by Geeta Kakade
Licking her hand as if he knew her from another birth, his tail wagged nineteen to the dozen, while Kate searched the fur around his neck for a collar and identity tag. There was nothing.
“Miss Katie can I touch him now?” As Cody was already having his hand licked there was nothing Kate could do but agree.
The sound of an approaching car made the dog cower closer to the little boy.
“Good morning!” Brady looked well rested and very, very male in his denim shorts and cut off vest, it’s red color and brevity providing a perfect foil for his thought provoking torso. Didn’t he ever work at the weekends?
“Who do we have here? Rin Tin Tin?”
The dog sensing another sympathizer bounded over to him.
“He seems to be lost.”
“No name tag either,” Brady’s fingers were scratching the dog’s neck. Sitting on his haunches, the sinewed thighs taut to maintain balance, he looked the epitome of viripotent masculinity.
Cody had gone over to Brady. Leaning over his shoulder he asked, “Is he lost Uncle Brady?”
“Looks like it, buddy.”
Kate went inside, poured milk into an empty plastic tub that had at some time held whipped cream and crumbled bread into it.
The dog fell on the meal and they watched as he slurped noisily.
“Have you called the humane society?” Brady asked.
“Not yet,” said Kate knowing it’s what she had to do.
The animal had no tag. Had the owner simply abandoned it or was it a runaway? Without identification the humane society couldn’t find the owner. All they’d do was board the animal and wait a while for someone to claim it. Then it would be put to sleep.
“Maybe if we wait a while....” her eyes pleaded with Brady to understand.
“How long has the dog been here?”
“We saw it about nine this morning,” Kate said slowly.
“We have to call the humane society, Katie,” said Brady gently, “maybe the owners are already looking for it.”
He turned to go indoors.
‘Maybe not’, thought Kate rebelliously. ‘Maybe he’s just another stray like me. Maybe nobody gives a damn if he lives or dies.’
The officer that came out from the humane society was pleasant. Slipping a leash on the dog she put him in the back of her van, thanked them for calling her and said the dog seemed to come from a loving home, in which case his owner would surely be looking for him.
“Would you let us know if someone comes for him, please?” Kate hated to see the dog go.
“Sure,” the woman entered the Webbs’ telephone number in her cell phone. Then she was gone.
“He’ll be fine,” Brady said quietly.
Weren’t those the same words people used when they didn’t want to be bothered any more by something? A sop to their comfortable consciences?
“Have you ever been to an animal shelter Brady?” Kate demanded fiercely, “Have you seen the expression in those dogs’ eyes? Most of them know they’ve been abandoned, know they’re going to be put to sleep, through no fault of their own.”
Turning away without waiting for an answer she went indoors, brushing angrily at the tears on her face.
She fixed lunch without saying a word.
‘Stop doing this to yourself. Stop seeing a connection between you and the dog. Stop hearing Cody’s voice going around in your brain, `Who loves you Miss Katie? Who? Who? Who?’
Cody chattered about the dog and Brady listened as best as he could, his mind preoccupied with Katie’s turmoil.
I know you wanted me to do something more for the dog, Katie mine, but I’m sorry I couldn’t.
“I know what,” he said aloud startling Cody in the middle of his third round of, `I petted the dog,’ story, startling Katie too into looking up at him. “I know what we can do. We’ll make some notices about the dog and put them up at all the entrances to Jacaranda Meadows and by the grocery store. The owner’s sure to see one of them.”
When Katie smiled at him through her tears Brady knew he’d never need to see another rainbow for as long as he lived.
“Yes, please,” she said.
“Yes, please,” echoed an excited Cody, not very sure why his uncle and his teacher were looking at each other like that. Usually when his Mommy and Daddy did that it ended with him being told to go and play in his room for a while.
“Now,” he said hopefully, patting his uncle on the thigh.
“Right after lunch,” said Brady swinging him in the air.
