by Tasha Jones
Her body rocked in sync with mine. Her legs curled around me, and her nails pushed harder against my skin. Judging by her breathing and her reaction she was getting closer too. Her head was off the bed, her mouth by my ear. The sound of her gasping was enough to send me over the edge.
I came inside of her, an explosion of ecstasy. I could feel how I filled her up, pumping love and lust and promises into her. Her body shivered and shuddered around me, and just as I came down from my own orgasm she leapt into hers. She cried out, mouth open with no reserves. Her body curled against mine, her back arched and her eyes squeezed shut. I could feel her core clamp down on me and spasm as the waves of her orgasm rocked through her body and mine.
Finally her body relaxed. She flattened her hands on my back, and opened her eyes. Her pupils were so dilated her eyes looked almost black. She looked shy, which was something I didn’t see on her often. I slowly pulled out of her, my hard-on dying down, and collapsed next to her.
“Oh my god,” she said hoarsely. I felt the same. For a moment we just lay there.
Then the tendrils of reality crept in, sucking the fantasy we’d been in away.
“Oh my god,” Tamika said again, and this time it didn’t sound like a compliment as much as an exclamation.
“Shit,” she said and sat up, looking for her clothes.
“Tam?”
“You have to get out of here,” she said, finding her shorts on the floor and pulling them out.
“But—“
“No, seriously. I don’t know what time Aaron will be back. And Vanessa… shit.”
She found her bra and put it on. She was sexy as hell in her shorts and her bra, but her face was contorted with an emotion I couldn’t read, and she kept mumbling no, no, no under her breath.
I followed her example, not because I was so eager to run away, but because her panic was starting to freak me out, and getting dressed seemed like the right thing to do.
“You didn’t even tell me what you were here for,” she finally said when she’d pulled her tank top back on. She looked in the mirror against the wall and smoothed her hair. “And here I go and sleep with a man with a girlfriend. This was such a mistake.”
That sentence had me stopping in my tracks. I looked at her. She was still fussing over her hair in the mirror.
“What?” I asked.
“I shouldn’t have done this. You have her. And I… dammit.” She dropped her hands to her side and turned to me. “I can’t do this again, Noah.”
“You don’t have to..." I started, but she cut me off.
“Of course I do. I’m here on business. Your girlfriend’s business, to be exact. And we’re over. We don’t do this.” She waved her hand between us. “We can’t do this again. I can’t.”
“But it wasn’t over,” I said, my voice sounding small. “How can you just walk out after all of that?” I pointed at the bed where we’d just been. “How can you just throw it all away again?”
Her face closed, and I knew I’d lost her. This was the new Tamika. The one I wasn’t allowed to call Tam. The one that didn’t want me.
“Excuse me? I’m the one that threw it all away?” she narrowed her eyes at me, her head turned slightly to the side.
“Well, you left, didn’t you?” I said.
“Really, that’s what you remember? Out of everything that happened, you remember me leaving, so I’m the one that messed this up? What do you think would have happened if I stayed? Would you have manned up and been a father? Would you?”
The word ‘father’ made me go cold. “I’m not father-material, Tamika. You know that.”
“Yeah, you made that quite clear. And by being such a dick about it, you fell out of the boyfriend-material bracket, too.” She crossed her arms over her chest, shifting her weight to one leg. She looked just like the teenager she used to be long ago.
“That’s not fair. It wasn’t my fault you got pregnant.”
“Oh, I did it all by myself, did I?” she sneered. “You’re right, I should have taken full responsibility for it. In fact, that was what I did. So you win.”
I clenched my hands into fists and took a deep breath to calm myself down. The shift from lust to anger had been so sudden I was still trying to find my balance.
“You had no right to get rid of it!” my voice was getting louder. “I had a say in that, didn’t I?”
“Is that what this is about? You’re all upset because you couldn’t say what happened to the baby after you made it clear you didn’t want either of us?”
