LIV
When we got to the marina, Shaun parked the car and reached for my hand.
"Jay, everything is going to be okay. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
But his words didn't comfort me. I signaled to the athame tucked in the back of his pants.
"Do you know what that is, Shaun?" I still wondered why he went out of his way to grab it. "That is the blade I was telling you about. How did you even know it was there?"
"I saw it fall. I thought we could use it...to defend ourselves."
"That is what's attracting all this craziness. It all started after that thing showed up." I reached my hand out for it. "They're targeting you now, probably because you're protecting me. Please give it to me. I don't want you getting hurt."
"No," he said boldly, turning off the car and getting out quickly before I could protest. "We're in this together. Just wait here. I'll make sure the boat is safe, and then I'll signal to you."
As he ran down the dock, I stared at the handle of the athame against his back, wishing that I could bury it, sink it in the deep ocean waters, run as far away from it as possible. But I'd spent my whole life running. I never stopped. And now I was running harder than ever before. I was exhausted, but unable to rest. And I was getting nowhere. The darkness I'd always tried to escape surrounded me. And for the first time, I wanted to stop running from it. I wanted to stand still and face it. Whatever it was, it had already taken so much from me. I was not going to let it take another life. I didn't know how, but I had to stop it.
The sea was cold and black, and the stormy water rocked the boat. I kept my eyes on the dock, waiting for Shaun to emerge. I couldn't leave with him. I couldn't keep running. No matter where I went, they would find me. When I told him how I felt, it was going to be a fight.
Suddenly Shaun appeared and tore across the dock, waving his arms and shouting to me.
"Go! Jay! Get out of here!"
I flung the passenger door open for him and jumped into the driver's seat. Whatever he was running from, there was no way I was leaving him to deal with it alone. I turned the key and buckled my seatbelt, ready to take off as soon as he got in. But before he made it off the dock, an increasingly familiar fiery blue light tore across the sky. The bolt struck Shaun and he fell to his knees.
"Shaun!" I jumped out of the car and ran to him. His shaky voice still demanded that I go on without him. Vince stood behind him. When he saw me coming, he waved his hand at me again and my body flew through the air. As I landed in the moist grass and struggled to get back on my feet, Vince brought down one fiery blue bolt after the other. Shaun screamed in agony as each one hit him.
"STOP!" I yelled. Shaun's eyes filled with sadness as he reached for me.
"Jay! Please just go."
He was weak. By the time I got to him, he lay on the ground, motionless. Black scorch marks covered his body.
"Oh, Shaun, I am so sorry," I cried, pulling his lifeless body off the wet pavement and into my lap. He looked at me with desperation, and I watched the light fade from his eyes. He was dead. One more person was dead because of me, and I didn't know how to stop it. My body curled over his and I cried as the rain poured down on me.
I was alone. And I was responsible for all the death that filled my life. Grief and pain was all I knew, and it crashed inside me like the thunderous clouds above. Shaun's limp body slipped from my arms as white-hot rage lifted me to my feet. A tormented howl escaped my lips and seemed to send the tides back, carrying my fury thousands of miles to the darkest, most desolate waters, where it would surely burn for an eternity.
I fixed my eyes on Vince. He turned away with no remorse and disappeared into the shadows.
"WHY!" I shouted, following him into the darkness. But he didn't stop. He didn't say a word. He continued to navigate the wet streets past the unwavering architecture with long, unhurried strides. He was completely indifferent. As the rain pelted my face and drenched my clothes, I finally closed in on him and unleashed my rage.
"You son of a bitch!" I screeched, jumping up and throwing my arms around his neck. I kicked so hard that his legs faltered and he stumbled. I pushed him to the ground and sat on his back, pinning his body facedown against the pavement with all my weight. He could have easily pushed me off. But he didn't.
"Why the hell are you doing this to me?" I screamed into his ear. The painful pitch made him wince, and in one quick motion he spun around beneath me and grabbed onto my waist. He pushed me down and hovered over me on his knees, pinning me beneath his solid body. I pushed back with all my might, but I couldn't penetrate his strength. He completely overpowered me. He held my wrists and I couldn't move, but I was too pissed to be scared.
