by Mia Archer
I went over to the “A-G” line and Ashley wound up in the “R-Z” line. It moved pretty fast and soon enough I was facing a bored looking teacher.
“Name?”
“Anderson. Chloe,” I said.
The teacher dug through the pile and handed me a sheet of paper that had all my classes for the semester. These seven classes were going to be my life for the next few months and I couldn’t wait!
I stepped out of line without checking what classes I had. I wanted to wait until Ashley was over here with her own schedule.
Only she was already standing there waiting for me. Right. Not as many people on her end of the alphabet I guess.
“So what did you get?” she asked.
I finally looked down at the paper, my breathing picking up in anticipation as I looked at my classes.
“Algebra, Honors English,” I read off.
“Which period?” she asked.
I figured it would be easier to hold up our schedules next to each other to see if anything matched up. Turns out we had Honors English together but that was hardly a surprise.
That was the only class we had together though. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at that. We’d been in the same class pretty much our entire lives, but since seventh grade our days had been split up with different people in different classes all day long.
My eyes moved down to the bottom. Fixed on the last class of the day.
“Huh. Drama,” I said.
I remembered marking it down last year. It was either take Drama or Speech and Debate, and I figured getting up on stage and playing around sounded like a heck of a lot more fun than getting up in front of a class and making a speech.
I hadn’t told my mom about that choice. I’d actually added it to my choices the next day after I went over those choices with my mom. I figured what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.
“You signed up for Drama?” Ashley asked.
“Well yeah. Better than giving a speech,” I said.
I started for the door. The schedule said we had more time this morning before our first class so people could get their schedules, but I still needed to figure out where all my classes were. Ashley fell in beside me.
“Wait, you get the same credit for Drama that you do for Speech?” she said, annoyance dripping from her voice.
“It’s public speaking either way. The fine print said they went for the same public speaking credit to graduate,” I replied.
“Damn it,” she said. “I have to take speech while you get to have fun prancing around on stage. It’s not fair.”
“I mean are you taking speech this semester?”
That brought her up short. “Well… No?”
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Ashley not to think things through. She could be such a ditz sometimes. I’d make a joke about the blonde hair or the cheerleader thing but I figured that would all be too easy.
“So that’s easy,” I said. “You just take drama some other semester instead of taking a speech class. What’s the big deal?”
Ashley had a look on her face. The sort of look I’d come to recognize as her wanting to say something but stopping herself just short of saying it.
It’d been a long time since I’d seen her making one of those faces at me though. It was a little weird seeing it after all this time.
“What?” I asked.
“Well it’s just that…”
She stopped again. Her face screwed up in a weird look. The only way I could think to describe it was she suddenly had the urge to go to the bathroom only she was down on the basketball floor cheering and knew she wasn’t going to get there in time.
I giggled at the thought. That earned me a glare, but whatever. If she was keeping secrets then I could keep secrets.
“Out with it,” I said.
“It’s just that it’s y’know… drama,” she said.
“Um, I don’t think I… y’know… know,” I said.
“Well y’know. The kind of people who are in drama. It’s just…”
Now it was my turn to look confused. What the heck was she talking about? I’d been in a school play back in elementary school and I’d been in a couple of plays they put on at the church. Pastor Dave always said I was one of the best actors they had so I always got to do cool stuff like the live nativity the youth group put on.
I’d never heard anything bad about drama class or the drama club. It just seemed like a bunch of people who were having a good time. What could possibly be wrong with putting on a bunch of goofy costumes and having a good time?
I still remembered the first play I ever saw. An old family friend took me to see a production of The Wizard of Oz and I’d been in love. Sure it was probably a little hokey compared to the movie which had always been one of my favorites, but I’d been a little kid and in my mind that cheesy high school production had been just as cool as seeing the real thing on a Broadway stage.
So I crossed my arms and hit Ashley with a look.
“What are you going on about?” I asked. “There’s nothing wrong with being in the drama club.”
“But they’re all kinda dorky,” she said. “I have an image to maintain y’know. What would people say if I took a drama class?”
Now I was really giving her a look. An image to maintain? Was she serious?
“You’d seriously make yourself suffer through an entire semester of speech because you were worried about what people thought of you taking a drama class?”
“Maybe?” she asked.
She at least finally had the good grace to look a little embarrassed. Sort of. Not so embarrassed that she was going to back down, but at least she could recognize that what she was saying was a little stupid.
“You’re being ridiculous Ashley,” I said. “No one would care if you took drama. Do you think I’m weird because I’m taking drama?”
“Well no, but you’re not…”
She stopped herself again. Not that she needed to stop herself. I could see where she was going with this.