They found an old cardboard box in the garage and Brady ripped it apart ending up with four surfaces they could use. Kate found red and black markers in her duffel bag and printed the signs in three inch capitals. They hung the first three on poles by the entrances to Jacaranda Meadows and the last one by the main entrance of the local grocery store. Then they all went home to wait and Cody went down for a late nap. His parents would be returning at eight and Kate was sure he’d want to stay up with them for a while.
At four that afternoon they had a call from a Mr. Wilson. He’d just seen one of their signs and called the animal shelter. His eight year old daughter had been crying her eyes out since the storm Wednesday night when the dog had disappeared. He couldn’t thank them enough.
“Oh, Brady,” her voice quivered with joy.
“Yes Katie?”
Here was her chance to fling herself into his arms, tell him she loved him no matter what, Brady thought. That’s when it happened in all the best movies anyway.
She didn’t. She reached up and brushed his mouth with lips as soft as crushed velvet, “Thank you.”
As second best, it didn’t rate too badly.
“Katie,” he reached for her and she homed into his arms nestling there wrapping her arms around his midriff with a strength that surprised him, her cheek heart high listening to the canter his heart had broken into.
Oh, oh! This is all wrong, Kathryn McArthur.
I know, but it feels so good. Let me have this little time with him. Tomorrow I’ll revert to normal.
Kate didn’t know she was being picked up till Brady swung her up and her hands came up to clasp his neck. He carried her to the couch in the family room and settled down holding her firmly on his lap.
“Don’t wiggle, Katie.”
Kate on the brink of rebellion decided to obey Brady. There was a powerful glow in his eyes, each pupil lit by a phosphorescent pinpoint that transfixed Kate and warned her to be quiet. Suddenly subdued, she realized kissing Brady thank you wasn’t a good idea. In future she would just send a card.
“Katie,” his mouth was on hers, gentle at first, changing to a marauding fierceness at her immediate unrestrained response, plunging deep into her as if to bring her very soul to the surface.
“Brady,” Kate gasped a little while later, “I can’t breathe.”
“Oh Katie,” he clasped her head where it lay against his neck, his fingers moving in her hair with the urgency of an advancing forest fire, afraid to go on, more afraid to stop, “Katie, marry me, please.”
Which did it of course. He ought to qualify at the Olympics for being the biggest fool in the world. She pushed his arms away and jumped up, raking a hand through her hair.
When she spoke her voice was softer than a whisper in the rain, “Brady I can’t.”
“Why not?” Brady demanded, determined to go for the gold. “Are you some kind of masochist? How can you deny what you feel and punish yourself like this? Love is not something you can turn away from at will. It’s rare and precious.”
“I don’t believe in love,” Kate said stubbornly.
“The hell you don’t,” bit out Brady savagely. “Tell me what it is I see on your face when you cuddle Cody, what made you cry over a birthday present from your friend, why you worried yourself sick over a stray dog, what made you hold me and kiss me as if you’ll never let me go. It’s all adds up to a four letter word Katie. You have an abundance of it. Let it out.”
“Cody and Nan are different, but from the man I marry I want security,” Kate’s voice was adamant.
“Do you? Do you really Katie? Search your heart Katie. See what it wants. If you set so much store by security would you have given up a well-paid job as a cashier to work in a preschool for minimum wage without medical insurance of any kind, refused my offer of a better job? You did that because you need love just like every other human being on the face of this earth. The children give it to you Katie, don’t they? The unquestioning love, the hugs and the kisses? I’ve seen you with them. I know how much it means to you. You want security, I agree, but you need love, because without it all the rest isn’t worth a dime.”
Kate didn’t say a word. She couldn’t. He saw the struggle that went on in her eyes, darkened to mint in the milk white face.
Brady waited a while, his anger dwindling to a spark borne off by the winds of his usual self control, and then he said, “Guess I’d better leave now.”
The thud of the front door seemed to coincide with the sound of the last brick being dropped into place in herself constructed tomb.