"What the hell do you want?" I pushed through gritted teeth and tears. His face hovered so close to mine that I was forced to stare into his eyes. I hated my feelings for him. Even now, after I watched him kill Shaun, my irrepressible desire fought to the surface. With his warm body against mine, his thighs trapping me beneath him, his breath pounding against my lips, I could not stop the rush. I hate him so much.
His eyes were severe, like a dark raging storm. His expression, intense like an impervious wall holding back an ocean of mystery. But as he stared back at me, his face softened. Even the color of his eyes seemed to change, from dark and fierce to the warm, lucent amber I knew. Words were behind his lips, I felt it. He was about to let something burst forth. But then his grasp loosened.
He stood up, and then just turned and walked away. Of all the things he could have done to me, this was by far the worst. I jumped to my feet and demanded an answer, a word, anything. But he kept walking, completely ignoring me. I charged toward him again, shaking with rage, desperate for him to talk to me. He owed me this. Bailing without a word had become a habit for him, and I was going to help him break it.
When I got close, I reached for his shoulders to take him down again, but he spun around and grabbed my hands. He held them tightly and leaned in close, inches away from my face again, and finally he spoke.
"You don't want to hurt me, Jay. You are in serious danger. Go home. Please."
The intensity raging inside me suddenly snapped like a branch in a storm. My wrists went limp. His hands slipped away and he disappeared again into the shadows. I stood there alone in the misting rain, struggling to breathe as if somebody had just stolen all the air.
LV
I ran back to the marina, suddenly desperate to get home.
The thought of having to see Shaun's lifeless body again made me sick. It momentarily distracted me from the bomb Vince had just dropped. If he doesn't want to hurt me, then why the hell did he kill Shaun?
I had to call the police and report Shaun's death. Someone needed to come get his body. I recited what I'd tell them.
I was waiting in the car. I didn't see what happened, but I think he was struck by lightning. He was out in the storm, on his way back to the car.
This was the third murder in town in two short months. And all three were somehow connected to me. If Detective Laine wasn't already suspicious, he would be after this phone call.
I approached the marina and braced myself for the horrendous sight of Shaun's limp body. I slipped my hand into my pocket and grabbed my phone, preparing to make the dreaded call from the shelter of Shaun's car. But my phone slipped back into the depths of my pocket. I stared at the pavement where his body should have been, and searched frantically in all directions until I finally trusted my eyes. He was gone.
I saw him die. He was limp. Pale. I felt no pulse. Maybe he is still alive! I yelled his name as I ran down the dock to the boat. As soon as I stepped in, an overwhelming scent hit me. Something burned.
"Hello?" I called out as I searched the boat, hoping to find Shaun inside. His uncle's door was closed as usual, but the light was on. I knocked but nobody answered. My hand settled on the doorknob and I nervously turned it and pushed open the door. As my eyes swept the room for Shaun or his uncle, the r
eality of what I was seeing slowly settled in. Lifejackets, rafts, and boxes of supplies filled the small space. But there was no bed. No dresser. No personal items. No sign of an uncle at all. Shaun had lied to me.
I had to get the hell out of there. As I cut through the living room, I noticed a large black scorch mark on the carpet. I knelt down beside it, and I was overwhelmed by the burning smell that had hit me when I first walked in. I touched the charred carpet and it was still warm. Then I noticed a trail of blood from the scorch mark to the door. I followed it outside and it continued all the way up the dock, stopping exactly where I'd left Shaun's lifeless body. What the hell is going on?
As I ran to Shaun's car, I shouted his name again but got no reply. I was starting to wonder if I wanted one.