I ground my teeth, trying to count to ten before I answered. “I couldn’t be like him, okay? I didn’t exactly have the best example to go by. I couldn’t do to the child what my dad did to me.”
Tamika’s expression softened. “Is that what it was all about? Dammit Noah. Why didn’t you just talk to me?”
“What was I supposed to say? That I didn’t know how to be a man?”
“Well it would have been better than making me feel like I was a disappointment as a woman,” she said and that wall slammed back into place. “I had to make all the decisions alone. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a teenager, alone, pregnant and in a new city? You really screwed me over, Noah.”
“So you got rid of it,” I said coldly. “It didn’t work for you, so you just decided...“
The door opened and Aaron walked into the room, cutting my sentence short. He looked from Tamika to me, and back.
“Okay…” he said. Then to Tamika, “is this guy bothering you?”
Tamika looked at me, eyes hard and cold.
“Noah was just leaving,” she said, and looked at me pointedly. Aaron took off his blazer, and straightened out. I bet I could take him in a fight, but what was the point? She didn’t want me, so what would I be fighting for? I shook my head and walked out of the door.
“Find what you were looking for?” Carol asked me from the reception counter with a smirk. I ignored her and stomped out.
Chapter 5 - Tamika
“Well, that was interesting,” Aaron said once Noah left the room. I was aware of the smell of our sex hanging in the air and wondered if he would notice it too. “What did he want?”
I shrugged. “He came to talk about Vanessa.” I realized he’d never gotten around to saying what he’d come to say. I wasn’t even sure what it could have been, anymore. He’d walked in that door, looking at me the way he used to, and he’d pulled the rug from under me. My body still hummed with the feel of him. I could still trace the print of his body against mine.
“What about her?” Aaron asked.
“I guess he was upset about the division of assets too,” I said vaguely.
Aaron chuckled. “Amazing how people get when there’s money involved, eh?”
I nodded.
“How did your day go?” I asked.
“You were right about those damn offices,” he said. “I need to remember you know what you’re talking about. I’m going to take a shower.” He winked at me and I wasn’t sure what he meant by it. I held up my front until he closed the bathroom door behind him. The moment the water turned on, a rush against the wall close to the bed, I sunk down onto the floor.
What the hell happened? How was I going to pull myself together again?
***
I walked into the River Café on the Old Ingram Loop just after seven. I had to get out of that hotel. I had to clear my head.
A young waitress with red hair showed me to my seat, and I was relieved that for a change it wasn’t someone I knew.
“What can I get you?” she asked, notepad ready. I ordered a glass of wine. The view was breathtaking. The sun headed towards the horizon even though it wouldn’t be sunset for a while still, and the Guadalupe River banks were lush and green with big trees surrounding the Café.
The restaurant was like a log cabin, and it had always served good food. I sighed.
“Tamika?” I heard a voice behind me, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Who was it g
oing to be now? But Vanessa came into view.
“Vanessa? Hi,” I said. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or annoyed that it was her. I felt a pang of guilt, but I shoved it to the side before it could get to me. Now was not the time.
“I just wanted to talk to you. I saw you come in here and it’s just my luck… can I sit down?”
She sat down opposite me before I could answer, the green checkered tablecloth between us. She fiddled with the salt shaker.
“I just wanted to apologize for my behavior lately,” she said. “It’s just been really rough, you know?” Her eyes shimmered and I prayed she wouldn’t start crying. I was a property administrator. Babysitting teary clients wasn’t my job.
“It’s okay, Vanessa. Really. I know it’s hard, in my line of work I don’t exactly get to see people at their best.”
“I just really thought you were a bitch, coming in here and telling me how much I’m not allowed to take care of, and then how much I’m not allowed to get in the end.”
I blinked, unsure if she was trying to insult me. But her tone of voice was friendly despite the fact that she’d just called me a bitch.
“It’s okay,” I said again, but I was less serious about meaning it this time round.
