Trouble Me

by Beck Anderson

  We stroll around the park in the mist, enjoying the antics of the animals, who seem to be playing in the rain. Hunter and Beau wander out in front of us, and I’m enjoying having an adult, a girlfriend no less, with me.

  Mari sips a Coke and chews the straw thoughtfully. “Why are you all in town? Visiting relatives?”

  “No, for my boyfriend’s work.”

  “What’s he do?”

  I suck at lying. Here we go. “He’s got a project that wraps up end of September, but we’re just staying till school starts.”

  “Is he a project manager for somebody?”

  “No, he’s more of a consultant. They bring him in on jobs, and he takes his direction from the project manager. Kind of a hired gun.”

  “In IT or what?”

  “Media.” That isn’t a complete lie, I guess. I call to Beau to change the subject. “Beau! Don’t get so far in front of us.”

  He turns around and taps his foot impatiently.

  Mari chuckles. “He’s cute. Reminds me of my brother a little.”

  “Oh yeah? How old?”

  “Oh, younger than Beau.” She looks a little lost for a minute.

  “Does he live on Long Island with your folks?”

  She shakes her head. “No, I don’t get to see him anymore.”

  There must’ve been a divorce. I don’t want to pry. “That’s a bummer. What’s his name?”

  “They named him Cameron. I didn’t like it at first. I like it now. I miss him.”

  I nod. Her tone strikes straight to the quick. That kind of melancholy always makes me miss Peter. “I know that feeling.”

  “Uh-huh.” She points to Hunter. “If you ever want to go out, and you need a babysitter, I think I could handle these guys. They’re really grown-up.”

  I love it when people compliment my kids. “I like them. Most of the time. And I might take you up on that. I was going to go to work with Andrew one day maybe next week, and then there might be a reception we need to go to.”

  “The offer stands. You should have my number anyway, in case you get locked out of the building ever.”

  We’re in front of the penguins. The boys are both crouched down, watching them swim and dive past the glass. Mari and I exchange numbers.

  For one second, I consider that I’ve opened a door—just a tiny crack, but she’s got my phone number, and she knows which condo is mine.

  But she doesn’t know Andrew. And if I met her anytime B.A. (before Andrew), I’d have done exactly what I just did. Be social. Try to make a friend.

  No reason to do that any differently that I can see.

  The penguins are putting on quite a show, chasing each other through the blue water, skimming up against the wall of the tank, giving the humans on the other side of the glass a thrill. Hunter and Beau are transfixed.

  And the wave of nausea hits me, out of nowhere. “Mari, can you keep an eye on the boys? I need to…” I leave off and make a beeline for the nearest park bench, conveniently located next to a trash can.

  Please don’t puke, please don’t puke. I sit and put my head between my legs for a second, peel off my light raincoat, and try to take really deep breaths.

  Mari rounds up the boys and comes over to me. “Is everything all right?”

  Beau pats my back. “She’s having a baby. Major morning sickness.”

  Well, there goes that gigantic secret. I look up from between my legs to give him a death stare.

  But I’m taken aback by the look on Mari’s face. It’s ashen, and she frowns.

  And then, just as suddenly, her expression morphs into a wide smile, and she plops down on the bench. “Wow! That’s great news! When are you due?”

  “Ahhh…in February.”

  Hunter pulls me up. “We should go sit and eat dinner. I don’t want a puking mom on the subway. I don’t care how big New York is; even with strangers that’d be humiliating.”

  Mari hops up too, nodding in agreement. “There’s a fun place we can go eat just outside the zoo.”

  Hunter cocks an eyebrow. “Are you vegan? ’Cause you look like you could be vegan.”

  “No. The place is called the Burger Joint. It’s in the Parker Meridien hotel. It’s on our way out of the park, toward Chelsea.”

  Hunter considers for a moment. “Hotel sounds too frou frou, but the restaurant sounds safe enough.”

  Mari pats his shoulder. “Glad it meets your approval.”

  Beau loops his arm into mine and guides me back toward the entrance. “Let’s go eat before Mom embarrasses us.”

  Hunter walks in front of us with Mari, chatting, and Beau nods his head toward them. “I’m glad you met someone in New York, Mom. She seems cool.”