I drove Shaun's car back to Ruth's and crept inside. Waking Rena was the last thing I wanted to do. I grabbed the note I left her and ripped it into pieces on my way upstairs. Her door was closed and the lights were off. I locked my bedroom door behind me and turned on every light, half expecting Shaun to be sitting on my bed or in the small green chair in the corner. I pulled the shades down tight and closed the curtains, and I sat on my bed staring straight ahead, thinking about what Vince said.
You don't want to hurt me, Jay. You are in serious danger. Go home. Please.
It was three a.m. Everyone was asleep but me. Running on fumes, I sat in the chilling quiet. I hated it, but I hoped that nothing would interrupt it before sunrise. In the midst of this silence, a hopeful thought emerged. It was nine a.m. in Italy, and there was at least one person in the world that was awake and eager to talk to me.
LVI
"Jay, my sweet girl! Where have you been? I've been calling you for days!" Ruth's voice erupted with worry and relief. "What are you doing up so late?"
"I'm sorry I didn't call you back sooner. Things have been really crazy around here."
My voice trailed off into a ditch, stuck in the awkwardness of bringing up a subject she and I'd never spoken about.
"What's wrong, Jay?" Her voice took a hard, sobering turn. "Are you all right?"
"I don't know. I don't even know what to tell you. It's all so bizarre."
She said nothing but I felt the tension in her silence. After years of keeping secrets, the moment of truth was finally upon us.
"I'm in trouble," I continued.
"What kind of trouble, Jay?" Her voice plummeted into full-on panic.
"The kind of trouble that I can only talk to you and Celia about."
Silence took over on the other end of the phone again.
"Ruth? Are you still there?"
"Yes I'm here," she said reassuringly. "Tell me everything."
"I don't even know where to begin. Someone's after me. I was attacked. A teacher at my school was killed. I'm seeing really bizarre things. And something weird is going on with Shaun."
Ruth let out a deep, pained breath.
"I know I'm in danger. I read Gram's journal. You don't need to keep secrets from me anymore. I just need to know the truth."
After another anxious, thought-filled exhale, her reply surprised me.
"Go to Celia's shop. Our friend Luci will be there waiting for you," she said, and I knew she'd planned for this moment for a long time. "Celia and I will be there as soon as we can."
Before we said goodbye, I heard her shuffling things around. She was already packing. I was relieved to have a plan, but her sense of urgency made me even more afraid. She'd never sounded so worried.
***
I drove Shaun's car back into town and parked it in his usual spot. I still didn't know where he was or if he was alive. If he was dead, I was definitely going to end up at the top of the suspect list. I was his girlfriend, and I was with him that night—with all the commotion, somebody must've witnessed something and seen us together. My fingerprints were all over his car. All over the boat. But I didn't even care. I had worse things to worry about. I left the keys under the driver's side floor mat and carefully closed the door before I ran through the dark streets of Market Square to Celia's shop. When I got there, the door was still locked.
To my surprise, the bakery across the street was open. I'd never been in town at that hour before—it was barely past three. It was the only place that showed any sign of life. A delivery truck was parked out front, dropping off fresh bread and morning pastries. I smelled fresh coffee from the street. There was only one other patron inside, and he sat hunched over his cup, looking like he'd had a rough night too. I sat by the window and watched the entrance to Celia's shop, sipping my coffee and waiting like a bird perched and ready for the first worm to pop out of the ground.
Soon, I saw a woman approach the door. She jiggled the key in the lock until it opened. She was bundled against the morning chill with her head wrapped in a scarf. Her short, stout body was tucked under a wool shawl. I grabbed my bag and tossed my coffee in the nearest trash bin, and made my way across the street.
A glimmer of light from the streetlamp caught the silver letters on the white wooden sign hanging above the brick sidewalk. Celia's Natural Marketplace. As I approached the door I'd been through a million times, it suddenly seemed different. Artfully duplicitous. The shelves in Celia's shop were filled with all things natural. Food products, teas, homeopathic medicines and remedies, but also herbs, extracts, crystals, stones, and a plethora of other items seemingly benign to the majority of her customers, including me. But I'd begun to realize that much existed beneath the surface. Many of these items were quite potent to those who knew their value, like Gram. I'd spent so much time in that shop over the years, but like everything else that was once familiar, the obscuring veil lifted and it was new again.
