by Mia Archer
She’d shown me pictures of the thing in math class. Apparently taking selfies of trying on prom dresses was a thing with her crowd, but I was more than happy to have a look if she was willing to show off. The pictures didn’t do justice to the reality, though.
Yeah, and there we came to the big problem of the evening. Colin might be going on about how this was a magical moment and everything, and I suppose in a way it was. For him.
The issue? Well, you’re a smart person. I was just checking out the head cheerleader. You figure it out.
“The drum majorette and the leader of the drum line. You keep the tempo up front and I keep the beat in the back. We were meant to be.”
I muttered something that he seemed to take for an affirmative. I figured it was better than telling him the band would be a hell of a lot better off if we put a metronome on a loudspeaker and had someone cart it around in the middle of the band. I was already dumping him tonight. Why add insult to injury?
Hey, I realized I was into girls. I wasn’t completely heartless or anything.
Blessedly the song came to an end before I had to give any sort of opinion on my soon—to-be-ex-boyfriend’s drum abilities. Colin removed his hands from my midsection. Which also meant I wouldn’t have to keep reaching down to try and keep his hands from moving forward for him, backwards for me, so they were touching a piece of anatomy that was slightly posterior to my midsection. He looked like he wanted to stay on the dance floor as a fast song started up, no doubt hoping for a bit of the old bump and grind, but I took his hand and pulled him back to our table.
Thankfully Sarah was waiting there.
“Having fun out there Dani?” she asked.
I fixed her with my best glare. She knew full well what was going down tonight, and she apparently couldn’t resist giving me a hard time about it. I would’ve stuck my tongue out, but that would’ve been a little too obvious.
“So I was wondering what the plans were for when this thing is over?” Devon asked. “We’ve got the lame after prom we can go to at the bowling alley, or…”
“I heard there’s a party out at Kara’s house tonight,” I said.
Three confused faces turned to look at me.
“Kara?” Colin asked.
“Thompson?” I said.
All three of them burst into laughter. Okay then. I guess I just told a great joke. Maybe I needed to put on a tie and grab a microphone from the DJ if I was doing so well. I could tell a couple of other zingers that would have everyone rolling around on the gym floor. “Hey everyone! I’m actually a lesbian and I’m dumping my boyfriend tonight because I couldn’t think of a good way to break his heart before prom and by the time I realized doing it on prom night was even bitchier it was too late!”
Yeah, that would have them rolling.
“Since when do any of us ever roll in the same social circle as Kara Thompson?” Colin asked.
“Well I talk to her in math class, and we did go shopping together one time a few months back,” I said.
Now all three of them were looking at me like I’d suddenly transformed into some strange creature. I mean I felt a little different with my hair done up in some ridiculous prom weave, but they were looking at me more like I’d sprouted hair and fangs or something like that.
“Funny joke,” Sarah said. “But don’t you think it might be a better idea to go to the party out at Joe’s place?”
I sighed. Joe’s place. That meant a party with our fellow band geeks. I probably should’ve expected that. Sarah and I were the drum majors, after all. Or majorettes. Whatever. Not going to the band party would be sacrilege, even if there were times I wished I could break free of that whole scene. Not that I didn’t like those parties. They were fun. There were just times I thought it might be interesting to break free and try something different.
I looked over to Colin who was laughing right along with them. I was going to make one major break tonight, that was for sure. I looked down at my watch. There was still technically a half hour to go, but I figured it was time to get out of here. I could only deal with so many group dances before I went insane, and I really wanted to be out of here before one of the drama kids requested the Time Warp and they all got up and started doing the dance while everyone else stared like it was the gorilla exhibit at the zoo and someone just started flinging poo.
“What would you say to heading out a little early?” I asked.
Colin grinned and looked at his own watch. “Sounds great! It’ll be nice to have a little time alone before we head out to Joe’s house.”
“Yeah. Alone time,” I muttered, again sinking into a funk. This wasn’t going to be fun, but I knew what I had to do.
I felt a hand on my own. Feminine. That felt nice. Of course it was Sarah’s hand, so it’s not like there was a chance in hell anything was ever going to happen there. She gave my hand a squeeze and locked eyes with me for a moment. Nodded. I smiled.
It was nice of her to try and lend me some strength. Not that it was going to help me all that much. Stuck in a car alone with a boyfriend who probably thought we were going to have some “private time” together before we hit the party.
Ugh.
Still, nothing for it but to go through with it. It was time to rip off the bandage. Colin offered me his hand but I didn’t take it. Doing something that familiar seemed just wrong considering what I was about to do. I stopped to give Sarah one last look, but she was already making goo-goo eyes at Devon.
No doubt what they were going to do between here and the party.
The feeling of impending doom that had been hanging over me all evening got even worse once we were in the car. I couldn’t believe I was going to do this. I couldn’t believe I was breaking up with Colin. He was the perfect guy. We were the perfect couple. I was living the high school sweetheart dream.
Only it was the wrong dream.