  “She does.” I smile. I hope she’s cool, because she now knows one of our two secrets.

  11: Out of the Frying Pan

  A NEW WEEK BRINGS ONE NEW THING I’m psyched about: Kelly can come to set with me.

  I wasn’t sure how it was going to go. I was fully prepared for the boys to hang in my trailer. I stocked the fridge and tricked out the Xbox One. But a morning alone with their mom sounds like a whole lot of fun too.

  How did this happen, getting her alone? Kelly, bless her, met a friend, and it’s a friend who can babysit.

  Tucker background checked her, of course, and Kelly hasn’t told her who I am yet. I don’t know how long we can keep that secret. It’s been my experience that when some people find out I’m in the mix, they find ways to ask for favors or money or influence or other things. It makes a person cautious. But for now, new-friend Mari serves my purposes. She’s taking the boys down to the pool in our building and maybe on a walk over to the piers if they get really adventurous.

  We get to set, and I introduce Kelly around to a few people. She says hello to Mallory, and I give her the very short grand tour. My first scene isn’t until later. We’ve got some time on our hands, and that’s all I’m going to say about that, because things’ll get real inappropriate real fast if I explore that train of thought.

  Yesterday on set was long and boring. There was a complex series of shots, and the waiting around dragged more than usual. Tucker and some of the sound guys and my PA, we started to brainstorm ways to pass the time.

  So, this morning Kelly and I have an assignment. A job to do. I lead her to my little RV away from home.

  I pull her up into the trailer with me, snap the door shut behind her.

  “What?” She smiles broadly.

  “I’d like your help.” I raise an eyebrow.

  She rolls her eyes at me. “And what kind of help would that be, Mr. Pettigrew?” She bats her eyelashes for effect.

  “Listen. I want you, of course. I always want you. But I also want to bug the holy hell out of Amanda. And she thinks you and I are a boring old ‘married couple.’”

  I’ve piqued her interest. “She does, does she? We’re not even officially engaged yet.”

  “Next proposal I’ve got trained lemurs and a Marilyn Monroe impersonator on deck. I’m working on it. But that’s beside the point.”

  “What’s the point?”

  “I want her to walk by this trailer, which she’s due to do in about—” I look at my phone “—oh, forty-five seconds. And I want her to be shocked.”

  “By?” Kelly sits on one of the couches, props her feet on the little ottoman, rubs that adorable belly absently.

  “By us. Loud sex. Wild, trailer-rocking sex.” I can feel a wide grin spread on my face. That’s fun to say.

  “Andrew, I love you, and the concept is smoking hot, but is that what you want the whole crew to be talking about?”

  “No, of course not. Actually, in a passing moment, yeah, because I’d be big stud on campus, but then I’d die of embarrassment. On the other hand, it’d be amazing.” I have to pause for a moment. I run a hand through my hair, take a nice deep breath. There are guy impulses, and they threaten to overcome me right now. I may have to ravish her on the spot. She’s got this little
curious gleam in her eye, and it’s fantastic. I shake myself out of it. “You’re getting me off-track. We’re pranking her. The whole crew’s in on it. You’re the last conspirator.”

  Kelly reaches up, takes me by the hand, and shoots me a sly look. “I don’t know the details, but I do know I’m in.”

  “Well, by all means, let’s get this party started, then.” I pull her up off the couch and look around for a prop. I pick up a badminton racket.

  “What in the world do you have that in your trailer for?”

  “Moments like these, I guess.” I raise an eyebrow, raise the racket, and give the leather seat behind her a good whack.

  She giggles and calls out loudly, “Yes! Andy!” She grins ear to ear.

  That’s my girl. She knows how to get up to some trouble, this one.

  “Hold that thought. I should probably see if she’s even anywhere nearby.” I grab my phone to call Tucker, the lookout.

  Kelly picks up the racket, climbs up on the couch. She holds on to a grab rail and starts jumping.

  “What’re you doing?”

  “Trying to rock the trailer. I don’t know if this beast of a land yacht will wiggle at all.”

  My cell rings. “Yes?”

  Tucker’s on the line. I put him on speaker. “She’s headed your way. Repeat, Red Herring is on the move.”

  “Red Herring?” Kelly looks like a tween at a slumber party, bouncing up and down on the couch.

