Renie grabbed her sweatshirt and pulled it back over her head. Billy watched, not knowing what to do to stop his heart from breaking all over again.

  She was torn. She wanted Billy more than anything. She couldn’t think past the way her body yearned for his. But not like this, not in the barn. Think, think. What should they do?

  Billy hadn’t moved. The look on his face…it was breaking her heart, even if she knew what to say to ease his pain, she wasn’t sure she could speak.

  “Not here,” she managed.

  He didn’t answer, but took her hand and led her out of the barn.

  Billy made arrangements on his way into town for a place to stay. He knew whatever happened with Renie, he wouldn’t be in any shape to drive home. He could take her there.

  “Wait,” she said again.

  Oh God, please don’t say no.

  “Let me get my jacket and shoes, and lock the door.”

  Thank God. He grabbed the back of the pickup, holding on for dear life, praying all the while that she’d come back out that door, and not change her mind.

  He thought about unhooking the trailer from the truck, but was afraid his hands wouldn’t work well enough for him to do it quickly. He was all about quickly, at least until they got where they were going. After that, he’d be all about making his time with Renie last forever.

  Where was she? She was taking too long. He started to pace, but stayed close enough to the truck that he could grab hold of it if he needed to. When she came out of the front door, she had a bag with her, and a she wore a different jacket, one that fit her.

  He opened the passenger door, and she climbed into the seat, but grabbed his coat as she did, pulling him to her. She kissed him again, so hard it almost hurt. He wanted to close his eyes and concentrate on how she felt, but he was too afraid. He needed to see her so he was sure this wasn’t a dream.

  He couldn’t speak, he could hardly breathe.

  She pulled away from him. “Let’s go.”

  He walked around the pickup, steadying himself as he went. He hoped he’d be able to drive.

  When he got in, Renie slid over and sat next to him. Somehow he managed to get the truck in gear using his left hand because his right arm was wrapped around her, and there was no way he’d let go.

  He pulled up behind a house in town, and parked in the alley, out of the way of the other garages. When he got out, she followed. The lady at the rental office said the key would be in a lock box on the back door. He reached in and pulled the code out of his pocket, hoping his hands would be steady enough to punch it in. When it popped open on the first try, Renie grabbed the key and unlocked the door.

  Shit—he didn’t have any condoms.

  “Renie,” he found his voice. “I’m so sorry, I don’t have any—”

  “It’s okay,” she said.

  He didn’t want to think about why it was okay. He couldn’t let himself think about why it was okay. Why was it okay?

  “No.” That was his voice. He’d said it. He said no.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Renie, I can’t.”

  “You can’t what?”

  “I need to go get condoms.”

  “No, it’s okay, I grabbed these from Ben’s nightstand.” She had a handful.

  He laughed. Why was that the funniest thing he’d ever heard? His body was misinterpreting his schizophrenic emotions, and now he was laughing.

  Renie laughed too. She pulled the packets out of her pocket, and they laughed harder.

  He stopped laughing and stalked toward her. She leaned her body into his, reached up, and kissed him. He lifted her into his arms and carried her inside, realizing then he had no idea where the bedrooms were.

  He walked through the house, Renie in his arms, opening each door they came to, until they finally found a bedroom.

  He set her down, wanting to rip every bit of clothing off her body, but she was way ahead of him, pulling it off faster than he could’ve torn it.

  She was naked, standing in front of him. “Billy?”

  He was still fully clothed, so she helped him undress. Once he was as naked as she was, she ripped open a condom packet and handed it to him.

  Renie watched as he came toward her. He couldn’t wait, he needed to be inside her.

  She reached for him, pushed him back on the mattress, and straddled him. She put her hands on his chest, and slowly took him deep inside her. He reached up and held her face in his hands. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he was afraid if he spoke, something would change. That he’d ruin it. That she’d stop. That he’d wake up.

  He grabbed her hips and set his own rhythm. They both cried out as they came together.

  Renie stayed where she was, leaned forward and rested her cheek near his heart. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as he could, and let her cry.