“Something wrong Dani?” he asked.
I jumped. I’d been hypnotized by rows of corn going past the car in the darkness. I could die happy if I managed to find a place where I didn’t ever have to see corn outside of a supermarket for the rest of my life.
“Sorry, just thinking,” I said.
“What about?”
“The future.”
Colin reached out and tried to take my hand, but I quickly clasped my hands together between my legs and squeezed them shut. That seemed like an appropriate metaphor considering he wasn’t going to hold my hand or get between my legs tonight. Or ever, for that matter.
“I’ve been thinking about that a lot too,” Colin said. “I know it’s going to be tough that we’re going to different schools, but I figure we still have the trip out to Royal Realms over the summer and after that I figure we can go back and forth on the weekend.”
“I want to break up,” I said.
I couldn’t take it anymore. He was talking about being together on the band’s trip to Royal Realms, the biggest amusement park in the country, and I couldn’t stand the idea of still being together in a couple of months and having to feel the same over a week-long vacation as I did right now. It was already torture pretending to be something I wasn’t for one night.
An entire week of that? No thank you.
“I’m sorry. What was that?” he asked. “Is this another joke?”
I took in a deep breath and forced myself to look at him. This was one moment when the corn would’ve been preferable, but I needed to face this head on. I’d already said the words. There was nothing for it but to forge ahead.
“I want to break up,” I said. “I’ve felt this way for awhile now. I’m sorry.”
Colin blinked and his grip tightened on the steering wheel. For a terrified moment I had visions of him running the car off the road and into a telephone pole or something, though he didn’t do anything of the sort. He did seem to be grinding his teeth, though. I could hear it even over the sound of his car’s ancient engine.
“Why?” he asked.
I wa
s afraid he’d ask why, and I didn’t have any good answers. How to explain that I’d been lying to myself about who I was for years? That I’d been terrified of telling people the truth? That I still had no plans on letting the truth out until I was at college next year?
“I’m a lesbian.”
Okay. So much for the plans to keep the truth on the down low until I was off at college. Damn it. Why did I suddenly have diarrhea of the mouth? Why couldn’t my brain just shut the fuck up already?
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Colin. You’re a great guy. Just not for me, for obvious reasons.”
I trailed off into muttering by the time I was finished. It sounded stupid even though it was the truth. I felt stupid for doing this. Why couldn’t I just dump him and be done with it?
“And you felt like waiting until prom night to break my heart would be a good idea? Is this some sick game to you or something?”
“Listen, Colin, I only wanted what’s best for you.”
“Dumping me on prom night is what’s best for me? Telling me that our whole relationship meant nothing to you is what’s best for me?” He barked out a short laugh. “Yeah, that’s really rich, Danielle. So glad you’re looking out for me.”
I fell back into my seat. What else was there to say? He was being a first rate asshole, to be sure, but at the same time there was some truth to what he said. If he wanted to get angry then he could get angry.
He turned onto a side road and we moved out into the country.
“Where are we going?”
“To Joe’s house,” he said.
“You still want to go to the party?”
“Doesn’t seem like we’re doing anything else tonight,” he said.
Well that was sure as hell true. It was a relief to realize that we both agreed on that point, at least. That relief lasted until we got out to Joe’s house and Colin got out of the car without a single word to me, marched over to a crowd, and started gesturing wildly back to the car. Everyone turned and stared. Some laughed. Some looked pissed, though whether that was because they were pissed for what I’d done to Colin or they were pissed because I’d just come out was anyone’s guess in a town this small.
One thing was for certain. The next couple of months before I went off to college were going to suck. Suddenly I wasn’t looking forward to that big trip to Royal Realms as much as I had been.
I reached up and touched my cheek. Huh. Something wet there. Why was I crying, damn it? Oh, right. Because I had the perfect guy and I just broke his heart because he wasn’t what I wanted. Like I even asked for any of this in the first place.
I was still rocking back and forth in his car, crying and avoiding the judgmental crowd out there, when Sarah showed up and wrapped me in a huge hug. At least the night sort of had a happy ending if you squinted and looked at it just right.
2
Amelia
Light streamed into the dark room and the sound of violins intruded on my thoughts. I fought the urge to sigh. Someone had found me. Not that I ever got much time to myself. I just hoped it wasn’t Felix.
“Amelia? What are you doing in here?”
A soft feminine voice that made me shiver. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. I looked up from my contemplation of a glass of wine I wasn’t supposed to have. Father would be annoyed if he knew I had this. Mother would be livid.
I smiled. Definitely not Felix come to escort me back out to the ballroom where I was expected to be the good little princess playing nice in front of the gathered nobility. Though the person at the door was far more dangerous than Felix in her own way, even if she didn’t know it.
“Just sitting here thinking about some things,” I said.
Jacqueline giggled as she moved in. I realized she had a glass of wine as well. A glass of wine she most certainly wasn’t supposed to have. I raised mine in a conspiratorial toast and she returned the gesture.
