She stared at him, struck silent. That was it? No drama, no heroics—just boys being boys.
She thought of Clive's mother, of her own mother, and the mothers in Green Roads who had just buried their children. All the love, all the protection mothers offered, and it sometimes did no good at all.
She slid from the bed and went to him, desperate to soothe his suffering. When she stood next to him, she didn't know what to say. She leaned against the windowsill, facing him.
“I see people all the time,” she said, not sure where she was going with it, “who made life-lasting mistakes when they were young. Usually, it's sex.” She shrugged a little. “A few minutes of temptation, and they're left with a lifetime of herpes, and they have to always tell their partners, and deal with constant outbreaks, and be careful not to pass it on to children. Or maybe never be able to have children. Or AIDS—all of that, and they'll die early, too.” She rubbed her stomach and fought to keep her voice clear. “I took all those risks that night with you. I knew better.” Her laugh was bitter. “God, I'm a doctor. No one knows better than me about the risks. But I never even asked you to use a condom.”
He was looking at her now, but she couldn't meet his eyes, her face hot with shame. “S-so, I know it's not all your fault,” she continued. “I threw my own life away that night, but...”
He pulled her into his arms and she sobbed into his shaking shoulder. He was crying, too.
~~
Long after their tears had dried, Clive stirred. “It's getting late.” He murmured into her ear, but did not let go of her. She was warm and soft against him, and he wished he never had to let her go.
“I don't know what will happen in the next few hours,” he said. “You need to know what we have planned.”
She stepped back, but her hands rested on his arms, keeping him close. “You have to go back to Kaarmanesh, don't you? For the full moon?”
“That's the law. But it's not what we're doing.”
She gazed at him with guarded alertness. “Tell me.”
He explained as best he could. When he stopped talking, she sat on the visitor's chair by her bed and rubbed at the cut on her left arm, frowning in thought. He crossed to the bed, half sitting against it, but looked up at the sound of footsteps, not surprised to see Kasia in the doorway. He was surprised to see Will Summerlin behind her.
Tina glanced at them, but turned back to Clive. “You're sure about this? You, in wolf form, are really the best hope of finding and defeating him?”
He knelt in front of her, taking her hand. She clenched his with a gratifying strength. “All magic is specific,” he said. “Werewolf magic calls to werewolf magic. It is inescapable, and it is very, very violent.” He raised her hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on her palm. “I will find him.”
“But you could be killed.”
“Yes.” He held a finger against her lips. “Remember what he did to you. You must understand he'll do the same to other Flatlanders. Shandari cannot heal them all. You must acknowledge that I can't allow him to remain here, whatever the cost.”
Tears glistened in her eyes, but she nodded. They stood together and she kept hold of his hand. They turned to face the others and he felt a brief squeeze on his fingers as Tina spoke, her eyes on Kasia.
“What is your plan? Does he go out there alone?”
“We'll have a perimeter of guards,” Kasia said as she leaned against the wall. “They are strengthening the perimeter fence—a magical fence, not an actual physical one—and they will remain there all night. They will be shielded and armed. But within that area, Clive will be alone with Fontaine.”
“What will happen if Clive is killed?” Tina asked, her voice trembling. “Won't your people be in just as much danger?”
“I won't lie to you, Tina. There's a slight possibility that Clive could be killed without causing any harm to Fontaine. In that case, we would be in serious danger. But there are many factors at work here, and most of them are good for us.”
“Such as?”
“Fontaine's ritual with you has backfired,” Kasia said. “Such a ritual must be consensual between all involved. You resisted him to the point of escape. When you did that, you caused him to lose much of the power he stole from you. Also, Clive has a specific advantage. As the baby's father, he has the right to defend his child from danger. He couldn't do this if you were working with Fontaine of your own will. But you're not, so Clive can add his resistance to yours. Even among Flatland humans, the instinct to protect your young is strong. In Kaarmanesh, it is even more so. Clive will be fighting with the strength of evolutionary fury.”
Tina turned to Clive. “So this will make you stronger than him? Faster? More agile?”
“It's possible I have that advantage anyway,” he said.
She withdrew her hand, crossing her arms over her chest. He reached for her and tucked his palm around her fingers.
“It will make me stronger, faster, more agile. More than Fontaine?” He shrugged. “I can't tell you that. But there's a damn good chance it will.”
Kasia sounded impatient when she spoke.“The point is Clive will almost certainly hurt Fontaine. If I were betting on this fight—hell, I am betting on this fight—I would bet on Clive killing Fontaine. I'm almost positive he will at least injure him enough for my people to handle him.”
“But you're not betting on Clive coming out alive.” Tina had released her arms and was returning Clive's grip, her eyes intent on Kasia's face.
“Tina.” Kasia’s voice was gentle, and she stepped forward to clasp Tina's shoulders. She gazed with earnest truthfulness into Tina’s eyes. “Clive is my friend. I want him to survive. He’s out there on my order. I assure you, I don't take that responsibility lightly. I've got fifty agents on this case, and I will do everything in my power to bring all of them home.