Vanessa sighed and looked at my wine glass. “That looks like such a good idea,” she said and flagged down the waitress. “I’ll have one of those, too,” she said, pointing at my glass.
“I actually came here to take some time for myself,” I said. I didn’t want her here. Even if I had wanted to sit down with someone, I still wouldn’t have wanted her around.
“Oh, I know how it is,” she said. “Sometimes I really need to get away too. Sometimes work is just too much. I’m sure you know what I mean.”
“Yeah…” I said, and groaned inwardly. Vanessa’s wine arrived, and the waitress asked if we were ready to order food.
“Actually I’m just going to have this and then leave,” I said. I’d meant to stay, but not if Vanessa was going to be around. The waitress nodded and turned to leave, and nearly ran into Aaron who’d appeared behind her. He politely stepped around the girl, and sat down on my left.
“Aaron,” I said, not even bothering to be civil about it. “What are you doing here?”
“Sorry to barge in on your night, but Larry called. He wants to talk to you.”
“I have my phone with me,” I said, but when I pulled it out of my handbag, the battery was dead. “Dammit.”
Aaron handed me his phone, and I took it. “I won’t be long,” I said to no one in particular, and got up, walking to the back of the restaurant.
“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day,” Larry said. All business, this guy.
“Sorry.”
“How are things coming along with the estate?”
“We’re making progress, but it’s a messy one. And the stepdaughter isn’t taking this very well. But I’m sure we’ll get it all sorted soon.”
“Good, because I want you back here. There’s too much to do for you to be lounging around in Texas all week.”
I didn’t argue. Larry sent me here, and Larry would demand me back. As an employer he was grouchy and demanding at best. As a person he was even worse.
“I’ll keep you posted,” I said. “But if I can help it we won’t be here a minute longer than is absolutely necessary.”
Larry hung up without saying goodbye. I didn’t bother speaking into the dead phone. I walked back to the table.
And saw Noah, sitting opposite Aaron, to the right of my seat. Great. My body filled with dread and I felt like my legs were suddenly made of lead. My night was going to be everything but quiet. I wondered if I would be able to get away. Maybe I could slip away before they saw me. But then Aaron noticed me and waved me over like we were a jolly party and I was missing out on the fun. I steeled myself and joined them. I gave Aaron back his phone.
“I didn’t expect you here,” Noah said when I sat down.
“Likewise,” I answered. My words were clipped. I was careful to keep the emotion out of my voice. I wanted to scream and shout at him. I wanted to fall into his arms and cry. I wanted to slap him. And the rollercoaster of emotions I was working through annoyed me.
“So, is everyone staying for dinner, now?” I asked sarcastically.
“Oh, that would be great,” Noah said. I glared at him. He was toying with me, and his smirk proved it. There’s a downside to knowing people so well, and in all these years apart, a lot about Noah was still exactly the same. Vanessa took his hand on the table. The same had that had been on every inch of my body. I stared at their fingers interlinking for a second.
“Well, I just might as well then,” Aaron said. When I looked at him, he was looking at Noah, eyes dark and churning.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I said. He leaned closer to me and lowered his voice so I would be the only one to hear it.
“If he’s staying, I’d rather too. You guys didn’t look too friendly when I came in this afternoon.” If only he knew. “Rather two on two than you having to fend for yourself.”
I nodded and let out a shaky breath. This wasn’t what I had planned for my night at all.
“So, Miss Bloom—“ Aaron started.
“Vanessa, tonight. Please.”
“Right. What do you do?”
Vanessa smiled at Aaron. I didn’t miss the little squeeze on Noah’s hand. “I’m a children’s psychologist. I work with troubled teenagers, and I opened a school for Special Needs children,” she said.
“Wow,” Aaron said. “That seems like quite a job.”
“Oh it is. It’s not easy. But someone has to do it.” I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her air of superiority. “Besides, the results make it all worth it. Most of these kids just want to know someone cares.”