“I’m not a cheerleader?” I asked, a smile on my face as I continued. “I’m not high school royalty? I’m not a big deal like the high and mighty Ashley Sinclair, freshman cheerleader?”
She stuck her tongue out. At least she could still tell when I was making fun of her. She hadn’t lost it completely.
“Shut up,” she said.
I shrugged. “Hey. If you’re going to be ridiculous then I’m going to be ridiculous.”
“But what about the other things you hear about the drama club?” she asked, her voice going low.
“What other things?” I asked.
“You know…” she said. “I mean I know we’re supposed to be cool with that sort of thing, but you don’t want to become one of them do you?”
I stopped. I also realized I had no idea where I was. This was a hall of the high school I didn’t recognize, and it seemed like there were a lot of kids with band instruments walking around. I could hear the sound of instruments being tuned coming from a door at the end of the hall.
Yeah, definitely the wrong place. I wondered what high school freshman cheerleader princess Ashley would think when she realized she was surrounded by a bunch of band dorks.
Only she didn’t seem to realize she was surrounded by a bunch of band dorks. Instead she leaned in close so no one could hear what she was saying.
“You know what they say about the drama club,” she said.
“No,” I said in my regular voice. “I don’t know what they say about the drama club.”
She looked around as though she wanted to make sure there was no one close enough to hear us. Leaned in even closer. Close enough that her lips were almost brushing my ears which sent a little shiver running through me for some reason.
“That joining the drama club will make you gay!”
Another shiver. Now where did that come from?
Then the laughter started. First a little giggle, but then I was laughing i
n Ashley’s face. From the way she glared at me it was obvious she didn’t appreciate me laughing at her, but could you really blame me?
“Are you serious?” I asked. “Being in drama doesn’t make you gay!”
Heck, I was pretty sure there probably wasn’t a single gay person at our high school. Sure we were supposed to love the sinner even if we didn’t love the sin, but this was Morton High. Our town was too small to have gay people in it.
Even if the thought did send another shiver running through me like it always did whenever Pastor Dave talked about it. It was one of his favorite things to harp on right along with all the other temptations of the flesh we were going to run into when we went out into the world.
I pushed down on that little thrill. It felt nice, but I didn’t know where it came from or why it always came up whenever this particular temptation of the flesh was mentioned.
“You don’t have to be mean,” Ashley said.
“I do if you’re being ridiculous,” I said. “There aren’t people like that around here, and they aren’t in the drama club.”
“Who said something about the drama club?” a voice said from behind us, loud enough to be picked out over the crowd.
Ashley’s eyes went wide. I turned around and I could see why she looked surprised. The girl talking to us had dark hair with purple streaks running through it, a nose piercing, and a wardrobe that could be charitably described as “dark.”
That wasn’t why my mouth hung open though. No, the girl was a bit of a surprise, she reminded me of everything Pastor Dave had warned us about, but I only had eyes for the girl behind her.
I couldn’t stop staring. My mouth hung open. That thrill that hit me when Ashley mentioned drama turning people gay, what a ridiculous thought, was back with a vengeance.
Because I was looking at this girl and feeling everything I was supposed to feel when I was with Craig but didn’t.
Oh crap.
4
Sarah
I stared at this new girl and I couldn’t pull my eyes away. Meanwhile she was giving me the old deer in headlights look I was used to seeing from freshman seeing Courtney for the first time.
The other girl, a preppy cute little thing with blonde highlights and the sort of outfit that screamed she would be one of the mean girls running this school someday, only had eyes for Courtney.
I knew the reaction. It’s not like a nose ring or dark hair with purple streaks should have been a big deal, but it was a big deal in this small town. It was downright scandalous, especially to some proto-prep who was discovering the wider world for the first time.
It would’ve been funny if it weren’t for that other girl. The girl who only had eyes for me. The girl who looked more than a little worried that she only had eyes for me.
I’d seen that look before. I just never expected to see that look coming from a good girl with a cross necklace hanging between her breasts in an outfit that was the modest sort of thing you expected from the good church girls in this town.
Interesting. Very interesting. Why was a good little church girl looking at me like that?
It had to be my imagination. Yeah, that was it.
“So what were you saying about the drama club?” Courtney asked, her voice cheerful.
I knew she was putting on an act. We’d been standing close enough that we’d heard most of the conversation.
I didn’t know which was more amusing. That the preppy girl thought everyone who joined the drama club was gay or that the church girl giving me the eyes insisted there weren’t people like that in our town.
It was especially interesting that she was saying that considering the way she was looking at me. Methinks the lady doth protest too much, or whatever it was Shakespeare said.
We never got to do the cool stuff with all the blood and guts. It was always either Romeo & Juliet or A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Boring.
“It was nothing,” the proto-prep said. “We were just leaving. Weren’t we Chloe?”