  “Hey now, don’t fall off. You’re supposed to be taking it easy, Kelly Belly. And, yeah, we call Amanda Red Herring.”

  “You and your nicknames. Does she know you call her that?”

  I jump up next to Kelly on the leather couch. “She’d throw a fit if she did. She’s coming. Let’s get wild, shall we?”

  Kelly hands me the racket and hollers, “Yeah, baby! That’s the way I like it, daddy!”

  I can’t even. She’s so silly. I snort out loud.

  She elbows me, whispering. “C’mon! Someone’s outside the door! Don’t chicken out.”

  Man, she’s fun. I grab the blinds and rattle them, whack the couch with the badminton racket. “That’s how baby likes it, don’t she? Huh, baby? Huh?”

  Kelly crosses her eyes. “Get the Crisco! Ride ’em, cowgirl!”

  And then the trailer door opens, and Jordan Aaronson steps inside.

  Kelly and I freeze.

  “What in the actual fuck, Andy?” His eyes go to the badminton racket.

  Kelly and I are out of breath. “Just hanging with my girl.” I step down and turn to help Kelly down from the couch as gracefully as I can. She smooths out her clothes, takes the racket from me, and hides it behind her back.

  “Jordan Aaronson, this is Kelly Reynolds, my girlfriend.” I look at Kelly. She’s biting her lip hard, trying not to laugh. “Jordan runs Apotheosis. He’s in charge of this production.”

  Jordan shakes Kelly’s hand. “This circus, apparently. What are you two doing? The whole crew’s sneaking around, hiding in the bushes outside.” His mouth puckers into a sour-lemon pinch.

  “Aw, Jordan, we’re trying to prank Amanda. A total harmless gag.”

  “And a total time-suck. We’re burning more than daylight. We’re burning profit margin.”

  Kelly looks at her toes. She’s a pleaser.

  On the other hand, I am not. “It’ll all be just fine, Jordan. You should keep morale up, you know. A happy film crew is a productive crew.”

  Jordan runs his tongue over his front teeth and cocks an eyebrow in irritation. He pulls out his phone and checks it. “You and Amanda are due on set in ten.” He shoves the phone back into the pocket of his coat. “Nice to meet you, Kelly.”

  He turns around and walks back down the trailer’s steps, snaps the door shut behind him.

  “Isn’t he a total ray of sunshine?” Kelly looks at me.

  Tucker opens the door and yells, “You guys!”

  I take Kelly’s hand, and we go out on the pavement. About twenty crew members applaud.

  I look at Tucker. “Did Amanda even walk by?”

  Tucker laughs. “She did not. Pretty sure Jordan was within earshot for the Crisco remark, though. Classic.”

  I give Kelly a hug. “We aim to please. Don’t tell Jeremy. He’ll lose it.”

  “Lose what?” Jeremy’s sitting on the bumper of his New York-rented Benz.

  “Ruh-roh, Shaggy.” Kelly gives me a peck on the cheek and retreats into the trailer. “Call me when it’s all over.”

  I look at Jeremy. “I can explain.”

  Jeremy smiles. “Jordan’s a dick. Amanda would’ve been more fun, but if you’re gettin’ the trailer rocking, Jordan’ll work in a pinch too. Let’s go talk about how you’re gonna make me money today, son.”

  He claps me on the shoulder, and we walk toward the set.

  The rest of the day drags. Kelly has to go, and I envy her. Amanda’s being a real pain in the ass. Kelly got to miss all of her antics. Probably good that she did—I’m not too keen on Kelly crossing paths with Amanda. Right now we’re shooting dialogue-heavy scenes, and Amanda keeps screwing up her lines. Little flubs, nothing big, but Chase McDougal is not an ad-libber. He co-wrote the script. He expects it memorized. The actor hits his marks, says his lines. Granted, they’re good lines, so I’m okay with it, but on a film like this, the actor isn’t the boss. Not even close.

  Amanda will never cop to being unprepared, so she’s been stalking around, looking for someone to blame for her mistakes. No one has made eye contact with her since we came back from lunch—they’re terrified of getting stuck as the scapegoat.