  They made love three more times, but didn’t talk. Every time he thought he’d have to wait to be inside her again, his body disagreed. It didn’t have anything to do with not having sex for eight months, and everything to do with being with Renie. His body had craved hers for so long.

  He opened his eyes. Renie was sleeping, splayed across him. He should get out of bed, check in with his mom, see how Willow was, but if he did, it might break the spell between them. If he had to ignore the world for a while to have a even a few more minutes with Renie, he would.

  She stirred, looked up at him, and then put her head back down.

  “I dream about you every night,” she said.

  “I dream about you too.”

  “I’m afraid I’m dreaming now.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I don’t think you have to use the bathroom when you’re dreaming.” She got up and padded out of the bedroom. He followed, going in the opposite direction, looking for another one.

  When he came out, she was in the kitchen.

  “Not much food in here,” she said, opening and closing cupboard doors.

  “Vacation rental.”

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Where do you want to go?”

  “Nowhere.”

  “Me, either.”

  “I have to eat.”

  “Is there a fast food place in Crested Butte?”

  “None.”

  “Think we could force ourselves to leave long enough to get takeout?”

  “We could get pizza delivered.”

  “Perfect,” he said, opening drawers looking for menus, or a phone book. “Here we go. How about the Secret Stash? Are they any good?”

  “The best.” Renie grabbed the menu and went in search of her phone.

  “We have twenty-five minutes,” she shouted from the bedroom. “Get your butt in here, Patterson.”

  He needed nourishment, and soon, but he probably had another round in him, as long as he knew food was on the way.

  “Are they bringing us anything to drink?” he asked on his way.

  Billy grabbed his pants and wallet when he heard the knock at the door.

  ““That’ll be seventy-five dollars and eighty-two cents,” the delivery person said. Billy saw there was another bag sitting behind him.

  “You sure you got the right address?”

  The man looked at his notes. “Renie Fairchild? You don’t look like Renie. What did you order?”

  “That’s us, and I have no idea what she ordered.”

  “Is it just the two of you?”

  “Nah, we have friends coming over,” Billy lied.

  He handed the guy a hundred, and thanked him. He brought one bag and set it on the kitchen counter and went back for the second. Renie was rummaging through the first by the time he turned back around.

  “I’m starving,” she said, taking boxes out of the bag.

  “I guess.” He laughed. “What did you order?”

 
“Pizza, wings, stuffed mushrooms, garlic bread, fries, and salad. Oh, and did he bring beer? I told him there’d be an extra big tip in it for him if he brought us a twelve-pack.”

  “I did tip him big. You put the order in your name, darlin’. I wanted to do you proud.”

  She looked over at him and smiled. “I love you, Billy Patterson.”

  He almost dropped the second bag as he reached out to grab the counter.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What? No. God, Renie. Don’t be sorry. It surprised me.”

  “I do, though. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” Somehow he knew that wasn’t the end of it. There was more she wanted to say.

  “Let’s eat,” she said instead.

  “You seem different,” he said, in between bites of his fifth piece of pizza.

  “Different how?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been in hell for the last eight months. You seem…fine.”

  She set her plate down and looked right at him. “Don’t misjudge me, Billy. I can assure you I’ve been to hell and back again these last few months.”

  “See? That’s what I mean. You’re so…good at saying what you’re thinking.”

  “You’re right. I used to be afraid to tell you what I thought or how I was feeling.”

  “Really? That makes me feel like shit. So what’s different?”

  “I don’t know, exactly. Maybe I grew up.”

  “Are you sure it isn’t that you don’t care what I think?”

  “It’s that too, at least a little.”

  He looked wounded.

  “If you didn’t want the answer to the question, Billy, you shouldn’t have asked it.”

  “Damn, Renie. I don’t know how to handle this.”

  “Me, either.”

  “I’ve never been so afraid of the words ‘we should talk,’ in my life.”

  “We should, though.”

  “I need you to tell me what you’re thinking and feeling first, Renie. If you can’t do that, I’m not sure we’re gonna get much talking done.”

  “No, I can.” She stood up and got her cell phone out. “I should call my mom first though. I need her to check on Pooh, which she probably already has, along with totally freaking out.”