She checked on Cody, still fast asleep, picked up her bag of books and went downstairs. If only she could let go of the side of the pool she was clinging to, fling herself into the water. Brady was standing there to catch her, make sure she didn’t drown, hold her fast in his arms. But she couldn’t. She was too afraid.
Brady frowned as his secretary’s voice came over the wire, informing him his sister was on line two.
“Karen. Is everything alright?”
“Everything’s fine. Listen Brady, I didn’t know you asked Mum not to go to the preschool to pick up Cody.”
“That’s right.” He didn’t want his cover blown. “I’m picking him up at twelve.”
“Well I’ve got news for you. I’m having an ultrasound done today and I’ve asked if Cody can stay all day at the preschool. Now Mum says she can’t pick him up at four and Ben has a meeting this afternoon. Is it okay if Dad goes if you’re busy?”
“What?” said Brady in virtuously scandalized tones that would have done a Victorian mama credit, even as the blood coursed through his body like a speeding Concorde, at the thought of having a legitimate excuse for seeing Katie again, “You would ask your father to interrupt his game of golf, the only pleasure he has in his old age, to pick your son up? Shame on you, sis How selfish children are.” He tsked before continuing, "Tell you what. As you’re in such a fix I’ll just leave early and get Cody. But it’s just this once mind. I can’t have you interrupting my work schedule like this.”
"Brady...” the vexed note in Karen’s voice told him what he could expect the next time he saw her.
"Now Karen, temper, temper!”
Cody was restless. His Mom had told him she would be late today when she’d dropped him off and why, but Cody wanted her. He hadn’t been able to sleep during naptime and that had made him cranky as well.
Kate took one look at the brightly flushed cheeks, the barely restrained tears, as she lined up her class for outside play and called to Nan, “Think you can manage outside by yourself? I’d like to stay in with Cody.”
The older woman summed it all up with one quick glance, “Of course. The four year olds are going out as well. Three teachers to this bunch is as easy as making play dough.”
“Thanks Nan.”
Kate seated Cody on her lap in the large rocking chair and opened a Mercer Mayer book. Softly she began to rock and read Cody’s favorite story. His eyes had closed before she came to the end and Kate set the book down wrapping her arms around the boy, crooning softly to herself.
He felt so good against her. Brady’s sons would look like this. Curly black hair, gunmetal gray eyes and a smile that would always melt something in her heart when she looked at them.
Kate’s breath tangled in her throat. What was she thinking of? She would never know what Brady’s children looked like. It was madness to pursue this line of thought.
Brady. Her eyes closed of their own volition as she leaned her head back. How was she going to tell him she didn’t want to see him again? She had to do it and soon. Did she realize what that meant? Never look into the eyes that mirrored her every thought before she knew them herself, feel the comfort of those arms that could strain her to him with passion or cradle her in endless gentleness, be in the presence of a man who made her feel she was the rarest jewel in his world? Did she have the courage to bid love goodbye? Yet she couldn’t take any more of this yo-yo quality of her existence. A clean break would be best in the long run.
“Katie,” he was beside her on his haunches, his face inches from her own.
“Brady,” she gasped unable to believe her straying thoughts had materialized him, rich color flooding her face, “What are you doing here?”
Was he still angry with her? He had every right to be.
“I came for Cody,” a hand reached out and rested on the black waves, an inch away from her body and Kate felt a burgeoning in her, as if her breasts wanted to escape their lacy bonds and flow into that strong hand. Their eyes met and all Katie saw in the gray pools was as infinite tenderness.
‘She’s not mad at me though I sounded off like a jackass’, Brady thought, immensely relieved. Katie never sustained her anger. Her face reminded him of the Madonna’s as she shyly broke visual contact with him and looked at Cody.
Brady had a sudden vision of Katie with a child at her breast. Their baby. His mouth went dry and he had to wet his lips before he could speak, “How are you Katie?” His eyes were on level with hers.
The hummingbird was doing it’s bit in her throat making speech difficult, “Fine. And you?”