“I thought I’d never get away from all those boys asking me to dance,” she said as she moved across the room to join me on a couch that managed to be uncomfortable despite being overstuffed. She wobbled a bit as she made her way across the room.
I arched an eyebrow. It looked as though Jacqueline had been in the sauce a bit more than I had this evening, and that was saying something. Still, she was offering someone to commiserate with, and that was something. She was probably one of the few people who understood how I felt.
Well, mostly how I felt. She probably wasn’t feeling a sudden flush of heat as she sat next to me. I wasn’t the only girl in the world who got heated when another girl sat next to me, but I was probably one of the few princesses and heirs to a kingdom who felt that way.
“At least you can look on the bright side,” I said.
“What bright side is that?” Jacqueline asked.
She leaned in closer. Maybe she was just trying to hear me over the sound of string music drifting in from the open door, but I couldn’t help but notice the way she felt pressed against me. I felt a thrill that was far more intense than anything I felt dancing with any of the gentlemen I was supposed to be cozying up to because they were a good match for a girl of my stature.
Never mind that I wanted nothing to do with any of them.
“Well you might have to worry about a string of suitors trying to get your attention, but at least you don’t have to worry about the cameras,” I said.
“I don’t know about that. I had a few of them chasing me down the red carpet when I got here,” she said.
I sighed. I know it was one of those ‘poor little rich girl’ thoughts that I often had, but there were times that I wondered what it would be like to be able to go out and about without having a retinue of people with cameras following my every step. At least I didn’t have to worry about that in the palace. At least not too much. Only official photographers in here. None of the leeches.
“So have you run into any good prospects tonight? I saw Maximilian giving you the eye earlier,” I said, elbowing Jacqueline in the side.
I’m not sure why I brought up Allora’s most eligible bachelor. Probably because being this close to Jacqueline, smelling her perfume, feeling the heat radiating off of her body as she leaned in so close to mine, smelling the wine on her breath, had my head swirling.
I’d never thought of Jacqueline like this before. Sure I’d enjoyed her company. I thought she was beautiful, who wouldn’t? I’d just never considered her like this. The thought never occurred to me.
It was certainly occurring to me now!
“I don’t know about that. Something tells me he’s holding out for someone who’s more in his league,” she sighed. “Though that would be nice.”
I giggled and this time I leaned against her rather than elbowing her. Leaning against her felt nice. Very nice. I could get used to feeling her up close and personal like this, even if it would cause a minor scandal if word got out.
We were in a private room, though, and so I figured there wasn’t much harm in indulging myself. Especially when Jacqueline most likely thought I was just being friendly.
Friendly. Yes. That’s all I was doing.
“What on earth are you talking about? You’re easily one of the most beautiful girls out there,” I said. “Not to mention your family is easily the third most powerful in the country behind his.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence in my family,” she said with an eye roll.
“You know what I mean. Beauty and breeding. A girl like you should have no trouble drawing the attention of a handsome Dukeling!”
Jacqueline snorted at my joke and very nearly sent some of the wine she’d been sipping flying. “Little Dukeling! I like that.”
“Came up with that myself,” I said.
I came up with it myself and I’d tried it out on Maximilian who didn’t particularly care for the comparison. The boy might be handsome, not that I particularly cared about that sort of thing, but handsome and noble was a bad combination in this case that
resulted in a bad case of vanity to go along with.
“Did you really mean that?”
I turned to Jacqueline and backed away. She was right there. Like right in front of me. Inches from my face. Something clutched at my stomach. Like this weird mixed up ball of anticipation and nervousness that was all coming together and making me feel more than a little giddy. It was a good feeling even if it was a little confusing.
Yeah, I might’ve realized I was into girls, but the whole royal thing meant I didn’t have any practical experience even if I was all about it in the theoretical sense.
“What do you mean?”
“You said I was beautiful,” she said. “Did you mean that?”
Oh crap. She was leaning in even closer. Why was she leaning in that close to me? Did she have any idea what she was doing to me by being that close? Could she possibly be interested in the fairer sex as well? Or maybe she was just looking to cause some waves and irritate her parents.
Now there was a noble cause I could get behind, and not just for my own selfish reasons. I’d been known to do the occasional crazy thing just to irritate father and mother, but Jacqueline had never been like that and damn it my mind was racing and I needed to get it back on track because there was something happening here that was making me feel all warm and fuzzy and funny inside and…
I stopped. Squeezed my eyes shut. Took a deep breath and counted to ten before letting it out. That got things back under control. Sort of. Maybe.
Okay, not really.
“Well of course you’re beautiful,” I said. “Any guy would be lucky to have you!”
I’d be lucky to have her. I thought about the odds that we might get up to a little more than leaning in close to one another. It wouldn’t be the first time a noble debutante had gotten a little hot and heavy in one of the side rooms at this ball, though hundreds of years of tradition dictated that sort of thing happen between fluttery simpering girls and guys like Maximilian. Not between the debutantes themselves.
I was venturing into uncharted territory here. Both personally and historically.