“We'll leave within the hour,” Kasia added, turning to Clive. “I want you in the field thirty minutes before dusk.” He nodded and Kasia glanced from him to Tina. “Say your good-byes, and I'll meet you out front.”
She left, ignoring Will, who remained in the doorway with his arms folded. He had not missed a word. Will shot Clive a warning glare and followed Kasia out, closing the door as he went.
Clive's sigh was cut off when Tina threw herself against him and wrapped him in a tight hold.
“You've got to live,” she said. “Promise me.”
“I can promise to try,” he said, holding her close.
“Not good enough.”
“Tina.” His breath caused a few strands of her hair to blow upward and tickle his face.”I can't promise something I have no control over. I won't say it just to give you false comfort.”
“Damn you.”
“Would you have the last words between us be a lie?”
“Are you always so honest?”
“Where magic is concerned, yes. The stakes are too important. Especially in this case.” He tucked a finger under her chin, raising her face so he could look at her. “You have the most instinctual grasp of magic I've ever seen in a Flatlander. Everything you do and say is exactly what is needed to aid me out there.”
“How does it help when you won't promise?”
“Your desire for it binds me to try and provide it.” He stroked her hair, then her face, his thumb caressing her lips with deliberate provocation.
She pressed harder against him in response, bringing her lips close to his. “Are there other ways I can help you?”
Deep longing rose in him, an irresistible wave. He claimed her mouth in a gentle kiss. Her lips moved against his, with tenderness so different from the playful passion of their first night together.
It made no difference how much time they had. He needed to love her, to give her everything he could in this moment.
He stroked his hand under the top of her scrubs to cup her breast. She moaned, shifting so it fit more fully into his palm. Her tongue made eager flicks into his mouth as she tugged at his shirt,
pulling it from his pants.
Their time was short. He lifted her, laying her on the bed. He removed her top, sighing at the sight of her breasts, the nipples standing hard and straight. He stroked them, covering her throat with kisses before taking a nipple into his mouth. She gasped, arching against him, her fingers pulling through his hair.
He released her to remove his clothes and she slid out of her pants without moving from the bed. The scars on her arms and leg, flushed with blood from her arousal, gripped him with sorrow and rage. He allowed the feelings to fill him, to become a part of the magical strength he would need to face his adversary. He stroked her arms, his fingers exploring the scars with a feathery touch. His gaze moved to her stomach, which was not quite flat, her waist a bit wider than before, revealing the presence of his tiny son within her.
She brushed a hand over the area, her smile such a gentle combination of pride and love that for a moment he couldn't breathe. Then she reached for him, pulling him into the bed with her. He lay half on her, her skin a soft answer to the tingle of his body, her voice a tender murmur—his name, over and over between her gentle kisses along his throat.
He returned to her mouth, his tongue probing its delicious depths, just as his fingers probed between her legs, stroking her nub. He reached deep inside her until she gasped and moved away from his kiss. She took his face in her hands, staring into his eyes as tears seeped down her cheeks while she pressed her warm space against his hand, her legs spread wide in supplication.
“Help me,” she whispered, her fingers gentle on his face. “Fill me with love and make the terror go away. Make me believe it will be all right.”
He removed his hand and shifted to lay on top of her, sliding inside her with careful control. He moved in a gentle stroke, balancing on his arms to watch her tear-stained face.
“I promise you,” he said, “that after this night, you and your baby will be free and well. Healing will happen in all its forms.” He moved within her in slow counterpoint to his words, speaking to the quiet desperation in her eyes. “I love you, Tina. I don't know what future we have, but right now it doesn't matter. I love you. And I promise you will be free. You will be safe. I promise.”
Her fingers caressed his face, bringing his mouth down to hers in a deep kiss that kept time with their increasing thrusts. Clive could not do strong magic, but he saw his love for her and the child—a liquid river pouring from him. He channeled the river into Tina, letting it seep from his pores into hers, and pressed it into her with each thrust of his body, and each flick of his tongue.
He felt it return, a warm rush filling his body from head to toe, as Tina gave her own love back to him, a promise for the future. His soul seemed to expand, growing stronger to hold all the love flowing between them. This was powerful magic, and Clive had no idea how to control it. He let it fill him, and hoped it was the right thing to do.
Her kiss changed, her lips clinging to his as she gasped in ecstasy for many long seconds. Before she could catch her breath, his own lips tightened as he reached his climax. He thrust deeply into her with each wave of release. Her arms chained him to her, and their kiss turned gentle as they rode the waves downward to reality, until they lay quiet, faces turned into the other's neck.
They stayed that way for several minutes, and then he stirred and murmured into her ear. “And I promise to try with all my heart to come back to you.”
Chapter 35
Clive finished his second sandwich, then took his coffee to stand at the edge of the clearing where Ringstrom had set up his command center. He could feel the tension from his fellow agents, who watched him with nervous, sidelong glances, and kept their distance. No one knew when the Change would happen, and every one of them was prepared to shoot him at a moment's notice. The Flatlanders picked up on it and also avoided him, without understanding why.
Ringstrom knew. Sometime during last night's search, Kasia had felt it necessary to level with the human sheriff. Whether he believed Kasia or not, he kept an eye on Clive from his perch at a picnic table, fingering his holstered gun with quiet intensity.