“Busy, but can I see you this weekend?”
She nodded weakly, stood up slowly, handed him Cody and walked towards the shelf that held Cody’s lunch pail. She would tell him then. Brady was there before her, turning to face her, leaving her no other choice but to look at him.
“Katie,” the moment was suspended in a silken cocoon as Brady looked at her and their gazes locked.
Every nerve in Kate’s body tingled and she wanted to reach up, wrap her arms around Brady’s neck and beg him to hold her forever.
A teacher came into the room with a child who had fallen and scraped her knee, and Kate snapped to attention.
Galvanized into action, she picked up his lunch pail and hung it on a free finger and said briskly, “I have to go out in the yard now.”
Then she fled.
The message in the Communications journal caught Kate’s eye right away, her heart doing a nervous flip flop as she read it for the second time.
“Kate, call Mrs. Jensen as soon as possible.”
“Now what am I in for?” she wondered pulling her cell phone out of her pocket, a number of crazy possibilities rushing through her head. Harold hadn’t got in touch with her since that fateful Wednesday night and Kate was grateful for that. She had enough on her hands with Brady and her runaway emotions as it was.
“Kathryn, I was wondering if we could have lunch together,” cooed Mrs. J. after they’d exchanged greetings.
“When?” asked Kate knowing the abruptness of her response would rankle.
“Are you free tomorrow? Shall I pick you up at one?” There was no change in the tone so apparently she was to be forgiven this once.
Kate agreed to one o’clock and hung up.
Mrs. Harold showed up at the restaurant wearing a navy polka dot dress with a white jacket and matching pumps. Her lips, carefully outlined, pulled back at the corners when Kate rushed in two minutes late very conscious that her ‘bought on sale’ jeans had a smear of paint and the shirt on top had seen better days. It was preschool clothing not a lunching with the hoi polloi outfit she would normally have worn. Kate wondered if her subconscious had urged her to deliberately pick these clothes.
“How are you my dear?” Kate blanched at the tone of excessive geniality and wondered what had brought it on. How long before
the pill popped through the sugar coating?
Ten minutes later they were tucking into salads and talking about the weather. Deciding to spend all her lunch calories on a piece of the heavenly pie the place was famous for and coffee, Kate ignored the pursing of Mrs. J’s lips as she gave the waitress her order.
`A little care will help you get rid of that puppy fat dear.’ Kate could hear the words as clearly as the day Mrs. J. had said them, wondering now if the memory had subconsciously spurred her order.
“How’s Harold?” Kate forced herself to ask, conscious suddenly how easy it had been to put Harold completely out of her mind.
“A bit upset my dear but that’s only to be expected in the circumstances.” Her eyes flashed a genteel reproach at Kate. “At least he was till I had a talk with him and told him girls need a little time to make the final commitment.”
Kate’s mouth dropped open and she quickly stuffed pie into it.
Did Mrs. Jensen see herself steering her son through the rocks of pre-wedding jitters? What about post?
“I’m sorry.” Kate said, the next instant hating herself for taking responsibility for Harold’s feelings.
“There’s no need to apologize my dear,” Mrs J., reached out and patted Kate’s hand where it rested on the table. “I know exactly how you feel.”
“You do?” Kate was astounded. Had she misjudged Harold’s mother after all?
“Yes, dear. It’s not too easy to marry into all this money, not to mention Harold’s position. I know exactly how afraid you are of failing him.”
‘Failing who? What position?’ Kate picked up the iced water and sipped slowly hoping it would melt the block of rage in her throat
A small squeeze of her hand and then Mrs. Jensen sat back.
“But you’re forgetting one thing, in all this.”
“Oh?” said Kate wondering if the whole thing was only a nightmare.
“Yes,” the rinsed head nodded complacently. "You’re forgetting that I’ll be behind you every inch of the way.”
Kate felt her eyeballs were going to pop out of her head so she closed them for a second. The woman surely didn’t believe what she was saying. Kate opened her eyes. Yes, she did.