“Do you care?” I asked. It sounded a lot more hostile than I meant it.
“Of course I do,” she said. “I feel like every one of those kids are my own.”
“Until you have your own, of course. Then it’ll be different, I’m sure?”
She turned her eyes to the table, fiddling with a napkin. “Oh, I don’t want children of my own,” she said. I blinked at her.
“That doesn’t make sense, does it?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I think parenting is for a very particular kind of person. I’m not really cut from the same cloth, you know. I can deal with these kids in a professional capacity, and one or two hours a week is one thing. But what do I do when the baby is crying? Or if my child doesn’t have a psychological issue?”
I wanted to say something, but Vanessa carried on. “I’m not really that kind of person. Noah here is much better with the kids than I am.”
Her words whipped around me, and a shrill ringing started between my ears, bouncing around my skull.
“Noah?” I asked.
“Oh yes. Sometimes when he comes to Kerrville we spend time with the kids. He’s amazing with them, so patient and kind. And he’s always telling them some story with a moral to it. I can’t put moral values into stories like Noah can. Compared to him I just sound like I’m preaching.”
I stared at Noah, who refused to make eye contact. He slowly pulled his hand from underneath Vanessa’s. She didn’t seem to mind. My blood boiled under my skin, because he was two-faced. Because I cared at all. I took a deep breath and crossed my one leg over the other.
“That’s interesting for a man who doesn’t have any moral values of his own,” I said. The words were out before I could stop them, and they hung in the air between us. I felt betrayed. He couldn’t be a father to his own unborn child, but he could help some egotistical bitch take care of children that didn’t even belong to him?
Everyone looked at me. Aaron was amused. Vanessa appalled. And when I looked at Noah, he didn’t look outraged as I’d expected. He looked hurt.
“Tamika…” Aaron said softly. Not a reprimand, a suggestion. I was being mean. I looked down at t
he table. The waitress appeared, and we ordered food. I picked the first thing my eyes landed on in the menu. Vanessa ordered a meal that she changed almost everything of, with the waitress scribbling furiously. Aaron ordered a steak. When Noah said he’d have the same, Aaron cleared his throat.
“Actually, I’ll have the baked chicken,” he said. There was no verbal reaction, but the atmosphere wobbled.
Noah put both hands on the table and interlinked his own fingers, leaning on his elbows. I was aware of how close he was, and I could smell his scent from here. I wondered if Vanessa would have been able to tell we’d had sex. He was still wearing the same clothes, even though he was dustier now. I realized that I didn’t even know what Noah did.
“What do you do?” I asked. Noah looked at me like he was surprised I asked, but then he answered.
“I run a ranch down on River Valley road,” he said.
“Oh, that sounds nice,” I answered. I was happy that he’d found a job at least. “Does your father live there with you?”
Noah’s face closed. I knew I shouldn’t have brought his father up, but I couldn’t help myself. I was angry and anything I could find to needle him now just slipped out.
“My father passed away,” he said softly. I could see the conflict of emotions on his face. I could just imagine that he was relieved to be free of him, but there had been a lot wrong with their relationship before I’d left. I wondered if he’d had a chance to fix it. I wasn’t going to ask.
“I’m sorry,” I said, and I really meant it. I’d put my foot in my mouth because of my temper, and now I regretted it. “Are the owners nice to work with?” I asked.
Noah looked up at me confused for a moment. Then his expression changed, emotions flickering across his face too fast for me to read.
“Actually Noah...“ Vanessa said but Noah grabbed her hand to shut her up.
“They’re okay,” he said. Vanessa frowned at him, but he kept going. “A little moody at times, sometimes they don’t follow through and I think they could have a bit more spine, but it’s not a bad job.”
“Well, that’s nice,” I said. An awkward silence filled the spaces between us. I swirled the last sip of wine around in my glass so I had something to do. Aaron checked his phone. The only person that didn’t look like she felt out of place was Vanessa.