The little bells tinkled as I pulled the door open. The smell of sandalwood and lavender immediately wrapped around me like a cozy blanket. I passed by the baskets full of stones and crystals, and the shelves full of new age books, candles, tapestries, incense, and oils.
"Hello?" I called softly, nervous to speak with a stranger about the insane things I'd seen and experienced. The store was so quiet. The first rays of early dawn were still far away, and the darkness of night seeped through the glass storefront. I nervously anticipated the woman's sudden emergence from behind the counter or around a tall shelf. Just then, a soft light went on above me. The curtains to the back room billowed and she emerged, stretching her arms out to me.
I gasped when I saw her face. She wrapped her familiar, safe arms around me. Her flowing clothes were a rainbow of color and softness, and they billowed with the scent of smoky incense and fresh linens just off the line. Her bracelets clanged together like a gentle wind chime as she rubbed her hands across my back. I melted into her, as if I was slipping under the wing of a nurturing mother bird. Celia called her Luci, but I knew her as Luciana. Signora Sovana.
LVII
From the moment we'd first met at Sovana's, our connection was one that I couldn't explain or deny. She was like family before I even knew her. And I began to wonder if there was a reason.
When I addressed her as Signora Sovana, she insisted that I call her Luci. She brought me through the curtains to the back room—a cozy space with a sofa and two chairs, a small kitchen, and a large closet where Celia kept supplies. The space was just as spirited as the store, ornamented with fine tapestries and bursting with color. Luci sat me down on the fluffy green sofa, and memories of my visits with Gram came pouring in.
"I've been waiting for you," she said in her thick Italian accent. She prepared a pot of tea, and came and sat down beside me while the water boiled. Somehow, I knew the wait she was referring to didn't start that morning when she arrived at the shop.
She pointed to the silver chain around my neck, and I pulled out the pendant and held it in my hand.
"The cimaruta," she said, holding it as she adjusted her glasses. "Your grandmother's?"
"Yes."
"And why are you wearing it, mia cara?" she asked, pleased that I was, but looking for th
e reason. She peered at me over the top of her glasses.
"I didn't know what else to do," I said, pure honesty pouring out of my mouth.
She adjusted herself on the sofa beside me and traced the upside down tree with her index finger.
"Strong roots that penetrate deep into the earth. Branches that reach far into the heavens. A connection between two worlds," she said. "The cimaruta is a powerful amulet. The sacred rue plant, after which the amulet is named, is revered for its power to protect, to ward off evil, and has been used for this purpose since the time of our ancestors.
"The three branches of the rue plant symbolize the three faces of our beloved goddess Diana. The maiden. The mother. The wise one. And each of these branches holds powerful charms with which we channel Diana's divine protection, knowledge, and strength."
I listened to Luci intently as tears stung my eyes. Her voice was so maternal, so genuinely loving. I thought of Gram and Mom and wished they could have explained these things to me. Luci saw the pain in my eyes and nodded her head as if she knew exactly what I was feeling, and she continued on as I wanted and needed her to.
"The fish symbolizes fertility and abundance. The key opens other realities and unlocks hidden knowledge. The serpent coiled around the full moon symbolizes connection. That of Diana, goddess of the moon, with the heavens and the earth. That of all gods and humankind. The bond between the overworld and the underworld. And the power of magic, to poison or to heal. The vervain blossom protects and calls forth the guardians of Nature, gentle spirits who serve Diana as their queen. The rooster, possessing the power of light to banish evil to the shadows, embodies Diana's true love Ataiun, god of the sun."
She flipped the amulet over and traced the back of it.
"Here, each charm mirrors itself, with one exception. The fish conceals the most important symbol of all. The sacred blade. A Strega's most powerful tool. We use our blades to channel Diana's power and the fiery light of the heavens."
Strega (Strega Series) Page 18