I wanted to stop hurting.
I’d never forget Alyssa. I still loved her, but I needed to stop waking with sweat dripping over my body—my heart can’t take it anymore.
Finally getting out of bed, I tugged on a pair of sweats and made my way to the kitchen for coffee. The closer I got, the more I could smell breakfast.
“P.J., if you cook for me every morning, I may just have to marry you.”
He turned. “Who said I’m cooking for you too?”
“Well, if you’re not, then you should. I know you secretly want to marry me.” I grinned.
“You’re outta your mind, Cap. I’m into pussy.”
“I know,” I smirked. “But seriously, you’re making some for me right?”
He paused for a beat. “Of course.”
I grinned. “That’s why you’re my best friend. Tell me about your date.” I poured a cup of coffee while he spoke.
“Cap, man … this chick was into some freaky shit.”
“Do tell.” I sat at our kitchen table, the smile never leaving my face as I sipped my coffee and listened.
“Whips, chains, floggers, butt plugs … You name it.”
I laughed. “How is that freaky?”
“That part isn’t. It was that she wanted her husband to watch me use them on her.”
I choked a little on my coffee. “No shit?”
“You have no idea how scared I was. I almost didn’t get it up to fuck her properly. I thought her husband was going to want my asshole, dude!”
“Oh my God.” I laughed hard, so hard I was doubled over with tears.
“It’s not funny. I made sure my ass was clenched so tight that he couldn’t stick anything in there while I made his wife come.”
“Seriously, I thought my date was weird, but it doesn’t compare to this at all.”
He gestured for me to grab a plate to put food on. “What happened on yours?”
“The chick was cool. She wasn’t the problem. The problem was that when I was fucking her, I thought of Autumn.”
“I think that’s good. It’s about time—”
“Nah, dude. Autumn turned me down. She’s married.”
“I take it that she doesn’t have a husband who wants to watch his wife get spanked by another dude?”
I shook my head. “Not getting that vibe.” My smiled faded quickly. “Actually, I think her husband’s the one who hurts her.”
We were both silent eating the sausage and eggs that Jackson made. Finally, he spoke. “All right, here’s the deal. We don’t know Autumn from a glory hole.” I glared at him for using that reference to compare our relationship with her. “But if you want, I’ll help you stalk her to see if this fucker keeps hurting her—”
“Stalking?”
“Let me finish.” He took a bite of eggs. “We’ll hang out at Club 24 for an entire day … hell, for a week. That place has everything and it won’t be suspicious. We’ll learn what days she comes and what hours. We’ll chat her up, get to know her and if we see more bruises, maybe she’ll tell us about them.”
“I don’t need you to do that.”
“You were a creepy motherfucker yesterday. No wonder she brushed you off.”
“Fuck you!”
“I get it.” He held his hands up in front of him. “I know you don’t want to replace Alyssa. But, Cap—”
“I know,” I hissed. “Maybe Vegas will be good for me.”
“That makes me happy.” He smiled.
“Whatever,” I mumbled. “Let’s finish eating and go to Club 24.”
We split up when we arrived at the gym, trying to cover the mass space to search for Autumn. We both came up short.
“Maybe she’s already left,” I groaned.
“Then we’ll come earlier tomorrow. Let’s go shoot some hoops or something.”
We started to walk toward the basketball court. “You know what? Your plan is stupid. Why don’t we just ask Cassie at the desk?”
“Ask her what?”
“What time Autumn comes in.”
“You think she’ll tell us?”
“She knows Autumn referred us. It’s worth a try.” I shrugged.
“Let me talk to her. I’m not sure how you’re even an escort,” he teased.
Cassie gave us the information we were seeking. Autumn comes in around nine, Monday through Saturday. Looking at the time on my phone, we’d just missed her by an hour.
“Let’s go check Starbucks,” I suggested.
“We just got here and haven’t worked out,” he whined. “I need to keep my stamina up for work.”
“Fine, I’ll go. Uber a ride home.”
“You’re just going to leave me here?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I’ll call you when I’m done and come get you if you’re still here. If she isn’t at Starbucks, I’ll come right back.”
“Don’t be creepy.”
“I won’t,” I groaned.
I couldn’t believe that I was trying to stalk a stranger. I was creepy—definitely creepy. But I needed to see Autumn again. From the moment I ran into her, I couldn’t get her out of my head and I had to figure out why. It wasn’t like me. I hadn’t thought of any women other than Alyssa since she died. I’d been on dates for work with plenty of hot women, but I’d never thought of them outside of work before, so there was definitely a reason I thought of Autumn. I was attracted to her for sure. Maybe it was because I was sent to protect her somehow. I was certain I hadn’t bumped into her by accident, especially since I saw her the next day and at Club 24. Vegas wasn’t a small town by any means.
Walking into Starbucks, my gaze fell on the chair she was sitting in the day before, and my heart skipped a beat. She was sitting there, staring out the window. She looked beautiful even in her oversized grey sweatshirt; it was seventy-five degrees out and I was certain she was hiding her bruises. Only women who are abused hide them like that, especially drop dead gorgeous women like Autumn.