  When Chase’s PA calls a wrap for the day at four that afternoon, and I swear to God I hear someone yell out “Hallelujah,” like we’re in church. It’s all I can do not to laugh out loud on that one. Whoever said it deserves a huge bonus.

  Tucker picks me up after the makeup trailer. “Good God and gravy, that was a long one.”

  “Don’t say a word. Until I’m at the condo, I’m terrified someone’s going to call me back to set.” We pick up our pace and meet Janus, waiting with the car.

  We drive back to the condo, and I scan the outside of the building. “No tails yet.”

  “They tried to follow us back from set.” Janus looks at me in the rearview.

  “Really?”

  Tucker nods. They seem to know everything the other one knows, and all at the same time. Maybe they’ve done a mind meld.

  “I lost him at the turn to the underpass.”

  “Where’s Jeremy?”

  “Don’t you remember? You and Kelly are due at the Frying Pan. Investors. I think the crew from Dubai.”

  “Oh joy. Do I have time to change?” I wore a T-shirt to set this morning. I’d love to shower before we go. “Amanda’s going to be there, isn’t she?”

  “Sorry.” Tucker has less patience for her than I do.

  I rush up to the condo, grab a shower, put on a clean shirt, and stuff a grilled cheese sandwich Kelly’s made me in my mouth. She waits for me with Tucker. They chat about all sorts of stuff, and I hear her giggle. The boys are in the media room with Janus.

  Apotheosis is sending someone from a nanny service over, at my request, but Aaronson insisted that security stay put too since the nanny service wouldn’t fax over a cleared background check. Poor Janus didn’t realize he was babysitting tonight. Kelly asked Mari first, but she begged off with some excuse about a date. Luckily Janus likes Halo as much as the boys. They’re knee deep in some covert-ops level when we leave. The nanny from the service sits in the kitchen looking nervous.

  Tucker drives, and I sit in back with Kelly. We wind through traffic over to the piers.

  Kelly’s curious. “What’s this place we’re going to?”

  “It’s cool. It’ll be perfect tonight. Nice breeze off the ocean. It’s on a docked old fireboat. They serve buckets of beers and clams.” Last time I ate here, I was not sober yet. I shake what potential memories could come back by resting m
y hand on Kelly’s knee.

  “Clams?” She makes a puke face.

  “Nice cool fresh breeze off the ocean and river. Not going to make you puke, I promise.”

  “Boat, rocking on the water?” She looks dubious.

  I stroke her knee a bit. “I’ll keep your mind on other things.” I raise an eyebrow.

  She leans over and kisses me, nipping my lower lip to finish the kiss off. Now she raises an eyebrow. “I like the sound of that.”

  Huh. Maybe this pregnancy hormone thing does more than just make Kelly throw up.

  She puts her hand on my knee now, and she’s dangerously close to driving me nuts when we pull up to the pier. Now I don’t want to go. I want to stay in the car and get her out of these clothes. No time like the present.

  Tucker, ever the psychic, announces our arrival. “Time to get out, Pettigrew.”

  “Fine.” I kiss Kelly, lingering just a bit too long, and climb out. Tucker offers her a hand.

  We get on the ship, and Kelly excuses herself to look for a restroom. Jeremy introduces me to a few people before I see Jordan Aaronson approaching.

  “Yay, here comes our favorite person.” I plaster on my acting face.

  Jeremy fakes a smile. He’s not a good actor. He’s lucky he’s an agent. “Aaronson.”

  “King.” They compete for the firm handshake award. Jeremy looks like he might twist Jordan’s arm and make him cry uncle.

  “Jordan.” I give a normal handshake—I’m not getting sucked into their game.

  “Hey, Andy. Where’s your lovely girl?”

  “Good question. She’s been fighting a bit of a stomach bug lately. I better go look for her.”

  I don’t know if she’s sick, but she did slip away. Now I’m worried. I find the door to below deck and follow the narrow gray metal stairs to the belly of the ship.

  I stand around for a second. The ladies’ room is to the left, and there are thick velvet curtains draped around the entrance. I’m tempted to edge a little closer and call for Kelly, but I don’t want anyone else to come see what’s up. This is close quarters, and the “Hey, you’re Andy Pettigrew! Wow, can I get a picture while outside of a bathroom?” is one of my least favorite fan encounters.