by Kevin Lucia
But I’m a still writer. Published or not. There’s an old saying, I’m not sure from where: “You’re a fighter. And a fighter fights.” Well, writers write. And I’ve been doing that a lot lately, writing and writing and writing, but…
This is different than the kind of writing I used to do. This writing is uncovering things, unlocking doors, revealing things hidden and forgotten, terrible truths that may very well explain all the darkness that’s grown inside my soul over the years, leading me to where I am today…
Like that moment, at the window.
When I wanted to turn and look, turn and see the sliding. I think that’s the source of everything, maybe even the reason why all this is happening to me right now, with all this uncovering.
Because I want to see.
I’ve always wanted to see, wanted to see those dark things we dismiss and ignore in the comforting light of day. I’ve always wanted to see that thing hiding in the shadows, just around the corner, that thing in the night, hiding under the bed, in the basement, those dark things that dwell and hide there…
I’ve always wanted to see them.
And I’m only now admitting it to myself.
I saw something that day, and I wonder if that’s why I eventually became a writer to begin with. Writing is seeing, isn’t it? At the very least, when I write, I seek to see.
I don’t think the sliding has ever gone away.
I think it’s always been with me, since that day. But maybe I didn’t hear it, because in all my writing that got published, I wasn’t seeing.
But now...I need to see.
Even if I really don’t want to.
And when I write, things are quiet. Peaceful. But if I don’t write, if I dare skip an evening confessional with my iBook, I dream. Of horrible things sliding down the hall, toward my bedroom, shuffling, slithering, sliding…
But never getting any closer. And somehow, I think I can hold it at bay… as long as I keep writing.
Enough for now. Time to sleep. I can only hope that I’ve written enough, and that the sliding won’t come any closer tonight.
About the author
Kevin Lucia is a Submissions Reader for Cemetery Dance Magazine and his podcast "Horror 101" is featured monthly on Tales to Terrify. His short fiction has appeared in several anthologies.
He’s currently finishing his Creative Writing Masters Degree at Binghamton University, he teaches high school English and lives in Castle Creek, New York with his wife and children.
He is the author of Hiram Grange& The Chosen One, Book Four of The Hiram Grange Chronicles. His first collection of Clifton Heights Tales, Things Slip Through was published November 2013. He’s currently working on his first novel.