After ordering my coffee, I walked to the table where Jackson and I sat the day before. “Hey,” I greeted her.
“Oh… Hey.” She smiled a tight smile, her face blushing.
“I thought you didn’t want to have coffee with me?” I joked, trying to keep her smiling.
Her smile didn’t falter as she looked down at her paper cup, twirling it between her palms. “I never said I didn’t—”
“But you want to?”
“Gabe—” Her gaze met mine as she tilted her head slightly.
“Having a good day?” I asked, cutting her off. I didn’t want to hear her excuse that she was married. If she were happy in her marriage, I’d let it go. But she didn’t look happy.
“Pretty good. I was just leaving.” She stood to leave.
“Wait!” I reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Don’t go.”
“I have to.” She kept her stare focused on the door, not looking at me or my hand on her.
“Just five minutes,” I pleaded.
She took a deep breath. “We can’t keep meeting like this.”
“Why? Because you’re married?” I let go of her wrist, hoping she wouldn’t leave.
“Exactly.”
“I understand. I’m new in town and just trying to make friends,” I explained.
She turned her head finally and looked at me. “I bet you’re a really nice guy, but I just … can’t.”
“Because he’ll get mad and hit you again?”
“Please,” she begged, still not making a move to leave.
I stood, my chest rubbing on her arm as I stepped closer to her. I could smell the slight scent of warm vanilla sugar and I swallowed before speaking. “I can’t get you out of my head, Autumn. You have no idea what that means to me. And the fact that your husband hits you … I want to save you,” I whispered in her ear.
I meant to say help instead of save, but my tongue slipped. I wasn’t sure why I said save. Maybe because of my background … or maybe because I saw Autumn like an angel just
like Alyssa was to me.
“I have to go. He’ll know I talked to you.” She took a step forward, but I grabbed her wrist again.
“He has people watching you?” I whispered as I looked around the room.
She nodded.
“Paul and I can help protect you.” I dropped her wrist, not wanting to scare her more.
“My husband’s a powerful man in this city.”
“I don’t give a shit,” I huffed.
“I have to go.”
Before I could grab her wrist again, she walked quickly out the door.
Chapter Nine
Autumn
I walked on shaky legs to my car and pulled out of the parking lot toward my house.
“I can’t get you out of my head, Autumn. You have no idea what that means to me. And the fact that your husband hits you … I want to save you.”
I couldn’t believe he’d been thinking about me. If he only knew that I couldn’t get him out of my head either. I didn’t know anything about Gabe but given he wanted to “save” me … He made my heart stop. I never thought I’d need saving, especially from a man who I loved. But the more Rich hurt me, the more I felt myself falling out of love with him. Part of me questioned if he ever really loved me. Either way, I’d had enough.
As I sat at a red light, waiting for it to change, I kept replaying what had just happened. I closed my eyes briefly, remembering what he’d looked like in his black basketball shorts and green tank top that matched his eyes. I wanted to find out what his lips tasted like. How his body felt pressed against mine, his huge arms wrapped around me, and dammit if he didn’t smell good too—like the warm sun on a summer day. He was all man.
As I drove, my mind switched to Rich. I still didn’t have a plan on how I was going to leave him. I needed to get out of Vegas, not stay in it and look over my shoulder every day and fear for my life anymore. Given that Rich explained to me the night before he never “wanted” to hurt me, I decided to push the limits. Maybe it was stupid of me, but if he were really going to be the mayor of Las Vegas, then we couldn’t hide the bruises forever.
I sent a text to him:
Me: I’m going to stop by my parents’ studio. Call my cell on your lunch. Love you!
It was crazy to think that “pushing it” meant seeing my parents. I was to go to the gym, coffee and home every day. I was done having that leash. I was done being weak. It was only my parents, not someone who Rich didn’t know.
As I pulled onto the street where my parents’ studio was, a text from Rich buzzed my cell:
Rich: Tell them hello for me. Love you too.
I stared at the text as I sat in front of the studio. I expected him to call and yell at me, so I was stunned, shocked, baffled. Maybe Rich was really trying to change his ways. It was as if he knew I wanted to finally leave him and he was acting like the man I fell in love with.
I didn’t reply. Instead, I threw my phone in my purse and went inside. The door dinged as I walked into the studio. Mom was behind the desk and she looked up.
She instantly smiled when she saw it was me. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Just came to say hi.” I shrugged.
“Well, it’s a nice surprise.”
I leaned against the counter. “Where’s Dad?”
“In the office—Dan!” she yelled. “Autumn’s here.”
Dad walked out, taking his glasses off and rubbed his face. “Hey, sunshine. I needed a break anyway. Editing makes my back hurt.”
“I was in the neighborhood,” I lied. “Just stopping by to say hi and also tell you that I’m throwing a surprise party for Rich.”
“Oh?” Mom perked up. “What for?”
I debated telling my parents the truth, but if Rich found out that I’d told them, he’d be pissed. Call me rebellious …
“Actually, it’s a surprise party for the guests.”
“I don’t understand.” Dad scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.