“No seriously,” Courtney said. “I’m big into the drama club. So’s Sarah here behind me. It’s always nice to hear what other people are saying about us!”
It was hard not to laugh. She was being so sweet and so over the top about being so sweet. These girls had no idea we were making fun of them.
Then again they were just freshmen. Fresh meat, as the asshole guys in the club called them when they arrived. As though any of those assholes had any idea what to do with a girl.
Some of them were fooling themselves that they were interested in girls in the first place. Colin came to mind.
“I was just telling my friend here that not everyone in the drama club is a…”
Church girl stopped. I grinned. Yeah, she was about to say something that might be taken the wrong way about drama kids in front of a couple of obviously upperclassmen drama kids.
Not a good place to be on your first day at school. Not a good place to be at all.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “We were talking about a drama class I’m taking this semester and whether or not it was better than speech.”
“Oh really?” Courtney said, her voice taking on a singsong quality. “That’s very interesting! Sarah here is taking drama this year too! Maybe you’ll be in class together!”
A strange feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. She was right. I was in drama this year. Figured it would be an easy A since Mr. Thompson loved me.
I never thought it would be complicated, but having this girl in that class might make things really complicated. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Let me see your schedule,” Courtney said.
She snatched it away before poor church girl could say anything. Not that she looked like the kind of girl who would say much of anything if anyone pushed her around.
No. I knew the type. The mousy little church girl who did everything everyone told her because that’s what they taught you in those places. Do what the pastor tells you or else. Do what your imaginary friend tells you or else.
Not a lot of critical thinking there. I knew because I’d been one of them once upon a time, but never again. Not after what I had to deal with.
“Let me see your schedule too,” Courtney said.
I handed it over because I knew if I didn’t she’d grab it out of my hands like she grabbed Chloe’s. She inspected both of them and her mouth split in a huge grin.
“You do have the same class together!” she said. “Isn’t that amazing Sarah?”
“Yeah, it’s amazing,” I said, not really feeling it.
This had been fun at the beginning, but it was getting less and less fun. I couldn’t shake the feeling that Courtney was taking the whole jerky senior thing a little too far.
I guess that was only natural since this was the first chance she’d had to flex those muscles, but there was no need for her to be a complete jerk about it.
Courtney turned back to Chloe. Handed her schedule back and regarded the two freshmen girls like a shark might eye a particularly delicious fish that made the mistake of swimming in its line of sight.
“Y’know it’s probably a good thing Sarah here is going to be in your class,” she said, lowering her voice to the point the two girls had to lean in if they were going to have any chance of hearing her.
I felt a prickling between my shoulder blades. Courtney was getting that conspiratorial tone that only came along when she was about to do something stupid.
I didn’t want that something stupid to have anything to do with me, damn it.
“Why is it a good thing she’s in that class?” Chloe asked, her eyes darting to me again.
They darted to me and then they darted up and down. I blinked. Did that really just happen? Did the good little church girl really just check me out?
It didn’t seem possible, but I wasn’t imagining things that time. That wasn’t just so much wishful thinking.
Maybe.
“Oh
yeah,” Courtney said.
That danger sense was growing and growing. She was about to say something stupid. Something that was going to get both of us in trouble.
“I know you were saying there are no gay people in this town, but you’re looking at one right now church girl, and you’re going to have to spend an entire semester in a class with her,” Courtney said, her grin turning downright nasty.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. It’s not like I made a big secret of who I was, but it was one thing to be out and okay with who I was and another thing entirely to go advertising it to the freshmen to try and freak them out.
Even if there was something very interesting about the way Chloe turned to me and her mouth fell open. Her eyes ran up and down again and I was sure she was doing it this time.
She might not realize what she was doing, but this girl was looking at me like she was interested. She might not even know what she was doing.
I could remember a time when I was oblivious. A time when I thought I was broken because I wasn’t interested in guys like all my other friends.
That had been a long time ago, but seeing that same conflicted mix of emotions in Chloe was a blast from the past.
I suddenly felt a little self-conscious watching her watching me. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Not since middle school when I first realized who I really was.
And desperately tried to hide it from the world for a couple of years. If this girl was in the same place right now she wouldn’t like anyone getting in the way of her and the comfy door to her closet.
“Ew, gross,” proto-preppy said.
I blinked. It had been a long fucking time since I’d had someone react to me that way. I mean I guess I shouldn’t have expected much from a girl who looked like she was going to grow into one hell of a mean girl as soon as she found the rest of her tribe, but still.
I knew what she was saying had to be hurting her friend even if she didn’t realize she was hurting her friend.
Yeah, it was going to be one hell of a surprise for that girl when it turned out her BFF was as much of a big lesbian as I was. Assuming her BFF ever came out and told her.