Clive knew he wouldn't Change in front of any of them. His headache was still mild, and his blood sang more from Tina's recent touch than from the heat of the moon. He'd be alone in the forest long before it happened.
He sipped his coffee and stared into the trees.
The criminal's rage permeated the forest in a thick cloud. Clive was surprised it wasn't visible to Flatlander eyes. Damien was losing control, both of the situation and of himself. That made him less powerful, but more dangerous.
He heard footsteps and knew it was Kasia. He took another sip of coffee, not turning to greet her. This close to the Change, his own self-control was stretched to its limits, and talking to people just made it worse. He was usually alone by this time, even if not yet in the enclave.
Kasia spoke quietly, as if aware of his headache. “All the agents are out of the field and are posted around the perimeter. You can go in at any time. We found some of his traps—invisible pain fields. We don’t know how many there are or where they’re at. If you fall into one, we’ll do what we can.”
He nodded, still staring at the trees.
Kasia stood at his side, her own cup steaming in her hands. “Do you think he's Changed yet?”
“No.” Realizing his short answer might sound rude, he cleared his throat and added, “Soon, I expect. An hour or two.”
“Shandari suggested that it might be a more difficult transition in the Flatlands. It might delay the Change.”
Clive started to shake his head, but stopped at the sharp pain above his eye. “I doubt it will be delayed. The moon is still the moon. But I expect it will be more painful.”
“Oh.” Her shoulder brushed against his in sympathy.
“It will only be the beginning of tonight’s pain, I'm afraid,” he said, and drained his cup. His eyes roved the trees, betraying his restless anxiety. “He's angry.”
“Clive. Can you look at me?”
It took effort, but he turned to face her, squinting.
“I want you to know we'll do everything we can to protect you. Not just me. Every agent here is rooting for you. I know you don't have a lot of friends among the staff. I know how hard it's been for you because they always avoid you. But they respect you, Clive. And they trust you. Never once has any agent requested that I not assign you as a partner or team member. They may not have befriended you, but you are part of them, and they accept that. Please trust them. Depend on them to do their job.”
Her words were honey, slipping into his soul, clearing away the headache for a brief, merciful moment. “I will.”
~~
The forest was like a creature hiding from a predator. Clive stumbled through the trees as the last of the light faded, gun held ready in one hand. His immediate goal was the area where they'd found Tina. She'd not had time or the ability to get very far after her escape, so he was certain the cave was nearby.
That didn't mean his quarry was there, but it was a place to start.
His own Change was nearing. His head was in a vise, his vision narrowed to a tunnel in which his feet appeared, one at a time, in slow motion. He'd discarded his clothes soon after entering the forest and now sweat made his skin slick. Pine needles jabbed his feet and drops of blood revealed his trail.
He leaned gasping against a tree, staring at the gun dangling from his fingers, unable to process what it was. A sound, or a scent, or a knowing, brought his head up with a snap, and the hand with the gun followed to point straight ahead.
The other man was a moon shadow within nearby bushes. He was naked too. Light glinted off the sweat coating his body and he was bent over, fighting his Change. Clive shook with the pain of his own Changing, but his eyes and the gun were steady. His finger tightened on the trigger.
“I wanted to find the One that took her from me.” The other man’s voice sounded a deep hatred that slithered down Clive’s spine. “I wanted
him to see his own death with human eyes.”
“You still lose.” Clive had to force his voice out, to force his grated muscles to form words. “She’s destroyed you.” He pressed the trigger, falling as he did so. The shot flew wild, its roar drowning all other sounds. Pain lanced through his limbs, long shudders moved down his body, and his mind skittered in circles, unable to focus on logical thought.
He endured an eternity of pain, without thought, without light to break the darkness. Awareness returned with his muzzle buried in his front paws as he crouched in a pile of pine needles. Pain ebbed out of his body, sinking from head to shoulders.
It returned with a shock of terror when a great weight hurled into his side, knocking him onto his back. A slash tore into his shoulder as he rolled under a savage ball claws, teeth, and silver fur. His own teeth snapped onto a leg, leaving a sharp nip as the other wolf leapt away from him, skidding to a stop a few feet away. Clive scrambled to his feet, ready to lunge. The silver wolf growled once as moonlight gleamed off his eyes, then bounced through the trees, and disappeared into the darkness.
Clive followed, letting his torn shoulder set the pace. The other wolf smelled of danger and threat. Every instinct told Clive to pursue, to kill without hesitation. The other wolf was a danger to Clive’s mate and cub.
Strength returned to Clive with every step as the instinct to protect his mate grew. The silver wolf had caught him asleep, but that wouldn't happen again. He searched through the trees, following the other wolf's scent, alert for all signs of danger. He whined once at the wrong smell of this forest.
The moon was higher when he glimpsed his quarry farther down the hill, and he turned that way, sliding between trees. Crouching, he crawled close to the ground, each paw placed with silent care. Reaching forward with his right paw, he drew it back with a yelp as pain tore through his leg. He jumped back, trembling. He stared ahead, sensing something, but there was nothing there.
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