“You can’t say anything—”
“Oh, it’s a secret,” Mom said, clapping with excitement.
“Rich is going to run for mayor and he wants to throw an announcement party.”
“Really?” they asked in unison.
“Yep,” I said with a fake smile.
“My son-in-law is going to be the mayor?” Dad asked.
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“When’s the party?” Mom asked.
“In a month. You’ll get the invitation this coming week. It’s black-tie.”
“This is exciting news.” Mom beamed.
“I have no idea what it entails, but yeah … it should be exciting.” I gave a weak smile. “Anyway, Dad, I was thinking—want to go to the range this afternoon?”
“You want to go shooting?” he asked, taken aback. “You’ve never wanted to go with me before…”
That was true. Guns had never been my thing. But given the circumstances, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to learn how to shoot. I didn’t intend to shoot Rich; I just wanted to learn to protect myself for when I did leave him.
“I know, but I’m bored and want to hang out with my dad if you can spare a few hours,” I pleaded. “It will give you a break from editing.”
“You’re sure that you want to go shooting?”
“Yep, let’s go.” I smiled and waved my hand, motioning for him to follow me.
“All right.” He smiled back. “Let’s go to the range. Sarah, hold down the fort.”
I’d never shot a gun before.
I didn’t know what to expect. I’d watched people on television get bit by the gun when they fired it and that made me nervous, but I needed to do it. I needed to learn how to shoot.
“What do you want to shoot?” Dad asked as we looked into the gun case.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Should I buy my own?”
“You want to buy a gun?” Dad’s eyes widened.
“Maybe…”
“All right, what’s gotten into you?” He turned, facing me as his hip rested on the glass case.
“Nothing.” I smiled.
“Sunshine…”
A lie quickly entered my head. “All right. I want to learn to shoot so I can go with Rich sometime and impress him.”
Dad’s head tilted a little to the side as he thought about my answer. “You want to impress your husband?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged again. I noticed I did that with all the lies I told. “Doesn’t Mom do stuff to impress you?”
“When she cooks a new meal and it’s delicious, yes. Not learning to shoot so she can come with me when I want to be alone and do something manly.”
Telling Dad the truth was right on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell him. I envisioned him wrapping me in his arms and telling me everything was going to be okay and he’d help me—that he’d protect his little girl.
“It’s not just for men, Daddy—”
Before I could lie some more, a clerk stepped over. “See anything you like?”
I had no idea what I was looking at. I didn’t know what calibers meant, what size I needed, what type—I just knew what looked the most badass.
“I’m not sure I know what I’m looking at.” I chuckled.
“What do you want the gun for?”
I looked out of the corner of my eye toward Dad then did my signature shrug. “Just to use here at the range.”
“Well, women tend to start off with a revolver then grow into a semi-automatic pistol.”
“If you’re serious about learning, start with the semi-automatic. It holds more rounds,” Dad interjected. My gaze drifted to his and his eyes narrowed at me. Dad was a smart man; he knew something was up.
“Okay, let’s do the semi-automatic.” I had no idea the difference except the look. The revolver looked like something from the twenties, but the semi-automatic looked more like something I could use.
“All right,” the guy said. “I’d recommend the one with a longer trigger pull, so when you
fire it, you know for sure you want it to go off. Fewer misfires.”
I chose a silver and black 9mm, semi-automatic pistol that was compact enough to fit into my medium sized Coach purse. We went over the safety procedures, loading the gun, cocking it before it would shoot, how to clean it and how to go about getting a permit for it.
After I watched a short video, Dad and I shot a few rounds. Once I’d finally got a feel for the gun, I started to concentrate on the targets. Dad didn’t say a word as I took in all the information and I was relieved. I didn’t know how much longer I could lie to him.
“Remember when you’d take me to the arcade and we’d play Area 51?” I asked, trying to act as if this was just for fun and games.
He smiled. “Yeah, sunshine. I do.”
“Remember how I would take both guns and try to kill more aliens?” He laughed and nodded. “I wonder if I can get that good and be badass like that in real life.”
He laughed again. “Are you trying to train for an alien invasion?”
I giggled. “No, but tell me that wouldn’t be badass? I’d feel like Lara Croft or something.”
“Rich would definitely be impressed.”
“Hell yeah, he would.” Just the thought of having two guns pointed at Rich as he tried to hurt me again sent a pulse of excitement through my veins—or maybe it was the fact that I was holding a gun and already felt safer. Whatever the case was, I was determined to hit the targets in the chest or head before we left.
After a few more rounds each, I finally reached my goal. It made me feel good—powerful—badass—stronger.
“Do you want to come back with me this weekend?” Dad asked as we drove back to the studio.
“I’m not sure if I can.”
He nodded. “Just let me know. You’ll be a pro before you know it if you keep practicing.”
“I will.”
“I’ll file the paperwork for you to get the gun registered.”
“Thanks, Daddy.” I smiled. As we pulled up to the studio, my cell rang with Rich’s daily call.
“I’ll meet you inside,” Dad whispered.
I nodded then quickly answered the phone before the third ring. “Hey, honey.”
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